"si dian jin (四点金)"
- Thread starter moon
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S
shlow
Guest
Tiffany also has GIA certified diamond rings too. but a little pricey though....
Hi!
my wedding is on 11 Jan 03 and when should I held my "Guo Da Li". I don't have any jewellery and I don't like to wear 916 gold jewellery. My mother tells me that for my si dian jin must buy 916 gold jewellery and don't buy those white gold jewellery. Because white gold jewellery are not valuable. Between white gold and plantium which one is the better quality?
My Wedding will be helding at the Church. I don't know what type of songs are situated for Church Wedding. Would anyone please give me an advise!!!
my wedding is on 11 Jan 03 and when should I held my "Guo Da Li". I don't have any jewellery and I don't like to wear 916 gold jewellery. My mother tells me that for my si dian jin must buy 916 gold jewellery and don't buy those white gold jewellery. Because white gold jewellery are not valuable. Between white gold and plantium which one is the better quality?
My Wedding will be helding at the Church. I don't know what type of songs are situated for Church Wedding. Would anyone please give me an advise!!!
D
ding dang
Guest
Hi Yvonneun,
a lot of ppl r turning to white gold & platinum. Maybe u can pyshco ur mum a bit lor. It's no point buying 916 where u dun wear & need to keep in the bank's safety box. Morever I dun think we will ever come to the point where u need to sell them so value here dun really matters. I would prefer to buy something that I can wear. My MIL also realised that youngsters nowadays dun wear yellow gold, so she gave me the choice to choose white gold or silver.
As for Guo Da Li, I think the norm is 2 wks b4 actual day but now ppl do it ealier. I'm doing it one mth earlier. Maybe u can check with the old folks at home. Sometimes they dun allow it to be too early.
a lot of ppl r turning to white gold & platinum. Maybe u can pyshco ur mum a bit lor. It's no point buying 916 where u dun wear & need to keep in the bank's safety box. Morever I dun think we will ever come to the point where u need to sell them so value here dun really matters. I would prefer to buy something that I can wear. My MIL also realised that youngsters nowadays dun wear yellow gold, so she gave me the choice to choose white gold or silver.
As for Guo Da Li, I think the norm is 2 wks b4 actual day but now ppl do it ealier. I'm doing it one mth earlier. Maybe u can check with the old folks at home. Sometimes they dun allow it to be too early.
<FONT COLOR="aa00aa">Yvonneun</FONT>
i guess the elderly dun like to give us white gold cos in dialect "pek kim" sounds similar to the money we give to the deceased family when we attend the wake. so they see it as an inauspicious item.
me, too, trying to persuade my mum to buy me white gold if she's getting me any jewellery..
i guess the elderly dun like to give us white gold cos in dialect "pek kim" sounds similar to the money we give to the deceased family when we attend the wake. so they see it as an inauspicious item.
me, too, trying to persuade my mum to buy me white gold if she's getting me any jewellery..
Yvonneun,
Maybe u can purchase the white gold and get the shop to plate it into 18K yellow gold just for the wedding? After the wedding, you can bring back to the shop and get them to remove the 18K yellow gold plating.
This is what I did for my si dian jin and the shop did it for me FOC.
Maybe u can purchase the white gold and get the shop to plate it into 18K yellow gold just for the wedding? After the wedding, you can bring back to the shop and get them to remove the 18K yellow gold plating.
This is what I did for my si dian jin and the shop did it for me FOC.
Hi mint.
I got mine from Taka, the one at Bugis Village. If u dun mind simple designs, you can yours from there. Mine were all simple solitare design. The saleperson there were very friendly and they even help u to select diamonds. I also got my bracelet plated at Tianpo at no charge, but not sure they will do for all customer cos I knew a saleperson there.
Understand Lee Hwa also provide free plating.
I got mine from Taka, the one at Bugis Village. If u dun mind simple designs, you can yours from there. Mine were all simple solitare design. The saleperson there were very friendly and they even help u to select diamonds. I also got my bracelet plated at Tianpo at no charge, but not sure they will do for all customer cos I knew a saleperson there.
Understand Lee Hwa also provide free plating.
Hi..
My MIL is giving me quite 3 chunky really yellow gold pieces for the 'si dian jin'. But I'll get to choose a pair of earrings. The thing is the 3 pieces are really not very nice, I wouldn't dream of wearing them, and they wouldn't go with the new pair of earrings (haven't chosen yet).
Was wondering if i could bring the 3 pieces to the goldsmith and exchange it with another 3 pieces of the same value? and it will look more modern. Do you know if they do that?
My MIL is giving me quite 3 chunky really yellow gold pieces for the 'si dian jin'. But I'll get to choose a pair of earrings. The thing is the 3 pieces are really not very nice, I wouldn't dream of wearing them, and they wouldn't go with the new pair of earrings (haven't chosen yet).
Was wondering if i could bring the 3 pieces to the goldsmith and exchange it with another 3 pieces of the same value? and it will look more modern. Do you know if they do that?
<FONT COLOR="aa00aa">Tigerlily</FONT>
usu. the jewellery shops will buy back ur gold jewellery at a certain perventage of the current gold price.
<FONT COLOR="119911">e.g. if the current gold price is $20 per gram and ur gold weighs 30g, then they'll prob pay ($20 x 30g) x 80% = $480</FONT>
the % may varies from shop to shop, so it's better to check it out...
usu. the jewellery shops will buy back ur gold jewellery at a certain perventage of the current gold price.
<FONT COLOR="119911">e.g. if the current gold price is $20 per gram and ur gold weighs 30g, then they'll prob pay ($20 x 30g) x 80% = $480</FONT>
the % may varies from shop to shop, so it's better to check it out...
If I were to do this, should I do it before or after my wedding? Would love to do it before so I can wear... but do you think my MIL will be offended??
Anyone used Poh Heng? Any comments on them? Walked pass their shop the other day and found that they've got pretty modern stuff too.
Anyone used Poh Heng? Any comments on them? Walked pass their shop the other day and found that they've got pretty modern stuff too.
B
blur queen
Guest
Hi All,
I am a bit confused by this "si dian jin" actually. My mom said if the guy's side is Teochew then they will have to give us. But then some pple said that in-laws will only give if the girl is a "Teochew". So who is right?
Also, when is this "si dian jin" given? During wedding or before? My in-law asked me to go buy what I like coz they know I dun like yellow gold but they have a budget of 2K. My MIL said that will be a gift from them to me. Actually, I also very pai sey to take. My future FIL is a retiree and MIL is a housewife, so I thought not very nice to let them spend. My mom said that is already a "si-dian jin" but instead of them buying for me, they give me the $ to buy myself.
Should I fully utilize the 2K or do they only expect me to buy moderately? Very likely I will spend on white gold jewellery with diamond, max. 1 piece.
I am a bit confused by this "si dian jin" actually. My mom said if the guy's side is Teochew then they will have to give us. But then some pple said that in-laws will only give if the girl is a "Teochew". So who is right?
Also, when is this "si dian jin" given? During wedding or before? My in-law asked me to go buy what I like coz they know I dun like yellow gold but they have a budget of 2K. My MIL said that will be a gift from them to me. Actually, I also very pai sey to take. My future FIL is a retiree and MIL is a housewife, so I thought not very nice to let them spend. My mom said that is already a "si-dian jin" but instead of them buying for me, they give me the $ to buy myself.
Should I fully utilize the 2K or do they only expect me to buy moderately? Very likely I will spend on white gold jewellery with diamond, max. 1 piece.
hi Blur Queen...
Traditionally, it's a teochew thing. But basically this... regardless of whether teochew or not, if the girl side asks for "si dian jin", the guy side must give. sometimes, guy side will want to give "si dian jin" even if girl side don't ask - which i think is what your MIL is doing.
The "si dian jin" is given before the wedding when you exchange with he rest of the gifts. It's really great that your MIL is allowing you to choose the jewellery. At least then you can pick something you like. If your MIL give, must take. Means that she likes you.
After you've chosen it, you can ask the shop to pack it nicely for you in the "si dian jin" packing. then on the wedding gift exchange day, add that to the items. And then you can wear the jewellery on the day of your wedding (normally with the kwa if you have).
The $2K is for you to spend. You should maximise it to buy the 4 pcs, at least then your MIL feels that it's worth it. After all it's "SI" dian jin.
To them makes no diff if it's 1 pcs and it's very expensive diamond.. it's still only 1 pc.
Hope it helps.
Traditionally, it's a teochew thing. But basically this... regardless of whether teochew or not, if the girl side asks for "si dian jin", the guy side must give. sometimes, guy side will want to give "si dian jin" even if girl side don't ask - which i think is what your MIL is doing.
The "si dian jin" is given before the wedding when you exchange with he rest of the gifts. It's really great that your MIL is allowing you to choose the jewellery. At least then you can pick something you like. If your MIL give, must take. Means that she likes you.
After you've chosen it, you can ask the shop to pack it nicely for you in the "si dian jin" packing. then on the wedding gift exchange day, add that to the items. And then you can wear the jewellery on the day of your wedding (normally with the kwa if you have).
The $2K is for you to spend. You should maximise it to buy the 4 pcs, at least then your MIL feels that it's worth it. After all it's "SI" dian jin.
To them makes no diff if it's 1 pcs and it's very expensive diamond.. it's still only 1 pc.
Hope it helps.
L
lost bride
Guest
Gals,
I have a problem..my FH is proposing that we give 10 tables to my mum but collect back all the ang-paos at the end of the day and to "repay" back my parents, he will give a reasonable pinjing amount of abt 5-6K. Has anyone done it before? I have never heard of anyone doing that so far and am quite lost when it comes to stuff like this!?!
I have a problem..my FH is proposing that we give 10 tables to my mum but collect back all the ang-paos at the end of the day and to "repay" back my parents, he will give a reasonable pinjing amount of abt 5-6K. Has anyone done it before? I have never heard of anyone doing that so far and am quite lost when it comes to stuff like this!?!
<FONT COLOR="aa00aa">LostBride</FONT>
nowadays, everything is negotiable.. but MUST discuss with ur parents. if they're ok with the proposal, then it's ok...
for my case, i've told my mum that we'll be keeping the angpows collected from the tables we give them, only to return if we make profit... (cos the banquet is paid by hubby & me, and we on very tight budget cos still need to buy resale flat) and my mum is ok with the idea... pin-jing wise, she's reasonable enuff to say she'll take a small token, enuff to cover for the misc stuff she has to buy for me...
nowadays, everything is negotiable.. but MUST discuss with ur parents. if they're ok with the proposal, then it's ok...
for my case, i've told my mum that we'll be keeping the angpows collected from the tables we give them, only to return if we make profit... (cos the banquet is paid by hubby & me, and we on very tight budget cos still need to buy resale flat) and my mum is ok with the idea... pin-jing wise, she's reasonable enuff to say she'll take a small token, enuff to cover for the misc stuff she has to buy for me...
T
two cents
Guest
hi,
if you're saying that you give the bride's parents x number of tables, frm what i understood is that the ang pows for that x table are kept by the bride's parents. so in other words, say, if the table cost 1000 per table, and you give 10 tables to her parents, you upfront already "lose" 10000. that is not recoverable.
if you're saying that you give the bride's parents x number of tables, frm what i understood is that the ang pows for that x table are kept by the bride's parents. so in other words, say, if the table cost 1000 per table, and you give 10 tables to her parents, you upfront already "lose" 10000. that is not recoverable.
L
lost bride
Guest
Hi all,
thanks for all yr invaluable inputs! I appreciate it!
Linda: I think my FH will be running at a 'loss' instead of saving money because my relatives are not big givers so we may end up with losses for those 10 tables. In fact, I think my mum will emerge the winner since she gets the full $6K instead. So how? me lost again....=(
thanks for all yr invaluable inputs! I appreciate it!
Linda: I think my FH will be running at a 'loss' instead of saving money because my relatives are not big givers so we may end up with losses for those 10 tables. In fact, I think my mum will emerge the winner since she gets the full $6K instead. So how? me lost again....=(
Hi Lost Bride,
It is 'customary' that the bride's side takes all the ang bao. BUT afterall, it is the bride's mom who decides how much of the ang bao to take. In some cases the bride's mom just takes abt $500 as an "yi si" (gesture) and returns the rest to the bride/groom.
Same thing like the dowry. The groom will give the dowry, then the bride's mother will take some and return the rest. It is up to the bride's mother how much she wants to take. So even if your hubby gives $5K, your mom may be very generous and takes only $200??
It is 'customary' that the bride's side takes all the ang bao. BUT afterall, it is the bride's mom who decides how much of the ang bao to take. In some cases the bride's mom just takes abt $500 as an "yi si" (gesture) and returns the rest to the bride/groom.
Same thing like the dowry. The groom will give the dowry, then the bride's mother will take some and return the rest. It is up to the bride's mother how much she wants to take. So even if your hubby gives $5K, your mom may be very generous and takes only $200??
hihi...
it seems tt majority of u out there r q lucky to have "understanding'mums
for my case,when i told my mum abt my wedding, she immediately told me tt she wanted at least 8 tables(i only plan for a total of 15 tables)..i felt q upset cos she also told me tt she will keep all "ang baos" from tt 8 tables(not giving me) n recently she insisted on wanting the "si dian jin"(we r not teochew)from my ILs...by the way i only have a MIL(a hawker)n i have witness how difficult it is for her to fork out so much..she had just bought for me a set of jewellery worth abt$3k..i feel really "pia sek" n when i told my mum abt not asking so much from her cos MIL is alone n doesnt earn much,my mum scolded me for "bending my fingers out not in"..have been very disturb by all this n had been crying also...i m very scared n m very pressurised abt the thot of "guo da li"...recently my mum also hinted to me tt she may want more tables...how????!!!!!
i m really very upset by all this...thot shld be MIL who is unreasonable but now its my own mum who is not understanding....
...sob...sob
it seems tt majority of u out there r q lucky to have "understanding'mums
for my case,when i told my mum abt my wedding, she immediately told me tt she wanted at least 8 tables(i only plan for a total of 15 tables)..i felt q upset cos she also told me tt she will keep all "ang baos" from tt 8 tables(not giving me) n recently she insisted on wanting the "si dian jin"(we r not teochew)from my ILs...by the way i only have a MIL(a hawker)n i have witness how difficult it is for her to fork out so much..she had just bought for me a set of jewellery worth abt$3k..i feel really "pia sek" n when i told my mum abt not asking so much from her cos MIL is alone n doesnt earn much,my mum scolded me for "bending my fingers out not in"..have been very disturb by all this n had been crying also...i m very scared n m very pressurised abt the thot of "guo da li"...recently my mum also hinted to me tt she may want more tables...how????!!!!!
i m really very upset by all this...thot shld be MIL who is unreasonable but now its my own mum who is not understanding....
Hi Highness,
I think that you should have a talk with your mum. All mum loves their kid.
Why don't you ask her if she cares about your happiness?
Tell her that your husband is also not so well to do. Hope she can understand. I'm sure she wouldn't want the relationship to turn sour and risk losing a daughter and son-in-law.
My mum's parent-in-law did not treat my mum well as my mum's parent sort of demanded a lot from the in-laws. (Talk about the old days)
Thus, my mum was very understanding to me. She only asked for Pinjin (prob about 1-2K) and she told me that I can keep the AngBao from the banquet. She knows that my husband is paying for everything. I guess sometimes, it depends on the tradition and belief of the family.
I think that you should have a talk with your mum. All mum loves their kid.
Why don't you ask her if she cares about your happiness?
Tell her that your husband is also not so well to do. Hope she can understand. I'm sure she wouldn't want the relationship to turn sour and risk losing a daughter and son-in-law.
My mum's parent-in-law did not treat my mum well as my mum's parent sort of demanded a lot from the in-laws. (Talk about the old days)
Thus, my mum was very understanding to me. She only asked for Pinjin (prob about 1-2K) and she told me that I can keep the AngBao from the banquet. She knows that my husband is paying for everything. I guess sometimes, it depends on the tradition and belief of the family.
Hi Highness,
So poor thing...
I also think that you should talk to your mother. Would be difficult, but I think you have to do it.
My friend's MIL over requested for tables and finally they actually had 5 unused tables that had to be paid for! It was such a waste.
Why don't you use the $3K jewellery use as "si dian jin"?
So poor thing...
I also think that you should talk to your mother. Would be difficult, but I think you have to do it.
My friend's MIL over requested for tables and finally they actually had 5 unused tables that had to be paid for! It was such a waste.
Why don't you use the $3K jewellery use as "si dian jin"?
.......
really dun know wat to say to u gals out there..guess thank u is all i can say now.
tink i will "skin thick thick" talk to her abt it...actually she had mentioned to me B4 tt since both my sis n cousin(both ILs r q well to do)have all those items n things given during the "guo da li", y shldnt i follow suit??
nevertheless,i will still give it my "best" shot..the most,dun marry lor(may sound impulsive but had been thinking of it since the wedding makes both me n my dear unhappy)..its such a burden.....
arent wedding supposed to be a happy occasion?
really dun know wat to say to u gals out there..guess thank u is all i can say now.
tink i will "skin thick thick" talk to her abt it...actually she had mentioned to me B4 tt since both my sis n cousin(both ILs r q well to do)have all those items n things given during the "guo da li", y shldnt i follow suit??
nevertheless,i will still give it my "best" shot..the most,dun marry lor(may sound impulsive but had been thinking of it since the wedding makes both me n my dear unhappy)..its such a burden.....
arent wedding supposed to be a happy occasion?
E
e
Guest
Hi Highness
I was in the same situation as you, and to add on,
my MIL is not intending to give me any jewellery at all and she has not given me any before that, unlike yours which has given you a set worth 3K.
I had countless arguments with her and cried umpteen times. My advice to you is that you have to be firm with your mother, and be 'fierce'. Let her know that you are not going to let all her unreasonable request ruin your wedding and marriage. Show her that if she really wanted gold and jewellery, tell her that it will be very hard on your future MIL who is a hawker and tell her if she thinks that this is right. I told my mom that we should be happy that they are giving us whatever they can afford to the best they can, and not compare to someone else. If she still doesn't get it, tell her that ok lor, you ask your hubby go borrow money to pay for everything she ask for, and then after the wedding both of you got to 'suffer' because your husband got to pay loans and pay this and that and thus cannot afford other luxuries for you AFTER marriage .. I'm sure your mom's heart will soften because she will also worry for you after your wedding and wants you to have a good life. Believe me, no matter how harsh mother's words are, i believe deep down inside they still love you and want you to have a good life with your partner so just remember that.
I was in the same situation as you, and to add on,
my MIL is not intending to give me any jewellery at all and she has not given me any before that, unlike yours which has given you a set worth 3K.
I had countless arguments with her and cried umpteen times. My advice to you is that you have to be firm with your mother, and be 'fierce'. Let her know that you are not going to let all her unreasonable request ruin your wedding and marriage. Show her that if she really wanted gold and jewellery, tell her that it will be very hard on your future MIL who is a hawker and tell her if she thinks that this is right. I told my mom that we should be happy that they are giving us whatever they can afford to the best they can, and not compare to someone else. If she still doesn't get it, tell her that ok lor, you ask your hubby go borrow money to pay for everything she ask for, and then after the wedding both of you got to 'suffer' because your husband got to pay loans and pay this and that and thus cannot afford other luxuries for you AFTER marriage .. I'm sure your mom's heart will soften because she will also worry for you after your wedding and wants you to have a good life. Believe me, no matter how harsh mother's words are, i believe deep down inside they still love you and want you to have a good life with your partner so just remember that.
S
sdj
Guest
hi gals,
recently, I was asked to choose my own "si dian jin" with no budget, and when we all went down to the shop, my "si dian jin" ended up abt 4K. Is that too much??? It was a set consisting of whitegold bracelet(most ex item), ring, earring & necklace. Actually, I'm not sure what's the market rate like these days, my ILs just told me to make sure that I like the jewellery and wear them often enough. They are quite well to do. Nevertheless, I hope I didn't go overboard in getting a set costing 4K
feel so bad...
recently, I was asked to choose my own "si dian jin" with no budget, and when we all went down to the shop, my "si dian jin" ended up abt 4K. Is that too much??? It was a set consisting of whitegold bracelet(most ex item), ring, earring & necklace. Actually, I'm not sure what's the market rate like these days, my ILs just told me to make sure that I like the jewellery and wear them often enough. They are quite well to do. Nevertheless, I hope I didn't go overboard in getting a set costing 4K
K
kk
Guest
sdj,
Dun worry. $4K isn't much. Recently i got myself a white gold necklace and bracelet with diamonds on them and already cost around $3750, close to $4K liao.
I have an ex-neighbour whose mil actually gave her $5K and ask her to get jewellery she want. So she almost spend all.. heee...
Dun worry. $4K isn't much. Recently i got myself a white gold necklace and bracelet with diamonds on them and already cost around $3750, close to $4K liao.
I have an ex-neighbour whose mil actually gave her $5K and ask her to get jewellery she want. So she almost spend all.. heee...
S
sdj
Guest
kk,
thanks for your reassurance
now I don't feel so bad...hehe
Was feeling bad coz i know of friends who had a budget of abt 3K and they had to top up, while me here just chose what I liked and ILs willingly paid for them and said no budget. Thank God I have nice ILs, it makes me appreciate them more
So did u get earrings and ring as well? I guess your wedding is coming soon too? well...congrats and happy planning
thanks for your reassurance
Was feeling bad coz i know of friends who had a budget of abt 3K and they had to top up, while me here just chose what I liked and ILs willingly paid for them and said no budget. Thank God I have nice ILs, it makes me appreciate them more
So did u get earrings and ring as well? I guess your wedding is coming soon too? well...congrats and happy planning
K
kk
Guest
Sdj,
Hmm..i dun think i will get earrings coz i dun wear them (i dun have "ear holes".. heeee) and i dun think i will be getting a ring as my mum say i already got a ring.. heee..if i want to get, i will probably get a cheaper one for show only.. heeee...
Me and my hubby just got ROM last month and our customary will be next year end.
Haa...u must be saying that i am very kiasu rite?
Actually next year 5% GST, so everything will cost more. Moreover, sometimes may be difficult to get the design i want. So since i have spotted the designs i like now, i might as well get it and reserve it for next year
Hmm..i dun think i will get earrings coz i dun wear them (i dun have "ear holes".. heeee) and i dun think i will be getting a ring as my mum say i already got a ring.. heee..if i want to get, i will probably get a cheaper one for show only.. heeee...
Me and my hubby just got ROM last month and our customary will be next year end.
Haa...u must be saying that i am very kiasu rite?
Actually next year 5% GST, so everything will cost more. Moreover, sometimes may be difficult to get the design i want. So since i have spotted the designs i like now, i might as well get it and reserve it for next year
G
gyre
Guest
hi
may i ask them to give me cash for keeping? i don't wear jewellery and don't like to. i only wear a simple diamond ring.
may i ask them to give me cash for keeping? i don't wear jewellery and don't like to. i only wear a simple diamond ring.
S
sdj
Guest
hi kk,
yah...next year won't be such a good idea to buy stuff as prices will increase due to the GST. Happy for u that u've gotten the design u like
since u will be the one wearing it anyway
hi gyre,
err...unless u and your ILs are VERY VERY VERY close, otherwise, personally, i don't think it sounds too nice to ask for cash. Well, I guess it really depends on your ILs as well, like what kind of people are they, whether they are traditional kind who want some face type, or are they the modern practical understanding types who would think that cash will tide u through the wedding. In any case, if u prefer cash, don't ask for it yourself. The best is to get your hubby to test waters, maybe by asking casually and see what's your IL's reaction, that would give u a BIG clue as to whether they would be willing to give $$$...coz giving jewellery to the DIL has some meaning to it, tho I'm not sure what myself...hehe
yah...next year won't be such a good idea to buy stuff as prices will increase due to the GST. Happy for u that u've gotten the design u like
hi gyre,
err...unless u and your ILs are VERY VERY VERY close, otherwise, personally, i don't think it sounds too nice to ask for cash. Well, I guess it really depends on your ILs as well, like what kind of people are they, whether they are traditional kind who want some face type, or are they the modern practical understanding types who would think that cash will tide u through the wedding. In any case, if u prefer cash, don't ask for it yourself. The best is to get your hubby to test waters, maybe by asking casually and see what's your IL's reaction, that would give u a BIG clue as to whether they would be willing to give $$$...coz giving jewellery to the DIL has some meaning to it, tho I'm not sure what myself...hehe
K
kk
Guest
Gyre,
yes!! definitely. U can ask for cash to keep instead of getting jewellery. Some pple have done so
yes!! definitely. U can ask for cash to keep instead of getting jewellery. Some pple have done so
C
curious btb
Guest
Hi all,
I am really curious...what is the market range for si dian jing? My future MIL gave me a budget of $1500 - 1600 to get my jewellery stuff...is that considered the market rate? No offence, whatever amount she gives me, I will take.
I am really curious...what is the market range for si dian jing? My future MIL gave me a budget of $1500 - 1600 to get my jewellery stuff...is that considered the market rate? No offence, whatever amount she gives me, I will take.
K
kk
Guest
Curious BTB,
Your hubby side given u any tables?
Actually we cannot comment whether it is a lot or little. Depends on the hubby side. But normally they won't give too little coz u know, it concerns "face" matter
Your hubby side given u any tables?
Actually we cannot comment whether it is a lot or little. Depends on the hubby side. But normally they won't give too little coz u know, it concerns "face" matter
Hi curious,
Don't think there's a market rate. My MIL is giving me her old jewellery as si dian jin, but buying a pair of earrings (cos the old jewellery got no earrings). Also she doesn't have much savings to give me cash.
I think the amount you're getting can get maybe a simple set.
Don't think there's a market rate. My MIL is giving me her old jewellery as si dian jin, but buying a pair of earrings (cos the old jewellery got no earrings). Also she doesn't have much savings to give me cash.
I think the amount you're getting can get maybe a simple set.
Hi Orchid,
My parents-in-laws are not very well-to-do, so they will only be giving me at most 1k for the si dian jin. Do you think I will be able to get a simple set which consist of necklace, braclet, ear-rings and a ring with this budget? What is the market price for a standard set now?
My parents-in-laws are not very well-to-do, so they will only be giving me at most 1k for the si dian jin. Do you think I will be able to get a simple set which consist of necklace, braclet, ear-rings and a ring with this budget? What is the market price for a standard set now?
S
sdj
Guest
Hi Corrie,
1K for the whole set is rather difficult unless u are getting yellow gold or some other colored stones. White gold is usually more expensive. For a normal set of white gold with some diamonds, it can easily cost up to 5K.
1K for the whole set is rather difficult unless u are getting yellow gold or some other colored stones. White gold is usually more expensive. For a normal set of white gold with some diamonds, it can easily cost up to 5K.
C
curious btb
Guest
Hi kk,
My hubby giving abt 8 tables but the money is going to come from us not my parent-in-laws cos my hubby insisted. He also said that if the 1.5-1.6K budget is too little, I can still negotiate with his mum (my mum thinks he's crazy becos it makes it seem like she's selling her daughter...haaha!)If not, he will top up abt $2k from his account. U think that's the usual practice? I don't want him to spend unneccessary money like that but after surveying the jewellery shops, i realised that the budget i currently have won't really buy what i like and i happen to like diamonds and white gold...
My hubby giving abt 8 tables but the money is going to come from us not my parent-in-laws cos my hubby insisted. He also said that if the 1.5-1.6K budget is too little, I can still negotiate with his mum (my mum thinks he's crazy becos it makes it seem like she's selling her daughter...haaha!)If not, he will top up abt $2k from his account. U think that's the usual practice? I don't want him to spend unneccessary money like that but after surveying the jewellery shops, i realised that the budget i currently have won't really buy what i like and i happen to like diamonds and white gold...
K
kk
Guest
curious btb,
actually if the guy side gave u 8 tables, then the money is not really considered little.
Yah, i agree that the budget is too small to get anything presentable nowadays. Well, if u like diamonds and white gold, i dun know whether u can top up the rest with ur or ur hubby's money?
actually if the guy side gave u 8 tables, then the money is not really considered little.
Yah, i agree that the budget is too small to get anything presentable nowadays. Well, if u like diamonds and white gold, i dun know whether u can top up the rest with ur or ur hubby's money?
C
curious btb
Guest
kk,
the money for the 8 tables is gonna come from us so i thought the budget for the si-dian-jing should at least increase a little bit more?
the money for the 8 tables is gonna come from us so i thought the budget for the si-dian-jing should at least increase a little bit more?
K
kk
Guest
curious bb,
ooo...in that case, isn't the si dian jing should be higher?
i mean, why not discuss with ur mum and see what ur mum suggest. Ur mum should not feel that she is "selling" her daughter and at the same time, do not feel that all her "efforts are wasting in raising" u.
Then u tell ur mil how much u exactly want.
I think we gals should "take advantage" of this. I think by tradition, we normally tell the guy side how much we want. And not waiting for them to quote us instead...
ooo...in that case, isn't the si dian jing should be higher?
i mean, why not discuss with ur mum and see what ur mum suggest. Ur mum should not feel that she is "selling" her daughter and at the same time, do not feel that all her "efforts are wasting in raising" u.
Then u tell ur mil how much u exactly want.
I think we gals should "take advantage" of this. I think by tradition, we normally tell the guy side how much we want. And not waiting for them to quote us instead...
Hi all,
I too think it's a good idea to go shopping with your MIL! Can build up good relations too...
Err... just a thot here, maybe some may not agree with me, but do u think u're showing a bit of disrespect when u top up the "si jian jin"?? I mean, topping up the amount yourself indirectly implies that u find the amount too little, right? Like that not very nice leh.... think of it this way, giving si dian jin is just a symbolic gesture to welcome u into the family (in fact originally i think only teo chews practise it)... then it doesn't matter whether they give u a budget of $4000 or $1000... U can't measure sincerity by monetary amounts right?
So never mind lah... with all the positive feedback here, i'm sure it's possible to keep within the budget!
If u find that the jewellery within the price range is not to your liking, never mind lah, a few years later u can always go back to the goldsmith, melt it down and recast into trendy design lor!
I too think it's a good idea to go shopping with your MIL! Can build up good relations too...
Err... just a thot here, maybe some may not agree with me, but do u think u're showing a bit of disrespect when u top up the "si jian jin"?? I mean, topping up the amount yourself indirectly implies that u find the amount too little, right? Like that not very nice leh.... think of it this way, giving si dian jin is just a symbolic gesture to welcome u into the family (in fact originally i think only teo chews practise it)... then it doesn't matter whether they give u a budget of $4000 or $1000... U can't measure sincerity by monetary amounts right?
So never mind lah... with all the positive feedback here, i'm sure it's possible to keep within the budget!
Orchid, u got me wrong, i wasn't referring to your posting at all lah... u sound a little mad at me???
I know wat u mean, bringing your mil to shop for si dian jin is definitely a good idea! If she's there with u, of cos she will be the one to top up.... but for those not shopping with their inlaws, i just thot that maybe (just maybe) they may feel a bit offended that their dil thinks the amt is not sufficient for her....
Just a point lor, of cos if u have very easy-going inlaws, then lucky u, this will not be a problem!
I know wat u mean, bringing your mil to shop for si dian jin is definitely a good idea! If she's there with u, of cos she will be the one to top up.... but for those not shopping with their inlaws, i just thot that maybe (just maybe) they may feel a bit offended that their dil thinks the amt is not sufficient for her....
Just a point lor, of cos if u have very easy-going inlaws, then lucky u, this will not be a problem!