Singaporebrides | Relationships
September 2021
8 Situations All Newlyweds Will Encounter After The Wedding
Prepare yourselves for this whole new adventure called “marriage” by reading up on some of the things you’ll be going through as a newly-wedded couple.
As the sound of wedding bells and the whirlwind of excitement dies down after your big day, you’ll find yourselves marching straight into the next phase of your life – marriage. Nothing excites you more than embarking on a new chapter in life with the one you’ve sworn to love, and while newly-wedded life may seem sweet in the initial days, you may find yourselves in situations that you never thought you and your spouse would end up in, especially in the first few months after the wedding.
Before you scare yourselves and ask, “Did I do the right thing?”, many newlyweds like you go through the same experience in their marriage. Read more about the eight situations all newlyweds will encounter after the wedding, so you can be better prepared when it happens to you.
1. After-Wedding Blues
Cara and Andy’s Ethereal Blue-Hued Wedding at The St. Regis Singapore by Antelope Studios
It’s quite normal for some couples to feel some wedding blues after their big day. After spending months being busy with your wedding planning and running errands for the wedding, the sudden stop in the flurry of activities might leave you feeling a little empty and lost. You may also feel like you have nothing exciting to share with your spouse now that the wedding is over.
If you feel that way, don’t worry, you’re not alone. While it is perfectly normal to feel that way, this feeling will not last. Once you settle down into married life and get acquainted with the days of normalcy again, you’ll start busying yourself with other things. This extra time you have on your hands is also perfect for you and your spouse to bond as a newly-wedded couple and connect with one another now that the wedding is over.
Besides, if you’ve just gotten your build-to-order home or have just moved in, you’ll be plenty busy designing your home or settling into your new home.
2. Feeling Weird Referring to Each Other as “Husband” and “Wife”
Jacelyn and Sherman’s Wild and Free Pre-Wedding Shoot on Punggol Beach by Joy de Vi
One of the things I had trouble getting used to when I was a newlywed was referring to my spouse as my “husband”. Somehow, saying the word “husband” felt weird on my lips, especially in the first few days after the wedding. There were a few times that I still addressed him as my boyfriend!
If you’re like me, don’t worry! It’s perfectly normal, and many other couples feel the same way. Some couples just take a longer time to get used to referring to their spouse with another title after the wedding after spending years addressing them as another. This also applies to addressing your in-laws for the first few times after the wedding. As time went by, it became more natural for me, and you’ll feel that way soon too.
On the other hand, some couples cannot wait to refer to the love of their life as “my husband” or “my wife” and may be taking every opportunity to do so, which is extremely cute and understandable!
3. A Rude Return To Reality
Rachell and Sean’s Peranakan-Themed and Dreamy Rooftop Pre-Wedding Shoot with OneThreeOneFour
Once the excitement and fantasy of the wedding is over, you might find yourselves thrust back into a reality that doesn’t seem quite up to the life that you envisioned you’ll have after the big day. As you and your spouse settle into the normalcy of daily life, you might feel like your spouse is not making an effort to impress you and might even uncover some unsavoury living habits that may disappoint you.
Again, you aren’t alone in feeling that way. Many couples run into this problem after the excitement of the wedding dies down, even if they don’t talk about it. It is only normal for some couples to feel safe enough to let it all hang out in the presence of the person they’ve just sworn to love not too long ago.
In some ways, you or your spouse should feel flattered that you’re both comfortable in front of each other to let go of your image and be who you really are at home. However, if your or your spouse’s behaviour is affecting your relationship, then both of you should have a serious talk about it. If it isn’t harming anyone or anything, then you might want to learn to close an eye and live with it.
At the end of the day, if you cannot be your worst self in front of the man or woman you love and married, then who else can you show that side of you to?
4. Your First Big Fight as A Married Couple
Tania and Ayron’s Dreamy Pre-Wedding Photoshoot in Picturesque Bali by Trevo Pictures
Fighting is part and parcel of married life and very common among every married couple. But, as a newly-minted Mr. and Mrs., you probably think that you’ll never fight or even when you do, it won’t be a long fight and you’ll make up soon after. Then, your first big fight as a married couple comes along sooner and much bigger than you thought, and you feel a little frightened.
Sure, you may have had fights during your dating days, but now that you’re married, the stakes are a little higher. You can’t just walk away from your spouse when something doesn’t go your way anymore.
When that big fight as Mr. and Mrs. happens, remember first and foremost that you are both in this together, and the solution to your problem is to communicate with each other. No matter how angry you are at each other, never, ever, forget to talk to each other. If you need some time to calm down, let your spouse know and continue talking only after you’ve calmed down to prevent saying anything you’d regret later.
Talk to your spouse about what made you angry and why it made it you feel that way. Let him or her tell their side of the story and listen without any judgement or feelings of defensiveness. The key here is for both of you to express your concerns and feelings, and listen to and understand each other’s perspectives. With this understanding, you should work on a resolution that both of you agree on together. This doesn’t just apply to your first big fight as a married couple – it should apply for every fight you have from now on.
5. Questions about your new life
Amanda and Joseph’s Fun Pre-Wedding Shoot at Universal Studios Singapore by Knotties Frame
Now that your status has changed to a Mrs., everyone around you is suddenly curious about your life. In the next few days or weeks (or whenever you meet someone you know for the first time after your wedding), you’ll probably be asked a lot of questions about how you feel about being married, with the most popular ones being “How’s married life?”, “Do you feel any different from before the wedding?” and even “Have you started trying yet?”.
While some of these questions may feel vaguely (or very) intrusive, know that they were asked with the best intentions. Your family and friends simply want to know if you’re coping well with married life, if you’re facing any problems and whether you need any help or a listening ear.
We know that it may get tiring to hear the same questions all over again and to have to repeat yourself multiple times, but always accept them with a smile and respond to the ones that you want to reply to. Never feel like you have to share more than you’re comfortable with, no matter who asked the question. Just let them know politely that you’d like to keep these matters private and will share more when you want or are ready to.
6. The “D” word Might Cross Your Mind Once or Twice
Lynn and Zhisheng’s Awe-Inspiring Pre-Wedding Travelogue in Bali by KAI Picture
While the thought of divorce might be the last thing on your mind in the early days or weeks of your marriage, at some point, when the challenges and disappointments (yes, you will experience some of these) of married life hits you, the “D” word might creep silently into your head.
If you find yourself in this situation, don’t despair; you’re not alone. Many couples go through this phase even if they don’t openly talk about it. The important thing to note is not how you are actually thinking about divorce (it can happen, especially when your expectations of married life and your spouse are challenged passed a point), but to acknowledge and identify what is making you feel this way.
Have an honest and open chat with your spouse about how you feel and what made you feel that way. Don’t shut down and shut him out, which will actually let your feelings fester. Share them, and listen to what your spouse thinks and feels about the situation. Remember, you are in it together until death do you part, so always remember to communicate and work towards a resolution together.
7. Checking in with one another
Annabel and Joel’s Gorgeous Bali Pre-Wedding Photography Session by Darren and Jade Photography
Before you got married, you probably came and went without being expected to give notice at your parents’ home. Now that you’re married, that’ll have to change.
While you don’t have to be joined at the hips and do everything with your spouse, you have to be accountable to and mindful of each other, and it is only right for you to give notice if you have plans that don’t include your spouse so that they can make their own plans accordingly.
In the early days, it may be easy to forget that you need to inform each other of your personal plans, so you might want to consider setting each other a calendar reminder about the days that you will be spending time apart to prevent the situation where either of you forgets.
8. Talking about making babies
Janice and Glenn’s Stunning Pre-Wedding Shoot in Cappadocia, Turkey by Kursat Acar/White Grandeur
After the wedding, you and your spouse will suddenly find yourselves talking about making babies and having children a lot. When you’re out, your eyes will naturally be drawn to pregnant couples or families with young children, and you find yourself gushing over how cute their babies are or wondering what kind of parents you’ll be when you have your own brood.
It’s only natural that you and your spouse spend much of your time talking and thinking about having children. After all, now that you’re legally married, the love-making can officially begin and babies are naturally the result of your consummation. Speaking of love-making, that’s another thing newlyweds can expect to happen a lot after the wedding, especially if they’ve moved into their new home. Living together under the same roof just makes it easier and more convenient to make love without the fear of being walked-in or heard, which makes the experience even more titillating and satisfying.
These eight common situations are just the beginning of many more situations that you’ll encounter as husband and wife in the coming days and years of your marriage. Some of these may not come as a surprise while others may blindside you. At the end of the day, what matters is not whether you’ve seen it coming, but how you deal with it. Always remember that you’re in this together and tackle these situations as one.
Feature Image from Janice and Glenn’s Stunning Pre-Wedding Shoot in Cappadocia, Turkey by Kursat Acar/White Grandeur
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