Serene Yam, i agree with u... i know a person will look better without hatred. not to mention feel better... being much "lighter in the soul". However, i really cant let go. i choose to hang on to this anger and hatred, even to the extend of being tired out and worn out. So that my enemy does not benifit a single thing from me. Why must i be the fool when the Helen (exwife) tell me that she is not in a hurry to get divorce? why i am a fool to believe im pregnant n need the divorce asap? why am i a fool to believe her words that she is only plump when i suspected she is far much more pregnant in her 5 th month when i am only just pregnant? why am i a fool to being trick into paying for her to file divorce to my husband when she is expecting a illigitimate child with her affair? why am i fool to pay for her daughter's expenses and buy clothes for her? why am i a fool to buy n feed someone's child n have to early go marketing to choose the fresh fish from wet market for someone daughter who lied n cheat me? why do i have to always hear what she said and i cant vent my anger?
i choose to stop being a fool and let them benefit me... i rather take those money and feed the cats outside my house... i rather give this money to charitites and help people who doesnt treat me as a fool. Cats will meow in satifaction of a full stomach and children will have a meal at least for the day...
All of u said i have not know what is love... or maybe u should rephrase it, i choose not to love.
To be able to hate so deeply, one must have loved deeply too... dont u know that? A stranger will will never be able to bring out such strong feelings in a person.
My hubby? i dont love him? Maybe u are right... not anymore? Cos i know to love him,i will open out my heart for his daughter unknowingly and the hatred be gone. bcos when u love a person, u will accept n love everything of his. But, i dont want. i swear n want her to live in a life without as much as i can do to her. i want to take away everything of her. i want to see her down n go away n never see her again. since i can even sacrifice the love of this marriage , just to get whati want.... i know im strong. i have to be strong.
in this world, not love survives. only the strong stands and weak falls. My son? Of cos, i cant stop people cursing him... i as a mother, when he's in the womb... i already teach him to curse. I tell him, if he were to miscarriage due to my anger or mishap... use his soul to bring the girl down as well to accompany him. Every night, i talk to the unborn baby souls with grief...those around me... to understand how thier mother feel... and bring me the end of my vengence. take her down with them. Those who read this may think im crazy... but, im a happy and normal , perfect thinking mother for my son and everyone... except a demon n devil who wants her life and soul when the thought of her comes. So , best... she is out of my life n i will be back to a very happy person.
To Matka, "If the little girl has any psychological problems now or in the future, it is because of the irresponsible actions of your husband, her mother, and YOU. " You said this...
do u think i care? best if she has, i will be more happier! anything that turns out negative or bad for her, i will applaud...u should ask her mother who is reading this to stand up m bring her daughter away! and not hide behind a screen n tell me she didnt want her daughter as she could afford her... when months later, she n her affair planning for their own kid! Her mother doesnt care, her father cant care for her... why should i n what do i benefit? lolx...
ask his ex wife to take care of her current husband child with another woman. if she can do it, i will! and to add on, with the woman continuing being a bitch n slut thruout the time when she is struggling to accept this child that is not her own.
To autumn , "If you were to let go of the hatred & unforgiveness in your heart and love unconditionally instead, you will be a delightful wife and mother to be around. Instead of getting in the way of your relationship with your husband, your step-child can become the bond that holds you both tightly together. Go figure. "
i agree with what u said... but only in drama serials n those with happy ending. not all life r like that . n not all children r like that. esp what her mother is, her daughter turn out nothing better. cos i seen it all. so small n yet already so bitchy n sluty. like to touch guys n know how to change her tone n smile to differently to different people. so, y shd i take the risk n feed someone who i dun even know is a lamb in wolf's skin or a real cinderella? what if in future she teach my son to turn against me? what if she teach my son bad things n he land up in prison ? no... i wont take the chance....
i rather eliminate the roots of the doubts than perish in her hands in future without knowing how i die even... to compare n believe she will hate me than like me in future even without me hating her first is much more likely... all children who r from broken families are like this... isnt it helen? Dont u hate ur step siblings as well? not to mention ur own mother who chain n made u kneel infront of the washing machine for the whole day ? Lock up in the kitchen?? Probably u have seduced ur own father that makes ur mom so mad! hahaha.... thats what im afraid u will teach ur daughter to do... haha!!
i heard ur mother sleeps around with an uncle when she is still married with ur dad n have a sibling that doesnt look like ur dad at all... thats y u have followed her footstep... ur daughter might follow ur footstep too... thats y i dun even want her to come near me n corrupt my family.
my family may not be perfect nor the happiest. but i assure u, its better than urs n will be better without ur sickening daughter. pls bring her away n may all ur dirty blood stay as one united family.