"si dian jin (四点金)"

Hi wendyl,

yah i have my own hse and i bring the stuff over to my new hse after GDL.

Of course, those meant for my mum are with her. Things like the SDJ, some of the GDL from my mum is brought over to the new hse.

Dun worry too much, thing will just be fine..
 


hi all, i am preparing for my customary this Dec. Quite confused abt this SDJ - what does it comprises? I know pendant, bracelet and earrings. Is the 4th item a necklace (chain) or a ring?

Actually i am not a teochew but my mom is, so she is insisting that my pil give me SDJ. Sigh..cos I dun usually wear bracelet so it seems like a waste to get the SDJ due to my mom's insistence. Is it weird if the SDJ only consist of 2 or 3 items? Where can I get the complete set? In the jewellery shops, it seems that the items are sold ala carte.

Thanks! =)
 
Hi Meagan

The items for SDJ consist of chain, pendant, bracelet & earrings...if you don't wear bracelet, you can choose to have a bangle instead..actually there is no hard and fast rule..as long as there are 4 items, it will do..you can go to the jewellery shop and get them to match the items for you..i think this soo kee shop at city link should have those.
 
hi meagan, there are many jewellery shops that sells it in a set. pendant or necklace, earrings, ring and bracelet. that is the norm. soo kee, lee hwa, tian po, taka all have... just need to tell them you looking for a wedding set, they will know.
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you can try lee hwa in orchard emerald, look for a girl called Elsie, very sweet and patient. their 2nd level a lot of such wedding sets.
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and nowadays ppl usually buys wedding sets with diamonds, though they still call it si dian JING lah...
 
hi gals, thanks for the help. Will check out the stores this week. Hope can get one before GSS is finished (almost ending!)
 
Hi gals,

Need some advise. Will be getting married next year. M wondering for Hokkien custom, what must we(girl side) prepare for the Guo Da Li?? My mom also abit blur... For Hokkien custom, do my mil need to buy SDJ for me? My BF family is cantonese.
 
Hi, Serene!

Me also same case like you... my family Hokkien, groom side Cantonese. We also don't know what to prepare for Guo Da Li. Most probably we'll just ask the in-laws what they want us to do, hehe
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hi hi,
My mum insisted on sdj even we are not teochew cos I am the only daughter and my parent wants me to get married with items other bride got for their wedding.

Btw heard from a cantonese friend of mine saying that cantonese groom do present sdj for their custom and it is seen in cantonese movies at times.

I think most of this boils down to whether your in laws is stingy or not but most will provide if your parent insist.
 
can any tell me wat is the budget range for SDJ? can gv me a low range figure? middle range figure & a high range figure dat u hv heard some of ex-brides had b4? how is 2k? need to adjust higher or lower..
 
later reply but anways - To me,
Low figure would be $2K-$8k, mid $8-$20K, High >$20K

I just went to take a look @Soo Kee with MIL. We both fell in love with a diamond neckace (about $10K), dangling diamond earrings (about $2K), diamond bracelet (about S$4K)and ring (about $3K). prices are after their 25% + 10% discount. really nearly bot the set,and then she say better bring the finance minister (FIL) here to see hehe.. told her she can borrow for her formal dinner parties.. The only prob is I cannot wear with my EG as it is a toga so earring and bracelet will be enough.... not sure if MIL will get upset.... another bride got scolded by MIL cos the MIL bot over $50K of diamond jewellery for her and she didnt wear during dinner.
 
Hi mamakshop

Yes...MIL really very nice. I love her alot too!!! Actually sometimes, i feel quite guilty as I spend more time with her compared to my own mum... :P very bad right??

But my mum is always so sensitive when it comes to discussions I end up quarrelling with her 99% of the time......
 
Hi Goober, you're very lucky, really. Some of my friends have horrible MIL stories. You know, when I talk to mum about marriage, she sometimes shows lack of interest or brushes me off or puts me down. But I think it could be because she's just scared of losing me. Maybe yours too? I don't know
 
Hey hey!!! YA!!! I agree. Now that you mention it I think maybe its more that just the 2 of us experiencing this.

When I told mum I was getting married, she wasnt jumping with joy and I was damn puzzled. after that she started asking me to put up standing instruction for my monthly "protection money" which I usually TT to her account. On top of that, she becomes quite wierd.... sigh. She also ask - you sure you want to marry him??

I was flabergasted....
 
SDJ only for teochews? *blur*

Anyway, goober, my mum also told me this. My own "protection $" cannot let FH know, etc etc. But she nv ask if i'm sure of this marriage.
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Odd...
 
hi mamakshop,

I'm quite like in a same situation as you. My mom did not even ask a single question of my marriage!!! When I told her when to meet up to discuss with my FILs, about roughly how many tables she need so that we can book the banquet, she asked answer my questions and nothing else. Sometime, wondering am I her daughter.

Hi an_qi,
yes, Si Dian Ji is for teochews.
 
Hi,

My MIL say she won't buy Si Dian Jin for me. Actually, I'm Hokkien, my hubby is Teochew. So is it necessary to have Si Dian Jin?

My MIL say she will give me Ang Bao instead. Can I keep the money since I don't like jewelry?
 
Hi Jas, aiyah don't think so much la. I think mums really feel like they're losing their daughters lor. What's that phrase about married daughters being like poured out water or something? My mum sometimes pretend to avoid me in the house cos she know I going to ask her about marriage stuff. Quite funny. Hehe.
 
Hi mamakshop,
yah - and my mum is acting funni too....

Apple - SDJ is a tradition. you might want to sound your mom out that she is ok with the SDJ being replaced by Ang Pow. The SDJ is actually for Guo Da Li which is the day your PIL pass over the SDJ to your family. so the SDJ usually is quite pricey - as the purpose is for your mom so show off to relatives that her daughter married well. Also to show that your PIL are generous
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hi jak,

it depend on indidivual. For me, my FMIL ask me to follow her, I choose and she pay.

For my sister, her MIL gave her ang bao and she go and buy herself.
 
hey goober,

U can still wear them for ur WG since u are not wearing them for ur EG....

50k of jewellery,that's why she dun dare to wear on her wedding day mah......The jewellery will snatch away her limelight mah....
 
hi twiggy, PIL very nice folks. I love them alot !FH bot something I always wanted so I'm quite happy... hehe... wearing it everyday to work.

Hakida,I will wear the necklace with the WG and the dangling earrings with my toga styled EG.
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Hi,

Do you girls prefer "Si Dian Jin" or "Si Dian Zuan" if you were to choose from it...Actually think that "Si Dian Jin" goes well with "kua" although "Si Dian Zuan" looks nicer...Any comments???
 
it actually depends on ur MIL. if she wants to give u "si dian jin", then u'll have to accept it. unless she lets u choose, then maybe u can let her know which u prefer.

for my case, my owm mum bought me "si dian zhuan". n my MIL is more open-minded. she lets me choose whether i wan the "si dian jin", or if not, she'll juz put the money as ang bao for me.
 
it actually depends on ur MIL. if she wants to give u "si dian jin", then u'll have to accept it. unless she lets u choose, then maybe u can let her know which u prefer.

for my case, my mum bought me "si dian zhuan". n my MIL is more open-minded. she lets me choose whether i wan the "si dian jin", or if not, she'll juz put the money as ang bao for me.
 
Wondering if u gals still reads the thread. I have the same similar situation as some of u gals here. My own family doesnt give a damn abt my marriage ... and also ask me if i really wanna marry this guy... and also abt the mthly allowance..ask me to increase some more! Days when i go to my FH place to stay overnight, the only thing they ask is if they got ill treat me or not... i felt i feel more ill treated over at my own place loh... sigh
 
hi ladies,

For SDJ, I managed to persuade my mom to give me a watch (she gave me $ and I topped up...). I don't wear much jewellery so wanted something practical for work in the future. Also, my FMIL is apparently bringing some heirloom that my FH inherited from his grandma.

Question is, I've never seen any bride wear a watch on their AD or tea ceremony... Do you think my mom will be upset if I wore all/some of my FMIL's jewelry but not the watch she gave me? Also, after I bought it, realised some ppl v pan-tang but it's just clocks (coz sound like so-zhong)and not watches, right? Shd I care? I am Teochew but my mom is v bo-chap one. In fact she insisted i don't wear gold jewelry coz she said v old-fashioned!
 
Hi chicklet, based on what I understand, you're supposed to wear your FMIL's jewellery on the AD anyway. So shouldn't be a problem not to wear your mum's.
 
hi,

anyone knows where i can buy nice jewellery box for SDJ? the one jewellery shop gave us, my FMIL says not nice....
pls help... tks!
 
hie ladies,

can anyone tell me if FMIL giev si dian jin is based on my or her dialect grp? coz my Fh is teochew and i am cantonese..so should my FMIL give me si dian jin or the long feng zuo?
 
For "Si Dian Jin", is it necessary to be gold. Find that very old fashion. If my MIL giving me yellow gold "Si Dian Jin" how huh? I don't want to hurt her feeling.
 
hi Kitty,
I think its up to individual. Ask your hubby talk nicely to your MIL that you dun really wear yellow gold. My MIL allow me to choose what I want. My own mother say she want to buy yellow gold for me cos more valuable. I also never wear yellow gold now. If buy for me, I sure keep inside the bank deposit box.
 
<font color="aa00aa">hey dear,

ur si dian jin similar like mine leh. so qiao! keke...i bought mine frm pohheng.</font>
 
Hi can anyone advise me? My hubby is Teo-chew &amp; I am hokkien, according to my MIL she will not be giving me SDJ she told me that it the traditional of Teo-chew custom. However my mum &amp; all my relative don't buy her. Due to this "traditional" it affects &amp; strain our relationship between hubby, me &amp; Mil.
 
Hi Aerdna,

Maybe its really Teochew culture that your MIL dun need to buy SDJ for you. A lady friend married into a Teochew family &amp; she didnt have SDJ. Maybe can ask your hubby to buy for you.

Try not to let this matter affects the relationship cos you get to see her everytime.
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Hi can someone advise me where to buy gold? I heard that gold prices are really high for this year.

Trying to shop some gold with my hubby but not sure where's a good place to buy. If you are experienced, please share. Thanks!
 


Haiz,
I dont even know how mine looks like, only know my MIL already bought them few yrs back. Way before i even got to know him.
 
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