Singaporebrides | Weddings 101
10 Easy Ways to Be a Supportive Bridesmaid
Planning a wedding can get very stressful for the bride and she needs all the help she can get from a reliable support system – her bridesmaids!
It is an honour to be chosen as a bridesmaid as it reveals how dear and important you are to the bride for her to include you in this once-in-a-lifetime milestone in her life. But with such honour comes a big responsibility. As a bridesmaid, you’ll be expected to do more than accompany the bride to shop for a dress or plan an unforgettable bachelorette party for her.
Your role and responsibility are to support the bride by ensuring that she can turn to and rely on you when times get tough, whether it is helping her with her errands or listening to her vent her frustrations. To help you be the most helpful and supportive bridesmaid ever, here are 10 easy ways you can show your support to the bride during her wedding planning and wedding day.
1. Be Happy For HerSun Yang and Wen Qiang’s Ethereal Wedding at The Barracks Hotel by Arture Photography
Showing your support for the bride can be as simple as being happy for her when she shares the good news and her excitement over the planning details with you. Nothing can be more upsetting to her than having disapproving and unexcited bridesmaids, so don’t be a party pooper and be happy for the bride, even if you do not agree with her.
2. Be The Person She Can Turn To For Advice and OpinionsHui Kin and Andie’s Paper-Floral Wedding at Andaz The Glasshouse by Joy de Vi
There are many decisions to be made in a wedding and it can be overwhelming for one person to decide on everything by themselves. So, it’s no wonder that a bride occasionally needs helping making a decision or seeks affirmation that her decision is the right one from a third-party. And that person is you.
As a bridesmaid, one of your jobs is to be the person the bride can turn to for reliable, honest and unbiased advice and opinions. So, if you’ve been asked for them, share your advice and opinions with her in a non-bias and objective manner. You can even offer some helpful suggestions or alternatives that you think she’ll consider, instead of offering options that you think would be better.
Remember, your objective is to help her arrive at a decision that she loves and not decide on her behalf or air your dislikes about the choices she has made for her wedding.
3. Be her listening ear and shoulder to cry onAshlee and David’s Stunning All Villas Ululate Wedding in Bali by Axioo
Sometimes, what the bride really needs is an outlet to let out some steam and vent without any judgement or bias. So, be that outlet for her, and listen to her frustrations, woes and anxieties without any snide comments.
Be her confidante and empathise with her situation, and help her feel listened to so she can feel better and refreshed to continue with the planning.
4. Support her decisionsJennica and Xin Ying’s Elegant and Timeless Wedding at JW Marriott Singapore South Beach by Antelope Studios
It’s okay if you don’t agree that you and the rest of the bridesmaids will look stunning in the dresses that she has picked out for you, but you don’t have to diss her choice and kick up a big fuss about how unflattering it will look on you. We’re not saying you have to like the dress she has picked out for you or pretend that you do; instead, you show your support for her as a treasured friend and bridesmaid by accepting that that is the look she wants for her big day and one that she is happy about.
Ultimately, it is her wedding and she has the final say. What you need to do is to support her by accepting her decisions, even if you do not agree or like them.
5. Help the bride run errands and stay organisedAliya and Yuji’s Merry Vintage Glam Wedding at The Clifford Pier, The Fullerton Bay Hotel by Caline Ng Photography
Lend the busy bride a hand by offering to run some errands for her so she can work on other tasks that need her attention. Offer to help source for the bridesmaids’ dresses, or ask if you can help her collect the Xi Bing (喜饼) for her Guo Da Li （过大礼) ceremony.
You can also help her out by helping her stay organised and on top of things so her big day can run smoothly. Have a discussion with her on what she needs for the wedding or what needs to be done or packed for the actual day, and note them down in a list so you can check back and make sure that you have everything she needs for her big day.
You can also remind her about the lists that she should have for her actual day, such as a list of her vendors’ contacts, seating plan and wedding day schedule. You can even help her prepare a rough draft of her wedding schedule and send it to her for editing, so she doesn’t have to do one up from scratch all by herself. But do check with her if she would like you to do so, or if she would prefer to do it herself.
6. Make sure that the bride has what she needsCalista and Christopher’s Big and Gorgeous Wedding at Raffles Hotel Jakarta by Illuminen
As a bridesmaid, your job is to help the bride out as much as she needs and to make sure that she has what she needs for a worry-free wedding, whether it is help to put on her dress or to resolve a hiccup during the wedding.
Prepare a bridal emergency kit and pack some essentials such as a travel sewing kit, stain remover, bobby pins, hairspray, and some basic makeup items for a quick touch-up in case of any emergencies during the wedding.
You should also pack some light bites that are easy to snack on as well as some bottled water to keep the bride and groom (or even the bridesmaids and groomsmen!) hydrated and fed as the wedding activities may be too hectic to grab a bite in-between.
7. Take her out for a fun and relaxing timeJoymarie and Mackenzie’s Fun, Tropical Bali Wedding by Apel Photography
You can also show your support by whisking her away from the wedding planning for some temporary relaxing fun if you notice that she is getting stressed out or overwhelmed by the planning.
Arrange a dinner and movie date with the rest of the girls where you talk about anything and everything aside from the wedding, or book her in for a pampering trio of spa, facial and mani-pedi sessions with me for some girl bonding time so she can recharge.
8. Be the liaison between the bride and everyone elseLetty and Benjamin’s Incredible Myanmar Pre-Wedding and Stylish Wedding by Super Panda Presents
Show your support to the bride by stepping in and being the liaison between her and everyone else so you can take this responsibility off her shoulders and let her focus on other tasks or just enjoy the moment as a bride.
It’ll be your job to coordinate, liaise and communicate with the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the groom, and everyone else who is involved in the wedding, so try to be as involved or updated in the planning process as you can, so that you are able to carry out this responsibility.
9. Be her personal coordinator and problem-solver so she can enjoy her big dayHailey and Clifford’s Exquisite Wedding at The White Rabbit by Bridelope Productions
While it is your job to coordinate, liaise and communicate with everyone involved in the wedding, you don’t have to do everything by yourself! In fact, you shouldn’t.
Your primary role is to stick close to the bride and assist her with whatever she needs while overseeing the wedding to make sure everything proceeds smoothly and according to plan. That means, you’ll need to ask the rest of the bridal party to help you with the coordination and liaising with vendors and the guests to make sure the wedding runs and proceeds without a hitch. After all, their role is to help the bride and groom out as much as possible so that they can enjoy their big day to the fullest.
You should also be the go-to person should there be any problems on the wedding day, such as vendors turning up late or guests requesting for a change in seating arrangements, so that the bride and groom can fully enjoy the moment without dealing with the stress or worry associated with any hiccups that may occur. However, if a serious problem that only the bride and groom can decide on, you should bring it to their attention as soon as you can so that they can quickly resolve it.
10. Or, simply ask her what she needsLinette and Joshua’s Autumn-Inspired Bohemian Wedding at Hotel Fort Canning by Androidsinboots
Sometimes, what the bride really needs is not help with the wedding planning, but rather someone to show concern and interest in how she is coping with it. Even if you do not end up helping her with anything, she’ll definitely appreciate your offer to help.
But more often than not, the bride may not know where to begin asking for help as she may feel overwhelmed or personally responsible for going on this journey on her own. In such cases, asking her what she needs may help her realise which tasks she can delegate to you and the other bridesmaids so that she can focus her energy and time on others.
Asking her what she needs help with also keeps you from overstepping your bounds as a bridesmaid but still allows you to help her in any way possible.
Credits: Feature Image from Li Syn and Abel’s Floral-Filled Wedding at The Fullerton Hotel by Andri Tei Photography