Support group - Divorce

S

stitches

Guest
hey Strawberry,

i understand the champagne part...

going to childcare at 2 is quite ok, you may start with half day vs whole day if your mum is not comfortable. Good - kid gets to socialise (something that is not possible at home), learn things from other adults etc. Bad - pick up flu, cough etc

mine started at 18mths, cried a lot till he threw up, but eventually looked forward to going each morning. Can be a bit heart-breaking at the start to see kid crying so hard, but then when the kid stops crying.... it's kinda bittersweet...
 


W

who;s bad?

Guest
Kaya Butter, wat u want to hear? If I say the truth, u probably not able to take it.
When men strays, there's a host of reasons. Why do u need to seek an answer? And if u found the answer, are u going to seek for a solution? Yes, you can blame men for their fickleness in their hearts, but sometimes there's another side of the story. Maybe if we hear both sides of the story, faults wont entirely hinged on men.
I do know of women who pinch a loaf outside their matrimonial home. So?
BTW, the stats for divorces for 2004 is 4,000 couples. Another fact tat wasnt published, adultery caused by women is on the rise. An eye for an eye, dont u think?
 
W

who;s bad?

Guest
Kaya Butter, wat u want to hear? If I say the truth, u probably not able to take it.
When men strays, there's a host of reasons. Why do u need to seek an answer? And if u found the answer, are u going to seek for a solution? Yes, you can blame men for their fickleness in their hearts, but sometimes there's another side of the story. Maybe if we hear both sides of the story, faults wont entirely hinged on men.
I do know of women who pinch a loaf outside their matrimonial home. So?
BTW, the stats for divorces for 2004 is 4,000 couples. Another fact tat wasnt published, adultery caused by women is on the rise. An eye for an eye, dont u think?
 

awon2004

New Member
Bingo! Adultery caused by women is on the rise. No denial I am one of them. But it has been more than 3 years back. Now I am on separation and waiting for the time to sign my Petition.

There are a lot of single mothers here. You ladies are very brave.

A lof of us had gone through alot more than others even though some might be very young.

Infidelity is in everyone of us, it is a matter of respect and love for our spouse that most of us do not commit adultery.

Sometimes I really wondered like most of us, why is that we are unable to have a happy marriage like the others. Why is that we have to go through all these agony.

Nevertheless we will grow, a marriage gone sour is not only one person's fault. It always take 2 hands 2 clap, we should reflect on ourselves as well.

I am currently going through another agony which I am trying very hard to understand why am I being put through this test again by GOD.

If anyone will like to lend me his/her shoulders, I will really like to talk about it. This is too personal to share in the forum. Drop me a mail if you are willing to help me understand.

Keep it up single mums and dads, you are the greatest. Whatever is happening, is all the faults of the adults, children are innocent lives.
 

awon2004

New Member
Bingo! Adultery caused by women is on the rise. No denial I am one of them. But it has been more than 3 years back. Now I am on separation and waiting for the time to sign my Petition.

There are a lot of single mothers here. You ladies are very brave.

A lof of us had gone through alot more than others even though some might be very young.

Infidelity is in everyone of us, it is a matter of respect and love for our spouse that most of us do not commit adultery.

Sometimes I really wondered like most of us, why is that we are unable to have a happy marriage like the others. Why is that we have to go through all these agony.

Nevertheless we will grow, a marriage gone sour is not only one person's fault. It always take 2 hands 2 clap, we should reflect on ourselves as well.

I am currently going through another agony which I am trying very hard to understand why am I being put through this test again by GOD.

If anyone will like to lend me his/her shoulders, I will really like to talk about it. This is too personal to share in the forum. Drop me a mail if you are willing to help me understand.

Keep it up single mums and dads, you are the greatest. Whatever is happening, is all the faults of the adults, children are innocent lives.
 
S

stitches

Guest
Hi awon2004,

agree with you that it is a matter of respect and love for our spouse that most of us do not commit adultery :) Most don't see it that way, that they think of themselves first, the forbidden fruit that tastes sweeter, and their own needs come first before the vows that they agreed to when they first got married.

not sure if I can help.... [email protected]
 
S

stitches

Guest
Hi awon2004,

agree with you that it is a matter of respect and love for our spouse that most of us do not commit adultery :) Most don't see it that way, that they think of themselves first, the forbidden fruit that tastes sweeter, and their own needs come first before the vows that they agreed to when they first got married.

not sure if I can help.... [email protected]
 

awon2004

New Member
Most of us do not realise the meaning of the marriage vow when we ROM.

It takes a lot of experience and understanding to realise the importance and the true meaning of the marriage vow.

So maybe we should reflect on the true meaning of the marriage vow.
 

awon2004

New Member
Most of us do not realise the meaning of the marriage vow when we ROM.

It takes a lot of experience and understanding to realise the importance and the true meaning of the marriage vow.

So maybe we should reflect on the true meaning of the marriage vow.
 

hakida

New Member
awon,

Agree with you.

Infidelity is in everyone of us, it is a matter of respect and love for our spouse that most of us do not commit adultery.

So why can't married couple hold this beliefs?
The moment that they know they will be gg astray....Did they stop and think for a mintue about the consequences??
 

hakida

New Member
awon,

Agree with you.

Infidelity is in everyone of us, it is a matter of respect and love for our spouse that most of us do not commit adultery.

So why can't married couple hold this beliefs?
The moment that they know they will be gg astray....Did they stop and think for a mintue about the consequences??
 
T

tobestrong

Guest
Hi lostworld,

Please be brave. My case is worst than you and yet I can continue to lead my life.

I knew my husband for 12 years and we are in the process of filing a divorce now.

Our marriage broke down 6 months after our ROM in 1999 but we managed to save it after some talks. He earned less than me and most of the bills for the flat are paid by me. We own car too. I did the houseworks and cook him food during special occasions.

But in 2002, I noticed there is a change in him. So I asked him and he confessed to me that he is not that perfect man I used to know, in fact he has been sleeping with other women since after the 1999 case. He wanted to leave me and has even found himself a girlfriend almost immediately. I love him very much but his heartless action and thought really hurts. Luckily, at that time, there is this male friend of mine comfort me and soon we started a relationship. Who knows, my husband came back to me pestering and even threatened to commit suicide and begging me for reconciliation. My boyfriend at that time
do not wish to confuse me so he started to avoid me. ( Anywhere, we are still friends now )

As I still have feelings for my husband, I patched back with him after the 5 months separation. Everyone thought that my husband should treasure this relationship after the major change but worst things happens...

In 2004, I gave birth to a son. Thinking that our son can make the marriage stronger. One day, I check on his mobile phone and found that there is this particular message written "I miss you" from a girl so I confronted him and my husband admitted that he has slept with this China woman during his business trip for the past years. ( of course, he denied it initially even in front of my mother ). Can you imagine how hurt I am to hear all this heartless and heartbroken words from him.
 
T

tobestrong

Guest
Hi lostworld,

Please be brave. My case is worst than you and yet I can continue to lead my life.

I knew my husband for 12 years and we are in the process of filing a divorce now.

Our marriage broke down 6 months after our ROM in 1999 but we managed to save it after some talks. He earned less than me and most of the bills for the flat are paid by me. We own car too. I did the houseworks and cook him food during special occasions.

But in 2002, I noticed there is a change in him. So I asked him and he confessed to me that he is not that perfect man I used to know, in fact he has been sleeping with other women since after the 1999 case. He wanted to leave me and has even found himself a girlfriend almost immediately. I love him very much but his heartless action and thought really hurts. Luckily, at that time, there is this male friend of mine comfort me and soon we started a relationship. Who knows, my husband came back to me pestering and even threatened to commit suicide and begging me for reconciliation. My boyfriend at that time
do not wish to confuse me so he started to avoid me. ( Anywhere, we are still friends now )

As I still have feelings for my husband, I patched back with him after the 5 months separation. Everyone thought that my husband should treasure this relationship after the major change but worst things happens...

In 2004, I gave birth to a son. Thinking that our son can make the marriage stronger. One day, I check on his mobile phone and found that there is this particular message written "I miss you" from a girl so I confronted him and my husband admitted that he has slept with this China woman during his business trip for the past years. ( of course, he denied it initially even in front of my mother ). Can you imagine how hurt I am to hear all this heartless and heartbroken words from him.
 
J

juzhelpful

Guest
do not understand why guys who hurt never learnt and change. wonder how often they reflect on their behaviour.

awon2004 you may write to me if you wish to.
my email is [email protected]
 
J

juzhelpful

Guest
do not understand why guys who hurt never learnt and change. wonder how often they reflect on their behaviour.

awon2004 you may write to me if you wish to.
my email is [email protected]
 

awon2004

New Member
we cannot stereotype all guys, there are wonderful guys out there.

i have heard stories of wives leaving HB to have a better life, bringing along the children and leaving the ex-HB here alone who will b missing their children.
 

awon2004

New Member
we cannot stereotype all guys, there are wonderful guys out there.

i have heard stories of wives leaving HB to have a better life, bringing along the children and leaving the ex-HB here alone who will b missing their children.
 

not_so_easy

New Member
there are all kinds of people who have their lives to lead....to stay or to leave...there are one hundred and one reasons for them...
 

not_so_easy

New Member
there are all kinds of people who have their lives to lead....to stay or to leave...there are one hundred and one reasons for them...
 

kaya_butter

New Member
Beware all those that left their husband/wife for another woman/man, you will be thunder on somehow someday!!!

Don't ever play a woman/man feelings cos you will never know what you will get from the above in the end! But I am very sure it's going to be freaking bad ending!!! It's the matter of time!!!

WATCH IT!
 

kaya_butter

New Member
Beware all those that left their husband/wife for another woman/man, you will be thunder on somehow someday!!!

Don't ever play a woman/man feelings cos you will never know what you will get from the above in the end! But I am very sure it's going to be freaking bad ending!!! It's the matter of time!!!

WATCH IT!
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
Sorry i dont believe in retribution after what i have seen for myself. I've seen a rich man have many mistresses blatantly, and his wife even knows them! Unfortunately his wife is the dependent sort and cannot afford to divorce him, so he screws around a lot. And fact is, he has made his mistresses abort his children before, which to me is murder. He is still alive, successful, rich and powerful, and still has his way all the time. Tell me about freaking bad ending, because his teenage sons are still healthy, and he is not suffering from some terminal disease of some sort.
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
Sorry i dont believe in retribution after what i have seen for myself. I've seen a rich man have many mistresses blatantly, and his wife even knows them! Unfortunately his wife is the dependent sort and cannot afford to divorce him, so he screws around a lot. And fact is, he has made his mistresses abort his children before, which to me is murder. He is still alive, successful, rich and powerful, and still has his way all the time. Tell me about freaking bad ending, because his teenage sons are still healthy, and he is not suffering from some terminal disease of some sort.
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
Sorry i dont believe in retribution after what i have seen for myself. I've seen a rich man have many mistresses blatantly, and his wife even knows them! Unfortunately his wife is the dependent sort and cannot afford to divorce him, so he screws around a lot. And fact is, he has made his mistresses abort his children before, which to me is murder. He is still alive, successful, rich and powerful, and still has his way all the time. Tell me about freaking bad ending, because his teenage sons are still healthy, and he is not suffering from some terminal disease of some sort.
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
Sorry i dont believe in retribution after what i have seen for myself. I've seen a rich man have many mistresses blatantly, and his wife even knows them! Unfortunately his wife is the dependent sort and cannot afford to divorce him, so he screws around a lot. And fact is, he has made his mistresses abort his children before, which to me is murder. He is still alive, successful, rich and powerful, and still has his way all the time. Tell me about freaking bad ending, because his teenage sons are still healthy, and he is not suffering from some terminal disease of some sort.
 

awon2004

New Member
Hey, Ladies,

Just wanna shared with you, if you are interested maybe you can read this book "The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle". Read it with an open heart, I learnt quite a few things from there.
 

awon2004

New Member
Hey, Ladies,

Just wanna shared with you, if you are interested maybe you can read this book "The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle". Read it with an open heart, I learnt quite a few things from there.
 
J

justwait

Guest
Me2Me2, sometimes retribution may not come in the form of untimely death or loss of wealth. Retribution will come in the oddest way, a way that will make the person's heart aches. A man maybe rich, powerful, and he doesnt give a damn to love, wealth, and he may not even be afraid of death. My parents know this guy personally. He's cocky, rich and powerful. He's cruel to people, his wife, and parents. When people told him dun be so cocky, later retribution will come, he will laugh and say he's not afraid of death, die, die lo, he said. But guess wat, his soft spot is his beloved child. The baby was born with mental illness, and a bit of handicapped. It pains him to see his child like this and there's absolutely nothing he can do. Only then, he learns his lesson. U see, retribution come in diff and odd ways to deal u a blow and humble u. Diff ways work for diff people. Some is money, some parents, some chidlren, some power, etc. If u see a cruel man who deserves retribution is still smiling, full of money, power and seem to have everything, look again, perhaps in the future, he'll be reduce to a lonely old man, with no wife or family with him altho he has all the money in the world. If u dun see any retribution on him yet, that doesnt mean, there's NO retribution, it's just not the time YET.

____________________________________________
Be Kind. Be Happy.
 
J

justwait

Guest
Me2Me2, sometimes retribution may not come in the form of untimely death or loss of wealth. Retribution will come in the oddest way, a way that will make the person's heart aches. A man maybe rich, powerful, and he doesnt give a damn to love, wealth, and he may not even be afraid of death. My parents know this guy personally. He's cocky, rich and powerful. He's cruel to people, his wife, and parents. When people told him dun be so cocky, later retribution will come, he will laugh and say he's not afraid of death, die, die lo, he said. But guess wat, his soft spot is his beloved child. The baby was born with mental illness, and a bit of handicapped. It pains him to see his child like this and there's absolutely nothing he can do. Only then, he learns his lesson. U see, retribution come in diff and odd ways to deal u a blow and humble u. Diff ways work for diff people. Some is money, some parents, some chidlren, some power, etc. If u see a cruel man who deserves retribution is still smiling, full of money, power and seem to have everything, look again, perhaps in the future, he'll be reduce to a lonely old man, with no wife or family with him altho he has all the money in the world. If u dun see any retribution on him yet, that doesnt mean, there's NO retribution, it's just not the time YET.

____________________________________________
Be Kind. Be Happy.
 
S

seeking recommendations

Guest
Want to check on marriage counselling course. Anybody has any recommendations for good counsellors?
 
S

seeking recommendations

Guest
Want to check on marriage counselling course. Anybody has any recommendations for good counsellors?
 
2

2woman2

Guest
I wish I could live to "see" the retribution of what my ex and his parents have done to me. However, just like what ME2ME2 said, I don't see any of these happening. I would say then I better let go and be happy. Because all the hatre will not do any good for me. So, it's a choice.

Though I also would not want to generalize, I would say also think men never learned. It's ok to have a man as a friend, but solely friend only and not more. The brain structure is different, so somehow, they think very differently from women.
 
2

2woman2

Guest
I wish I could live to "see" the retribution of what my ex and his parents have done to me. However, just like what ME2ME2 said, I don't see any of these happening. I would say then I better let go and be happy. Because all the hatre will not do any good for me. So, it's a choice.

Though I also would not want to generalize, I would say also think men never learned. It's ok to have a man as a friend, but solely friend only and not more. The brain structure is different, so somehow, they think very differently from women.
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
dear 2woman2,

no point thinking about the pain of the past. had this ex-gf who cheated on me, and regretted later after someone else cheated on her, but time has healed all wounds and there is no turning back, even though she did hinted about getting back together a few times.

think of it this way: the best retribution for your ex is that he/she did not cherish you when you were around, so now he/she suffers in guilt and regret for losing someone as good as you.

feel good about yourself, move on with life and tell yourself that the next one will be better. you deserve better than to be treated badly.

of course, after what happened to me, i think the same way that u do now. men do think differently from women, and I do not wish to have a gf for some time. But i guess sometimes the right one may come along when you are in the recovery stage, and you turn him away. (my fren experienced this). He may not come back again, and he may have been the one for you. What then? Don't deprive yourself of the right to love just because of a jerk. life's too short to be upset everyday.
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
dear 2woman2,

no point thinking about the pain of the past. had this ex-gf who cheated on me, and regretted later after someone else cheated on her, but time has healed all wounds and there is no turning back, even though she did hinted about getting back together a few times.

think of it this way: the best retribution for your ex is that he/she did not cherish you when you were around, so now he/she suffers in guilt and regret for losing someone as good as you.

feel good about yourself, move on with life and tell yourself that the next one will be better. you deserve better than to be treated badly.

of course, after what happened to me, i think the same way that u do now. men do think differently from women, and I do not wish to have a gf for some time. But i guess sometimes the right one may come along when you are in the recovery stage, and you turn him away. (my fren experienced this). He may not come back again, and he may have been the one for you. What then? Don't deprive yourself of the right to love just because of a jerk. life's too short to be upset everyday.
 
2woman2, it is precisely that the brain structure of men and women are different that they are attracted to each other.

If everybody think like you, that man can only be a friend and not more, then human will be extinct.

But I do agree with you on the part about retribution. The GREATEST retribution that you can inflict upon you ex is to he happy and move on with life.
 
2woman2, it is precisely that the brain structure of men and women are different that they are attracted to each other.

If everybody think like you, that man can only be a friend and not more, then human will be extinct.

But I do agree with you on the part about retribution. The GREATEST retribution that you can inflict upon you ex is to he happy and move on with life.
 
2

2woman2

Guest
Thanks ME2ME2for the encouragement. I believe time will heal, but it will take longer for me because he was my husband, not just a boyfriend. Also, I've a 4 year old boy whom I hoped he grows up understanding the whole situation and forgiving me of my decision.

unwantedman33, maybe it's true the different brain structure attracts men and women. However, I think it's only true before marriage.

It's the fact that men's brain is developed to be able to do just 1 task at 1 time because yearsssss ago they only focus on hunting for food outside for the family. On the other hand, women stayed at home to take care of the household chores and kids, thus, trained to be able to multitask.

Now it's the modern world, after marriage, many men still expect wives to take care of the house the kids, AND also work to contribute to the finance of the house.

We are not superwomen. When we are busy doing all these, men accuse wives of not understanding them, thus looking for other women outside!

Or should I blame this world of being too fast a pace and stressful...?!
 
2

2woman2

Guest
Thanks ME2ME2for the encouragement. I believe time will heal, but it will take longer for me because he was my husband, not just a boyfriend. Also, I've a 4 year old boy whom I hoped he grows up understanding the whole situation and forgiving me of my decision.

unwantedman33, maybe it's true the different brain structure attracts men and women. However, I think it's only true before marriage.

It's the fact that men's brain is developed to be able to do just 1 task at 1 time because yearsssss ago they only focus on hunting for food outside for the family. On the other hand, women stayed at home to take care of the household chores and kids, thus, trained to be able to multitask.

Now it's the modern world, after marriage, many men still expect wives to take care of the house the kids, AND also work to contribute to the finance of the house.

We are not superwomen. When we are busy doing all these, men accuse wives of not understanding them, thus looking for other women outside!

Or should I blame this world of being too fast a pace and stressful...?!
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
Dear 2woman2,

I can understand ur feelings. almost married my ex gf without knowing she was a kept woman who wanted money and luxury. would have belonged to the divorced category if that had happened. I can also understand the stress that women nowadays have to go through. Its irresponsible for HBs to complain about wives not being understanding if they do not share the burden of housework, kids, finance etc. and instead spend time on their personal physical pleasures.

At least you have your child with you. Just have to make sure you impart the right values to him so that he grows to be capable of moral responsibility. I believe that you can still find someone better even with your son around. Just have to find the right one who will be responsible and willing to share his life with yours.
 
M

me 2 me 2

Guest
Dear 2woman2,

I can understand ur feelings. almost married my ex gf without knowing she was a kept woman who wanted money and luxury. would have belonged to the divorced category if that had happened. I can also understand the stress that women nowadays have to go through. Its irresponsible for HBs to complain about wives not being understanding if they do not share the burden of housework, kids, finance etc. and instead spend time on their personal physical pleasures.

At least you have your child with you. Just have to make sure you impart the right values to him so that he grows to be capable of moral responsibility. I believe that you can still find someone better even with your son around. Just have to find the right one who will be responsible and willing to share his life with yours.
 
2woman2,

I think it is too simplistic to generalize.

Although I agree that it is far easier for man to stray but does not mean that men are born to stray when they get married and woman will only stay at home and look after the kids.

with the emancipation of women and most of them now hold equally well paying jobs, most of them are financial independent and too can look for love outside the marriage.

In the groups of friends that I know who are on divorce/separation - the ratio of man vs woman who strayed and caused the marriage to break down is 60 to 40 percent. And the woman's percentage is growing...

And I speak from personal experience. I have a full-time job - a job that requires me to work very hard in the day and I bring home work to do as well. My job in the day is stressful as I have tight deadlines to meet and difficult customers and bosses to please. And when I got home, I have three kids waiting at home for me to take care - the youngest of which is only 2 years old. My wife has left me. Do you still think that only woman take care of the house and the children - I am also not a superman but I am doing all these.

Every morning I woke up at 6am to send my 2 bigger children to school and when I reach home at 7+, I will send the youngest one to play school. Fortunately I have a capable maid that help in the looking after the younger one and cooking and cleaning the house. And I don't get to sleep till well after midnight and if I am lucky, my youngest daugther will sleep soundly and not wake up in the middle of the night crying.

Now, I am doing all these and yet my wife did not see it this way and said that she is "sicked" of such a marriage life and wanted out!

Now, I am not blaming this world nor the society. Nor am I blaming that woman have different brain structures from us. This is just the world that we have to deal with.

The only difference I can see between woman and man who had failed marriage (ie their spouses betrayed them) is that woman tend to whine and complain about how and why their husband would leave them all to do all the stuff, look after the children and enjoy the company of PRC gals outside (sorry, not to generalize but quite a number of woman are like this). As for the man, like me at least, we don't complain about the other man that take away our wife, we look inside, and we move on in life silently.

Just to let you see the other side of the coin. We MAN do suffer as well but we don't complain or blame as much.

I hope people won't take this entry as generalizing. Just to offer a different view.
 
2woman2,

I think it is too simplistic to generalize.

Although I agree that it is far easier for man to stray but does not mean that men are born to stray when they get married and woman will only stay at home and look after the kids.

with the emancipation of women and most of them now hold equally well paying jobs, most of them are financial independent and too can look for love outside the marriage.

In the groups of friends that I know who are on divorce/separation - the ratio of man vs woman who strayed and caused the marriage to break down is 60 to 40 percent. And the woman's percentage is growing...

And I speak from personal experience. I have a full-time job - a job that requires me to work very hard in the day and I bring home work to do as well. My job in the day is stressful as I have tight deadlines to meet and difficult customers and bosses to please. And when I got home, I have three kids waiting at home for me to take care - the youngest of which is only 2 years old. My wife has left me. Do you still think that only woman take care of the house and the children - I am also not a superman but I am doing all these.

Every morning I woke up at 6am to send my 2 bigger children to school and when I reach home at 7+, I will send the youngest one to play school. Fortunately I have a capable maid that help in the looking after the younger one and cooking and cleaning the house. And I don't get to sleep till well after midnight and if I am lucky, my youngest daugther will sleep soundly and not wake up in the middle of the night crying.

Now, I am doing all these and yet my wife did not see it this way and said that she is "sicked" of such a marriage life and wanted out!

Now, I am not blaming this world nor the society. Nor am I blaming that woman have different brain structures from us. This is just the world that we have to deal with.

The only difference I can see between woman and man who had failed marriage (ie their spouses betrayed them) is that woman tend to whine and complain about how and why their husband would leave them all to do all the stuff, look after the children and enjoy the company of PRC gals outside (sorry, not to generalize but quite a number of woman are like this). As for the man, like me at least, we don't complain about the other man that take away our wife, we look inside, and we move on in life silently.

Just to let you see the other side of the coin. We MAN do suffer as well but we don't complain or blame as much.

I hope people won't take this entry as generalizing. Just to offer a different view.
 

adelinekhoo

New Member
Hi pple,
happy.gif
happy.gif


Saw this thread and thought of sharing my experience.

I was with my ex for abt 7 years and he cheated me twice!!!!!

The first time i found was we were together for abt 3yrs tt was when i realise tt some changes in him. Such as, he will nt allow me to check his pager or mobile and he will hide somewhere to talk discreetly. Anyway, i manage to find out his password to the voicemail for his pager and i was extremely shocked when i heard all the voicemails left by this woman who called him "Lao Gong'!!!!

Needless to say, i comfronted him and he say its this woman who refuse to let him go. He then assured me he will break free from this woman. Well, i trusted him and i really love him so much tt i dun wanna lose him. Anyway, there's more stories in between which might be too draggy. In short, he took abt 1yrs plus to break off with this woman. And during this period, he even intro this woman to me and of course i befriended her. Some of u might think i'm so silly but i really dun bear to leave him.

During the period when i knew this woman, actually she's nt tt kinda bitch who deliberately wants to come between us. In fact, its my ex who did nt told him tt he was attached. So in a way now, i knew the existence of this woman but she does nt know mine. Ignorance is a bliss to her i would say.

Eventually, i'm so tired of this whole relationship and i told my ex either he breaks off with her or i will tell her the truth. In the end, he chose to break off. But alas, tt woman actually cannot take it and committed sucide. I was so guilty but i still refuse to let go.

After this whole story, we decided to get a flat (we actually gt ROM when he was with tt woman!) and settle down. So when things started to get better, he cheated on me again. This time, he told me to give him time and he will sure come back to me. Well, after wat i went thru with him and this is wat i get in the end. I decided tt enough is enough so i decide to end this whole damn marriage.

I packed my things and moved away. I regretted doing this cause he actually bought his new love to our flat as when he like. Felt so sick. Do u guys know tt he was actually in the piece of financial debt and it was me who helped him thru. I was so stupid to use my credit card to withdraw cash advance to help him repay his debts. In the end, i lost everything and worse still, i'm still struggling with my debts now!

Anyway, as we ROM less than 2 yrs so my lawyer advise me to file annulment instead of divorce. After so many years, i finally break free from him but i'm burden with tons of debts to clear.

Well, i would say i'm happily married nw but as i was too honest and i told my present hubby abt my past so whenever we quarrel, he would remind me of e fact tt i was married before. Anyway, i will touch on my this hubby nxt time. So gers, dun be too honest ok.

Sorry guys for such a long story, i already trying to shorten liao.
 

adelinekhoo

New Member
Hi pple,
happy.gif
happy.gif


Saw this thread and thought of sharing my experience.

I was with my ex for abt 7 years and he cheated me twice!!!!!

The first time i found was we were together for abt 3yrs tt was when i realise tt some changes in him. Such as, he will nt allow me to check his pager or mobile and he will hide somewhere to talk discreetly. Anyway, i manage to find out his password to the voicemail for his pager and i was extremely shocked when i heard all the voicemails left by this woman who called him "Lao Gong'!!!!

Needless to say, i comfronted him and he say its this woman who refuse to let him go. He then assured me he will break free from this woman. Well, i trusted him and i really love him so much tt i dun wanna lose him. Anyway, there's more stories in between which might be too draggy. In short, he took abt 1yrs plus to break off with this woman. And during this period, he even intro this woman to me and of course i befriended her. Some of u might think i'm so silly but i really dun bear to leave him.

During the period when i knew this woman, actually she's nt tt kinda bitch who deliberately wants to come between us. In fact, its my ex who did nt told him tt he was attached. So in a way now, i knew the existence of this woman but she does nt know mine. Ignorance is a bliss to her i would say.

Eventually, i'm so tired of this whole relationship and i told my ex either he breaks off with her or i will tell her the truth. In the end, he chose to break off. But alas, tt woman actually cannot take it and committed sucide. I was so guilty but i still refuse to let go.

After this whole story, we decided to get a flat (we actually gt ROM when he was with tt woman!) and settle down. So when things started to get better, he cheated on me again. This time, he told me to give him time and he will sure come back to me. Well, after wat i went thru with him and this is wat i get in the end. I decided tt enough is enough so i decide to end this whole damn marriage.

I packed my things and moved away. I regretted doing this cause he actually bought his new love to our flat as when he like. Felt so sick. Do u guys know tt he was actually in the piece of financial debt and it was me who helped him thru. I was so stupid to use my credit card to withdraw cash advance to help him repay his debts. In the end, i lost everything and worse still, i'm still struggling with my debts now!

Anyway, as we ROM less than 2 yrs so my lawyer advise me to file annulment instead of divorce. After so many years, i finally break free from him but i'm burden with tons of debts to clear.

Well, i would say i'm happily married nw but as i was too honest and i told my present hubby abt my past so whenever we quarrel, he would remind me of e fact tt i was married before. Anyway, i will touch on my this hubby nxt time. So gers, dun be too honest ok.

Sorry guys for such a long story, i already trying to shorten liao.
 

dingo_beans

New Member
Met an old fren recently.

Shared with him my predicament that I have divorced our mutual friend.
Shared with him how things between me n my wife have aggravated.

In return, I was reprimanded for how I've ignored my wife's needs and that I've not cared for her feelings.
Argued that work was overwhelming then..
in return, he said that I din't set my priority right. If I love my wife deep enough,
I should have quitted and find a simpler job in HK, to be with her.
(Hey... I had so much faith in my wife. Only if I knew things would turn out this way?)

Always believe that for a marriage to fail, two parties are at fault.
Can I not be a little more understanding?
Was work that stressful for me not to share a moment with her.. n listen?
Was that little thing worth arguing upon?

Always believe that God instigated every event that has happened.
Been seeing this as a lesson from loving God. Am savoring the pain and hopefully learning and grow from it.

Reading so many postings of hatred and anguish, Complaints and fingers pointing.

The reminder from my friend was painful indeed, call it salt on the wound. But on the other hand, it's a gentle reminder from Boss upon.

Have you found yours?
 

dingo_beans

New Member
Met an old fren recently.

Shared with him my predicament that I have divorced our mutual friend.
Shared with him how things between me n my wife have aggravated.

In return, I was reprimanded for how I've ignored my wife's needs and that I've not cared for her feelings.
Argued that work was overwhelming then..
in return, he said that I din't set my priority right. If I love my wife deep enough,
I should have quitted and find a simpler job in HK, to be with her.
(Hey... I had so much faith in my wife. Only if I knew things would turn out this way?)

Always believe that for a marriage to fail, two parties are at fault.
Can I not be a little more understanding?
Was work that stressful for me not to share a moment with her.. n listen?
Was that little thing worth arguing upon?

Always believe that God instigated every event that has happened.
Been seeing this as a lesson from loving God. Am savoring the pain and hopefully learning and grow from it.

Reading so many postings of hatred and anguish, Complaints and fingers pointing.

The reminder from my friend was painful indeed, call it salt on the wound. But on the other hand, it's a gentle reminder from Boss upon.

Have you found yours?
 

enen

New Member
hi all, my HB and i had just decided to divorce last nite. reason being incompatibility. it's like an ongoing prob, and he had decided to end it while we're still young and able to rebound back fast. we're only married for near 6 mths.

it's a shock to hear that, yet i can see his point of arguement. was very very calm when talking to him. tears only flow when we talk about missing each other (we've been together for 7, almost 8 yrs now) we should had call off the wedding while we can.

had told myself never to give up, unless he had stop loving me. yes, he had, for that's the answer from him when i asked.

now my body is tired from exhuastion, yet i can't sleep. fear and shock shudder through me and i feel so numb. i do not know how to start packing for home (now staying with PIL)

like to ask the procedure for divorce, we've an EC (which we hav yet to start reno). i do not know the legal implications, or where to start. could someone advise? thanx
 

enen

New Member
hi all, my HB and i had just decided to divorce last nite. reason being incompatibility. it's like an ongoing prob, and he had decided to end it while we're still young and able to rebound back fast. we're only married for near 6 mths.

it's a shock to hear that, yet i can see his point of arguement. was very very calm when talking to him. tears only flow when we talk about missing each other (we've been together for 7, almost 8 yrs now) we should had call off the wedding while we can.

had told myself never to give up, unless he had stop loving me. yes, he had, for that's the answer from him when i asked.

now my body is tired from exhuastion, yet i can't sleep. fear and shock shudder through me and i feel so numb. i do not know how to start packing for home (now staying with PIL)

like to ask the procedure for divorce, we've an EC (which we hav yet to start reno). i do not know the legal implications, or where to start. could someone advise? thanx
 


la_la

New Member
hi enen,

sorry to hear abt that. You have tried your best and a marriage takes two hands to clap. Sometimes, letting go is better than holding on to something.

I understand the physical and mental stress you r having now. The most crucial thing now is to find someone close to confide and support u.

I assume u r going to live with your parents right, u have to break the news to them asap. And for ur in law side, it would be better get ur hb to tell them.

As for the legal procedures, u can try to get an annulment.

take care, enen
 

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