Hi Bugslife
After reading yr post, I feel that u r siding yr husband & in-laws than your own family.
My husband is not rich and he drives. 2 yrs ago, we spent most of our savings on our hse reno, now we hv slowly accumulated a bit of savings for our wedding.
My mum ever told me that my wedding, she'll invite only relatives & 1 or 2 close friends which is abt 3 tables.
I felt it was a bit too little (3 tables only) and so I am going to include additional 2-3 more tables that consists of my own frens & colleagues under her. That means I'll give my mum at least 5-6 tables. This was my decision, she didn't ask for it but I wanna give it to her. I told her that she gets to keep all the ang bao collected from these tables.
When my husband & I discussed on the venue of our wedding. I told him we will give my mum abt 6 tables & she'll keep the ang baos for these tables. He complained that it is very 'shiong' for him. But I explained that as long as we dun spend too much $ on other items like PG, VG, bridal package, etc, we can still cope without these few tables of ang baos, isn't it.
Eg: If we chose an affordable venue, costing $550 to $650, then it wld cost us abt $3.3k to $3.9k for 6 tables which we have to incur. I dun think that's not a lot of $$ as she has brought me up for the past 20 over years. It's only a small token of appreciation.
Many couples spend a fortune on bridal packages, PG & VG, expensive banquets like $800-$1k per table, shoes, make-up artist, facials, spa, slimming treatments, honeymoon travel package, etc, just wanting to have the best for their wedding. But when the event is over, they realised that they overspent & incur heavy losses. Then they blame their parents for taking their ang baos or not sponsoring the wedding.
To me, wedding is not only a couple's own affair, the parents of the couple are also sharing the joy & happiness of the occasion. So why not make it a pleasant & memorable event for all instead having everyone upset with each other and pretending to be happy on that day.