*Without Prejudice*
Scope guy, you seem to generalise man with your statement though I have to agree on certain points but I beg to differ on some.
You seem to sound like a lover than a high male testosterone man which you pointed out yourself. Well, you are brave to identify yourself one.
However on the contrary, I can't say you are right or you are wrong and vice versa for me or anyone for that matter. No one is the same however given that many advise out there by friends and etc, it seems to point that we end up doing what the majority is pointing us to do. A broken heart person maybe easily convinced or sway or well, to some extend but look, we have to know if we can or cannot do and take comments in a constructive way but never applied fully because no one knows except yourself what the memories are, the love he/she had and the character between the two.
It has always been a paradox when it comes to this subject and I am still trying to manage my emotions. Let me tell you that indeed it took 2 hands to clap and a marriage is about this:
- Compromise
- Proving Love and the worth to keep each other
- Understanding each other
- Forgiving and Trusting
- The most difficult one..... Patience
Only if those above can be done and achieved by 'YOURSELF' then yes, it will eventually lead to faithfulness and honesty and not the other way round. Try asking for honesty and faithfulness without doing anything, will it work? You answer this yourself.
Go ponder what I say but again, it may not be right or wrong, the answer is in your heart but that answer may not be right because given the attitude towards facing a problem and the million dollar question in Love 101 is...... Can you be forgiving and offer your patience to chase back a love you think it's worth to keep? Then define what is worth to keep yourself, this cannot be asked or advised by anyone but yourself. Remember, don't keep harping on the one mistake(s) that will make you say "this is it" and make decisions based on that...
What is worth to keep cannot be answered in a split second and what can or cannot forgive depends on individual. But a little note and the so the saying goes, to err is human and to forgive, divine. Not witholdstanding that I am asking you to be divine, but your other half may have and had made certain mistakes (given he/she was unfaithful or committed betrayal) but are you going to crucify him/her without judgment and a fair trial with time and patience for yourself included? Haven't you make or made any mistakes even if you had been faithful, a mistake is a mistake in the context of love. We aren’t talking about governing laws anymore but simply, love. Taking your other half for granted and neglect at times maybe as hurting to him/her because he/she may deem the same mentality as you as well, where has the real love gone? Then assumptions and suspicion sets in...
If no chance then why think your 1, 2, 5, 10 or even 30 years of marriage is worth it or not, just move on and if you are the latter like what I have just mentioned, then you yourself is not forgiving yourself to forgive others. Then don't blame it on the other half should the divorce goes through. Again, how you walk into a courtship took 2 hands to clap, how you walk into a marriage took 2 hands to clap, how you make or made mistakes also took 2 hands to clap and how you manage this predicament and problem also takes 2 hands to clap and if one person choose to close and end the marriage, does this constitute to taking 2 hands to end the marriage? No, unfortunately, it only took 1 to end it and not 2...
Remember, assumption and cornering each other to make a decision now will never work for either parties. It's more to it but I doubt I can finish this topic in one post so let's just look at the latter in a very open hearted way and ultimately, you got to cross your own barrier to look at love in a less haste, compassionate, gracious and passive way. Forgive yourself first before you can have faith again...
