Support group - Divorce

[maneater]

Hi fear

You better go get a PPO to protect yourself first and if he ever lay his hands on you again DO press charges on him.

Some men just never keep their promises and never change.

They only think for themselves...do not hesitate further to get a PPO asap and stop this worrying once and for all.

Maybe go counselling and see if this helpful, otherwise, the next step is to divorce, since you are still young and without any children yet.

It will be more painful to carrying on your life with such a man if you have children to consider.

Better to break free now and move on.

 

[fear]

Xi lang kia/maneater

If I get a PPO, what do I need? Will there be any charges? Do I have to look for a lawyer?

I am very scare that even with PPO, he will still get me easily and find more trouble with me? Can the police really protect me 24hrs? I don't think so, right?

No point getting a PPO as I think that he can still create problems at my work place.

Should I call CID to handle since police nowadays very busy?

I hope if any lady here do overcome my experience before, kindly drop me few lines on how you handle it.

Thank you and I appreciate it.

 

[fear]

Xi lang kia/maneater

If I get a PPO, what do I need? Will there be any charges? Do I have to look for a lawyer?

I am very scare that even with PPO, he will still get me easily and find more trouble with me? Can the police really protect me 24hrs? I don't think so, right?

No point getting a PPO as I think that he can still create problems at my work place.

Should I call CID to handle since police nowadays very busy?

I hope if any lady here do overcome my experience before, kindly drop me few lines on how you handle it.

Thank you and I appreciate it.

 

[down]

Hi,
could anybody help to clear some of my doubts? i have been married about 4 years. i m planning to divorce with my husband. As same problem like crayon, my flat is less than 5 years, about 4 years. i have few qustion here if anybody can help,
1) during apply for annulment, before granted the decree nisi absolute, can i still hold the flat not for sale ? the flat must be sold before or after obtaining the decree nisi absolute ? i was thinking i might still able to avoid surrender the flat to HDB for 90% purchase price since the filling and processing of annulment by court may take an year time.
2) from the whole string of posted messages above, can i conclude that for the normal procedure, hearing will be given on the 6th weeks of the filling and the decree nisi will only be granted after 3-4 months after the hearing. And, after another 3-4 months i would be granted decree nisi absolute. am i right? if that is the case, i can still own my flat until the decree nisi absolute is granted. once i got that my flat will be just over 5 years then i would be to seek for the buyer and able to sell it with open market price.
3) i hear from some of my friend said, the annulment could be rejected by the court. how can i make sure my divorce is a successful one? ask my current my husband to 'help' to tell court we don't have sex for more than 3 years to fulfill the separation although we still stay together ? or can we just divorce without any reason ? i don't think court would accept that, am i right ?
4) could anybody provide me the contact for lawyer with low lawyer fees? my email address is [email protected]

i wish to end this marriage and also hoping to sell my flat with the fair price......we might be able to earn 60-80K if sell it after 5 years. this amount is really huge for me.......it is not easy to save such big amt in few years time, so i really don't want lose it.....meanwhile i need to divorce as soon as possible....really in dilemma......

 

[down]

Hi,
could anybody help to clear some of my doubts? i have been married about 4 years. i m planning to divorce with my husband. As same problem like crayon, my flat is less than 5 years, about 4 years. i have few qustion here if anybody can help,
1) during apply for annulment, before granted the decree nisi absolute, can i still hold the flat not for sale ? the flat must be sold before or after obtaining the decree nisi absolute ? i was thinking i might still able to avoid surrender the flat to HDB for 90% purchase price since the filling and processing of annulment by court may take an year time.
2) from the whole string of posted messages above, can i conclude that for the normal procedure, hearing will be given on the 6th weeks of the filling and the decree nisi will only be granted after 3-4 months after the hearing. And, after another 3-4 months i would be granted decree nisi absolute. am i right? if that is the case, i can still own my flat until the decree nisi absolute is granted. once i got that my flat will be just over 5 years then i would be to seek for the buyer and able to sell it with open market price.
3) i hear from some of my friend said, the annulment could be rejected by the court. how can i make sure my divorce is a successful one? ask my current my husband to 'help' to tell court we don't have sex for more than 3 years to fulfill the separation although we still stay together ? or can we just divorce without any reason ? i don't think court would accept that, am i right ?
4) could anybody provide me the contact for lawyer with low lawyer fees? my email address is [email protected]

i wish to end this marriage and also hoping to sell my flat with the fair price......we might be able to earn 60-80K if sell it after 5 years. this amount is really huge for me.......it is not easy to save such big amt in few years time, so i really don't want lose it.....meanwhile i need to divorce as soon as possible....really in dilemma......

 

[strawberry78]

my HB also overseas - indo chinese, want to divorce cos love die but we only married 2 years 3 months, and baby 9 months, so must wait till 3 years marriage then can file divorce

beginning i also very sad but now realize i don't want to cry for that fickle minded jerk

we got no third party but he keep saying he got no more feeling for me - since he feel this way cos of his parents pressure i dont want to pursue anymore. he cannot grow up - all his life, he always choose easy path and no responsibility

now got baby, house, wife to take care, he freak out and run back to indonesia - then why first place come for me, promise me to go where-ever i go, wah so romantic now full of shit.

next time eyes open big big, dun paste stamp, run far far away from jerks

people make mistake, if he dun want anymore, you can cry, be sad, get angry, then move on - plan your own future and baby too (if already got kid), make sure financially sound and set up support network. people around u who are real friend will support u, if not, they not worth your feeling and time. be smart and dun fall for the same trick anymore

let him go - sometime rship got to die, let it die, no point forcing to be alive again cos it might come back and haunt u someday

since now still young, got time and energy, start all over again - still got chance

tis is modern singapore

wat more afraid is that you don't give yourself chance

 

[strawberry78]

my HB also overseas - indo chinese, want to divorce cos love die but we only married 2 years 3 months, and baby 9 months, so must wait till 3 years marriage then can file divorce

beginning i also very sad but now realize i don't want to cry for that fickle minded jerk

we got no third party but he keep saying he got no more feeling for me - since he feel this way cos of his parents pressure i dont want to pursue anymore. he cannot grow up - all his life, he always choose easy path and no responsibility

now got baby, house, wife to take care, he freak out and run back to indonesia - then why first place come for me, promise me to go where-ever i go, wah so romantic now full of shit.

next time eyes open big big, dun paste stamp, run far far away from jerks

people make mistake, if he dun want anymore, you can cry, be sad, get angry, then move on - plan your own future and baby too (if already got kid), make sure financially sound and set up support network. people around u who are real friend will support u, if not, they not worth your feeling and time. be smart and dun fall for the same trick anymore

let him go - sometime rship got to die, let it die, no point forcing to be alive again cos it might come back and haunt u someday

since now still young, got time and energy, start all over again - still got chance

tis is modern singapore

wat more afraid is that you don't give yourself chance

 

[fear]

strawberry,

If I am not wrong, you at 26 years old (78)

I read your the other thread... maybe you should call it end... I am calling mine.

Well, it's just fate and gotta face it.

 

[fear]

strawberry,

If I am not wrong, you at 26 years old (78)

I read your the other thread... maybe you should call it end... I am calling mine.

Well, it's just fate and gotta face it.

 

[strawberry78]

anyone out there divorce mom or not??? tel me how u move on leh - need lotsa advice

 

[strawberry78]

anyone out there divorce mom or not??? tel me how u move on leh - need lotsa advice

 

[dingo_beans]

So many dreams shattered...
So many questions unanswered..
So many problems unresolved...
I think I go die better..
Do you think so too?
Am thinking of forming selfhelp online chat.
A place to talk our heart out and be listened.
Any idea?
Anybody?

 

[dingo_beans]

So many dreams shattered...
So many questions unanswered..
So many problems unresolved...
I think I go die better..
Do you think so too?
Am thinking of forming selfhelp online chat.
A place to talk our heart out and be listened.
Any idea?
Anybody?

 

[dingo_beans]

There's a lot of divorced men out there. Wishing to form an union with you and take care of your baby and you. Don't be despair. Life is not over. Take care.

 

[dingo_beans]

There's a lot of divorced men out there. Wishing to form an union with you and take care of your baby and you. Don't be despair. Life is not over. Take care.

 

[dingo_beans]

Sorry.. I meant to say a lot of GOOD divorced and unwedded men out there.
There's a lot of self-help article in the web out there. Go check it out..
Which area of help are you looking out for..
Financially.. Childcare.. Emotionally.. Legally..
Give me more details so that we can help to forward.
Take care. The world is not over.

 

[dingo_beans]

Sorry.. I meant to say a lot of GOOD divorced and unwedded men out there.
There's a lot of self-help article in the web out there. Go check it out..
Which area of help are you looking out for..
Financially.. Childcare.. Emotionally.. Legally..
Give me more details so that we can help to forward.
Take care. The world is not over.

 

[nafnaf]

don't be upset. i have been through all that..
u will come out from it stronger than u ever were.

 

[nafnaf]

don't be upset. i have been through all that..
u will come out from it stronger than u ever were.

 

[crayon2512]

hi helping hand,
i have checked with my lawyer again.He says annullment is possible if the other party is agreeable to it but the other party had to engage another lawyer to do it for us.

The condition that my other party requested is that he does not want to do all this calling and paper work stuff..instead he only want to sign paper and that is it.I wil have to foot the lawyer bil if i want to opt for annulment. No hassle. I am not sure if i can get him a laywer on his behalf?

Hi Down,
Think we should all try to go for annulment if possible ..the money that we can earn in 5yrs time would not be able to compensate for the single status. I have given it a thought..that its pointless to hang on to flat, no one knows wat is the property market by then. $$ can be earned back.

 

[crayon2512]

hi helping hand,
i have checked with my lawyer again.He says annullment is possible if the other party is agreeable to it but the other party had to engage another lawyer to do it for us.

The condition that my other party requested is that he does not want to do all this calling and paper work stuff..instead he only want to sign paper and that is it.I wil have to foot the lawyer bil if i want to opt for annulment. No hassle. I am not sure if i can get him a laywer on his behalf?

Hi Down,
Think we should all try to go for annulment if possible ..the money that we can earn in 5yrs time would not be able to compensate for the single status. I have given it a thought..that its pointless to hang on to flat, no one knows wat is the property market by then. $$ can be earned back.

 

[sick&tired]

strawberry,

I am going through with my wife now whereby she initiated it...

I spend alot of time with my friends, do housework (flat not sold yet), spend time with own family, wash and polish car, spending time to set up my own company...

Anyway, life really upside down for me. Though I have been doing all the above things, but everything that she did to me will still comes to mind. Sometimes now, I really love and miss her alot though she wanted the divorce, but I know she will never turn to me again.

I did nothing wrong, but I suspect that she is seeing another man. I can't stop her, but I have to move on with my life.

My life is really very unfair... All these years, I have been a good boyfriend and husband. I cooked, clean the house, doing laundry, picking her up from work, buying her favourite food, spending all my times with her, faithful and caring for her... But she ended up with a meaningless life for me.

Many times with my friends and family, I also don't know how to put in words to tell them about it, but I can tell you for sure, they will encourage you to look at the bright side and move on with life.

Just don't think so much and keep that life going on.

 

[sick&tired]

strawberry,

I am going through with my wife now whereby she initiated it...

I spend alot of time with my friends, do housework (flat not sold yet), spend time with own family, wash and polish car, spending time to set up my own company...

Anyway, life really upside down for me. Though I have been doing all the above things, but everything that she did to me will still comes to mind. Sometimes now, I really love and miss her alot though she wanted the divorce, but I know she will never turn to me again.

I did nothing wrong, but I suspect that she is seeing another man. I can't stop her, but I have to move on with my life.

My life is really very unfair... All these years, I have been a good boyfriend and husband. I cooked, clean the house, doing laundry, picking her up from work, buying her favourite food, spending all my times with her, faithful and caring for her... But she ended up with a meaningless life for me.

Many times with my friends and family, I also don't know how to put in words to tell them about it, but I can tell you for sure, they will encourage you to look at the bright side and move on with life.

Just don't think so much and keep that life going on.

 

[xi lang kia]

sick&tired

no head no tail she initiate divorce. i suggest u hire a private detective to find out and gain evidence, let her bare the full responsiblities. mai gong! cannot make things too easy for her lah then she will take for granted now & in future. furthermore u r not at fault.

 

[xi lang kia]

sick&tired

no head no tail she initiate divorce. i suggest u hire a private detective to find out and gain evidence, let her bare the full responsiblities. mai gong! cannot make things too easy for her lah then she will take for granted now & in future. furthermore u r not at fault.

 

[dingo_beans]

Sick&tired.
In same shoe with you la.
There's couple of us together.
Let me know if you wanna join us to share your grivances.

 

[dingo_beans]

Sick&tired.
In same shoe with you la.
There's couple of us together.
Let me know if you wanna join us to share your grivances.

 

[joni]

Strawberry78,
Read some of your postings, i'm sorry to hear abt your predicament, but i find it strange why u have to be the one looking for lawyers etc, cos if he is the one who wants to call it quits, then he should jolly well get off his butt and do it himself! Unless u are more eager than him to divorce? But it doesn't sound like that from wat u wrote... Btw, when u do find a lawyer, get legal advice as to wat is in your best interests, is it really better for u not to take alimony, etc. Cos if he is really such a bastard like u describe, better dun trust his words.

Last but not least, i just want to wish everyone in this thread that u'll find your own happiness, whether u chose to remain single or to remarry or to woo your spouse all over again, the most impt thing is to be true to yourself and dun give up the fight to be happy. Take care!

 

[joni]

Strawberry78,
Read some of your postings, i'm sorry to hear abt your predicament, but i find it strange why u have to be the one looking for lawyers etc, cos if he is the one who wants to call it quits, then he should jolly well get off his butt and do it himself! Unless u are more eager than him to divorce? But it doesn't sound like that from wat u wrote... Btw, when u do find a lawyer, get legal advice as to wat is in your best interests, is it really better for u not to take alimony, etc. Cos if he is really such a bastard like u describe, better dun trust his words.

Last but not least, i just want to wish everyone in this thread that u'll find your own happiness, whether u chose to remain single or to remarry or to woo your spouse all over again, the most impt thing is to be true to yourself and dun give up the fight to be happy. Take care!

 

[helping hand]

Hi Crayon,

I'm glad to u have thought it over and not hanging on to ur marital status due to flat. You want to seek second opinion? For my hubby's annulment, he din seek a lawyer. It was his ex- wife who file for annulment and paid all the fees. All he did was to go down to her lawyer office to sign the papers, thats all..

I'm really not sure what ur lawyer means by annulment can only be done if you get another lawyer to act on ur hubby's behalf.

 

[helping hand]

Hi Crayon,

I'm glad to u have thought it over and not hanging on to ur marital status due to flat. You want to seek second opinion? For my hubby's annulment, he din seek a lawyer. It was his ex- wife who file for annulment and paid all the fees. All he did was to go down to her lawyer office to sign the papers, thats all..

I'm really not sure what ur lawyer means by annulment can only be done if you get another lawyer to act on ur hubby's behalf.

 

[sign..sian]

Strawberry78

Understand your feeling. Becoz you love him too much and also now you got a kid to looked and now you are sad & confused.

Since he's oversea and not bother to come back, why not go and find a good lawyer to fight for your case. And make sure you demand maintenance from him and increase the amt every year.

Don't be too soft hearted already. Jus sick with man behave like that. Meanwhile you got to be strong for your kid and urself. Don't cry over a spilt milk. Jus fight for ur right. Life doesn't end here. You got a beautiful kid and bright future ahead of you. Don't let that bastard and his family to looked down on you.

Reading from this thread, you got alots of friends out there giving you moral support. Pls take care of urself and your kid.

 

[sign..sian]

Strawberry78

Understand your feeling. Becoz you love him too much and also now you got a kid to looked and now you are sad & confused.

Since he's oversea and not bother to come back, why not go and find a good lawyer to fight for your case. And make sure you demand maintenance from him and increase the amt every year.

Don't be too soft hearted already. Jus sick with man behave like that. Meanwhile you got to be strong for your kid and urself. Don't cry over a spilt milk. Jus fight for ur right. Life doesn't end here. You got a beautiful kid and bright future ahead of you. Don't let that bastard and his family to looked down on you.

Reading from this thread, you got alots of friends out there giving you moral support. Pls take care of urself and your kid.

 

[sick&tired]

Ivan,

I would love to join, but don't really know what your group is all about. Would you want to briefly tell me so that I could prepare myself?

Sometimes I think it's good to group together to discuss about it lor, at least we can really share the exact feeling and understand each othersituation better... Btw, how old are you?

To all the guys that share on the same roof: WE HAVE BEEN A GOOD HUSBAND, WE HAVE KEPT OUR VOW ON THE DAY IN FORTCANNING. WE WILL GO ON WITH LIFE EVEN BETTER WITHOUT OUR THE OTHER HALF. WE WILL PROVE THEM THEIR CHOICE IS WRONG AND REGRET FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE!

God Bless!

 

[sick&tired]

Ivan,

I would love to join, but don't really know what your group is all about. Would you want to briefly tell me so that I could prepare myself?

Sometimes I think it's good to group together to discuss about it lor, at least we can really share the exact feeling and understand each othersituation better... Btw, how old are you?

To all the guys that share on the same roof: WE HAVE BEEN A GOOD HUSBAND, WE HAVE KEPT OUR VOW ON THE DAY IN FORTCANNING. WE WILL GO ON WITH LIFE EVEN BETTER WITHOUT OUR THE OTHER HALF. WE WILL PROVE THEM THEIR CHOICE IS WRONG AND REGRET FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE!

God Bless!

 

[strawberry78]

wah thank you everyone.

gg 2 his brother wedding in jakarta with baby tomorrow....want to divorce me still force me to go, i asked y, he threatened messy divorce if i dun show up and show nice picture to his family friends and relatives, cos his mother embarassed if we dont go. so sad, his bro wedding and we divorcing.

reason i got to look 4 lawyer cos he claims he is away...in indo, so i have to sell our house and use the proceeds to find lawyer (not much left from his share cos price drop alot and we pay up 50-50)

fren recommend fortune teller auntie today, damn funny, tell me her life story - her husband was the bo-chap selfish type, and she said she fight until she vommit blood and had to be sent to hospital. she got 7 kids all grown up now, didn't say much, except that if my husband want to divorce, then let him be, take things easy and let go...say got someone new in my life...how come i dunno leh. then say, if divorce now, should wait till 35 then marry again...

funny thing is - i see about 4 different fortune tellers, 3 aunties and 1 uncle, fren recommend, and all of them say the same thing

maybe becoz they study from the same book...

on leave today - boss and colleagues called my hp five times... feeling abit run down, got so many responsibilities everywhere.

hope can sell studio fast...like no buyer, wait until want to faint* too...

work so many surprises...heart attack

baby is so cute and exhausting (got to thank my mom for her help) or even more exhausting

husband add so much more stress n heartache...

my life is really tough, no wonder they say i got lau lu ming....oh well, see how this weekend, got to stay in husband family house, so awkard, everyone knows we divorcing already, and his brother getting married, what a joke,

hope my baby won't cry too much there, cos recognize place and plane ride won't be too tough,

 

[strawberry78]

wah thank you everyone.

gg 2 his brother wedding in jakarta with baby tomorrow....want to divorce me still force me to go, i asked y, he threatened messy divorce if i dun show up and show nice picture to his family friends and relatives, cos his mother embarassed if we dont go. so sad, his bro wedding and we divorcing.

reason i got to look 4 lawyer cos he claims he is away...in indo, so i have to sell our house and use the proceeds to find lawyer (not much left from his share cos price drop alot and we pay up 50-50)

fren recommend fortune teller auntie today, damn funny, tell me her life story - her husband was the bo-chap selfish type, and she said she fight until she vommit blood and had to be sent to hospital. she got 7 kids all grown up now, didn't say much, except that if my husband want to divorce, then let him be, take things easy and let go...say got someone new in my life...how come i dunno leh. then say, if divorce now, should wait till 35 then marry again...

funny thing is - i see about 4 different fortune tellers, 3 aunties and 1 uncle, fren recommend, and all of them say the same thing

maybe becoz they study from the same book...

on leave today - boss and colleagues called my hp five times... feeling abit run down, got so many responsibilities everywhere.

hope can sell studio fast...like no buyer, wait until want to faint* too...

work so many surprises...heart attack

baby is so cute and exhausting (got to thank my mom for her help) or even more exhausting

husband add so much more stress n heartache...

my life is really tough, no wonder they say i got lau lu ming....oh well, see how this weekend, got to stay in husband family house, so awkard, everyone knows we divorcing already, and his brother getting married, what a joke,

hope my baby won't cry too much there, cos recognize place and plane ride won't be too tough,

 

[sick&tired]

Ivan,

Just be strong... Like I said on the other thread, I am also going through.

One of my friend also going through NOW... That's life, we just need to share a listening ears and move on with life as far as possible.

You can drop me a email at [email protected] if you want to express your situation with me and maybe we can form up a group?

Just take good care and don't think so much.

 

[sick&tired]

Ivan,

Just be strong... Like I said on the other thread, I am also going through.

One of my friend also going through NOW... That's life, we just need to share a listening ears and move on with life as far as possible.

You can drop me a email at [email protected] if you want to express your situation with me and maybe we can form up a group?

Just take good care and don't think so much.

 

[sixth_sense]

Hi Sick&tired..

I'm also in the same predicament as you...
We intend to sign the DOS soon as she wants to have a peace of mind...
Read your posting and can really understand and feel wat u r going thru..
If there is such a group...would like to join too..

 

[sixth_sense]

Hi Sick&tired..

I'm also in the same predicament as you...
We intend to sign the DOS soon as she wants to have a peace of mind...
Read your posting and can really understand and feel wat u r going thru..
If there is such a group...would like to join too..

 

[depression]

Sorry everyone...

I am going through depression, I would like to ask few questions:

My husband wants to divorce due to the reason that I have been treating him badly (screaming and threatening him)

He consulted his lawyer and he spoken to me last weekend that he wants me to sign the divorce documents. I told him that I will not sign anything because I still loves him alot, but he is heartless and insisted that he has told his lawyer to process all legal documents...

Our flat is only a year old, and I wanted to keep our flat. I love my flat since the day we got our keys. I am also helping to pay monthly renovation loan.

Will I not be divorce if I don't sign anything? If I receive his lawyer letter, do I need to attend court?

If no choice, will I be able to fight the flat for my own and register my sister name as well? Will I be able to escape the renovation loan and let him settle the full amount?

I really need help and advice because I don't know anything about all this legal documents and action that my husband gonna give me to sign. I tendered my resignation from my job and I am really suffering now.

Please advice me all the things that I need to prepare or what can I do to avoid him for asking me to pay for damages.

 

[depression]

Sorry everyone...

I am going through depression, I would like to ask few questions:

My husband wants to divorce due to the reason that I have been treating him badly (screaming and threatening him)

He consulted his lawyer and he spoken to me last weekend that he wants me to sign the divorce documents. I told him that I will not sign anything because I still loves him alot, but he is heartless and insisted that he has told his lawyer to process all legal documents...

Our flat is only a year old, and I wanted to keep our flat. I love my flat since the day we got our keys. I am also helping to pay monthly renovation loan.

Will I not be divorce if I don't sign anything? If I receive his lawyer letter, do I need to attend court?

If no choice, will I be able to fight the flat for my own and register my sister name as well? Will I be able to escape the renovation loan and let him settle the full amount?

I really need help and advice because I don't know anything about all this legal documents and action that my husband gonna give me to sign. I tendered my resignation from my job and I am really suffering now.

Please advice me all the things that I need to prepare or what can I do to avoid him for asking me to pay for damages.

 

[sixth_sense]

Hi depression,

Read ur post and can understand your predicament.
As far as i know...both of u can only file for divorce after a 3 year separation period...off course there is way to shorten the waiting period..another is to go for annulment which has been discussed in other threads in this forum.

If u really want to keep the flat...i think u can only do so with your parents (provided they are not owning any other HDB flat)...as for sibling..not v sure but seems like cannot.
As for renovation loan..if the loan is taken under both party names..then legally he can request you to share 1/2 of the reno loan

I really hope that u r coping well cos u will need the courage to face the problem n it is not time for u to give up...inbetween..did u try to talk to him or go for marriage counselling??
ppl tends to say hurtful words in the moment of heat...maybe both of u should cool down and give each other some space to reflect on the problem that both of u are facing...
But if things really are beyond reconciliation, then it is better to brace yourself up and deals with it when it comes...

Always remember this...there are ppl out there that face the same problem as u...so u r not the only one that is left to face this problem...Many ppl have been through this and i'm sure that you could do it too...Give yourself confidence and regain back your self-esteem...cos life is only going to get better in the future...a lot depends on you to pull yourself up...

 

[sixth_sense]

Hi depression,

Read ur post and can understand your predicament.
As far as i know...both of u can only file for divorce after a 3 year separation period...off course there is way to shorten the waiting period..another is to go for annulment which has been discussed in other threads in this forum.

If u really want to keep the flat...i think u can only do so with your parents (provided they are not owning any other HDB flat)...as for sibling..not v sure but seems like cannot.
As for renovation loan..if the loan is taken under both party names..then legally he can request you to share 1/2 of the reno loan

I really hope that u r coping well cos u will need the courage to face the problem n it is not time for u to give up...inbetween..did u try to talk to him or go for marriage counselling??
ppl tends to say hurtful words in the moment of heat...maybe both of u should cool down and give each other some space to reflect on the problem that both of u are facing...
But if things really are beyond reconciliation, then it is better to brace yourself up and deals with it when it comes...

Always remember this...there are ppl out there that face the same problem as u...so u r not the only one that is left to face this problem...Many ppl have been through this and i'm sure that you could do it too...Give yourself confidence and regain back your self-esteem...cos life is only going to get better in the future...a lot depends on you to pull yourself up...

 

[depression]

Sixth sense

Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it very much.

I don't wish to sign anything lor because it's only a small matter. I don't know why he can't discuss and resolve things beyween ourselves. I did mentioned to go for marriage counselling, but he refused and insisted.

I fear to lose him and weak at this moment. I have not been sleeping for the past few nights. I don't know how to face my working colleagues and family at this moment especially I moved in to our new flat about a year ago and I am now staying alone. The only person that I could speaks to me now is the computer.

My colleagues were shocked that I tendered my resignation and I did not give them the reason. My mum has been calling me and asking why I have not been going home for dinner during the weekend with my husband. I have been giving excuses that we are both busy working etc etc

I really cannot accept the fact that my husband is doing this to me. I have been crying everytime when I am alone. I am avoiding all calls from my HP. I am down, very very down.

I hope that anyone that had or facing the same problem as I am now, please advice how you overcome and handle the situation.

 

[depression]

sixth sense,

I read your the other thread, you going through as well? How long you been going through? What actually happen and how you handle with all the documents? How much does it cost etc....

 

[dingo_beans]

sick&tired. Agree with you completely. When I say the vow, I really meant to take care of her for rich or poor, for pretty or ugly till the rest of my life.

I've wasted 36 yrs now. There's only couple of us now and looking to meet more. (help others and help myself). We share experience and grievances. Share matters close to heart such as sorry to see parents sad, how to handle relatives questionings in Chinese New year. methods to overcome blues etc.

While the gathering is never religious. I believe there's a reason why God arranged this for us. We grew to be stronger and get to know about love and life better. Isn't it?
Don't be despair. He's behind us.

 

[depression]

Cindy

Sorry to hear about your matter...

I think I might end up like you. I hope you are doing fine now? I want to know how you handle and overcome the whole situation... Please let me know...

 

[dingo_beans]

Thanks guys.
It's "nice" to know that so many others are in the same shoe. *haha*

We normally gather in open space (next to kopi tiam) in Toa Payoh Lor 8 (convenient as central of Singapore).

Time is never fixed. Whenever anybody feel blues and want someone to talk to, we'll gather to help ease the blues. Eat Kuay Chup, chicken wing and drink beer. Atmosphere is relax and informal.

sixth sense: join mai?