Should I allow my MIL to live with us?


New Member
Hi all, just wanna share & probably at the same time hear out anybody who is in the same circumstances like I do.

Moved into our new home about 6 mths ago. MIL is currently not staying with us but told the hub that she wants to. Currently she only comes during the weekends. Actually it's not the first time she hinted in front of their family already. She's considered an ok person less those times when she will comment a bit here & there. For eg, commenting that the floor is dirty/oily even when I had already done the chores for the whole day.

So recently, the topic of moving came back again with the hub telling me his mum want to move in (she is currently living with the relative). Hub asked me how again & ask me to give him a reason/excuse to tell them. He told me that he doesn't want to be unfillal & wants his mother/family to move in. Actually I was quite upset cause all along I thought he was standing on the same side as me. Not that disallowing to move in, but like can stand from my pov to understand me. I feel that like nobody bothers about my view at all (cause it's our own home afterall), like don't even bother to ask me so is it ok to move over, but rather now the stand is like, so I can move in or not, cannot then I will just be unhappy about it, that kind. The hub can even say to me things like so now you are showing your true colours. I was like WTH? All I told him was if whoever eventually moves in, please don't expect me to be the kind of individual who will give a very warm welcome when back home or dont always say that I show face when all along I am this kind of pattern. When I'm tired or don't feel like it, my face will show up. Is it that I'm not allowed to do that even in my own home? I don't want to be judged even at home, that's how I feel. My friends/family who knows me well enough will know me.

Anyway before this time round happens, actually we had few quarrels happened already. I'm the kind of introverted individual & am the RBF type. Doesn't really like to interact much also. Also I'm quite particular when it comes to my own home, like cleaning dishes, laundry & stuff like this. My concern is like what I mentioned above, not getting judged at my own home, do whatever I want & no need to feel restricted cause you know having another person other than your hub is different. Different lifestyles of one another as well.


New Member
When my husband asked if his dad could stay with us after the wedding, I said sure, since my father-in-law is also super shy and laid back - he didn't bother commenting on anything in our house or to me. But then it turned out he's a very active church member near his home, so he only ended up staying a few days.

In the end, whether in-laws stay depends on you. You already did your part by letting your MIL visit on weekends, but long term just wasn't a good fit, and that's understandable. As a fellow introvert, I really hope your husband learns to see things from your perspective more.


Came across this while looking for something else.. it's been such a long time since I posted here.. I just wanted to share with you... my mil stayed with us after we had our kid... her excuse was she wanted to get away from my fil.. but that's another long story.. her excuse was to take care of my kid. But we had a maid.. In the almost 3 years she stayed with us, we changed 3 maids.. she always had issues with them. And I have a pet dog then.. and she didn't like her. She also changed my house FS, moved around the furniture, cut off the divider etc without discussing with me. I was quite upset but I just kept quiet. Some help is better than no help right. But one day, she was complaining about my dog again.. she's an MS, you know they can be barkish.. And my tone wasn't that nice.. and she was offended.. I knew cuz I can feel it.. she refused to look at me in the eye.. ignored me.. and I know in my heart.. like cham liao..
I hid in my room for the rest of the day and night while my hb's siblings visited. Then the next day at work, my hb called me and I had an inkling what it was about.
He said his mum wanted to move back to his sister's place and that she was offended with my tone. And cuz the 3rd maid was what she wanted (Myanmar maid), she will take the maid back with her to the sister's place. There was also an incident when my hb helped her move her stuff back.. she wanted to bring back ALL the stuff that she used her money to buy. I brought my kid out to the playground when they were moving and only came back when my hb msg me when they left. When I reached home, I checked her room and realized the safe was still there. In my mind, I was like, you should have moved the safe first, let her carry the safe back to the sister's place. But my hb brushed off. But when he came back after the 2nd trip, he told me he shd have moved the safe first. She said when he moved the safe over, she opened the safe and said the ang pow (for the grandpa birthday on the next day) was missing. My hb asked if it was in her purse, she insisted she put it in the safe. And kept on saying it's gone.
What was she implying? I'm not so hard-up as to steal from her. Ended up, the niece came in and asked what she was looking for.. and the girl found it in her purse.
Beginning of the year, we were talking about how the school bus driver did not want to ferry my kid anymore and we were exploring letting him take the public bus to student care himself. And then she started saying she move in with us again to take care of my kid, and asked us to get a maid. My hb (I really wanna vomit blood), said he will discuss with me first. I was like, you said this then go back tell her no then she will think it's me who rejected.. zzzzz.. I dunno men logic. My hb said it's ok.. like for real..
Sorry for my long post.. but my take is no.. your mil shd not move in with y'all now... if you have no kids yet, then there is simply no excuse for her to move in with y'all. You shd be comfortable in your own home.. and enjoy couple time before kids come along...


New Member
yes I feel u, the hub says so cause in whatever case, their own mother won't have overnight grudges but for us, it's another story already. verbally say it's ok, but deep down confirm it's think why we act or dont want them to come.


New Member
sometimes its inevitable, i wouldnt want my MIL to stay with me and my husband in future, but she is alone now. stucked in the middle