Support group - Divorce

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mismarriage

Guest
Watshidido, if both of you are quite willing to divorce than not much problem and do not have to spend alot of monies. Just like ma, everything aslo no need. Anything he wants he can take except the child, no need maintenance,no alimony .Make it quick and get on....if he is difficult, which I think is not, cos he do not have much finances, den the journey may be painful....GO AHEAD
 


W

watshidido

Guest
Hi MisMarriage

The problem is he wans to keep the house which is a headache to me...and he wants full ownership. But i found out from hdb that even thought is written in the deed of separation, anything happens to the house, the owners will be responsible if the other party cannot be contacted.

I am worried that he might rent out the house or something and end up i have to bear the consequences...do u understand where i am coming from?
 
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watshidido

Guest
What shd i do to prevent this??? this is the reason why i wan to return the house...
 

divorcing

New Member
Hi All,

I am in the process of looking for a Divorce Lawyer to handle my case.
I understand that getting a good Divorce Lawyer is one of the keys to a less traumatic process.

Does anyone (preferrably whom have gone through the process) have any good recommendations? Please PM me the information.

thks
 

zmmay

New Member
may i ask in the case of separation, if one party has another r/s , does it constitute an adultery? I thought the 3 years separation is meant to be a "cooling off" period and have another chance to reconcile? And if i am not mistaken, the status in a separation is still married right?
 

cactus_79

New Member
Adultery is adultery whether or not it happened during a period of separation.

Can file for divorce after 3 years of separation with consent, or 4 years of separation without consent.

If either party wants to reconcile during period of separation, and the other party is willing to do so, lawyers just need to withdraw the divorce proceedings papers. Can reconcile.

Of course, if one party commits adultery during period of separation and don't want to reconcile, the other party will either have to wait for the entire 3 years period to be other, or file for divorce on grounds of adultery.

Status in separation is still married cos divorce not "awarded" by court yet.
 

zmmay

New Member
i am using his lawyer when signing the DOS. Can i do not consent to the divorce after 3 years? He told me that during separation, even if one got another new r/s, its fine and the other party cannot do anything abt it. Is it true?
 

cactus_79

New Member
You can refuse to consent to divorce after 3 years, but he can file for divorce immediately after 3 years by showing that the marriage has broken down or he can wait 1 more year to divorce (separation without consent).

You cannto stop him from having a relatnioship during separation. You can only divorce him on grounds of adultery. In such a situation, you don't even need to wait for the separation period to be up, unless you have been married for less than 3 years.

It sounds like you want to hold on the marriage but he doesn't care at all. Do you really want a paper marriage which may be more painful for you in the long term?
 

generalist

New Member
Zmmay,
I am surprise that you used his lawyer in the DOS, remember a lawyer is suppose to protect the client interest. In this case, will the lawyer have a conflict of interest.

Typically 3 years after seperation, he could file for divorce, unless you could prove that during the 3 years,both are still living life together as a couple.

Did you read the content of the DOS? Most DOS will write in such a way that upon signing the DOS, both husband and wife could live the life of an unmarried person. Therefore, it is correct that even if he has a r/s. There is nothing you could do unless you could prove that his behaviour is so unbearable that you need to divorce him immediately. This might be a difficult task.
 

lonestar

New Member
Hi all,

Mine is a long story, but I'm desperate to file divorce. Unfortunately, I'm married less than 3 yrs. Similarly, I have little choice but to file DOS or prove serious depravity (which I dun really noe wat qualifies under this).
The jerk did not commit adultery. So i have no grounds. He refuses to annul, refuse to separate or divorce, and refuse to return flat to hdb etc. He simply refuse everything to make things difficult, and threaten to shift his whole family to our flat (which i currently is not staying in), n then rent out the old flat! He calls, sms etc n say horrible things, tell me he will only divorce if I pay ALL the renovation costs ~50+k or pay him 40k+upfront in cash as security if I want the flat. Basically, it feels like he is deliberately emotionally n mentally torturing me. I am stressed, depressed, n i jump at every sms/call i get nowadays, in fear it will be him...
I have no idea why he refuses to divorce when he obviously dun love me when he can tell me like commercial transaction, if i break the contract by requesting divorce, i should pay all the costs as compensation! I'm not sure if its money or if it is his ego that he refuses to divorce. He say I did nothing for him during the 3yrs of relationship. When we hadn;t fall out, he also expected me to pay ~70% of the reno instalment.

Very very lost first time in my life. He refused to grant me peace unless i pay everything. Where on earth am i going to find that much money?!

Worse thing is I still have to pretend to be strong, normal to comfort my mom, my frens n behave normal during work... this is taking serious toll on me... dunno how long can i last before i break down mentally.
 

prettycure

New Member
Hi lonestar

i understand your feeling. Im currently starting my divorce procedure. My hubby also make things difficult for me. Told me the child will follow me and the HDB will go to him but he alway interfere with my plans with my kid. Want to delay divorce just bcoz he still cant keep the flat until he's 35.

Mayb u can try to find al lawyer for consultantion. To find out wat you can actually do. There is free consultantion in community centres on a date each mth but will hv to check with the community centre on the actual date.
 

lostdevil

New Member
Hi,
I'm just considering to file my divoice and would like to have more information on this. Can anyone out there help me? How much for the expense to engage a lawyer? Both parties share the costs or the person who engage pays?
 

prettycure

New Member
Hi Sabrina

Mine is S$3k for uncontested procedure. I think the price is ard that range unless is for the low-income lawyer. The fee can be split to share by both parties.
 
Question - if we have already been separated for 3 years and 6 months and decide to buy a flat. Do we have to restart and file a new DOS again?

Our 1st HDB is fixed but I am very very reluctant to attend. He says buy this house first then when he is 35 years old next year, transfer my share of the flat to him when we divorce. Can that be done?
 

white_dove

New Member
Dear All

I have read some of the posting and my heart goes out to you. I can understand the kind of pain, sadness, lost & depression for I am going through all the same feelings now. For the benefit of all, pls do not fret for help is readily available to all woman. Free Legal Advice can be sought from Family Service Centres, CC and other Organisation. For the convenience of all I will list out a few in all the 4 geographic areas where u are staying. You have to call to check their repective schedule, when the legal counsel be around.
Those staying in the West :

Ayer Rajah CC - Tel : 65609983
Clementi CC - Tel : 67781950
CCK - Tel : 67691694
Jurong - Tel: 67920095

North :
Ace The Place (Woodlands) - Tel 68913430
Serangoon Nth - Tel : 62844137
Rivervale CC- Tel : 63120470
Woodlands(St 83) - Tel : 63689938
Ang Mo Kio - 64588222
Chong Pang CC(Yishun) - Tel : 67588258
Bishan - 62594720

East :
Eunos CC - 64486971
Fengshan CC - 64495136
Kallang - 62984582
Tampines East - 67863227

Central :
Havelock - 62723878
Kampong Klam (beach rd area) - 62905741
 

haibatrung

New Member
Hi All,

New member here. I am a divorcee and intend to put all pasts behind me but I find it there's no way to keep from my future wife when during the verification & statutory declaration. I need some helps on the following matters:

1. How the verification and statutory declaration of ROM is being done?
2. I have not broke the news of me being a divorcee to my future wife before, how should I tell her about it? Or any way that I can keep from her?

Thanks in advance for your help.

Please help me
 

icicle

New Member
I have annulled my marriage 3 years ago and my current fiance does not know about it. Can I input my status as single instead of annulled in the marriage application? Will the Registry of Marriage verify the information on the application form? Please help....Desperate...
 

milch

New Member
Dear All,

I read some messages here. I hope someone can give me some advise. I married almost 2yrs but currently we both sleeping in different room for 6 mths. And now we decided to separate but we both still want to stay together and the main purpose is to keep the house for next 3yrs. Is this allow after we both sign the separation deed? And how much is the cost? Are both parties have to pay?
 

mitlancer75

New Member
Hi, U can be separated yet staying in the same hse, different room. To safe guard both parties, u could engaged a lawyer to draft a deed of separation stating the terms and conditions and the date that you were officially separated. It should cost anything bewteen 500 - 750 (read from forum, mine cost 700, i think). A lawyer should be able to advised (some comes with free consultancy, think market bad). Usually, both parties will pay, but i no expert though. hope it helps..
 

action_scripter

New Member
Hi,

I went through the forum and was not able to find the information I require.

Would appreciate any comments from those who have already gone through this.

I have been married for 2 years and 2 months. During this time, my wife cheated on me once before and another time, just recently.

Despite giving her several last chances, I realised she has not broken off with the other person.

At the moment, we are still sharing the same room and she does not know that I know her on-going outside relationship.

As we have been married for less than 3 yrs, I can't do a divorce and believe a Deed of Separation is my only option for now.

Could someone advise the cost of doing this, and what terms I should include? Does the other partner need to be at the laywers or can i have the deed served to her myself. I will be asking her to move back to her parent's place. Can she "reject" accepting the Deed?

We are co-financing 50% 50% the loan repayment (private bank) and since day 1, I have been paying all household bills, facilities and insurances. I am 31 and we've lived in the resale HDB flat for about 2.5years. We have no kids.

I'm not sure where I stand on buying over the flat, but based on HDB rules, although I did not take any grants, nor used HDB loan, as long as I'm below 35, I cannot own the flat.

If someone can also recommend a good lawyer, please PM me contacts.

Thank you for any input.
 

prettycure

New Member
Hi action_scripter
Hi Everyone

Im married for almost 6 years and coming to the end of my marriage. Have file my divorce last year. I have a kid following me.

Accordingly to my lawyer is that my case was under unacceptable behaviour. He pratically did not do anything, even not earger to look for a job or help out in the housework or looking after the kid. I have bring the subject of divorce up 2 times and he still remain unmoved.

By the third time, i actioned and he dare to say " Got so serious meh?" Wat an ass hole....no offence......but for me, 30+ yr old guy, some more with a kid, still dunno how to think for the family but only for himself.

After which, when i talk to my lawyer or my parents on wat he did, he will alway say "aiya....all past already dun have to talk abt it again." Come on...it's wat he did in the past that led to this way. Now he is denying every thing.

I will have custody of my kid and As for the 4rm HDB, it's either i take over or sell to open market. He cannot take over bcoz of financial problem (NOT WORKING) and he is not over 35 yet.

My lawyer was not bad. quite pation with me asi ask alot of questions and call up as and when i feel unsecure. =)

Just me one cent input.
 

action_scripter

New Member
I wrote to HDB and hope to get a reply. I am under 35 and earning more than $3k, which is the limit for a 3 room flat ownership. I hope I don't need to sell, as I really like my place and it's close to my office.
 

action_scripter

New Member
Hi Pussy Cat,

Thanks for the posting. I guess it's pointless to open old wounds. Is it possible for you to PM me your lawyer's details and also his/her rates? So i can compare.

Thank you.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Hi action scripter, your case sounds pretty straightforward with no child custody or asset to fight over. If you do not foresee much a contest from your wife, suggest you go for a regular law firm and not a "branded" one.
 

prettycure

New Member
Hi action_scripter

The Law company im using is Asia Law at Toa Payoh. Rates you will have to check with them as I was refered by my old company consultant. Tel: 6222 2966.

On your HDB can also ask them or if they cant advise you, I can pass u my agent's number. She's not bad and was Asia Law's property agent.
 

cheerio

New Member
Hi, can anyone advise what actually take place in the court hearing? is it going to be a tedious process? how many court hearing will there will?

confused...
 

fitti

New Member
cheerio: There will be only be one hearing and one mediation if nothing goes wrong.

It will be quite fast.
 

prettycure

New Member
Hi cheerio

i just attended the court hearing. It was nothing. The lawyer will tell before hand to say yes to all questions they put across to you.
 

cheerio

New Member
i heard that the hearing is done together with many other couples and it only takes 5, 10min, wonder if that is true?

I wonder if that is the same for all types of divorce cases? you know, thru separation, adultery, incompatibility, unreasonable treatment, etc etc...? wont it be very chaotic in that way???

maybe coz the hearing is all short so no need to separate the couples and go one by one??
 

cheerio

New Member
i have found some details from this website:

http://www.divorce.com.sg/page2.html

hope its useful to anyone who needs it
happy.gif
 

saya

New Member
Hi cheerio, u r right. The hearing is done together with all other couples in a big room. Waiting time for your turn should be about 30-45mins.
 

saya

New Member
Hi icicle, I think its better to let him know about your past annulled marriage. Can u imagine what will happen if he found out later... things will get serious then..... I think its open to be frank & truthful to each other.... you shouldnt hide anything from him if u hv done nothing wrong... just my thought!
 

prettycure

New Member
Hi cheerio

That is very true. There will be ard 20 cases per session and all will be held in one court so everyone there will be sitting inside and listen. But all the questions asked was standard and same to all cases. Unless got drama cases, otherwise will only take 10-15 min. Waiting time will depend on wats your queue number liao.

PPG
Why does your husband wants a divorce but wanna buy a flat with you? Dun sound rite leh. Better dun buy the house with him since you are on DOS now. and if you have already buy the flat with him, <font color="ff0000">DONT TRANSFER YOUR SHARE TO HIM!!!! SELL HIM YOUR SHARE BASED ON THE EVALUVATION. </font>

icicle
I think will be much better if you are to be frank with your partner now.
 

cheerio

New Member
hi mozZ, if you sell in the open market, you will definitely get a higher price right? by transferring to him you din get any extra cash on top of valuation right??
 

cheerio

New Member
Hi pussycats, wah, got drama one ah?? hahaha... then everybody will be straining their ears to listen loh..
you been thru yours? wat are the questions? think the std confirming the details in the doc right??
 

prettycure

New Member
Mozz
If you tranfer your share, the only person who gain will be yr ex. As now the property is rising, sell your share is better. There is no way the current value is lower then the time you buy the flat. Anyway you have already done the transfer so dun think too much on it liao.

cheerio
Thats wat my lawyer told me. Some was constanted so the other party will make things difficult in the court.

mine was a short one. Questions likeyour name, address, yr kid's name, marriage was at no point of return, refer to the advertic, etc. All answer yes and it's done.
 


cheerio

New Member
I heard that for non-contested cases, only the plaintiff need to appear in the hearing, thats why my cousin dont have to appear in the hearing coz her husband is the one who wants the divorce
 

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