Support group - Divorce


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tinkywinky

Guest
Hi Suspic,

I used to follow your thread very closely although I never contributed. I'm glad to know that you are okay.

I wonder if anyone are mothers and divorced.

Or, you were in your pre-teens when your parents divorced. How did you cope?

I'm asking all these questions because I know a young boy whose parents are in the midst of a divorce and he does not seem to be able to cope.

Will be happy to receive any response in this area.

Back to Suspic, hope sunshine fills your life now.
happy.gif


Regards,
Tinkle
 
T

tinkywinky

Guest
Hi Suspic,

I used to follow your thread very closely although I never contributed. I'm glad to know that you are okay.

I wonder if anyone are mothers and divorced.

Or, you were in your pre-teens when your parents divorced. How did you cope?

I'm asking all these questions because I know a young boy whose parents are in the midst of a divorce and he does not seem to be able to cope.

Will be happy to receive any response in this area.

Back to Suspic, hope sunshine fills your life now.
happy.gif


Regards,
Tinkle
 

stressguy

New Member
Hi...

Me going to separation very soon too! My wife has been pushing for me to sign the deeds of separation and she wants to backdate it to 1.5 years..
sad.gif

I'm trying to adjust to my new life and I hope that in time to come...I can start all over again...
 

stressguy

New Member
Hi...

Me going to separation very soon too! My wife has been pushing for me to sign the deeds of separation and she wants to backdate it to 1.5 years..
sad.gif

I'm trying to adjust to my new life and I hope that in time to come...I can start all over again...
 

freespirit

New Member
Hi Helper,

I dont have any children or joint property except for some stock investments. We are trying to work on our relationship.

Hi Suspic,
I read your thread and thinks that you are very strong and brave to have gone through all the things your ex-husband puts you through.

How is the relationship with the new guy going on? Just out of curiosity, does being a christian means that we cannot remarry if we divorce and our ex-spouse is still alive?
 

freespirit

New Member
Hi Helper,

I dont have any children or joint property except for some stock investments. We are trying to work on our relationship.

Hi Suspic,
I read your thread and thinks that you are very strong and brave to have gone through all the things your ex-husband puts you through.

How is the relationship with the new guy going on? Just out of curiosity, does being a christian means that we cannot remarry if we divorce and our ex-spouse is still alive?
 
S

suspic

Guest
Hi Freespirit,

Glad to hear you are working on your relationship. After what I had gone through, I truly experienced the heartaches of a broken relationship and extreme measures to end it all. So I always hope people around me have the chance to work things out before going through the worst. Hang on! Wish you both patience, love, mercy and wisdom!

Oh, about your query, actually, no ... God forbids divorce because he meant for man and wife to live in harmony, in acceptance and tolerance and appreciation of each other to grow with. But he does allow divorce on one circumstance, that is, adultery.

As for can a divorcee remarry even though the ex-spouse is still alive ... I dont have the perfect answer still but reading from bible, except for adultery, a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her Matthew 5:32. So I guess its ok to remarry as long as the previous marriage ended on notes of non salvage due to adultery.

Hi Stressguy,

Dont know how concluded you are but wish you strength and strong faith. Strength to carry on a new life and meet new expectations. And faith to believe you will grow out of the rut and will love and have a better relationship.

But, pardon my ignorance, may I just ask, can seperation be backdated?! If so, I should have asked for my ex to backdate our annulment too.
 
S

suspic

Guest
Hi Freespirit,

Glad to hear you are working on your relationship. After what I had gone through, I truly experienced the heartaches of a broken relationship and extreme measures to end it all. So I always hope people around me have the chance to work things out before going through the worst. Hang on! Wish you both patience, love, mercy and wisdom!

Oh, about your query, actually, no ... God forbids divorce because he meant for man and wife to live in harmony, in acceptance and tolerance and appreciation of each other to grow with. But he does allow divorce on one circumstance, that is, adultery.

As for can a divorcee remarry even though the ex-spouse is still alive ... I dont have the perfect answer still but reading from bible, except for adultery, a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her Matthew 5:32. So I guess its ok to remarry as long as the previous marriage ended on notes of non salvage due to adultery.

Hi Stressguy,

Dont know how concluded you are but wish you strength and strong faith. Strength to carry on a new life and meet new expectations. And faith to believe you will grow out of the rut and will love and have a better relationship.

But, pardon my ignorance, may I just ask, can seperation be backdated?! If so, I should have asked for my ex to backdate our annulment too.
 

freespirit

New Member
Hi Suspic,

How did you managed to convince your ex to go for an annulment instead of a divorce??

Thanks for your best wishes.
 

freespirit

New Member
Hi Suspic,

How did you managed to convince your ex to go for an annulment instead of a divorce??

Thanks for your best wishes.
 

lee_mei

New Member
I've been married for 10yrs, no kid with legal speration deed of 2yrs he nvr show care on me & house things, most of the time I settled it alone. got abuse by him many time whenever he's drunk and one time got a police case along the pasir ris beach when witnesses help 2call 4 a police after seeing him wrestling me on the ground. i wanted very much 2get out of tis marriage. I'm now filing a divorce with him. he got intention 2sell away the flat but now my problem is tat he doesnt wan 2engae or c any lawyer for housing legal matter. i'm so worried he'll get more money than me for the house cos he's the 1st owner and me the 2nd owner in paper. pls help!
 

lee_mei

New Member
I've been married for 10yrs, no kid with legal speration deed of 2yrs he nvr show care on me & house things, most of the time I settled it alone. got abuse by him many time whenever he's drunk and one time got a police case along the pasir ris beach when witnesses help 2call 4 a police after seeing him wrestling me on the ground. i wanted very much 2get out of tis marriage. I'm now filing a divorce with him. he got intention 2sell away the flat but now my problem is tat he doesnt wan 2engae or c any lawyer for housing legal matter. i'm so worried he'll get more money than me for the house cos he's the 1st owner and me the 2nd owner in paper. pls help!
 

helper

New Member
Hi Mei Mei

It's very sad to hear tis kind of issue.

As for the house the HDB will return the both party which there contribute on the house accordingly. Do not afraid you will not get any money for this house.If he do not want to sell the house then let him to pay for all the debts while you just annoy him and act blur that you do not know anything.

Rite now do you still stay together with him?

Why don't you get yourself a protection form the police.All the divorce if he does not turn-up to your lawyer,after 3yrs the divorce still granted.Do not worry just keep calm as there is a way out.

If you have any enquires,feel free to email me @ [email protected]
 

helper

New Member
Hi Mei Mei

It's very sad to hear tis kind of issue.

As for the house the HDB will return the both party which there contribute on the house accordingly. Do not afraid you will not get any money for this house.If he do not want to sell the house then let him to pay for all the debts while you just annoy him and act blur that you do not know anything.

Rite now do you still stay together with him?

Why don't you get yourself a protection form the police.All the divorce if he does not turn-up to your lawyer,after 3yrs the divorce still granted.Do not worry just keep calm as there is a way out.

If you have any enquires,feel free to email me @ [email protected]
 
C

caycay

Guest
I am going to file for a divorce soon too... some time next month.

i feel that i deserve someone better.. keke
 
C

caycay

Guest
I am going to file for a divorce soon too... some time next month.

i feel that i deserve someone better.. keke
 

ordinary75

New Member
Hi caycay,

Why do you want a divorce? Has your husband committed adultery? Why dun you have a good heart to heart talk with hubby...Divorce is a serious matter...do think carefully okie ?
 

ordinary75

New Member
Hi caycay,

Why do you want a divorce? Has your husband committed adultery? Why dun you have a good heart to heart talk with hubby...Divorce is a serious matter...do think carefully okie ?
 
C

caycay

Guest
nah.. i gave him too much chance.
what do feel about a guy who doesn't work even after years of encouragement I have given to him? He just waste his years away, hanging out with his friends, MIA for 2 years etc etc.
I have put in a lot of effort and patience. But it still doesn't work. So even if he repents, it's too late.
 
C

caycay

Guest
nah.. i gave him too much chance.
what do feel about a guy who doesn't work even after years of encouragement I have given to him? He just waste his years away, hanging out with his friends, MIA for 2 years etc etc.
I have put in a lot of effort and patience. But it still doesn't work. So even if he repents, it's too late.
 

eeyore4418

New Member
Mimosa, can you tell me more about ur friend incident.. I tink i am facing the same situation and i am feeling very miserable
 

eeyore4418

New Member
Mimosa, can you tell me more about ur friend incident.. I tink i am facing the same situation and i am feeling very miserable
 

joni

New Member
wow...u managed to dig up last year's postings...

Well, it was happy ending for my fren... she got pregnant in apr03, just delivered 2 mths ago... they had to push their plans for customary wedding til Jun 04, she hopes to slim down enough by then, else can't fit in the gown.
happy.gif
We didn't dare bring up the issue of divorce, but i think they managed to settle it...

I wouldn't advise u get yourself pregnant before u marry your bf, my fren had a really rough patch during her pregnancy, kept worrying if child will be illegitimate, whether the divorce will go thru smoothly, etc... Better to wait til the divorce is settled first.

btw, this is "mimosa"... and this fren is a diff case from the one i mentioned to u in another thread... sheesh, people around me seemed to be paired up wrongly, hee, hope they find true love this time!
happy.gif
 

joni

New Member
wow...u managed to dig up last year's postings...

Well, it was happy ending for my fren... she got pregnant in apr03, just delivered 2 mths ago... they had to push their plans for customary wedding til Jun 04, she hopes to slim down enough by then, else can't fit in the gown.
happy.gif
We didn't dare bring up the issue of divorce, but i think they managed to settle it...

I wouldn't advise u get yourself pregnant before u marry your bf, my fren had a really rough patch during her pregnancy, kept worrying if child will be illegitimate, whether the divorce will go thru smoothly, etc... Better to wait til the divorce is settled first.

btw, this is "mimosa"... and this fren is a diff case from the one i mentioned to u in another thread... sheesh, people around me seemed to be paired up wrongly, hee, hope they find true love this time!
happy.gif
 
B

breakingdownmentally

Guest
The 3 years separation period is finally up but not without nightmares and emotional stress. But instead of being able to look forward to a divorce, I have more problems to worry about.

Ex-husband is out of the country, unreachable except via email. What are my options now in an event when he refuse to return for divorce/ sales of flat?

The lawyer's fee is another of my concern. How much will it amount to? Anyone with advice or lawyer recommendations, please email [email protected]
 
B

breakingdownmentally

Guest
The 3 years separation period is finally up but not without nightmares and emotional stress. But instead of being able to look forward to a divorce, I have more problems to worry about.

Ex-husband is out of the country, unreachable except via email. What are my options now in an event when he refuse to return for divorce/ sales of flat?

The lawyer's fee is another of my concern. How much will it amount to? Anyone with advice or lawyer recommendations, please email [email protected]
 
M

me

Guest
Hi , Sorry to hear abt your case.

I do not have a contact for you, sorry. Just to share my experience with you, my ex hubby was overseas too and he did not return at all for the divorce case. The lawyer will serve the papers to him in a overseas addy. Im not too sure abt ur case as my ex hubby is a foreigner as such he got no share in my flat.

I suggest you look for a lawyer, and tell the lawyer frankly that you have financial difficultities to the fees, commit a figure and pay by instalments.
 
M

me

Guest
Hi , Sorry to hear abt your case.

I do not have a contact for you, sorry. Just to share my experience with you, my ex hubby was overseas too and he did not return at all for the divorce case. The lawyer will serve the papers to him in a overseas addy. Im not too sure abt ur case as my ex hubby is a foreigner as such he got no share in my flat.

I suggest you look for a lawyer, and tell the lawyer frankly that you have financial difficultities to the fees, commit a figure and pay by instalments.
 

passby

New Member
Here is the details of my lawyer and maybe he will able to help or assist you.

Shyam Chew & Company
Tel:62230700.
Look for Joey first.

If you need help, feel free to e-mail me.
 

passby

New Member
Here is the details of my lawyer and maybe he will able to help or assist you.

Shyam Chew & Company
Tel:62230700.
Look for Joey first.

If you need help, feel free to e-mail me.
 

raintsu

New Member
i hope someone can help me. i was married in 1999, juz 9 mths after marriage my husband left me for another woman. i had a metal breakdown, commited suicide & was later admitted to a psychiatric ward. 2days after i was discharged, he prepared me a separation deed, in a daze i signed it. in the deed, i was made to agree to his $100 per mth of maintenance & also to deny of further maintenance after the divorce. 3yrs plus has past, i felt really helpless as the date of divorce is closing in, and i suffered another mental breakdown. can i claim for compensation for my mental illness and my flat has not matured so i can't sell it in the open market, and that will cause me monetary loses too, as i paid entirely for the renovation and furnishing (but he had destroyed all receipts). would i be able to claim for maintenance even when i had previously signed the separation deed already? this failed marriage nearly cost me my life and now, more money to settle a divorce which i don't deserve. i urge for a kind soul foe help.Pls email to me at: [email protected]
 

raintsu

New Member
i hope someone can help me. i was married in 1999, juz 9 mths after marriage my husband left me for another woman. i had a metal breakdown, commited suicide & was later admitted to a psychiatric ward. 2days after i was discharged, he prepared me a separation deed, in a daze i signed it. in the deed, i was made to agree to his $100 per mth of maintenance & also to deny of further maintenance after the divorce. 3yrs plus has past, i felt really helpless as the date of divorce is closing in, and i suffered another mental breakdown. can i claim for compensation for my mental illness and my flat has not matured so i can't sell it in the open market, and that will cause me monetary loses too, as i paid entirely for the renovation and furnishing (but he had destroyed all receipts). would i be able to claim for maintenance even when i had previously signed the separation deed already? this failed marriage nearly cost me my life and now, more money to settle a divorce which i don't deserve. i urge for a kind soul foe help.Pls email to me at: [email protected]
 
I

impartial

Guest
Maybe you should get legal aid to seek professional advice. You can always quote that you sign when you were of unclear mind, afterall, you have doctor's certification. My knowledge is that maintenace can be changed if the financial situation changes but has to be done thru court orders as they will assess both parties finances.

http://app10.internet.gov.sg/scripts/minlaw/lab/Default.asp?r=2

As for ur flat, you may want to seek help from HDB. I do know that there are cases where divorce/annulled couples sell their flat to open mkt without waiting for the mature period. All these are accessed case by case.

Hope this helps.
 
I

impartial

Guest
Maybe you should get legal aid to seek professional advice. You can always quote that you sign when you were of unclear mind, afterall, you have doctor's certification. My knowledge is that maintenace can be changed if the financial situation changes but has to be done thru court orders as they will assess both parties finances.

http://app10.internet.gov.sg/scripts/minlaw/lab/Default.asp?r=2

As for ur flat, you may want to seek help from HDB. I do know that there are cases where divorce/annulled couples sell their flat to open mkt without waiting for the mature period. All these are accessed case by case.

Hope this helps.
 

tubby

New Member
Hi,

I'll be finalizing my divorce soon. Hv already gone thru the depression, frustrations and everything else b4 making the decision to divorce. We hv been married for less than 2 yrs and hv been physically (not legally) separated for more than 1 yr. A reconcilation is not possible.

I've forgiven and wanna move on with my life and start life afresh. Wld like to know if there are any of you going thru the same situation as me or hv been thru this.

Perhaps you can share how long did you take to move on to a new life. How you coped and what hv you learnt? If you are dating again, how long did you take b4 you're able to date again? How did you handle this matter with yr bf's family? If you're married again, any feelings to share? I'm sure things are very different compared to if you were a single and dating/getting married.

Lastly, I wld like to wish all brides-to-be, a happy marriage. Putting all the marriage preparation aside and the glamour of a fairytale wedding aside, look into spending the rest of yr life with yr partner and make the union last. Both parties need to work together. This is a lesson I've learnt the hard way.
 

tubby

New Member
Hi,

I'll be finalizing my divorce soon. Hv already gone thru the depression, frustrations and everything else b4 making the decision to divorce. We hv been married for less than 2 yrs and hv been physically (not legally) separated for more than 1 yr. A reconcilation is not possible.

I've forgiven and wanna move on with my life and start life afresh. Wld like to know if there are any of you going thru the same situation as me or hv been thru this.

Perhaps you can share how long did you take to move on to a new life. How you coped and what hv you learnt? If you are dating again, how long did you take b4 you're able to date again? How did you handle this matter with yr bf's family? If you're married again, any feelings to share? I'm sure things are very different compared to if you were a single and dating/getting married.

Lastly, I wld like to wish all brides-to-be, a happy marriage. Putting all the marriage preparation aside and the glamour of a fairytale wedding aside, look into spending the rest of yr life with yr partner and make the union last. Both parties need to work together. This is a lesson I've learnt the hard way.
 
C

crazy guy

Guest
sometime i really wonder..couples spend so much time n $$ on wedding..in the end, cant get along n broke up...really makes me wonder wat's the point of getting married in the 1st place..
 
C

crazy guy

Guest
sometime i really wonder..couples spend so much time n $$ on wedding..in the end, cant get along n broke up...really makes me wonder wat's the point of getting married in the 1st place..
 
D

divorcee

Guest
I physically left my ex husband in 1998, legally in yr 2000. I remarried in 2003 Dec.. I think its not a matter of how long u need to move on with your life. When I got my papers in yr 2k, I was very much settled and over with the ex marriage. I have nvr regretted since. I starting socialising and know more friends.I took up a part time degree course in 2001 and completed.

I guess when I met my present hubby, I wasnt thinking of dating or anything. Just fate I guess that we got along real well and fast. We got married in abt one year. Lotsa my friends were surprised as I had a failed marraige and was marrying again after dating for one year only. I have learnt from my failed marriage, and I knew my hubby was the one for me.

There is no time frame really, i think its your mindset whether you have let go of the previous marriage, pick yourselves up and face the world in a new outlook.

As for my MIL, my hubby was a bit worried in the beginning. But after telling her, her mum din say much and ask me to go back for Dinner.

For me I have more to cope as I have a boy with me. If I can lead a happy life now, you can too.
happy.gif
 
D

divorcee

Guest
I physically left my ex husband in 1998, legally in yr 2000. I remarried in 2003 Dec.. I think its not a matter of how long u need to move on with your life. When I got my papers in yr 2k, I was very much settled and over with the ex marriage. I have nvr regretted since. I starting socialising and know more friends.I took up a part time degree course in 2001 and completed.

I guess when I met my present hubby, I wasnt thinking of dating or anything. Just fate I guess that we got along real well and fast. We got married in abt one year. Lotsa my friends were surprised as I had a failed marraige and was marrying again after dating for one year only. I have learnt from my failed marriage, and I knew my hubby was the one for me.

There is no time frame really, i think its your mindset whether you have let go of the previous marriage, pick yourselves up and face the world in a new outlook.

As for my MIL, my hubby was a bit worried in the beginning. But after telling her, her mum din say much and ask me to go back for Dinner.

For me I have more to cope as I have a boy with me. If I can lead a happy life now, you can too.
happy.gif
 
T

think twice

Guest
i divorce with my ex husband 0n 2001,though i could find someone better than him? end up i know i am totally wrong..i re married a DEVIL on 2002,,he the worst guy i been meet in my life..
 
T

think twice

Guest
i divorce with my ex husband 0n 2001,though i could find someone better than him? end up i know i am totally wrong..i re married a DEVIL on 2002,,he the worst guy i been meet in my life..
 
T

think twice

Guest
the day after my abortion,he make me climb(4 storey) to the carpark to take his car..5mth later i miscarriage
lay on k k hospital bed,he still can quarrell wit me..before he left the ward,,he stil curse on me and throw his wedding ring on me..(he don even pay any cents on my abortion fee and hospital bill),but he got the money to gamblem..end up i need to borrow money from my brother to pay my hospital bill.. he still done a lot alot of thing to hurts me...i thought to divorce with him,,but becaue of "face" i keep quiet..i think there was one thing which i belive cal "bao yin"
i throw away my ex husband,which he done nothing wrong to me... really a "bao yin" to let me meet a DEVIL...
 
T

think twice

Guest
the day after my abortion,he make me climb(4 storey) to the carpark to take his car..5mth later i miscarriage
lay on k k hospital bed,he still can quarrell wit me..before he left the ward,,he stil curse on me and throw his wedding ring on me..(he don even pay any cents on my abortion fee and hospital bill),but he got the money to gamblem..end up i need to borrow money from my brother to pay my hospital bill.. he still done a lot alot of thing to hurts me...i thought to divorce with him,,but becaue of "face" i keep quiet..i think there was one thing which i belive cal "bao yin"
i throw away my ex husband,which he done nothing wrong to me... really a "bao yin" to let me meet a DEVIL...
 
T

think twice

Guest
i divorce wit my ex husband..now i am thinkin to divorce my present husband..i really cant stand on him..2nd divorce ..how am i going to face my friends..
 


T

think twice

Guest
i divorce wit my ex husband..now i am thinkin to divorce my present husband..i really cant stand on him..2nd divorce ..how am i going to face my friends..
 

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