Divorce or Separation Questions - need advice

Ziraffe

Ziraffe

New Member
Cath_rina said:
I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?
Click to expand...

To me, it seems like it is a guy facing some issues with his wife. He is trying to recount what they are going thru and what his wife is thinking by pretending to be his wife here?

Or..

It might be a lady (A) whom one of her female friends (B) is going thru the above. B has confined into A and A felt disgusted. Thus A is trying to "share" B's story by impersonating B over here in this forum. Well, actually A is trying to shame B lah..

That's what you get when you read too much Sherlock Holmes.. Ha.
 


N

newproject

Active Member
Ziraffe said:
It might be a lady (A) whom one of her female friends (B) is going thru the above. B has confined into A and A felt disgusted. Thus A is trying to "share" B's story by impersonating B over here in this forum. Well, actually A is trying to shame B lah..

That's what you get when you read too much Sherlock Holmes.. Ha.
Click to expand...

If this is the case it's really sad.

During a divorce, feelings will run high and girls (some not all) can get vicious.

But the poster here is way over the top so your scenario might be right.
 
A

aj waldron

New Member
As for me,my partner is bad,she cheated on me and i didnt know until i found a guy called hacknspy ...he helped me get into her device without she knowing and i used it as evidence against her,you might need some help too he is hacknspytech atgmaildotcom......i am back to myself now and happy.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
JaneLi said:
Best is to seek advice from a lawyer.. they are more professional & more in the position to advice u then us >_<
Click to expand...

Yes thanks. I got a lawyer. Didn't know that a woman have so much rights in a divorce. But i have to pay for the divorce since he couldn't afford. He cried at the law firm today begging me to not ask for maintenance as he's willing to give me the full share of the flat. He came over to my parents home, cried and begged my parents to talk to me and he's still crying and begging outside now instead of having a sense of priorities like getting a real job. Useless man. I wonder if I should demand for maintenance since i am worried my relationship with my new bf might not work out. He has to compensate my wasted youth anyway. 50% of his salary is the lowest i am willing to go but i think i should get more since he barely makes enough.
 
S

Staypositive

Active Member
Cath_rina said:
Yes thanks. I got a lawyer. Didn't know that a woman have so much rights in a divorce. But i have to pay for the divorce since he couldn't afford. He cried at the law firm today begging me to not ask for maintenance as he's willing to give me the full share of the flat. He came over to my parents home, cried and begged my parents to talk to me and he's still crying and begging outside now instead of having a sense of priorities like getting a real job. Useless man. I wonder if I should demand for maintenance since i am worried my relationship with my new bf might not work out. He has to compensate my wasted youth anyway. 50% of his salary is the lowest i am willing to go but i think i should get more since he barely makes enough.
Click to expand...

Dun you feel embarrassed or ashamed to made known to others how you intend to exploit ur husband?!anyway ur actions are simply revolting.this forum is Not for you to declare your prowess in defeating your husband in the divorce or to mock him.no one in the right frame of mind will condone ur trash actions.No one force you to marry him in the first place so you can't blame him for wasting ur youth.i think you are more useless than him since you need someone who earn lesser than you to support you financially.seriously just get lost man!
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
Staypositive said:
Dun you feel embarrassed or ashamed to made known to others how you intend to exploit ur husband?!anyway ur actions are simply revolting.this forum is Not for you to declare your prowess in defeating your husband in the divorce or to mock him.no one in the right frame of mind will condone ur trash actions.No one force you to marry him in the first place so you can't blame him for wasting ur youth.i think you are more useless than him since you need someone who earn lesser than you to support you financially.seriously just get lost man!
Click to expand...

It is my right to demand for maintenance not exploiting. He failed his duties as a husband so it is his responsibility to pay. I can't see the reason why i should feel ashamed. If he is a man then he shouldn't have harassed my family and disgrace himself by begging and crying. Can you imagine how embarrassing it was when neighbours looked at us as though we are sinners?
 
candyapple

candyapple

New Member
So it was embarrassing when your husband made a scene, but you fooling around outside isn't? Why did you not mention you failed your duties as a wife? It takes 2 hands to clap. Stop blaming your husband for everything.

Your posts are too self-righteous and seems incredulous. You are more like a scriptwriter looking for inspirations or just plain trolling. But anyway, what goes around comes around. Live and let live.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
candyapple said:
So it was embarrassing when your husband made a scene, but you fooling around outside isn't? Why did you not mention you failed your duties as a wife? It takes 2 hands to clap. Stop blaming your husband for everything.

Your posts are too self-righteous and seems incredulous. You are more like a scriptwriter looking for inspirations or just plain trolling. But anyway, what goes around comes around. Live and let live.
Click to expand...

Say whatever you want. I am not a troll. Your imagination is very creative. Simple fact is that he is not good enough and it's his responsibility to be good enough for me. I gave him a chance by accepting his proposal but he forced me to find another bf with his incompetence and lack of qualities. I didn't fool around, i was just trying to find my own happiness so what's wrong with that? Anyway i got the advise i wanted already and I'm working with my lawyer. Didn't know the huge amount of rights i got. Haters can say anything they want. All my friends my family my bf support me and say he's just not presentable or good enough. Can't speak proper English, retrenched and drives a private hire car, had to scrimp and save to feed me. How pathetic. This is Singapore, I will win this divorce no matter what. My rights as a woman will be respected. Bye
 
candyapple

candyapple

New Member
Okay okay, we get it. You are a woman with rights and will win this divorce case no matter how incorrigible and unreasonable you are. Did you seriously thought that you won't get any backlash with your posts?

Here's hoping that your good-for-nothing-soon-to-be-ex-husband will never make it in life and won't ever become successful so that you will never have to regret ever treating him like this, and that karma never gets you. Byebye.

And thanks, I have always been told I have a very fertile imagination.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
candyapple said:
Okay okay, we get it. You are a woman with rights and will win this divorce case no matter how incorrigible and unreasonable you are. Did you seriously thought that you won't get any backlash with your posts?

Here's hoping that your good-for-nothing-soon-to-be-ex-husband will never make it in life and won't ever become successful so that you will never have to regret ever treating him like this, and that karma never gets you. Byebye.

And thanks, I have always been told I have a very fertile imagination.
Click to expand...

Hello? Me unreasonable? Better than hypocrites. Anyway I'm fighting for my rights as a woman. I'm glad Singapore respects our rights as women like having the women's charter and repealing marital rape immunity. Useless men deserve to be put back into place. We have no room for these useless people.
 
4

4sgbrides

New Member
In the unlikely event that this is real, wonder how your bf will think if he chances upon this.

Karma bites. I hope your bf does not look for a younger and prettier gf when you grow old.
 
N

newproject

Active Member
4sgbrides said:
In the unlikely event that this is real, wonder how your bf will think if he chances upon this.

Karma bites. I hope your bf does not look for a younger and prettier gf when you grow old.
Click to expand...
I'm sure "she" is going to reply her bf fully supports her. Haha
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
When you can't agree with me, you call me a troll and curse that my relationship with my new bf fails. How convenient. You must be another of those like my soon to be ex husband loser.
 
V

verysadguy

Member
Cath_rina said:
I'm just too hot for him to handle. Anyway, it is not my responsibility that he is unemployed now. It is his responsibility to get a good job. So if he can't handle the marriage then why did he propose? He proposed so It's his responsibility to take up all that comes with it. It's all his fault. The women's charter is here to defend women from such losers.

Last night we discussed about it and I have been very kind to him so i don't see any reason why i should be 'more kind'. i tried to make it easy for him by giving him the option of giving me the whole flat and an alimony of 2k a month. But he begged and cried asking me to have mercy on him he cannot afford the alimony. I have never seen someone as pathetic as him. How do you expect me to stay married to a loser like him? He can't even afford the lawyers fees and now i have to fork out the lawyers fees to divorce this useless man. Luckily we got no children. But thanks for the advise. I will get the lawyer to further advise.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah...You have done a good job and let this be a reminder to all those guys who wanted to get marry or got male friends who wanted to get marry. Please think carefully. This is what you get when you marry a wrong gal. There are no turning back and there is no way to know the future of your marriage.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
verysadguy said:
Oh yeah...You have done a good job and let this be a reminder to all those guys who wanted to get marry or got male friends who wanted to get marry. Please think carefully. This is what you get when you marry a wrong gal. There are no turning back and there is no way to know the future of your marriage.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah! I now open my eyes to see what losers these local men are.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
HELP! that useless to be ex husband is not giving me the flat. Some people helped him got a lawyer. he wants to buy over my share and is offering only 50%. And I'm unable to get any maintenance. My lawyer advised that i take up the offer citing about lack of merits in my case. I can't file for divorce now. how can i force him to give up the flat and pay maintenance? i need the flat in case my current relationship cannot work out otherwise i will be homeless! i can't move back to my parents place now and i don't want to waste money renting. anyone here has past experience?
 
Infernolord

Infernolord

Active Member
Cath_rina said:
HELP! that useless to be ex husband is not giving me the flat. Some people helped him got a lawyer. he wants to buy over my share and is offering only 50%. And I'm unable to get any maintenance. My lawyer advised that i take up the offer citing about lack of merits in my case. I can't file for divorce now. how can i force him to give up the flat and pay maintenance? i need the flat in case my current relationship cannot work out otherwise i will be homeless! i can't move back to my parents place now and i don't want to waste money renting. anyone here has past experience?
Click to expand...

yea. sell the 50% , get the money and down deposit for a new place. And follow the rest.
1. Ask new BF give you maintainance expense
2. Ask new BF pay for your housing installment
3. Ask new BF if he love you, he shld work hard. dun be an asshole like your hubby.
4. let see if the BF will do that. (if not, he is just another loser) Change New BF!

So simple!
 
S

Staypositive

Active Member
Cath_rina said:
HELP! that useless to be ex husband is not giving me the flat. Some people helped him got a lawyer. he wants to buy over my share and is offering only 50%. And I'm unable to get any maintenance. My lawyer advised that i take up the offer citing about lack of merits in my case. I can't file for divorce now. how can i force him to give up the flat and pay maintenance? i need the flat in case my current relationship cannot work out otherwise i will be homeless! i can't move back to my parents place now and i don't want to waste money renting. anyone here has past experience?
Click to expand...

Previously you mentioned you have capable earning power,so why worry?help urself lor!
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
Infernolord said:
yea. sell the 50% , get the money and down deposit for a new place. And follow the rest.
1. Ask new BF give you maintainance expense
2. Ask new BF pay for your housing installment
3. Ask new BF if he love you, he shld work hard. dun be an asshole like your hubby.
4. let see if the BF will do that. (if not, he is just another loser) Change New BF!

So simple!
Click to expand...

The problem is i am not sure about my new bf now. He is not certain that he is going to ROM with me after divorce. I need the flat and I must get the flat and maintenance because there are so much uncertainties now. If nothing works out, I won't be able to buy a hdb and condos are too expensive. i don't want to waste money and rent a place. it is all my ex husband's fault. None of this would have happened if he took up the offer i had for him.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
ing1 said:
Move in to yr current bf's house. If not, refer to infernolord's point 4.

So simple!
Click to expand...

He is French and he has a different culture so you cannot blame him if he is not comfortable to have me moving in with him. You have something against foreigners?
 
I

ing1

Active Member
Cath_rina said:
He is French and he has a different culture so you cannot blame him if he is not comfortable to have me moving in with him. You have something against foreigners?
Click to expand...
Indeed, such a different culture that he feels comfortable to date and sleep with a married woman and not comfortable in having his gf moving in with him.

And nope, I am not xenophobic.
 
S

Staypositive

Active Member
ing1 said:
Indeed, such a different culture that he feels comfortable to date and sleep with a married woman and not comfortable in having his gf moving in with him.

And nope, I am not xenophobic.
Click to expand...
Cath_rina said:
He is French and he has a different culture so you cannot blame him if he is not comfortable to have me moving in with him. You have something against foreigners?
Click to expand...

French or not,if he truly cares abt your wellbeing he wouldn't leave you in the lurch.how silly can you get.calling ppl names but silly yourself.
 
S

Staypositive

Active Member
ing1 said:
Indeed, such a different culture that he feels comfortable to date and sleep with a married woman and not comfortable in having his gf moving in with him.

And nope, I am not xenophobic.
Click to expand...

Yeah,'strange' French man.aiyah,perhaps he is just fooling around with her.lol.
 
Last edited:
S

Staypositive

Active Member
Cath_rina said:
can't you be more gentlemanly enough to stop making these remarks? I'm seriously looking for advise.
Click to expand...

Heh.you dun even respect men.but you expect them to respect u.?! What I'm telling u are facts ,can't u tell the difference?as much as you try to deny it,it is the truth.if that French man is a decent man in the first place,he wouldn't got involved with u or be intimate with you in the first place.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
Staypositive said:
Heh.you dun even respect men.but you expect them to respect u.?! What I'm telling u are facts ,can't u tell the difference?as much as you try to deny it,it is the truth.if that French man is a decent man in the first place,he wouldn't got involved with u or be intimate with you in the first place.
Click to expand...

who says i don't respect men. i respect my bf. i respect my father.
 
N

newproject

Active Member
Please chill.

Cath_rina is right. Her ex husband is a loser. That's why he is unable to keep her

Nobody to blame but himself.
 
S

Staypositive

Active Member
newproject said:
Please chill.

Cath_rina is right. Her ex husband is a loser. That's why he is unable to keep her

Nobody to blame but himself.
Click to expand...

How you know?anyway ur just as questionable as her.cant believe u actually side her blindly but thinking back that is quite possible since ur as vengeful as her.
 
C

Cath_rina

Member
Staypositive said:
Yeah but you look down on ur own husband and condemn him.is that respect?
Click to expand...

i didn't look down on him. he deserves to be despised. he is in his 30s and he's now driving a cab. He is so financially unsound that he simply cannot make it. i cannot even present him to my friends. Do you understand how pathetic he is when he has to eat those 2 dollars cheap meals at the hawker centre to buy me a decent meal? he can't even afford to buy himself a proper dinner. he still wears the disgusting free army shoes for interviews and he cannot even provide for the family so serves him right to be looked down on. now he wants to fight over the flat with me! what a loser. if he is a man he should go and buy himself a flat and not fight with a woman for it.
 
S

Staypositive

Active Member
Cath_rina said:
i didn't look down on him. he deserves to be despised. he is in his 30s and he's now driving a cab. He is so financially unsound that he simply cannot make it. i cannot even present him to my friends. Do you understand how pathetic he is when he has to eat those 2 dollars cheap meals at the hawker centre to buy me a decent meal? he can't even afford to buy himself a proper dinner. he still wears the disgusting free army shoes for interviews and he cannot even provide for the family so serves him right to be looked down on. now he wants to fight over the flat with me! what a loser. if he is a man he should go and buy himself a flat and not fight with a woman for it.
Click to expand...
Why did u choose to be with him in the first place,since he disgusted you so much?now you blame him for your predicament. You have a part to play in this relationship you know. You seems to give ppl the impression,if ur not happy with the person,you just dump and go.and the process will continue whenever ur dissatisfied. If one day,you become useless and others dump u ,how would you feel? Would you feel that because ur useless so u derserved to be dumped?

Perhaps you have not thought of all this in ur selfish mind.btw,no one is more superior than the other. do not judge others based on their profession.
 
Last edited:
C

Cath_rina

Member
Staypositive said:
Why did u choose to be with him in the first place,since he disgusted you so much?now you blame him for your predicament. You have a part to play in this relationship you know. You seems to give ppl the impression,if ur not happy with the person,you just dump and go.and the process will continue whenever ur dissatisfied. If one day,you become useless and others dump u ,how would you feel? Would you feel that because ur useless so u derserved to be dumped?

Perhaps you have not thought of all this in ur selfish mind.btw,no one is more superior than the other. do not judge others based on their profession.
Click to expand...

He proposed. He must take his responsibilities. But he failed miserably. So he has to pay the price for not being able to be the man he should be.
 
Ziraffe

Ziraffe

New Member
Cath_rina said:
He proposed. He must take his responsibilities. But he failed miserably. So he has to pay the price for not being able to be the man he should be.
Click to expand...

Actually I pity you. Your life is ruined because of a man whom you seen as a loser. From what I gathered from your replies, you keep blaming your husband, calling him a loser because he cannot provide for you. Do you see yourself as an able-bodied woman or a parasite that you have to leech on others? And now you have to look for another loser to leech on. Seems that you cannot take charge of your life. Makes me wonder are you that pathetic?

If this is a genuine case, the real loser is you.
 
N

newproject

Active Member
Staypositive said:
Why did u choose to be with him in the first place,since he disgusted you so much?
Click to expand...

To be fair when she married him , he was probably pretty well off. A woman like this I can't imagine she will marry a guy who wasn't well off at the time .

I mean staypositive always advocates that woman should protect themselves, guys should show they got financial ability to always pay etc

I mean she sickens me too don't get me wrong but the guy bears some responsibility for not "opening eye big big" before marrying her.

That's why I say it's always wise to see if the girl got princess mentality , like during dating just take and take . It's not a matter of acting like a big man or throw face because you expect the girl to occasionally carry her own weight.

Ultimately I think Cath husband spoiled her. the implicit contract he had with her was he would remain successful financially otherwise it's over.

She was used to a certain level of treatment , guy pay all, a certain level of financial success etc , so from her pov this has now changed so of course she upset.

Is this fair? I'm accused of always defending man and against woman, here's exactly what happens if you are not wary...

The problem of course is this poster is 99% troll in reality girls are much better at hiding their true colors. There's a reason why the most common reason for divorce is financial matters mostly because woman not happy with the guy l...
 
I

ing1

Active Member
I think financial matters is the real marriage killer bcos both parties have different expectations towards money issues, rather than woman being able to hide true colours.

That being said, I dun deny that some people marry for money and the other party willingly and knowingly agree to marry too. This applies to both genders. Just my tots.
 
N

newproject

Active Member
ing1 said:
I think financial matters is the real marriage killer bcos both parties have different expectations towards money issues, rather than woman being able to hide true colours. .
Click to expand...

Maybe hide true colors is wrong phrasing . But it's true that many woman marry for "security" which means financial security.

But often is the guys fault because they don't set the right expectations.

Imagine during dating period the guy shower the woman with gifts, luxuries, best vacations and dinning, pay for everything, wedding expenses everything or almost everything. Guy promises the gal a life of luxary.

The expectation is set that the guy will do it all. Cant blame the gal in a way.

But after wedding reality sets in and / or unforseen circumstances happens , guy get retrenched or sick and can't work. You can't blame the girl for feeling betrayed. Here is where the quality of your judgement in choosing a mate comes into play.

That being said, I dun deny that some people marry for money and the other party willingly and knowingly agree to marry too. This applies to both genders. Just my tots.
Click to expand...

Males tend to marry for looks.. lot of man have egos can;t accept more "capable" woman.
 


I

ing1

Active Member
Then I think I have seen and know more and more these rare ones who doesn't "have" any egos.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

C
advice from all please, urgent
Replies
2
Views
434
Hapbi
H
H
Need advice urgently
Replies
7
Views
4K
cookie0511
C
J
Dual Citizens With Separation & Divorce Questions
Replies
0
Views
2K
jonnyshonny
J
J
Should I allow my MIL to live with us?
Replies
4
Views
2K
socialrabbit11
S
G
A confession of a married man
Replies
2
Views
4K
chinleng
chinleng

Top