i've filed for divorce last wk after 4 yrs of marriage with a lovely daughter who'll be turning 3 this Jul. I chanced upon this site today and read most of the postings ... now i'm not so sure whether i did the right thing. Some background:
Husband & i were together for 8 yrs b4 tying knots. Shortly after wedding we have a bb girl. He told me to quit my job to take care of our precious girl. We have a maid as well & live in a F/H apt. In short, we led a fairly comfortable life. His frequent late nights were usually the cause of our arguement. He would be home passed 3am, average 2-3 times a wk, claiming he was "entertaining" his clients (presumely in nightclubs). I'm the poker-face sort who'll declare cold war whenever i was unhappy with him. Things got worse 6 months ago when we changed a new maid. Our girl refused to be taken care of by the maid, day or night. Hence i had to stay home every night cos bb sleeps at 7pm! I had literally no social life, can't even dine out cos bb will wake up several times looking for me. Husband's late nights increased to 3-4 times a wk & its common for him to be home passed 4am. In Dec last yr, he came home in the morning 6-7am on 3 occasions, each time giving me a crappy excuse. On New Year Eve I was left all alone at home after having a simple tar-pao dinner with him. He came home at 6am, claiming he played mahjiong at a mutual friend's hse!
i suspect he's having an affair but he would deny flatly everytime i question him, even challenged me to hire a PI to tail him. Everytime when i was pissed after he has a string of late nights, he would try to pacify me. But few days later, he would do it again, & again, & again ...
The last straw came during the CNY. After staying home every single night for the past 6 months, i had a night out with my sis (who lives in Aust) & BIL. Sensing I may be gg out, husband was unhappy even b4 i left hse ... kept emphasising he's only gg for a QUICK DINNER, something which i haven't heard of! B4 this, all his so-called "dinner" easily ended way passed 3-4am. Anyway, while i was having supper with sis & BIL at 12.30am, he started harassing me with calls (5 calls within 20 mins!), yelling abuses at me etc over the phone. When i went home at 1.35am, he acted like some insane men yakking non-stop & insisting that i sign on his "divorce paper" which is just a piece of A4 paper with some scribbling!! He went on his wayang show, waking my girl up & won't let her sleep, trying to ransack my bag etc. The following day i learn from my sis that he called my BIL at 2.30am hauling abuses & ridiculous accusations at him (trying to break up our family etc) for a good half hour! I told myself "That's it! No more craps from this man, i want him out of my life!"
I used his past violent records as ground for unreasonable behaviour. 3 yrs ago he assualted me during an arguement when i was 4 months pregnant, i made a police report & went to a doctor to have my injuries documented. A year ago during a late night agruement, he threatened to jump from the window, shoved, pushed & slapped me. It was so bad that neighbours alert the police. Now i'm using all these plus his frequent late nights as reasons building up to my decision to have a dicvorce.
My question now is: Am i being too harsh & impulsive in filing divorce?