Divorce or Separation Questions - need advice

[amazingpiggy]

Don wait. Divorce or not divorce. Make a choice.

I wait and wait. See. He still go out with her.
Guys will be guys.
Make a move. Guys won't make the move one.
Normally is the woman initiate divorce, not guys

 

[infidel86]

Saw that this thread is alr sometime ago but still I hope someone can advise me. I am married to my hb for 3yrs. But I unhappy and wanted to divorce. He is nt a bad man. The problem lies with me I am the one having EMA with a guy that does not know that I am married n my hb does not know of my affair. The reason I wanted a divorce is nt cos of the new guy but for myself.
Can anyone advise me on how to initiate a divorce or separation to my hb while minimizing the hurt and how do I go abt filling for a divorce or separation if he refused. Thank you

 

[Joes]

Hi,
Can I inquire if not knowing the husband's whereabouts will it disrupt my filing of divorce
after we have signed a deed of separation and we are both separated for more than 4 years according to the paper?

Btw, I wanted to do the divorce on my own with a lawyer.

 

[wtyw]

Saw that this thread is alr sometime ago but still I hope someone can advise me. I am married to my hb for 3yrs. But I unhappy and wanted to divorce. He is nt a bad man. The problem lies with me I am the one having EMA with a guy that does not know that I am married n my hb does not know of my affair. The reason I wanted a divorce is nt cos of the new guy but for myself.
Can anyone advise me on how to initiate a divorce or separation to my hb while minimizing the hurt and how do I go abt filling for a divorce or separation if he refused. Thank you

I am exactly in your position, just that my new guy sort of knows about my hubby. Thing is it is difficult because we have a kid but our marriage has been on the rocks for a while now and he has been threatening suicide and depression every single time. It gets frustrating because right now it is taking a toll on my life as well. He verbally abused me a few times (but not physically) and he keeps on bringing up how he would not be able to live without me and refusing to let me do my own stuff without him by making me feel guilty as hell. He already will never let me go, let alone sign the DOS so could I just move out and set a date by myself? It is getting really frustrating and demoralizing to get the same reaction from him on such a constant basis.

 

[verysadguy]

Hi,
Can I inquire if not knowing the husband's whereabouts will it disrupt my filing of divorce
after we have signed a deed of separation and we are both separated for more than 4 years according to the paper?

Btw, I wanted to do the divorce on my own with a lawyer.

Yes. It would. Better to try to find him.

 

[meiji5]

Saw that this thread is alr sometime ago but still I hope someone can advise me. I am married to my hb for 3yrs. But I unhappy and wanted to divorce. He is nt a bad man. The problem lies with me I am the one having EMA with a guy that does not know that I am married n my hb does not know of my affair. The reason I wanted a divorce is nt cos of the new guy but for myself.
Can anyone advise me on how to initiate a divorce or separation to my hb while minimizing the hurt and how do I go abt filling for a divorce or separation if he refused. Thank you

If you want to divorce without both sides knowing (hb not knowing you're having an affair and bf not knowing you're married - ps. eventually, it will come out as the law will recognise you as divorced and not single), then you will have to wait 4 years for separation without consent. if that is too long, then you will have no choice but to come clean with the affair to your hb and file for a divorce by admitting that you have committed adultery. you do not need to let your bf know of the divorce but to be fair to him eventually, he would need to know the truth.

 

[meiji5]

Hi,
Can I inquire if not knowing the husband's whereabouts will it disrupt my filing of divorce
after we have signed a deed of separation and we are both separated for more than 4 years according to the paper?

Btw, I wanted to do the divorce on my own with a lawyer.

If you have signed the deed of separation, that means both consent to a divorce. So you only need to wait 3 years and then start to file for divorce.

I don't think you can sign a deed of separation with only one party, must be both parties. but if both are agreeable, you can engage your own lawyer to do up the separation deed.

 

[SadSmurfettes]

I am exactly in your position, just that my new guy sort of knows about my hubby. Thing is it is difficult because we have a kid but our marriage has been on the rocks for a while now and he has been threatening suicide and depression every single time. It gets frustrating because right now it is taking a toll on my life as well. He verbally abused me a few times (but not physically) and he keeps on bringing up how he would not be able to live without me and refusing to let me do my own stuff without him by making me feel guilty as hell. He already will never let me go, let alone sign the DOS so could I just move out and set a date by myself? It is getting really frustrating and demoralizing to get the same reaction from him on such a constant basis.

Oh dear...This is so difficult to hear and must be even harder for you to cope..

I'm sorry to hear that your husband is being so difficult..
Some people, i feel, should learn to take things in their stride.

What's gone is already gone, feelings especially so.
I cannot understand why some men feel dragging along an unhappy marriage would work.
I just DON'T UNDERSTAND their mentality.

Is your husband working or financially dependent on you?
Maybe he has certain reasons, like not being able to support your child?
Have you guys been living separately yet?

 

[newproject]

The female has a extra martial affair and she's the victim.. Poor thing...

 

[JONN]

You meant female has an extra Marital affair and husband is the victim

 

[Cath_rina]

I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?

 

[JONN]

Well, women should come clean with their extra-marital affair if they wanted a divorce. Why hide? Don't women wanted her man to come clean if they really cheated them?

 

[Cath_rina]

Well, women should come clean with their extra-marital affair if they wanted a divorce. Why hide? Don't women wanted her man to come clean if they really cheated them?

They can't blame their wives if they are useless. Why does the wife need to 'come clean'?

 

[JONN]

I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?

Cath, I don't understand what does it mean when you said your husband is useless. Does he have a job? does he pay for your expenses and other household expenses? If he does, is he still useless? It seems like you feel that he is not earning enough to support your lifestyle. In my opinion, your husband did not tell you about him being a Grab driver could be he did not want you to lower your life style or he felt you were look down on him when you came to know it. And what so disgrace of being a Grab driver, by the way? Oil and Gas industry have been down for many years. Many employees from this industry suffered job lost and many have become taxi driver , Uber driver or Grab driver. That's nothing wrong with that. It is just temporary.

In future, would your bf deem you as useless since he is rich and you only know how to spend his money? Would you change another bf again if that happens? And when would this going to stop if you keep having such thinking? Should marriage life be like that the husband has to earn enough to support the life style of the wife? Or should be the husband and the wife live life thick and thin together? Should not the husband and wife go through up hill and down hill in life toegther?

Whether you used a condom or not, you have already crossed the line, which you should not if you are still the man's wife officially. I feel that you should be fair to your husband, tell him the truth that you have a bf. That'll make your life happier in the future.

 

[meiji5]

We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating.

Having sex with someone other than your husband is cheating. Don't justify it by saying your husband is useless and you decided to hook up with this French guy who is richer. You never know if your 'bf' has someone else outside.

Could you share if you are working as well? As you only mentioned that your husband lost his job and that he can't maintain your lifestyle.

They can't blame their wives if they are useless. Why does the wife need to 'come clean'?

In your situation, why can't you come clean about your infidelity? Does your husband have someone on the side too?

 

[Infernolord]

I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?

Everything you said irked me.
Hope that you new french bf, also share the same values as you.
Slp ard cos you grow old and fat. Period

 

[ing1]

I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?

Do u guys have children?

 

[Cath_rina]

Cath, I don't understand what does it mean when you said your husband is useless. Does he have a job? does he pay for your expenses and other household expenses? If he does, is he still useless? It seems like you feel that he is not earning enough to support your lifestyle. In my opinion, your husband did not tell you about him being a Grab driver could be he did not want you to lower your life style or he felt you were look down on him when you came to know it. And what so disgrace of being a Grab driver, by the way? Oil and Gas industry have been down for many years. Many employees from this industry suffered job lost and many have become taxi driver , Uber driver or Grab driver. That's nothing wrong with that. It is just temporary.

In future, would your bf deem you as useless since he is rich and you only know how to spend his money? Would you change another bf again if that happens? And when would this going to stop if you keep having such thinking? Should marriage life be like that the husband has to earn enough to support the life style of the wife? Or should be the husband and the wife live life thick and thin together? Should not the husband and wife go through up hill and down hill in life toegther?

Whether you used a condom or not, you have already crossed the line, which you should not if you are still the man's wife officially. I feel that you should be fair to your husband, tell him the truth that you have a bf. That'll make your life happier in the future.

Hey he forced me to have a bf. So he cannot blame me. Moreover what's wrong with it when he can't even financially support the family now. He didn't even have enough to eat after paying for the bills and my needs. I noticed he skipped meals to pay for mine and maintenance for his car. How pathetic. How can he be qualified to be a husband when he Can't even afford to take care of his family? It is my right to choose again and he cannot stop me. That's disrespect to my rights. I didn't come here to be reprimanded by self righteous men who cannot see where their problems are. This is why we need the women's charter to protect our rights.

 

[Cath_rina]

Having sex with someone other than your husband is cheating. Don't justify it by saying your husband is useless and you decided to hook up with this French guy who is richer. You never know if your 'bf' has someone else outside.

Could you share if you are working as well? As you only mentioned that your husband lost his job and that he can't maintain your lifestyle.



In your situation, why can't you come clean about your infidelity? Does your husband have someone on the side too?

I doubt he has another woman. But if he does, i will make sure he pays.

 

[meiji5]

Hey he forced me to have a bf. So he cannot blame me. Moreover what's wrong with it when he can't even financially support the family now. He didn't even have enough to eat after paying for the bills and my needs. I noticed he skipped meals to pay for mine and maintenance for his car. How pathetic. How can he be qualified to be a husband when he Can't even afford to take care of his family? It is my right to choose again and he cannot stop me. That's disrespect to my rights. I didn't come here to be reprimanded by self righteous men who cannot see where their problems are. This is why we need the women's charter to protect our rights.

May I ask how do you intend to have the women's charter protect your rights? You might want to seek a lawyer for this then and the fastest way to get a divorce is by admitting adultery or if there is proof that there is unreasonable behaviour.

You have mentioned that he pays the bills, maintenance for the car and meet your needs first before himself which leaves him with no money to eat. If all financial matters are paid by him and he manages to settle all without or with little debts remaining, is this not considered as supporting the family? This is based from the details that you have provided.

I'm just wondering if there is a hidden past that you don't want to share, which is fine, that has affected your current situation.

 

[Cath_rina]

May I ask how do you intend to have the women's charter protect your rights? You might want to seek a lawyer for this then and the fastest way to get a divorce is by admitting adultery or if there is proof that there is unreasonable behaviour.

You have mentioned that he pays the bills, maintenance for the car and meet your needs first before himself which leaves him with no money to eat. If all financial matters are paid by him and he manages to settle all without or with little debts remaining, is this not considered as supporting the family? This is based from the details that you have provided.

I'm just wondering if there is a hidden past that you don't want to share, which is fine, that has affected your current situation.

Being able to pay bills are just the lowest form of responsibility he as a man should do. I can't understand what is there to talk about.

What I'm worried is that the last time he found out about my other bf, he created a scene by begging him to leave me. That's unreasonable enough. If he loves me he would've let me go without tears. I had such a hard time trying to keep my marital status from my then bf yet he ruined everything. I cannot afford to let him find out this time.

I doubt he can find anyone interested in someone like him. But trust me, i will make him pay and ruin his life making sure he can never afford anything if he dares to betray me.

I just cannot stand him anymore. He is financially unsound, unpresentable, unemployed, he doesn't meet the requirements of a husband at all. And he wasted 7 years of my youth and this is all his fault. This is unreasonable behaviour enough. I want him to compensate my youth so in fairness he needs to pay my maintenance and give up his rights to the flat. That's fair. But I'm worried he might not be able to afford so i want to know how the women's charter can help award my rights to me. Helpful answers only.

 

[meiji5]

Being able to pay bills are just the lowest form of responsibility he as a man should do. I can't understand what is there to talk about.

What I'm worried is that the last time he found out about my other bf, he created a scene by begging him to leave me. That's unreasonable enough. If he loves me he would've let me go without tears. I had such a hard time trying to keep my marital status from my then bf yet he ruined everything. I cannot afford to let him find out this time.

I doubt he can find anyone interested in someone like him. But trust me, i will make him pay and ruin his life making sure he can never afford anything if he dares to betray me.

I just cannot stand him anymore. He is financially unsound, unpresentable, unemployed, he doesn't meet the requirements of a husband at all. And he wasted 7 years of my youth and this is all his fault. This is unreasonable behaviour enough. I want him to compensate my youth so in fairness he needs to pay my maintenance and give up his rights to the flat. That's fair. But I'm worried he might not be able to afford so i want to know how the women's charter can help award my rights to me. Helpful answers only.

You would have to engage a good lawyer to fight for you. You mentioned that you previously had a bf and your husband found out. It may not look too good for you if the divorce is contested. As you said he begged your previous bf to leave you, so when it comes to divorce it could get much uglier. Best is to try to come to a mutual understanding to end the marriage, don't need to mention about 3rd parties just state that you are no longer committed to the marriage. Would suggest that you seek advice from a lawyer as we all have different experiences dealing with divorce and our own circumstances.

 

[Cath_rina]

Everything you said irked me.
Hope that you new french bf, also share the same values as you.
Slp ard cos you grow old and fat. Period

You irk me too. It doesn't matter even if I'm the one having a bf. I'm a woman and i will win in this divorce no matter what. I just want to know my options on how to make it more justifiable for me like with the woman's charter.

 

[Cath_rina]

You would have to engage a good lawyer to fight for you. You mentioned that you previously had a bf and your husband found out. It may not look too good for you if the divorce is contested. As you said he begged your previous bf to leave you, so when it comes to divorce it could get much uglier. Best is to try to come to a mutual understanding to end the marriage, don't need to mention about 3rd parties just state that you are no longer committed to the marriage. Would suggest that you seek advice from a lawyer as we all have different experiences dealing with divorce and our own circumstances.

Hey i think you don't get it. It's my right to search for my own happiness. It's his responsibility to support the family. He is now unable to support the family so he is the one who first failed to honour the marriage. He forced me to find another bf. He's the one creating the problems by not respecting my right to search for my happiness.

I want him to pay for alimony and i want the whole flat in case my relationship with my new bf don't work out, at least i get something to fall back on. Is it too much? Just focus on telling me how can i get this alimony and the flat. Can the women's charter help me?

 

[meiji5]

Hey i think you don't get it. It's my right to search for my own happiness. It's his responsibility to support the family. He is now unable to support the family so he is the one who first failed to honour the marriage. He forced me to find another bf. He's the one creating the problems by not respecting my right to search for my happiness.

I want him to pay for alimony and i want the whole flat in case my relationship with my new bf don't work out, at least i get something to fall back on. Is it too much? Just focus on telling me how can i get this alimony and the flat. Can the women's charter help me?

I can't tell you if the women's charter can help you in your case as I'm not a legal advisor/lawyer.
Hence, I still recommend that the best advice is to get from a lawyer. You may want to read up on some legal advice found at this link -
1) https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/how-does-the-court-divide-matrimonial-assets-in-a-divorce/
2) https://singaporelegaladvice.com/la...a-singaporean-woman-under-the-womens-charter/
The website has lawyers that you can approach for further advice/consultation.

 

[newproject]

This must be a troll.

But if it's real I'm waiting for Staypositive to come in and defend the girl. Lol

 

[Cath_rina]

This must be a troll.

But if it's real I'm waiting for Staypositive to come in and defend the girl. Lol

I am not a troll. It is my right to defend my rights as a woman. If you have nothing positive to add then maybe you should keep quiet.

 

[Cath_rina]

I can't tell you if the women's charter can help you in your case as I'm not a legal advisor/lawyer.
Hence, I still recommend that the best advice is to get from a lawyer. You may want to read up on some legal advice found at this link -
1) https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/how-does-the-court-divide-matrimonial-assets-in-a-divorce/
2) https://singaporelegaladvice.com/la...a-singaporean-woman-under-the-womens-charter/
The website has lawyers that you can approach for further advice/consultation.

Thank you. I will look them up. I don't want to pay legal fees. Can i get my to be ex husband to pay?

 

[newproject]

I am not a troll. It is my right to defend my rights as a woman. If you have nothing positive to add then maybe you should keep quiet.

Pretty sure you are a troll. But it will be interesting to see our resident white knight try to defend you lol.

 

[newproject]

Thank you. I will look them up. I don't want to pay legal fees. Can i get my to be ex husband to pay?

There's this regular poster who claims to be expert at helping woman doing divorce to win everything. I forgot her name though.
She says she is even better than a lawyer and has helped many woman.

Anyway someone asked if you had kids but you didn't answer. I'm assuming no.

If I were you I would go have kids then can claim child support! Even more than alimony!

And you can choose how you use the child support just use minimum for kid the rest you use to milk and enjoy life until the kid 18. Unlike alimony child support continues to be paid even if you remarry!

Extra bonus if the kid is from another guy and not your husband (better pick an Asian, French bf as father a bit obvious), then you trick your current husband to support and get Revenge for him wasting your youth.

 

[Carousell]

I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?

I read your post but I am a third party who isn't directly involved in your marriage so I won't judge. However, I hope that you can at least take a step back and look at your hubby as another human being. If you really cannot stand him anymore and don't love him anymore, of course you can choose to leave him. But maybe don't think along the lines of fighting for everything and everything must benefit you. Your soon to be ex hubby is another human who is undergoing a rough time now, losing his job and is struggling to earn enough to meet his Wife expectations. I am sure he already knows you look down on him hence he dare not inform you that he lost his job. I am sure his self esteem is the lowest right now. And sad to say (although it's better for him not to know), his Wife is cheatIng behind his back. You mentioned that you will not let him have a good time if he dares to cheat, then put yourself in his shoe, why isit that the same rule doesn't apply to you? You mentioned that you need a house to stay in case your relationship doesn't work out, then doesn't your hubby need a place to stay too?

Your hubby cannot meet your expectation, you have the right to choose your lifestyle but at least be kind to him. He is working and he pays the bills and meet your needs first before anything else, he is upset with your first affair and let go of his ego by begging the guy to leave you. If all these information provided by you is true, then I can only say this guy loves you enough to do all those even though his Wife doesn't appreciate the effort and decides to use amount of money he earns to measure how valuable he is. You have your right to divorce him but please don't abuse the women charter to take as much as possible, just ask for fairness and don't push another human being to the brink.

Anyway, your hubby cannot force you to have a bf, you decide your own actions. No one can force someone to have marital affairs so please don't blame him for your actions. And it's not fair to ask for alimony because he wasted so many of your youthful years. He also spent his youth with you, I am sure there are times he made you happy during those years and you chose him to be your hubby in the first place so you cannot just solely blame someone for wasting your youth unless he lied and gave empty promises to get you to marry him.

My point is, please be kind enough to consider his plight also when you fight for ancilliary.

 

[ing1]

I always believe what goes around comes around. It may not hit you but it may be your children in future. Moreover, you must have loved him previously else you wouldn't have married him in the first place. Be kind.

 

[Cath_rina]

I read your post but I am a third party who isn't directly involved in your marriage so I won't judge. However, I hope that you can at least take a step back and look at your hubby as another human being. If you really cannot stand him anymore and don't love him anymore, of course you can choose to leave him. But maybe don't think along the lines of fighting for everything and everything must benefit you. Your soon to be ex hubby is another human who is undergoing a rough time now, losing his job and is struggling to earn enough to meet his Wife expectations. I am sure he already knows you look down on him hence he dare not inform you that he lost his job. I am sure his self esteem is the lowest right now. And sad to say (although it's better for him not to know), his Wife is cheatIng behind his back. You mentioned that you will not let him have a good time if he dares to cheat, then put yourself in his shoe, why isit that the same rule doesn't apply to you? You mentioned that you need a house to stay in case your relationship doesn't work out, then doesn't your hubby need a place to stay too?

Your hubby cannot meet your expectation, you have the right to choose your lifestyle but at least be kind to him. He is working and he pays the bills and meet your needs first before anything else, he is upset with your first affair and let go of his ego by begging the guy to leave you. If all these information provided by you is true, then I can only say this guy loves you enough to do all those even though his Wife doesn't appreciate the effort and decides to use amount of money he earns to measure how valuable he is. You have your right to divorce him but please don't abuse the women charter to take as much as possible, just ask for fairness and don't push another human being to the brink.

Anyway, your hubby cannot force you to have a bf, you decide your own actions. No one can force someone to have marital affairs so please don't blame him for your actions. And it's not fair to ask for alimony because he wasted so many of your youthful years. He also spent his youth with you, I am sure there are times he made you happy during those years and you chose him to be your hubby in the first place so you cannot just solely blame someone for wasting your youth unless he lied and gave empty promises to get you to marry him.

My point is, please be kind enough to consider his plight also when you fight for ancilliary.

I'm just too hot for him to handle. Anyway, it is not my responsibility that he is unemployed now. It is his responsibility to get a good job. So if he can't handle the marriage then why did he propose? He proposed so It's his responsibility to take up all that comes with it. It's all his fault. The women's charter is here to defend women from such losers.

Last night we discussed about it and I have been very kind to him so i don't see any reason why i should be 'more kind'. i tried to make it easy for him by giving him the option of giving me the whole flat and an alimony of 2k a month. But he begged and cried asking me to have mercy on him he cannot afford the alimony. I have never seen someone as pathetic as him. How do you expect me to stay married to a loser like him? He can't even afford the lawyers fees and now i have to fork out the lawyers fees to divorce this useless man. Luckily we got no children. But thanks for the advise. I will get the lawyer to further advise.

 

[Carousell]

I'm just too hot for him to handle. Anyway, it is not my responsibility that he is unemployed now. It is his responsibility to get a good job. So if he can't handle the marriage then why did he propose? He proposed so It's his responsibility to take up all that comes with it. It's all his fault. The women's charter is here to defend women from such losers.

Last night we discussed about it and I have been very kind to him so i don't see any reason why i should be 'more kind'. i tried to make it easy for him by giving him the option of giving me the whole flat and an alimony of 2k a month. But he begged and cried asking me to have mercy on him he cannot afford the alimony. I have never seen someone as pathetic as him. How do you expect me to stay married to a loser like him? He can't even afford the lawyers fees and now i have to fork out the lawyers fees to divorce this useless man. Luckily we got no children. But thanks for the advise. I will get the lawyer to further advise.

Hi cath_rina,

Of course it's not your fault that he is unemployed. I m sure he proposed partly because he loves you. It takes two to get married, you mentioned that he can't handle the marriage. Do you remember yourself saying the marriage vows? Do you remember the vows:

To Bride
Will you, _________________ take this man _________________ to be your wedded husband, to live together in the ligal estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, so long as you both shall live?


We cannot just point a finger at a person for everything that goes wrong in our life. We are not perfect and everyone has flaws don't you agree? When you say he cannot handle the marriage, did you handle your marriage well? I m not judging you because I don't know your past and everything that occured in your relationship. But it's quite clear that you also didn't handle your marriage well because you didn't comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness (in this case during his down time being unemployed) and in health. You also didn't remain faithful to him.

By asking for the whole house to be given to you and alimony of 2k per month when there's no children to feed, during this time when it's clear that he cannot afford it, is not making things easier for him. Even if you do not wish to be kind to another human being, on the practical side, it's not logical to get someone to pay more than what they can afford. You can talk to the lawyer and try to use the woman charter to benefit you as much as possible but in your scenario, the judge will most likely, reject your request. There's no children involved and he is not exactly at fault (adultery or addictions) in this divorce. In most cases, the terms are 50-50. Unless he is owing you money or the house is totally paid by you, or else, it will be 50-50 if you are holding the flat under joint tenancy.

From your post, I can really sense that you despise him and even hate him (correct me if I m wrong). May I know what crime he committed that cause you to hate him this much? I always believe that we shouldn't push a person to the brink, even if you divorce him, he still needs to live right? And you are also a human being you know, there might be a time when you need someone to be kind to you when you are down or vulnerable. How can you be sure that you will always keep your job and earn this amount of money throughout your working years? How can you be sure that you will always be healthy? How can you be sure that the man you are dating currently is not a jerk or can always provide for you? How can you be sure that your future partner is better than your current hubby? I still hope that you will be fair to your hubby when it comes to divorce proceeding. You never know, maybe one day, you might need his help.

Anyway, I have read about ex hubby killing the Wife when the Wife tries to push the ex to the brink by asking for everything and he is left with nothing. Or people may sometimes commit suicide when they fall into depression and feel like life is hopeless. If there is an ending to your marriage, make it 好来好散. Save yourself some lawyer fees by setting a term that He can abide. You are still drawing an income, you are not penniless. Give him some room to start afresh. Money is important, but not till the extent that you describe. Why would you need 2k from him when there's no children to feed? I m quite sure the judge will not grant you your demands due to your hubby's current earning power. I believe you are a practical woman, so please be practical in your divorce demand.

 

[Staypositive]

This must be a troll.

But if it's real I'm waiting for Staypositive to come in and defend the girl. Lol

Newproject ,you can't even tell right from wrong.why should I defend someone who is obviously wrong?!

 

[Staypositive]

There's this regular poster who claims to be expert at helping woman doing divorce to win everything. I forgot her name though.
She says she is even better than a lawyer and has helped many woman.

Anyway someone asked if you had kids but you didn't answer. I'm assuming no.

If I were you I would go have kids then can claim child support! Even more than alimony!

And you can choose how you use the child support just use minimum for kid the rest you use to milk and enjoy life until the kid 18. Unlike alimony child support continues to be paid even if you remarry!

Extra bonus if the kid is from another guy and not your husband (better pick an Asian, French bf as father a bit obvious), then you trick your current husband to support and get Revenge for him wasting your youth.

Newproject,ur mean to give such advice.thot u should be defending and helping males?!

 

[newproject]

Newproject ,you can't even tell right from wrong.why should I defend someone who is obviously wrong?!

So you agree Cath_rina is wrong?

But how come you don't say anything?

You say I'm biased but you look at my history when the girl is a victim I have supported them.

With you, you only side the girls even when they are at fault.

But finally we have a case even you can't deny that she is wrong. And what do you do? Just keep quiet.

Most biased person by a mile.

 

[newproject]

Newproject,ur mean to give such advice.thot u should be defending and helping males?!

Actually I am starting to realize you are autistic. That was obviously sarcasm.

Only someone autistic would think I'm serious. Everyone else knew it and hence ignored the post. You know my thinking and yet thought I was serious?

This explains a lot about you actually.

 

[Staypositive]

I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?

Hey,he paid for all ur expenses even though he doesn't have much money himself and you still called him useless?where is ur conscience by the way??

 

[Staypositive]

So you agree Cath_rina is wrong?

But how come you don't say anything?

You say I'm biased but you look at my history when the girl is a victim I have supported them.

With you, you only side the girls even when they are at fault.

But finally we have a case even you can't deny that she is wrong. And what do you do? Just keep quiet.

Most biased person by a mile.

Who said I never say anything.get ur facts right before you accuse others. If you dun have anything constructive to say kindly shut ur mouth.

 

[Staypositive]

Actually I am starting to realize you are autistic. That was obviously sarcasm.

Only someone autistic would think I'm serious. Everyone else knew it and hence ignored the post. You know my thinking and yet thought I was serious?

This explains a lot about you actually.

Hahaha...it seems like ur rubbing in to other ppl troubles,crazy old man

 

[newproject]

Hey,he paid for all ur expenses even though he doesn't have much money himself and you still called him useless?where is ur conscience by the way??

For once Staypositive and I are in agreement. Hell has frozen over.

I still think this poster is trolling. It's too blatant. Zero sense of shame, absurd statements (having sex with condom equal not cheating), God like levels of entitlement, total zero awareness of how she looks.

I can imagine some girls thinking those thoughts but voicing them??

I think it's a troll trying to see how crazy she can be before even someone like Staypositive turns on her lol.

 

[Staypositive]

I have a useless husband. He does not make enough to support my lifestyle. I have told him to upgrade himself but he gave all sorts of excuses like not enough money after paying for all my expenses and the flat. Recently i met a guy at work who likes me. He's rich and he's from France. We had sex a few times but we always used a condom. So it's not exactly cheating. My useless husband just lost his job in the oil and gas sector and had been reduced to driving grab several months ago but i only found out last month when i saw him dropping a passenger near my work place. It is such a disgrace but luckily none of my colleagues know him. I want to divorce him since he is now financially unsound as I make about easily 3x more than him. But how do I get him to give me the flat? I need a place in case my relationship with my new bf doesn't work out. I also want him to pay me maintenance every month but seems like he can't afford. How can the woman's charter help me?

Seems like a woman with no sense of shame seeking advice.dumb too,to have post ur disgraceful act for all to know.women charter does not help women blindly.you said you earned triple ur husband income,do you think you are a woman in need?lol.

 

[Staypositive]

I always believe what goes around comes around. It may not hit you but it may be your children in future. Moreover, you must have loved him previously else you wouldn't have married him in the first place. Be kind.

Agree.live and let live.good for own wellbeing.

 

[Staypositive]

Hey he forced me to have a bf. So he cannot blame me. Moreover what's wrong with it when he can't even financially support the family now. He didn't even have enough to eat after paying for the bills and my needs. I noticed he skipped meals to pay for mine and maintenance for his car. How pathetic. How can he be qualified to be a husband when he Can't even afford to take care of his family? It is my right to choose again and he cannot stop me. That's disrespect to my rights. I didn't come here to be reprimanded by self righteous men who cannot see where their problems are. This is why we need the women's charter to protect our rights.

Commit adultery already still blame others for forcing her to do it.haiz.adultery is adultery,can be forced wan meh?no excuse will justify her action.blame husband becos he can no longer afford to upkeep her lifestyle and decide to look elsewhere instead.this woman obviously have major character flaws and i would say ur husband is better off without a woman like you.

 

[Staypositive]

Hey he forced me to have a bf. So he cannot blame me. Moreover what's wrong with it when he can't even financially support the family now. He didn't even have enough to eat after paying for the bills and my needs. I noticed he skipped meals to pay for mine and maintenance for his car. How pathetic. How can he be qualified to be a husband when he Can't even afford to take care of his family? It is my right to choose again and he cannot stop me. That's disrespect to my rights. I didn't come here to be reprimanded by self righteous men who cannot see where their problems are. This is why we need the women's charter to protect our rights.

Commit adultery already still blame others for forcing her to do it.haiz.adultery is adultery,can be forced wan meh?no excuse will justify her action.blame husband becos he can no longer afford to upkeep her lifestyle and decide to look elsewhere instead.this woman obviously have major character flaws and i would say ur husband is better off without a woman like you.

I'm just too hot for him to handle. Anyway, it is not my responsibility that he is unemployed now. It is his responsibility to get a good job. So if he can't handle the marriage then why did he propose? He proposed so It's his responsibility to take up all that comes with it. It's all his fault. The women's charter is here to defend women from such losers.

Last night we discussed about it and I have been very kind to him so i don't see any reason why i should be 'more kind'. i tried to make it easy for him by giving him the option of giving me the whole flat and an alimony of 2k a month. But he begged and cried asking me to have mercy on him he cannot afford the alimony. I have never seen someone as pathetic as him. How do you expect me to stay married to a loser like him? He can't even afford the lawyers fees and now i have to fork out the lawyers fees to divorce this useless man. Luckily we got no children. But thanks for the advise. I will get the lawyer to further advise.

What contributions did you made to this marriage to ask for alimony and what right when You are the one who commit adultery??you are the most disgusting woman I ever encountered.you called him a loser when he still helped you with expenses when he has little income himself. Who is the real loser here? If you think you are superior than him,then ur wrong.even if you won the so called lawsuit ur conscience will prick you .remember what goes around comes around.

 

[Staypositive]

For once Staypositive and I are in agreement. Hell has frozen over.

I still think this poster is trolling. It's too blatant. Zero sense of shame, absurd statements (having sex with condom equal not cheating), God like levels of entitlement, total zero awareness of how she looks.

I can imagine some girls thinking those thoughts but voicing them??

I think it's a troll trying to see how crazy she can be before even someone like Staypositive turns on her lol.

Erm this type of woman turns me off.arrrgh.kindly dun associate me with such woman.a total disgrace to women.Staypositive only help woman who is truly in need ok.not some loose woman.

 

[CelynJui]

Everything you said irked me.
Hope that you new french bf, also share the same values as you.
Slp ard cos you grow old and fat. Period

Come on, use your brain! **** already still got the cheek to say its not exactly cheating. You are at fault yet push the blame to your husband saying that he cant feed your lifestyle. What is wrong with being a Grab Driver? Disgrace meh? I think you find him low class as you think you yourself sibei highclass. You think your new r/s can last long? I doubt so. Women's charter dont help people like you, asking for excessive. You need a place to stay then your soon ex husband no need place to stay? Alimony 2k per month he cannot afford cos he is not earning so much, you want to force him to kill himself then you happy ah? Hope you will be guilt stricken for your lifetime.

 

[swashed]

Yea sounds like a troll who is really unhappy w women's charter and women in general

 

[4sgbrides]

trolllllllalallalalalala