How to overcome post abortion effect?

Hi, Rem

Already replied your mail but forgot to mention what you have said in your previous post:

“remember to keep all the receipts of everything u spent on this pregnancy and babyâ€

Its funny and really made my day although don’t know how he is going to pay since he is still studying.

To shanna, matka and others

Thanks for sharing your stories and sorry for the late reply due to my work schedule.

No, I am not trying to hide the news from him, just don’t feel like telling now. Of course, he will eventually know about it and how he will react to it, I am not sure but hope it will not go down to resolve through contract or legal agreement, that’s really ugly.

Yes, I went to see the gynea with my mom (dad still not talking to me) and wow….ok..I didn’t realise that foetus can have such strong and fast heartbeat..ya…it’s a life for sure.

Ok..beside waiting and preparing for the baby to deliver…what are the things to plan/prepare….my mom will help me to look after the baby.

My immediate urgent issue is my work.

For Shanna, how did you tell your boss when you are pregnant and what is he/her response knowing you are still single? How did you colleague took to the news? I am kind of in a dilemma now on how am I going to tell my boss (he) about this matter. My current job involve travelling as I was in a regional job. Quite frustrated now, I was recently given a bigger role and my career is just moving along smoothly and to think that I may have to resign from it as I will not able to travel when I am in the later stage of the pregnancy.


Forgot to congrats you on your coming wedding and finding a bf that is able to accept your past and gal. Yes, some mentioned that single mom is no big deal in current time but honestly speaking, it is still a taboo subject as you can ask around any guy who can accept a single mom as their spouse, 9.5/10 will not, even if the 0.5% yes, he will be under pressure from their family and their family will look at you differently, who don’t wish to have a V or “clean†gal as their wife or DIL. I know my mom is worried…on the way to the clinic…she asked me whether I am very sure that I want to do this alone..whether I want her to help to talk to my bf’s family…I said no and told her not to worry…although I appeared nonchalant but do I really not think about it? thought about it …the worst case is to be a single mom for the rest of my life…can I do it?...i am not sure..the future is too far away for me to worry….but I know I am on a path of no return as I said before…people might said that I should not think so much and concentrate on my pregnancy….but can I not think about it sometime…I am just a normal gal….I still wish to have a family of my own in the future…this is a life changing decision for me….

Felt angry and frustrated sometime, nobody seem to understand me and nothing seem to go the way I wanted.


Well-Known Member
sharepoint, for sure the society tabo is there still. Auntie gossips will go on. But hi, why do you need a man that is this weak?

I disagree with your 95% stats. Love doesn't come with such conditions. I only agree with the pressure he will get. But if the man is really worth you marrying, he should be someone able to take that kind of pressure. If he love you, he would accept you the way you are.

And you are not marrying all the men out there. You only need that special man out there for you. Those losers that are still stick with the virgin gal thinking belongs to the previous era.


New Member

although I'm not sure how much I believe in it, perhaps you can put yourself in the hands of 'fate' or some other 'higher power'. Have faith that things will turn out all right. Then slowly try to survive these tough times.

The part about asking you not to think so much, it's really to help you cope lah. Imagine you keep thinking about it and then think about your father, your bfren etc etc, you may not take the stress and b4 u even have anything, you may crumble liao. Of course you will think now and then, but it will be by bits and pieces and not all at once.

Hope it helps to clarify, hang on and good luck!
Hi, Milo

You are pretty optimistic with life...are you also a counsellor? Do you really believe love is unconditional? Everyone has their own criteria or judgment for their gf or wife…even for their own children....even if it exist...its in the rare minority....we are living in the real world...a society with acceptable norms and traditions…you know…I once believed in that too…but the reality is….if you cant change the world, you have to change yourself to suit it……sometime I was thinking…even His love is not unconditional…or there will be no hell….all sins will be forgiven……

Hi, Hweebs

Leave it to ‘fate’ or ‘higher power’?

You know…I was reading the thread on ‘Kuan Yin Temple at Waterloo Street’…I was thinking….may be I should also try to go there to ‘qiu qian’ to ask for direction and to know my future or so call ‘fate’…at least its instant reply….ok…desperate situation call for desperate measure….


New Member
sharepoint, you are fortunate that your mum is willing to be your support system.

it is really during times like this when you realise how Much your parents love you. for myself, it was how my father and my mother stood up for me against my former in-laws when i finally understand the depths of parental love, as i am not a mother myself.

eh ... if you get a poor "qian" from the temple, how would that affect your spirits? from the way you write, it seems that you have the Smarts to survive this and to learn along the way. in your shoes, i would not ask for such type of "help".

regarding receipts, pls KEEP, KEEP and KEEP! what if the child's father and his parents change their minds and decide to snatch the baby from you down the road. resort to all measures to protect your legal rights; it is better to be save than sorry.


New Member

I think you forgot that Hell is for those who doesn't repent, doesn't believe in God and our Lord.. Ask for sincere forgiveness and you will find it.. and all sins will be forgiven through sincerity and repentance..

DO NOT go and qiu qian or what.. that means u are praying to other 'gods' and u clearly know that is also one thing God forbade..

Your future is in God's hands and if you trust Him in it, He will show you light and blessing..

as for keeping the receipts, it is just in case if ur ex comes and fight for baby in future, u can claim this against him.. if he have the $$ to try to fight for the custody, thn surely he have the $$ to pay u..

i disagree with your statistics on 95%vs5%.. the positive side is definitely higher than that.. and you won't need to even bother asking around either.. remember this: a man who loves you truly takes your everything.. those who don't are just not worthy of you and not suitable..

my bf doesn't only accepts my past and my gal.. instead, we are together only becoz of my past and my gal.. we have a huge age gap between us, and it's only through my life experiences, he sees that our maturity gap is not so far apart.. he saw what i can do and give for my daughter and that attracts him to me even more.. he finds the beauty in what other guys would deem as ugliness..

yes, worst case is to remain single for the rest of your life.. but single life isn't tat bad at all.. i had mentally prepared myself for that too.. all i wanted to do was to take care and fend for my child the best i can and i will nvr place her as the no.2.. she is always the no.1 priority in my life and i made it clear to my bf too.. he saw how important she is to me, through this he treats her as seriously as i do.. it's important that your future bf/hubby knows how important and treasured your child is so that they will not 'neglect' or 'abuse' the child in future even if in cases that the man doesn't love your child..

and you are not so single you know? your child will shower you with that kind of love that no man can guarantee you.. there is not guarantee if u can ever find a man who sees you as his world, not even if u are w/o a child.. but your child, he will sees you as his world, the loveliest lady in this whole wide world.. there is not a moment of loneliness, especially wen your child is older and more expressive..

get ur priorities right, everything else will fall in place nicely..


Well-Known Member
sharepoint, the thing is you don't need to change the world. The world will always be made up of a variety of all kinds of folks. There will be asses around, it is not for us to change them either. But, I have no issue telling them frankly what an uptight jerk they are.

You are going to be a mother soon. You could influence your child with the good beliefs that you stand for and believe in. Nothing changes overnight. But, we can surely influence in many ways still. Even in a forum like this, we can encourage positivity. Being optimistic isn't about a bed of roses. But, its about being able to smile and be happy despite the situation. In a way, happiness is a state of mind.

It is natural when in times of adversity, you do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems the world is judging you. When in doubt, look back, there are those that offered kindness and without prejudice to you. Not just your family. I'm not a counselor, just another chap out there. Willing to share and encourage another soul out there. I might not have gone through your path, but I survived my own set of problems thus far as I also continue to face more challenges ahead. We all have unique issues and difficulties. As we grow and move on, we can share and help others along as well.

Life is a long walk, to last through it, you need all the positivity you can get. To appreciate and enjoy every joy you have with your family and loved ones. To me, nothing matters more than that. That realization is never closer to heart than when you actually lost your loved ones. Cherish your parents when they are with you. Without love and meaning, what's there to live for? We would be existing without a cause and reason. Some might have the higher level of ambition to make the difference to not just people around us but contribute to a greater cause.

I can tell you straight, every shit that I have been in seems the worst when I'm overwhelmed in it and trying to come to terms with it. When I go pass the acceptance, I could take worser things. We can never anticipate what's coming all the time, when shit happens, we just have to deal with it. I would then be able to make the best of the terrible situation instead of feeling lousy and bad about myself further.

We are not alone in this world. As the world spins, each and everyone of us continue this walk. And your God hasn't forsaken you either. We don't live in a perfect world and we do not need to either. No one needs to be perfect before they can love. Everyone just have a different way of showing their love.

Personally, if there is heaven & hell, I am skeptical that its what the norm is viewing it as. I don't know what exactly it will be like but quite surely not how we have been taught it to be.


Well-Known Member
I do believe in unconditional love. But, not everyone else needs to believe in it. I just need to find that someone that shares that. Someone that I can completely trust to love without reserve. I found that in my wife just when I was completely hurt and pessimistic with relationships. Life was never be the same for me and I knew I had and wanted so to marry her.

The thing about qiu qian, my advise is nothing religious. Get real, if it works, then no one needs to do anything themselves. God gave you the freedom of choice and you decide to forsake the authority to lead your life?

"sometime I was thinking…even His love is not unconditional…or there will be no hell….all sins will be forgiven……"

Forgiveness is for no one but yourself. Be it forgiving others that judged or mistreated you or your own mistakes. You don't need others to forgive you to move on. You need to forgive yourself to move on. Only through forgiveness, you would let go of the burdens that you cling to yourself. To me, this is the key message in forgiveness. The only way to be at peace regardless of the situation you are in.


Well-Known Member
Sharepoint, while both wife and myself were virgins before marriage. It was never a criteria for me personally. I look at the person for who she is and accept her past. Its what makes her the person I love and cherish. Isn't it?


New Member

no lah, dun qiu qian. Just trust and have faith that your life is going according to some grand plan, and every step and every pain serves to make you a better person, and that everything will turn up fine



New Member
hi joey, sorry for this late reply..
hmmm, actually that time when i was preg, i was still schling n also working PT.
then after i gv birth, i worked PT at my cousin's place, so wasnt much of an issue.
actually imo, work is work, personal life doesnt really bother my bosses cos as long as it doesnt affect my work.

in my previous coy, my colliqs they all know abt my being a single mum, they were fine. but i duno if they gossip behind my back la, well, ought to hv some 3 gu 6 po one la.

in my current coy, i nvr mention abt being single mum, n no one asked anything, they just assume im married. LOL. hmmmm, how is your boss like? if he is the understanding n compassionate type, he wont bother as long as u do your work well.

with regards to finding another guy, well, i can say, its not really true la. if a guy truly loves u, he can accept it come what may.
i guess it boils down to fate too.
my bf accepted me n my girl readily with open arms. he loves my girl so very much, like any dad would love a child. i told him the first time i met him, n it didnt bother him one bit.
after a few mths into dating, we told his mum n she accepted it readily too.
she dotes on my girl very much too n she even invited us to go to their relatives places to introduce us during CNY.
now, a yr plus into our r/s, we r gg to get marry next yr.

i hope u dont worry so much abt meeting the right guy, cos even if u dont hv a kid, doesnt guarantee u will meet a great guy right?

hmm right now, since u alr taken the first step to get a gynae, tts good.
i guess u shld plan your steps ahead, like u mention, your job. if u r keen on carrying on in your current job, speak to your boss,i mean, not like its a crime to be a single mum, he shld be able to understand.


New Member
some practical issues ... Sharepoint, how are you going to apply for maternal leave? does your company have policy covering married mums vs unmarried mums? what is the MOM policy on this? does anyone on this forum have any experience in this area?

i have to point out to you that many Singapore companies do not take kindly towards new staff (who joined for but 1 - 2 yrs) who apply for maternal leave when they are so new in their jobs.


New Member
iirc, MOM give 2 months of paid maternity leave as long as the mother is singaporean.. the remaining will have to depend on the compassion of her company then..


New Member
yes, 2 mths maternity leave for unwed mums, n 2 days childcare leave.
if your boss is compassionate, he might offer more.
I am not really going down to the temple to qiu qian but I am always intrigued by the fact that some people told me how accurate it is and it has helped them when they are not sure of their choices….like wise for fortune teller or venerable monk which is able to tell you about your future and what steps to take to avoid mistake…does such supernatural forces or people really exist in this world?...i am not sure but when one’s is in their most vulnerable state and is drowning, he will grab whatever that comes along…who don’t want to know their future or destiny…their future spouse, career etc..knowing the future and avoiding future mistake..and more importantly being hurt again…it’s such a great pulling force..I have a lot of answers and unknown to seek and understand now….

I ever asked my mom what will my future be…she said she don’t know either but she told me to have faith in Him even when you think the whole world has deserted you, she told me a verse from the bible and I still remember: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me…my faith waiver sometime when I don’t see the end but she told me I still have her and my family…and she made me promise her to tell her all my worries and she will always be there for me…Yes, May..its only under such circumstances that we realise how great is parent’s love…when we are in the dark, they are the light that lead us to the right path…there is time when I am well and working…I thought I am ready to be independent and live my own life…I have forgotten my lonely parents at home…our gap starts to grow bigger…we are not as close before and even doubt their love for me…but my mom is still there for me…I guess this is what unconditional love means….

Hi, Shanna and Rem

Really happy for both of you….they must be some kind of guy huh…I guess there are still exception out there…ok..may be not 95% but still majority lah…you know…I used to be quite confident of myself but this incident has really dented it badly…I always thought that guys are very ‘facial’ and possessive…who can tolerate their wife or gf being….i mean…u understand? All sorts of names being called. Yes, we don’t have to care about how people think and say…..but honestly….it still hurt inside…it will hurt more if my parents hear about it…..well…may be I am thinking too faraway….or may be I am still not used to my new identity and mentally prepared for it….

My boss is a married man in his 40s and he treats me well so far but that’s on the work level...i don’t know how he will react…let’s see….

Hi, Milo

The more I read what you have wrote…there is an image in my mind of a monk achieving enlightenment…like 看破红尘….ok…may be not that serious but may be understanding something in life that I have yet to understand. You seem right but may be not…I don’t know what you have gone through but you definitely can become a counselor if you are out of job.

‘Forgiveness is for no one but yourself’…yes…may be…may be I have not forgiven myself all this while…I always blame myself for making the stupid mistake that cause so much trouble for my parents and myself… may be I never forgive myself and never move on…..if will life have a second chance….only if….


Well-Known Member
Well, life isn't abt making the right and perfect choices. What seems to be a grave mistake now might end up being something valuable experience for you. Life goes on. To stay stagnant or try to make the best out of it. The choice is in your hands. Your journey hasnt end just yet.


New Member
Blind leading the blind...

In any case, Sharepoint is having a new problem pretty soon. LOL~ Drag on...

It's be fun.

One thing about fortune tellers... I don't believe in fortune tellers in the past... But I have come across super powerfully accurate ones.

And I know both Aliens and Ghosts exist, but I witnessed... LOL~ It seems that Mr God allows me to be enlightened way more than a mortal needs be.

Bible is dead... It's written by a mortal. Muslims and Christians share the same God, yet one has a Koran and one has a bible... and one's God allows marrying many wives, while one cannot without divorce.

Ah... Sharepoint's fake Christian father still is stuck... LOL~

Be mentally prepared, and allow me to 'help' you... Don't ever tell your BeLoVeD fake Christian boy boy about your keeping the baby UNTILL you delivered...

Although it'd be fun if you do... But don't. And... have you prepared a room for your baby? When your baby is 1 month old, won't you want to celebrate? LOL~

The most immediate problem is not your boss... ... Silly woman. Think harder... ... and harder...


Well-Known Member
Sharepoint, I'm glad you are able to relate to my sharing. I can assure you I'm no counselor and do not apply any doctrines whatsoever. As many other people in here, we really feel for you. Taking the decision for abortion silently all by yourself is such a painful thing to go through. Thank goodness you did not need to go to that. It wasn't the only viable option at all. But, it was your perception that was tunnel view and limited your options. Literally, you were squeezed into the corner but your own thinking.

We are all sharing and offering genuine advises and suggestions. Its as real as it can get. There is only trouble maker in here that is not even sincere with his comments. One moment you are his specimen or research subject of his so pathetic imaginary experiments. Another, you are just a another crazy or silly local woman. And he calls us all avatars. Your issue is real, our conversations are real. None of us here is blind. The only fake agenda is obvious. The silly idiot that is calling everyone a fake is the lamest fake here. The only avatar hiding behind his stupid childishness. Really pitiful. Frankly, he needs help. He has serious issues as exhibited by his disruptive harassment and stupid behavior in the forum.


Well-Known Member
When I read your last reply, I knew that avatar would spring up with this. Totally predictable. LOL.

About your work, no point worrying. Your career can wait. Focus on your pregnancy. Don't have the expectation that everyone would be understanding. If your colleagues and boss is supportive, that's a bonus, else, it really don't matter at all. You can move on regardless.

So, I believe you have already decided that you would keep your baby regardless and now looking at the logistics and issues that would come with it. I believe the single mothers here would have 1st hand information to advise you in this area.
Hi, Milo

I am alright if people called me names but felt some what hurt and sad when people called my dad names or made fun of him…I am hurt because he is my dad and although he is not talking to me now…but that does not really reflect on his dad is not an expressive person and he is always the authoritarian person in our house…which is why I am not very close to him…I can understand if he cannot accept what I have done…if I am in his shoe…I will be the same…and I know I have disappoint and hurt him deeply….I am sad because I have brought all these upon him…I have brought shame to him...probably he is asking Him what has he done to deserve this…..he even did not go to church with my mom last week when he knew I am going…ok….that is very hurting….a home is not quite like a home to me now….I have never felt so dreadful to go home before sometime….can you understand?....may be not….

I am trying to stay positive everyday….if not for my mom…I would have end it…I would rather suffer the guilt for the rest of my life than put him through this…a lot of times because of my dad…I have asked my mom whether I should go for the abortion as it is still not too late…but she kept telling me that if I really want to keep the baby then I should not worry about my dad as he will come around someday…its not easy for my mom either…I know they have a few arguments because of these…understanding my dad’s character…there is a possibility that he will hate me forever…I can only pray and hope for the best…………..are you a believer? (you sound like one but not quite so) During your worst time, did you really have faith in Him to show you the way or you rather believe in yourself?...alot of times…it’s the courage, perseverance and determination that make the different….isn’t it?


New Member
I am alright if people called me names but felt some what hurt and sad when people called my dad names or made fun of him


don't be naive, Sharepoint. on the internet, there are nasty people as well as nice ones, just like how not everyone in real life is kind. although i am NOT supporting what hurtful people are saying about you now, i find that they represent a voice of criticism of you/ your situation, with bits of elements of truth here and there. the criticism may originate from nasty and egoistic intentions, but it represents what you are likely to face in real life. why not take this place as a virtual training ground for what you will be facing afterwards in your life?

I am sad because I have brought all these upon him

transform this guilt into positive action. vow to yourself to make up to your family for this mistake. he could have treated you worse (eg. chasing you out of the house) but did not. so you see that he still loves you.

make it up to your parents for this mistake. be good to them, because they have been good to you.


Well-Known Member

this person has other motives and agenda. His tone will always to belittle and ridicule even if there is any truth in whatever he said. All kinds of folks in the internet. We cannot put a stop to it either.

I was called all kinds of names as a kid. They ridicule everything about me and my family. You do not need to let it affect you at all.

Stop punishing yourself over your dad's reactions. No one is perfect. You made a mistake, so? Life goes on. He will not hate you forever. I once thought I would hate my dad forever. I hit him and chased him away. I encouraged my parents divorce. We don't make perfect decisions in life. We can choose to reject and dwell in negativity or move on and make good the lessons it taught us.

He has his pride and may not be so in touched with his emotions but he is not unfeeling. Why would he even be religious if he doesn't feel?

Relationships takes time to bond. My dad took over 10 yrs to rebond with me. And it took till his death to completely let go and forgive myself. CHERISH your family.


New Member
This person that person. LOL~

Am I making fun of Sharepoint's Dad? He's a fake Christian what. Fake means fake.

What is a Christian's belief? What did Jesus believe when he was nailed on the cross? When your daugther is in trouble, when your wife comes for you to aid, when your grandchild is facing the great prospect of being aborted...

And you a Christian father adds pressure with your ugly black charcoal voiceless face...

If he is a TRUE Christian... LOL~ Very nasty. How nasty can it be as compared to his years of faking? He's a bloody FACIAL. And you are hurted because you love him, and he's hurting you because he's a FACIAL and you think I am making fun of him.

But get real... Your Dad and your BF are just fake Christians. So long already, and he still loves his face more... LOL~

Let me tell you something... ... The work of an angel differs from that of the devil is because the devils will always sweet-talk you into losing your souls...

You should know why you are in trouble... You are still such someone some devils will come along and suck the soul away... even when you are becoming a mother. Not good.

Are you going to be a mother forever like this? Can you face your father? If you can't... How are you going to face the world for your child? How are you going to withstand the child's father?

Nasty... LOL~

Your father obviously knows... abortion was on the card, his daughter needs support... He prayed to the Father, Mr God... But he seems to forget, he is the father of his daughter. How'd he expect Mr God to bless him when he is refusing to come to your side? Only your mother has shown her love in the 1st instance...

Your father... ... LOL~ You should be hurted. Your father is just a fake Christian.

Yeah... I am so nasty... LOL~

BTW, a heartless man is not worthy for Heaven...


New Member
hi joey, thanks, i guess i was really lucky. perhaps fate (well, i wont say god, if not later kena shoot. =X ) finally felt tt its time for me to meet a great guy after all the rubbishy ones. =X
dun feel so bad regarding your father's reaction.
i guess it's his pride. it takes time to heal his pride n overcome this "face" issue.
i had this problem too, to a certain extent, of cos we worry if ppl say hurtful things n such. but i proved to many, if not all, that i m worthy of a mother as much as those who r married. i bring up my girl well, n gv her the best that i could. she isnt short of any priviledges that any other child has, if not, she has more?

well, in the first 2 yrs of her life, perhaps she didnt hv a daddy to love n care for her, but she had her mummy who gv her endless love n concern, n also her grandparents n 2 aunts who showered her with much more! haha she is overloaded with love that she is kinda bratty now~ =X but i can assure u, this child of yours, will bring your family closer, bcos it did for mine.

your dad's attitude will gradually change, esp when he carries the little one in his arms, all face n pride will no longer be an issue. (do not belittle a father's love too ok? :D)

like milo mentioned, we all make mistakes n we cant make the perfect decision all the time. but what u can do now, is to make the best out of your decision n forget abt the regrets, life is too short for that. right now, u hv a new life (or beginning) in u, which will begin soon, in less than a yr! so stop these negative thinkings! (not good for ur health)
take good care! :D


hi Sharepoint

Some people may feel that it'll incite you to think by playing Devil's Advocate. This tack may work for some, but not work for all.

In any case, as what some have said... we all make mistakes. Usually, we are blind to this and regret later. Now that you have come to a point of realisation, the important thing is to make restitution and do the right thing. You can't turn back time and say "I should not have...", so now you have to move on and choose wisely. What are the guiding principles in your life? Jesus had followers when he was alive, but in the last days of his life, some of them turned around and mocked and crucified for standing up for the truth.

You have chosen to keep your child, and you will have to be prepared for some ill-will by other people (I believe you are prepared for it). But down the road, this will be of the past. Your job now is to protect the life within you whether or not you have support from anyone...

This is the one time you will know you your true friends are. Talk to them.

You don't need to know the future to know what to "avert". Just take things as they come along and do the right thing. Even then, the result may not turn out the way you want it to be - but as long as you have good intentions, you have nothing to fear.

Your dad, isn't a fake Christian. He is just blindsided for now. He is looking at short-term: how is he going to explain it to people who ask, worried that people will talk about him and you. Perhaps he doesn't yet realise what lies in the long-term: a beautiful grandchild to love and to hold.

PM me if you need someone to talk to.


New Member

your dad is a human with emotions. he has the full rights to be angry with you. he also has the rights to take his time to calm down before dealing with you directly again.

his silent consent to allow your mother to run the show now is an indirect expression of his love to you.

remember this - he could have done more horrible things by insulting you, or asking you to leave his house. he did not. i guessed he controlled himself and restrained himself. in this, there is kindness.

when something like this happens, everyone gathers to watch. some onlookers sympathise and extend help and consolation, some judge and scorn, some even mock and insult. there are some people who will even be gleeful because they gain self-justification in other people's mistakes and suffering. be mentally prepared for all these.


New Member

Maybe Mr God should learn from her Dad and not from her Mom. LOL~

Fake... means fake.

Such devotion to God all these years and never once surpassing the love of a woman... He prayed all those years to a Father whose ways have never been sincerely learned.

His silent consent... LOL~ Why? Do you people expect her Dad to divorce her Mom instead? Muddleheaded mortals.

To be a mother of a child, it's time Sharepoint grows up. Angels and devils... ... LOL~

A fake Christian... who has a wife who was pregnant before... and knows perfectly well the need for support, and offer his black ugly charcoal and voiceless face... in silent consent by not throwing her out... LOL~

That's how much love of a mortal blinded by his own facial... How can he be a father having double standard... when he prayed for God's blessings, and denies immediate blessing to a damsel in distress... and he being the father of this damsel...?

His face is so much more important than his love for his daughter that he should be blind by what anger... at such moment of need?

Does his daughter deserve less love than his desire of love from his Father? LOL~

Fake Christian... years of belief and prayers... and this is the result of God's little test. How... disappointing.

He is but a human with emotions... Agreeable. His own daughter needs support and love more than anything else more than from anyones but her parents... and only her mother has come to her and the grandbaby...

I don't have a daughter, nor would I need to gain what self-justification. The role of a mother must be someone able to reach a level of capabilities...

Sharepoint must be prepared to face the world, and she must grow up. There is no denial that her father is but a fake Christian. If he is indeed blind, he's just blind lah... If this is other people's daughter, as Sharepoint put it before... He'd have happily talked cock at them.

What sort of Christian is he? LOL~


Active Member
scope guy may be talking nonsense mostly but I think he is right about the father.

What face? And still angry? It is already a done deal.. that she is going to have the baby.. Don't even have the courage to accept it?

Just plain old stubborn man.


New Member
no, he is talking too much cock... and serves no purpose at all.

"fake" christians or not, not all fathers can accept this fact right from the start. yes, he might be stubborn or whatsoever but doesn't mean he won't support her decision (to keep the baby) in time to come.

so what's the freaking point of dedicating such long posts for that?
Hi, people

I shouldn’t have talked too much about my dad’s reaction in this forum that cause him appear to be seem as a stubborn or hypocrite man…that is not my intention….and I shall not do it anymore…I hope we can leave it at that……

I know I need to grow up….I need to be tough and strong for my child…..I know I do not have the capability to be a good mom…I know I have been depending on my parents for too long…I don’t even have the ability to take care of myself now…..I know……but I will learn…..



New Member
i wonder what it would be like to drink coffee with scope. imagine us sitting in starbucks and he commences lecturing us on True Romance of a Lifetime. our minds will be blown away by the awesome immensity and loftiness of his teachings. following which our mouths will come agape at the passion in which the lecture will be delivered. and starbucks will tremor with the reverberations of "LOL".



New Member
Still a child...
Fine. There is a tendency your Dad will in some time bluntly said something about you...

Bite your teeth, and ignore, ok?

You will grow up, and you need tears. Go and have a good cry. If you don't depend on your parents... are you really going to expect God to send you a visa card?

Be a mother, face reality. You child needs you to grow up.


New Member
May Ong,

Well... If you drink copi with me, you can imagine me be very quiet one...

...because after I finish drinking, you won't notice I disappear...

...without paying. LOL~

Not really. Assuming we do drink copi, normally in physical socialising, I'd probably take you like some clients... you say I nod. Yeah yeah yeah yeah... Then you go cry go divorce... my problem meh? LOL~

But if you are good friend, I'd try to market you the concept of love. You can't expect me to keep quiet when you need love aid. And most women are really sotongs in rational thinking when it comes to this field.



New Member
your father's reaction is to be expected, those who have called him names are probably not parents themselves and therefore have no idea why your father is reacting such...

every parent has hopes and expectations of his or her children and when they fall short, the parent is naturally disappointed and angry, so your father is not fake, he's just a father...


Active Member
scope is just an avatar...

I can almost bet that in real person he is not half as long winded as he is here..

He is probably shy and meek.. and hide somehwere..


Active Member

u need to understand that sometimes it is really hard for a person to give forgiveness and what u hv done is not trivial stuff like breaking dad's favorite vase but something more serious. u gotta hv a lot more patience for this one...


Well-Known Member
SharePoint, seriously you need to learn not to be so affected by criticisms. Nothing will happen to your dad with what scope or others might have to say about him. He isn't perfect, neither are you. Yet you love each other in your own ways too.

One can understand the issues he is facing and him wanting you to abort is beyond face, beliefs and pride. He definitely has your interest in place too. Appreciate their good intentions but its still your call, your life. You don't need to live it up to the expectations of anyone else. You can continue to show your concern and love to your parent despite not being perfect in their eyes.

In life, many things are never ever clear cut. Its not fixed answers or the best or right interpretation. Each have a different set of priorities. Often, its hardly completely selfless or selfish. Mostly, a combination in between. What do we choose to focus on?

My advise... things that truly matters. Is it important that no one says anything about your old man? No. What's important is for you to handle your pregnancy and family well. You are going to need all the support to get through this.

Scope has been insulting many people in this forum. And all kinds of things he accused about me too as well. But, that's not the important thing here. This thread is about you. He can offer his nonsense help and be irritating, but, you really need not be affected at all. We cannot choose the situation we want to be in. Its always a consequences of many factors including luck, what we can control is how we choose to respond and react to it. Don't focus on things that are beyond your control. Its upsets you and its totally pointless.

What Scope spoke of Muslim and Christianity having the same God shows how little he even understand the faith. The christian faith is not about the New or Old testament. Its about the his grace. Not the acts of men, or what men wrote. Christ is seen as another prophet by the Muslims and they do not believe in the key fundamental belief in the Christian faith. Its definitely not the same at all.


Active Member

I am not exactly calling his father name.. but I do think that the unfortunate even has occurred.. What is the point of the father to continue to give black face?

I am a father myself. My eldest daughter will be 19 this year. I am not saying that I will be very happy with a pregnant daughter.. but after it has became a reality, we have to learn to deal with it.

And a grown-up man cannot deal with such an event? His daughters need his support. Looks up to him. Now who is disappointing who?

Yes, we can be angry and disappointed but we also must DEAL with the situation. Not talking to the daughter is not the right way a responsible adult should be.


New Member

cause if scope is like what he portrays here in his real life, i thought it would be comical to meet him in real person. imagine it is a nice normal day like any other at the raffles city starbucks, except that we are drinking coffee with the Guy who thinks he is the Messiah .... the irony is hilarious ...


Well-Known Member
Parents also human, they also need time to deal with it. Some are more capable of handling it rationally than others. Still, why focus on the criticism and the fake advises?

I can understand sm's pov. but not scope constant ranting. There is a significant difference between pointing out a person's issues than name calling. Fake claims of rendering help when he cannot even objectively focus on helping instead of being an ass as usual.


New Member

I came into the forum with my own set of problems and chanced upon your thread. I'm glad that you've finally decided to keep the baby out of your own will altho I can totally empathise with you even if you gave it up.

I just want to tell you that I walked that path you do today, except that you're much much mature than I was, altho I was older.

I was 24 and the baby was 20 weeks old when I discovered her. It was silly but I thought it was becos of all the 8 different kinds of pills I was taking (as I was sick all the time) that was messing up my body. And I had been scolded by a doctor for a false alarm before so that made me even more frightened of seeing a doc to confirm my pregnancy. When eventually I did, he was at home sleeping and the doc kept asking if he was outside and wanted him to go into the room to talk to him! I panicked when the pregnancy was confirmed and I kept asking if an abortion was possible. The doc told me that some private gynaes might do it for a baby that big. But eventually, I didn't have the heart to do it.

Like you, my parents were highly conservative. I didn't know how to break it to my parents, until one night, my mother who was always critical and shrewish came to me and asked if anything was weighing on my heart. Like how your mother reacted, I was surprised to see her unusually quiet when she learnt about the matter. My father didn't talk to me for a few days.

We ROMed 3 weeks later, but he proved to be an irresponsible man. He promised a customary and a flat which never materialised. We never lived together becos he kept wanting me to move in with him into his parents' flat without any customary. He came by to visit the baby about 2 or 3 times a year. Eventually, at 29, I divorced him without asking for any alimony or maintenance, owing to the poor advice of a legal aid lawyer.

You are still very young. You won't be a single mother forever.

Like what Amulet said, my child did not face any discrimination when she was a single-parent child. In fact, she was a very happy child becos my own family and myself gave her all the happiness we could altho I couldn't afford much. In any case, you probably won't go around telling the whole world,"My child is born out of wedlock." Just go along if anyone suggests anything about the father,"He's at work/He's not free."

If you're concerned that the child's BC is without a father's name, you can put the father's name on the BC as long as he gives consent. Doesn't need to be married. But that might give him the contention right next time altho eventually you'll still keep the child since children almost always go to the mother.

From what you've written, I can be sure you'll make a competent mother becos you come across as being really mature for your age. I'll pm you my email address. You can email me anytime you've any query or need to ask something about motherhood, or simply anything. You need all the support you need.


Some people just take a longer time than others to get over things.

Sharepoint will have no control over how her father reacts, and her father is not in the forum ... so being critical of him won't help matters in any way. Rather than fan the flames, it would be better to just give her encouragement. You can tell that she loves her parents very much.


New Member
Sharepoint, perhaps it's just that at the moment, your dad is finding it hard to accept what happened. I believe in time to come, he'll soften towards you and the baby. Just give him some time and don't blame yourself anymore... now you should concentrate on being healthy in body and spirit.