Hi Yafang,
I think u make some mistake over here at ur post nos 367.
<Winterwhite, you need to ask your parents about the following:
- number of tables
- how many boxes of cakes they want
- anything else they want (for hokkien need to have pork leg for GDL)
- do they want roast pig on actual day (not everyone wants)
- Pin jin $$
- sequence of events for the actual day (serve tea at which side first)
- date of GDL>
changes:
- we bride side usually wait for the male side to discuss and give us the nos of table, unless the male side ask how many table do we 1?
usually 10 table will be given to the female side and tat is very resonable.
- boxes of cake, yes usually bride side asked for it.
- roast pig usually is for cantonese which is a must.
- Pin Jin in the past the bride side will ask for a nice nos, usually the bride side receive it and they only take a small certain amount and return a nice nos to the male side. reason: cant take too much as it will look bad on the female side. the male side will look down on the female side as like the female parent is selling her daughter.
- in chinese serving tea custom, We do not discuss to serve which side of tea 1st. cos it will be always the male had to come to fetch the bride (1st round)then pray and go to the male hse (2nd round). at the male hse, they pray the god too and then serve tea to the parents and relative. both couple had to kneel in front of their parents to serve tea. but not for relatives. kneeling, this is to said tat thank you for the upbringing of us, the education u give us, the care u provide,(a roof for u, clothes for u to wear, food to feed u ect) all these no matter wat happend of disagreement in the past should be forgotten as parents xin xin ku ku brought us up. we should not forget.) relative no need to kneel. jus normal serve tea.
then (3rd round)the male side bring the wife back to her bride family hm, takin roast pig if she is a cantonese, meawhile on way back, ask the driver to drive circle around for 3 rounds i think (forgot liao)Reason: after 3 days the newly weds need to go back to the female hse to 'visit' the family, cos usually pp will be oversea honey moon so now the custom is they will circle around the hse 3 rounds mean its already 3 days and then up we go to the female hse. then at female hse, we serve tea, same as the male side kneel at parents only, relatives normal serving tea.
after tat same as male hse, take photo. and then had some lunch.
then tat will be the end of the morni period.
-marriage is a traditional and once in a life time, female side should always respect male side. tat is why anything should be consider at male side 1st. Reason: ur child will be going to have the sir name of the male side.
hope this will give a brief understanding to all the soon to be brides out there.
happy weddin! wishes u all a happy marriage,
Remember, u respect people, people will repect u, and dinner usually is for parents to show off although marriage is only between both of u.
Its right tat we should fork out $$ to plan for dinner.Reson: as i mention from above, parents give birth to us, bring us up, give us roof, clothes food, educted us, provide every needs when we cannot take care of ourself. now u can take care of urself, dont forget to be repay to them. Its alright tat they demand. jus make sure both side parents sit down to discuss, any thing can be sovle, unless the marriage only discuss with 1 side parents.dont forget, in this life we cannot even returns all of the favours to our parents no matter how much u pay them. the least we can do during the weddin period is to provide a good happy wedding dinner for our parents to let them remember the happy memories of,"oh boy, my boy/my gal is growing up getting married!!"
and then be good to them till end. this is how we repay our parents.
-Wat we did to our parents, wat our kid will do to us.
mean we be good, u sure will have good kids. if not, guess i think next time u can imgine wat ur kids will be treating u in the future.
=)
