Blur, I think I am exactly like you in terms of anger and being over suspicious on such things. Time to really let it go in terms of giving him the space first. Remembered my cornered cat story? Do you really want to corner your hb? By cornering him will only make him runaway and get yourself more hurt so stop the drilling now.
For going out, we really have to put status aside. Never have the mentality that man should do the first move. Man and woman...it is fair. If he distance yourself, if you really want to savage the marriage, by letting him distaning himself would it make it better? Yes, you worry rejections or maybe try to go over hold his hand and you may worry he reject you. But, remember this, this are all your assumptions. Are you going to regret not trying when the day it really fails?
To savage a marriage aside from giving some space, it also has to be gradual but not totally shut off. Take baby steps. Remember...
Also point to note, man have egos, man have pride and man have dignity...In short, MCP.
The more you push, the more cornered he is. Man are creatures that cannot express themselves until regret and dire situations, they turnaround. Some man become to expressive that ends up like stalker and too pushy in the end. There must be a balance. If this situation ever arise, this is heart over mind... So wait till all is calm. Emotional conversation cannot conclude anything.
Now is the time to give each other space. Be the gracious one to open your heart and forgive him. Let him and yourself have space to think and not a time to compete who is right and wrong... We are matured adults and not teenage years.
Giving space is a 2 edged thing. At the same time, its something needed in any relationship and conflict. Because, when there is no contact, the other party is left to guess. Sometimes, imagination can really be destructive.
I would suggest to at least communicate and agree on the time out to set the right expectation over it. People tend to treat withdrawal as an negative intention to spite or punish the partner. So, its important for both to be on the same page and understand its about rediscovering oneself rather than a cold war. It is an important assurance for the relationship.
dear Clovery, just learn to open your eye big big before stepping into a serious rs.
think with the mind logically and make sound decisions rather than with your heart.
the world has always been open, is just that ppl enjoying themselves out there will never admit to their sexual adventures openly.
inner demons are just like an idea or a thought.
An idea is like a virus, resilient, highly contagious.
The smallest seed of an idea can grow.
It can grow to define or destroy you.
Milo, on that point I have to agree. Set some expectation first. At least you do the first step to initiate this so that if it fails, you don't blame yourself for it. And, never assume during this period what the other person thinks or do, just let it go and keep an open mind. For the better or for worst.
Clovery, we are testimont to bad r/s and marriages...All parties are at fault. Never have the mentality that the other party must do everything...takes both to clap. Love can be wonderful and happy but can also be cruel.
and yeah, i like him since sam-soon days, he belongs to the rare breed of young korean actors who can actually act and handle emmotion ranges from tender to violent passion... another one that comes to mind is Jo In-sung.
Junkie, i go n check out Jo-in-sung, dunno si siang
The subtitle states "Nightclub", nvr noe it's his name *lolz*, this show is really cute, u rem the scene in the hotspring with his cousin.
When his cousin found out, he acted sissy and shyly ran into the room, so funny!
Now his style is so diff from sam-soon, tt time more beng and this show more trendy. He really dress well!
Torn, why are u still emo-ing @ hme? Tnite's ladies nite...shoo shoo...
jaycomposer, yes. I never want to experience this ever....E V E R again! Time will tell what a person I will be and what god plans for me. I have to tell myself everyday (sorry to repeat it again and again but just have to preach to myself), "To Err Is Human, To Forgive...Divine, To Let Go, You Are Almost Perfect".
I force myself day to day to keep calm. I am slowly managing my emotions though at times it still goes down south. I am human afterall, man and woman aside, ego aside, pride aside and dignity aside. Time to take baby steps and let the fundermentals cure the wounds if you get what I am saying.
You have done well, everyone manage situation differently. So long as they don't hurt themselves or go into a destructive mode, think properly and don't regret. Always remember what done is done, pointless to keep thinking over spilled milk.
Now, how you want to look at life? The cup is half empty or half full. We, being broken hearted is looking at the perspective of half empty. Make the right choices and slowly, you see that you cup is half full and waiting to be filled up again. That said, same goes to my heart... Still sad, but that's how it is meant to be.
I officially lost 2kilos... I'm lean person so losing 2kilos equates to a lot! Lol. Bones now...
Training time...aiming for a Full Marathon. Got to pace myself and schedule myself amidst the busy work... :|
Oh, lost touch with Theatre acts and stand up Comedy (local). Anyone has any idea where I can find this? Singapore Repertory Theatre? Nothing much coming up. Anyone into this do let me know updates, keen to go for a good laugh. Thanks.
jaycomposer, don't feel guilty. From your description, he is very much responsible the his current plight. He isn't a young boy. The least he should be doing is to show some effort to help himself. You don't owe him anything to need to provide him with accommodation.
I need to start my routine and my training first. I started my jog this week. Twice a week and do some good laps followed by alternate days. Tough but just got to be discipline, go back, change to running attire, time my laps and pace myself.
Too many obligations may derail my training schedule like work, then dog to take care etc. But will not find excuse anymore!
Ok guys. I making the first step to seek some help first for myself to get some advise too. My first counseling session is today. Must take the courage irregardless I am a guy or not. First step to proper healing and straighten myself first.