Unreasonable Dowry

mist

New Member
hi olio,

hehehe.. then i unlucky loh, only i get the small ang pow during tea ceremony. but anyway, it's okay for me lah, everything over liao.

yah, relationship turns sour hor?? sometimes parents dun understand the real "market" loh. perhaps this is really what we term as generation gap.
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forrestgump4

New Member
Hi Olio,
What happen ah... what happen to us we pass to next gen lor. Haha. Coming to square one again.

Sigh, i hope the parents knew that we have house loans,reno loans, even electrical appliance also got loan to settle. Not like last time old gen where DIL stay with PIL. Save money.

Now moving out but parents still have old thinking want this and that. Sigh. Then parents say ,"why not stay with us". Then like that another problem arise-- MIL and DIL prob. Haha. I'm sure last time got DIL bui song MIL but seldom have what we see today leh. Hmm...whatz wrong?
 

asura

New Member
Hi Puay Kheng,

That sounds like a good idea, rather than me beating about the bush and worrying about the expenses. Might as well tell him straight in the face. If he keeps the ang pows and i dont have enough money to pay for banquet, i would go look for him. if not, would let it go..

did you give him anything for bride price?

Hi all,

what's the diff between jia zhuang and bride price? my dad is someone who only remember what to take and not give anything. Maybe telling him that he got to give something would shut him up if he does not.
 

puay_kheng

New Member
Hi Asura79

For the bride price, I oso told him straight off that I will keep all since I paid for everything - my 'jia zhuang' & other misc items (oranges, 2 bottles of orange juice, biscuits which my MIL wants, etc, etc..) but my god-ma pity him and asked me to give him the ang bao for 'soi sai ba' which is actually meant for my mum for washing my buttok when I'm young (I'm a teochew, so got this law). Her reason is that every parents will get some ang bao when marrying off their daughter so let him have it then. Anyway, the ang bao is not big lah.

Think you shd talk to him in that if you are unable to cover the banquet, then the ang baos have to return to you.
 

puay_kheng

New Member
Ausra79

One more thing, for the bride price, perhaps you can ask your dad to pass it to you if he is not preparing those ang baos to be used on actual day such as ang baos for your jie mehs & xiong dis, MUA, photographer, videographer, 'match-maker' - an auntie who bring you over to in-laws' house, etc.
 

asura

New Member
Hi Puay Kheng,

Thanks so much for the information. Me also Teochew. Was advised by my cousin that we could actually not give roast pork and father's suit.. just need to put money in an ang pow call roast pork. Think that way, my dad would be getting a bit already. I dont mind giving him a bit.. as long as he gives me the rest.

By the way, can the 'match-maker' be any one? or we got to specially get one? from whose family? mine or my FH's?
 

june2006

New Member
I didn't read all the comments.. Just sharing my side of the story.
The Ang Bao my mum is asking for is only $288. On top of that it's a pair of shoes for my brother (don't ask me why), 8 banquet tables (they've really tried to cut down as much as possible), 20 boxes of bridal pastry (for neighbours and friends)... And that's all. Sob... Mum doesn't even want to help me get the jewellery!! Heh...

Mum mentioned that if the bridal price is too high, then it's like selling off a daughter; quite ugly. Sigh... dunno lah... but honestly, there will be people who will try to 'earn' when the opportunity strikes. Harhar... like me lah! Trying to 'earn' some diamonds.
embarrassed.gif
 

helena

New Member
June,
You must be Cantonese cos the pair of shoes thingy is Cantonese tradition. It's called "kao jai hai".
 

june2006

New Member
Yup! Any idea what's the significance? I find it a little strange. Mum also mentioned that being Cantonese, we do not return any part of the "pin jin". Mm... I said the "pin jin" of $288 is too little; like I'm very cheapo. She felt a little sad about it and decided to ask for 9 tables instead. My parents will receive back all the Ang Bao. Hmm... still no LeeHwa jewellery for me!
 

sunshineliv

New Member
Hi all

I had disagreements abt this with my parents too but I also try to understand what my parents think. They are not asking for exorbitant pin jin but I'm afraid it will burn a hole in my hubby's pocket as we are paying for the banquet ourselves. The relatives on my dad's side will definitely give the ang bao to my dad.

While they will not ask for sky-high pin jin, they will not ask for a low sum because that will give the impression that I'm very "cheap" and they will just marry me off based on that low amount.

Sometimes I do ask myself why I have to contribute to my parents a fraction of my salary and I actually told my dad he'll make my life very difficult if they are going to ask for this and that for the wedding. I also know that its my responsibility to contribute and help my parents, since mine are not well-off.

I console myself by taking it as a "trade-off", because my parents have "pledged" to help take care of my children next time hehe. I'm considered quite lucky becuse my parents are quite young
(dad is 50 and my elder sis is 30; not shotgun ok
happy.gif
) His parents are of the same age as my parents and my sis is the same age as my hubby.

Money is always the root of all problems...
 

scrumpee01

New Member
After reading all the postings, realise I'm quite fortunate to have understanding parents and in-laws. My parents each gave me a four figure sum as 'jia zhuag', so that adds up to a five figure sum which I used it for my hse reno. But don't be mistaken, I'm not from a well to do family, just from a middle income family. My mum asks for $1288 as 'pin jin' but returning $1k to my in-laws. Never ask for tables, I just give her like 3 tables but I will keep all the ang pao money as me and FH paying for all the wedding expenses ourselves. So in return, I paid for my mum's dress for the wedding.

I'm also very touched that my mil bought 'si dian jin' for me even though I told her not to, or just get a pair of simple earings cos his family not well to do too. And so far, both side of our parents never interfered in our wedding prep including banquet venue (we having at sentosa). They just leave it to us to do our own things.

Wish all the brides-to-be here who have problems with their parents all the best and be a happy bride.
 

christmas_bride

New Member
Hi,

just checking wat should be the 'jia zhuang'? is it true that 'jia zhuang' will be bought using the dowry?
my mum is fine with anything as long as she dont need to fork out $$, though my dad may expect to get some 'monetary' returns.
All the expenses will be shared by my husband and i, so i told her i may be giving her $2k dowry. she say she will use it to pay 'jia zhuang' for me. is this how it works? cos my mum also not sure the actual procedure.

i used to get quite worried about my husband and i bearing the cost of the banquet for my mum's side which is 10 tables cos my pay is very low, and i need to pay a hefty sum of $$ for my part time studies. but come to think of it, a few thousands can be easily earn back (no matter how low our pay is) within a few years, so now i just try to be relax and be a happy bride.

btw, i'm just curious abt one thing. when i was still in my sec days, my dad used to call me 'pei qian wuo' (objects which made him loss $$) whenever i take allowance from him. but in actual fact, he can only gain $$ from a daughter's wedding and will sometimes need to fork out $$ for his son's wedding....irony...
 

bbsquid

New Member
wah seems like every bride & groom faces e same problem about e tables, pin jin & ang baos...

i've been cracking my head over this issue... don even know hw to talk to my mum cos those aunties will alwaz "wash her brain" on this issue.

though my MIL says that she will fork out $$ to help us if we don have enough but my hubby & i don feel good... both parents will meet up sometime in sept after my photoshoot... don even dare to think wat my mum will ask for...
sad.gif
 

mayng

New Member
baby: put hints.. it will hhelp..
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i did tt to hint my mum.. it works.
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my mum oso kena brain washed by my grandmother, so totally unavoidable
 

ace88

New Member
Actually when u 'give' your parents tables, is it juz u pay for the tables, so that they can invite their friends, but u still get to keep the angbao? How does this work or how is it suppose to be ah?

I'm juz curious. Thanks.
 

dabee

New Member
hi all brides to be:
i just come across this thread, wan to share my experiences. i also face lots of problems during wedding pre my AD last year.
actually i always expecting/hoping that PILs can help with the wedding expenses cos my ex bfs has rich parents. unfortunately that the man whom i wan to marry has poor n very old parents in their 70s. i die die din wan to ask any money from my own parents to help cos i think guy side should pay, of cos i will contribute too. i am very stressed up with $$ issues, cos my PIL cant help n they wan this wan that worst is many tables cos they hv many relatives n my MIL even wan to invite the pork, veg, fruit seller at the market whom she consider them as good old neighbour whom invite her to their children's wedding.... since my hubby is going to pay for all expenses he has the final say. that is also one reason that he also not hoping that his fmaily would help as he does not wan to owe them anything. his eldest sis is very rich, but my hubby said that he would rather owe bank $$ than her. otherwise if his sis "help" to pay first then she of cos would also hv the right to say this and that.....

i am very happy that my parents are very understanding they even volunteer to help us to cover the banquet $$ first if we make a loss from the hongbao $$$. my parents never ask for anything though i did ask them what they wan, then i decided on their behalf. simple things like bring oranges on the actual day n give my mom hongbao ($1288) as washing nappy $$ n pin jin. my mom wanted to return some but on AD all those shan gu lu po dun let my mom return. sigh. after wedding my mom did ask my hubby if he needs the $$ back, my hubby said never mind ask her to keep we have enough $$. my parents relative total of 10 tables, so this 10 tbles consider gave my parents, hubby pay for tbles $$$. after AD, dad also transfer the hong bao he collected into my bank acc. though not eoungh to cover that 10 tbles but glad that he returned. dad also gave me $1k before wedding to pay for miscel. my mom bought me jia zhuang. my MIL gave me one of her diamond bracelet and also bought me a new big gold bangle. my SIL the rich one also very generous in her angbao total of $2k. whereas the rest of my hubby big brothers gave like only $60 (each couple) for tea ceremony n none for banquet!!!!!
i was really glad that MIL gave us back all the hong bao $$ she collected though also lost abit. we are lucky that all our friends gave alot. i was angry that my hubby was not going to ask from his mom if she did not give us back hong bao she collected automatically. he said she old liao if she wan give her. therefore hubby is prepared to gave her n take out his $$ to cover.
 

dabee

New Member
hey jade:
by right when parents ask for tables (regardless for relaticves or friends), then groom side has to pay for the tables expenses. and bride parents get to keep those hongbao from those tables. is better to ask your parents if they are going to keep those hongbao $$ or give you and hubby back???? u better ask your parents asap.
 

dabee

New Member
o ya my parents din wan "xi bin" pastry to distribute too. my MIL was actually har har what everything also dun wan. we also dun hv guo da li. but my MIL insisted on giving my mom a right pig hand raw!!! she say is a must hokkien custom.
 

ace88

New Member
Hi DaBee,

Thanks for your reply.

Hehe..actually I married liao. I was juz reading the posts here and wondering which should be the right way lor.

So if the couple (not the groom side - as in the groom's parents) are paying for the banquet themselves, then should they keep all the angbao har?

Back then for me, we didn't get to keep leh. We pay for all the expenses, then angbao all they take. Actually very siong for us back then.
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Coz we only kept those from our colleagues and personal friends. So end of the day, it was not enuff to pay for the banquet. And I was quite upset and stressed over it.

But my hubby say dun be too calculative or brood over it lor. Coz both side parents got give us rather expensive wedding gifts. So I juz took it as I paid for those gifts at a premium price. kekeke.. that way at least I feel better. :p
 

xocross

Member
hi hi!

was reading the above posts. and it has been very insightful.

my mom and MIL are meeting soon, i suppose. dad doesnt want to get involved. i think he thinks it is lost of face to ask for $$. hahaha...

anyway, my mom has previously said she will take a portion of the Ping Jin. as for tables we agreed that my parents can have any amount of tables as long as they return all the ang pows to us (for practicality and to cover cost...) but she requested that we yi si yi si give her an ang pow.

hope she remembers this.

i love my parents very much. but i really dun want to go into debt at my wedding either. i guess to me all these are just traditions that man should do away with. but for them, it's like such a long zhong occasion, their daughter's getting married.

it's pretty difficult to see things from their point of view (esp when our pockets are tight and limited) whereas for them, it's difficult to see things from our point of view. dad commented that he paid for everything during his time... forgetting that a bowl of noodles back then cost 5c? ok... i exaggerated. =P

in the earlier days i would quarrel with my mom over it. but now i just learn to avoid it. it's suppose to be a happy occasion right? =)

my mom's pretty good at picking up hints and i'm good at dropping hints.

let's just hope the dowry discussion will go on smoothly. =)

all the best everyone!
 

bugslife

New Member
hi all brides to be,

my turn is coming... my mum is asking us to customary next yr.. actually it has more or less being confirm thats its going to be be next yr as advice by our fengshui master.... i hate talking $$ issues with my mum.. cos i dunno whats in her mind loh... she want her face and pride and in return i suffer and slog...

my PILs are ok to do.. not rich.. but very thrifty ppl... my hubby.. has not much money too as he owns a car... so car owners.. i know how "cash rich" they can be... BUT my mum DUN see the point... she thinks they are RICH!!!!!!!! ^$#%^$&%$%&

she was suggesting to me that theres a resturant in chinatown which is not bad... immed i said NO.. cos i know my hubby taste.. he wont like it either.. he stood there speechless.. (not in a posistion to talk back).. so i fight back... she ever mentioned she want 10 tables.. i told her if she want 10 tables.. thats out of the question too..i told her we HAVE NO MONEY!! if we get a decent hotel, that will at least $8k incurred by us..

i just dun understand her mentality.. marriage is a happy matter... and i cant let my hubby bear for all the costs as i know how much he can afford... and we have just spend a huge sum on our house reno and furnishing.. still trying to build up our bank acct again..

my mum having contribute NOTHING to my house and studies... still expects so much out of my wedding... i am still slogging to repay my study loan.. really DO not have extra cash for her requests... plus i dun dare to see how much she asking for pin jin.. cos she has this thing of comparing.. u know lah.. when aunties get together.. they gossip about anything... and my mum felt lose face in front of her frens that i am actually giving her soo little money for monthly expenses... already reason with her.. she said she understand.. BUT apparantly, she still feel unbalance, else y feel lose face?

each time we talk abt money matters..i will lose my cool... cos i am suffering here with her requests.. so can anyone suggests whether is this reasonable?

we give her 10 tables.. but she pays 5 of them.. she can pocket all the ang baos.. but she has to pay in full for 5 tables.. pin jin wise... is $888 ok?

is shi dian jin really a must? i mean my mum has to give me that?? i rather not.. i dun trust her taste..

actually...i STILL dun understand how can parents make money out of our wedding... yah i know they brought us up.. but aint we giving them monthly "allowance" already? and we will be payign for our own wedding... do they really wanna see us slog just to make them feel proud?? doesnt make sense... urgh....

frustrated!!!!!
 

dabee

New Member
hi jade:
i see. like what i say tradition rules are rules but we and hopefully all parents should be flexible depends situation and financial status of couple...

ur situation is my worst fear!!! couple paying for all tables expenses and both side parents pocket all their so called tables hong bao. my gosh. vomit blood. i just started working no much savings n my hubby too (he needs to pay for the house his parents are previously staying n his car) so can count how much savings we have... that is why i wan to clarify all these $$ issues before deciding our venue. at least my hubby would be prepare to pay from his pocket if his parents wan to pocket their friends n relatives hong bao and if my parents wan to pocket their relatives and friends hong bao then i will come out from my pocket. keep get this matter clarify. i dun wan to have all these $$$ unhappiness. i hate it!!!!!

ur hubby also right. but lucky u still got ex wedding gifts!!! i think many of us also dun hv.....

SL is right wedding should be happy happy, try not to be too upset over $$ matters..
 

dabee

New Member
hi bug:
try to control ur cool when u discuss about all these with ur mom. try to explain to her let know her how much $$ u n HTB has loh. hope that she will understand.... u still giving her allowance after marriage not that she would never see u again.... right? if she wan 10 tbles and she dun mind to pay for 5 (eg $800x5=$4k), that sounds reasonable. even if she wan to pocket all 10 tbles hong bao, if u can give her loh. sometimes, i really doubt how much hong bao $$$ can our parents get from their relatives and friends... usually not much $$$. unless their friends n relatives are very generous till give like $100 per head. and usually immediate relatives gave during tea liao wun give for diner leh!!!!!!!!!!!! from your cousins n relatives weddings, can roughly est. how much relatives usually give.... in my wedding diner, some old relatives came without giving any hongbao. there are also few $50 and one $20 hong bao in the hongbao box. all these without names!!!! but definitely not from my or hubby friends cos all our friends hongbao are named!!!
 

esgril

New Member
Hi Bugslife

After reading yr post, I feel that u r siding yr husband & in-laws than your own family.

My husband is not rich and he drives. 2 yrs ago, we spent most of our savings on our hse reno, now we hv slowly accumulated a bit of savings for our wedding.

My mum ever told me that my wedding, she'll invite only relatives & 1 or 2 close friends which is abt 3 tables.

I felt it was a bit too little (3 tables only) and so I am going to include additional 2-3 more tables that consists of my own frens & colleagues under her. That means I'll give my mum at least 5-6 tables. This was my decision, she didn't ask for it but I wanna give it to her. I told her that she gets to keep all the ang bao collected from these tables.

When my husband & I discussed on the venue of our wedding. I told him we will give my mum abt 6 tables & she'll keep the ang baos for these tables. He complained that it is very 'shiong' for him. But I explained that as long as we dun spend too much $ on other items like PG, VG, bridal package, etc, we can still cope without these few tables of ang baos, isn't it.

Eg: If we chose an affordable venue, costing $550 to $650, then it wld cost us abt $3.3k to $3.9k for 6 tables which we have to incur. I dun think that's not a lot of $$ as she has brought me up for the past 20 over years. It's only a small token of appreciation.

Many couples spend a fortune on bridal packages, PG & VG, expensive banquets like $800-$1k per table, shoes, make-up artist, facials, spa, slimming treatments, honeymoon travel package, etc, just wanting to have the best for their wedding. But when the event is over, they realised that they overspent & incur heavy losses. Then they blame their parents for taking their ang baos or not sponsoring the wedding.

To me, wedding is not only a couple's own affair, the parents of the couple are also sharing the joy & happiness of the occasion. So why not make it a pleasant & memorable event for all instead having everyone upset with each other and pretending to be happy on that day.
 

ace88

New Member
Hiazzzz... $ issue is always sensitive lor, even with family. Try to talk it through nicely without getting worked up.

Also, try to be 'prepared' for a 'loss' lor. And by loss I mean... paying for parents tables and not getting the angbao..or your guest bao really small angbao.

Anyways, throwing banquets is not about making a profit, suppose to be happy happy occassion. so don't let the money stresses bog u down and spoil your special day
happy.gif
 

xocross

Member
Esgril, makes sense. ;P

hey, i read some earlier posts about relatives giving only once (tea ceremony).

my cousin recently got married and my parents wanted to give her gold (so i think my relatives will give again ba)!

i was like so shocked! haha. i can imagine my poor cousin making a loss. so i coax my parents to give money. you know old folks, give gold ppl dunno value. give money everyone got eyes to see for themselves...

but thank God, my parents relented and gave her a huge angpao. hee. i hope she will return the favour on my wedding day!

but come to think of it, i'm not sure if my aunt/uncle kept the ang paos from relatives. if they did, i think i did my cousin a great disservice! at least gold she can keep and pawn right!?

=(

haiz...

ok. sorry for rattling off here.

have a nice day!
 

dabee

New Member
hi SL:

FYI i am "unfortunate" that my father slidings are very stingy. my dad has 9 of them. when their children got married durin the tea my dad is the one whom gave the most $1k hongbao as my dad always think he is the eldest uncle he can he will help his "xiao pei" nieces n nephew. when comes to my wedding most of his slidings give me only $20 hong bao for tea and there was one hongbao of only $2!! duno who gave one cos my jie mei dumped all into one bag.. these aunties even refuse my grandmother to buy any gold for me!!!! my dad was super upset n disappointed with them. hence dun expect the same in return from even ur closest... one auntie even insisted to my dad that she gave me gold (bracelet). but no lah never. sigh. aiya, i also dun care cant be bother.
EsGril: i strongly agree with what u pointed out. of cos it wouldnot be right or good if couple spurgle on those unneccessary desires and then demand parents not to take those hongbao money. is ridiculous that people can be so selfish, thick skin!!!
 

xocross

Member
Hi Esgril

just an update.

i sounded my mom out about how much ping jin she will keep she was quite evasive. think she scared i will "lash" at her for keeping too much. haha. but i remembered what you said about how we must side our parents and not be mean that they cannot take this or do this. so i told my mom maybe she should consider this $xxx amount. my mom was quite stunned for a while. then she soften and we had quite a good talk when she knew her daughter is "on her side".

then she said no la, it will only be for yi si yi si. she wont take much and she will return us all the angpaos. not to worry. and funny thing is, her good friend's daughter is getting married one day before me and this auntie has many demands (10 tables and keeping 5 tables ang paos!). lucky my mommy didnt learn from her. =)

thanks for the sound advise esgril. really appreciate it. =) and i know my mom will appreciate it too. =)

hi dabee... my siblings giving me gifts too and brother bringing gf. no ang pao. sob sob. but i guess cannot be too calculative. hope friends will be more generous? if not, FH and i are actually quite prepared to make up the difference. hope it's a few K max! =P *cross fingers*
 

mayng

New Member
SL: glad ur mum real understanding... Well i always tot i have a very unreasonable mum... but during my hints to her abt my wedding and needed the angbaos to cover all expenses, she was quite nice abt it. thk god she did not listen to my Grandmother (my mum's mum) who keeps telling her to keep all the angbaos... well we compromise... how many tables she wanted, we give... but on the accord tt we will have the angbaos back. things went on well.. except my grandmother making noise.. well old folks thinks differently.

My younger brother never give me angbao.. but his gf did... like wat u said.. we chant be calculative. anyway he is my younger brother so its totally ok if he doesnt give me one...
 

dabee

New Member
hi SL:
glad that you hv talked to your mom n she is very understanding. give her a big kiss...
ya loh, cant be too calculative give n take... enjoy your wedding gals!!!
 

esgril

New Member
Hi SL

Glad you managed to talk it out with your mum.
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You should feel more relieved now. I believe most mothers/parents are soft-hearted, they dun want to see their children be unhappy.

Singapore parents are usually more conservative, they hide their feelings & dun express them openly. No doubt in their hearts, they do care for us and we know it.

After so many years of upbringing, what most parents long for, is to have filial children. Willing to give them some time, attention & concern which is more valuable than just giving them money.

Me too, I want to have a good spouse & obedient, filial children. So how I treat my parents today, will reflect how my children will treat me in future. (keke..
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that's my own thinking)
 

virgo_jenn

New Member
need all u're advise.

My hubby & I also footing all the dinner cost so all ang pao also comes back to us. Have informed my parents but they wanted to ask for more "pin jin" frm my PIL. What do you think is a more reasonable sum because apparently my father wants to ask for $5K but i feel that its a lot for my PIL especially their business is not doing well.

I thght of discussing w my parents. Shld I ask them to take $3888 so that we can sort of like either return $1K or $888 ?
 

dabee

New Member
hi virgo:
your dad asked for 5K for pin jin but how much is he going to return??? pls check with him first. so u are actually thinking of letting your parents keep about 2K to 3k? 2k 3k sound reasonable if your parents insist. pls clarify with them and also ur hubby if 2,3k is comfortable..
 

xocross

Member
thanks everyone!

hope all the dowry discussion will go on well for you all too. =)

oh i heard we must give younger unmarried relatives too. is it true? he is the eldest with 10 other cousins! hahaha... i have 1 more apart from my bro. so not so bad...
 

virgo_jenn

New Member
dabee,

i thk my PIL is giving us for the pin jin because we are footing for the banquet. my PIL intended to help us with the banquet but i do not want them to help u see so dowry thgs they have to pay. from wat i noe they also help my hubby's brother when they got married so cannot be unfair to us right....
 

foreigngroom

New Member
Wow, this stuff is crazy. Coming from the U.S. and marrying a Singaporean, I am _so_ glad that her parents haven't started making any demands on me. Weddings in the U.S. are so much easier.

Partly, perhaps its because weddings are guaranteed to be a loss of money, because no one gives angbao's. All the guests give wedding presents (like kitchen appliances, place settings, etc.) to the couple instead. So no one goes into a wedding thinking they are going to "profit" from the event. :p By the way, the custom is that the bride's parents pay for the wedding!
 

grin

New Member
yc

Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of S'porean weddings! Good luck, you'll need it! muahahaha...
happy.gif
 

afcai

New Member
Hi SL,
normally, if the younger unmarried relatives 'jin cha'(serve u) tea then u only give loh.what I heard fr.
 

sloppyfella

New Member
for me, I was pretty lucky. My dh's family knew that he couldn't afford much cos he just got back from Aussie and started working less than 2 yrs. And well, they are abit traditional teochew..so they believe must give this and that. Though we did simplify it. They also knew my parents not well to do.

Only thing that shocked my in-laws and my aunty-in-law is that, the red packet that they gave my mum, my mum took only $200 out of it. First reaction to them was "I SO CHEAP?" But to my mum and grandma was "don't want to deem GREEDY?"
Hahaha. I learn lots during that timing cos I KPO. But my mum won't tell me anything, say let the adults talk. So I asked my MIL to explain! LOL
But my parents asked for 10 tables. My inlaws willingly gave. They paid for the whole wedding infact. From the gowns, to the dinner, to even our honeymoon. We did save for it (had sufficient) but they didn't want us to pay.
 

xocross

Member
hi sloppy... very very understanding inlaws you had!

well everyone, my dowry discussion took place a couple of days ago. the 2 moms were so ke4 qi4 with each other they didnt know how to start the conversation! my mommy left it to auntie to decide how much ping jin and what kind of jewellery to give. =)

afcai, the 2 moms said no need to give ang pao to younger unmarried relatives (aka cousins). that will save us some money! ho ho ho! =P
 

afcai

New Member
Hi SL,
yup, relatives dun need to give one but the younger siblings need when they 'jin cha' to the married couple(if the bride or bridegroom is the brother or sister)
 

virgo_jenn

New Member
afcai,

any idea how about our nieces and nephew because my hubby is the youngest and the only unmarried son the rest of the siblings already married w children ?

I thght any younger generation like counsins or nieces/nephew who wis to "jin cha" we will need to give ang pow...but i thk i remember during my hubby's elder bro weddg he did not give so many ang pow only my hubby "jin cha" to him.

In this case need to standby for counsins,nieces & nephew a not because my hubby has got many manys....
 

afcai

New Member
Hi virgo,
Did attend tea cermoney, but did not come across those young kids except siblings 'jin cha' to couple.

I guess better to stand by. a small ang pow will do.
 

cutiepooh

New Member
Hi gers

I'm abit confused abt what exactly jia zhuang will most likely consist of. Is jia zhuang and pin jin the same?

If my fiance and I are going to pay for the wedding banquet (fulfilling the number of tables requires by both sides), then wat will the jia zhuang or pin jin most likely be? In this case, my fiance and I will get to keep all ang baos rite?

Any cantonesse brides here?...maybe u gers will be familiar to cantonese tradiation

hope u gers can enlighten me, this new bride-to-be
happy.gif
 

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