From this thread, TPK, i guess u r not married... Otherwise, if u are, i guess ur relationship for ur marriage is not the type where u get to go thru thick n thin with... the type which have a lot of difficulties that make u go crazy... u simply have a blissful smooth marriage or a plain one.
Cos i notice, u r very revengeful and agressive.
In Love and relationship for all generally, its not easy for a wife to accept her husband who cheat.
Even if she knows, if she is considering for the child, she can choose to sacrifice her life happiness for her child to have a complete family. Both husband and wife will have a mutual agreement that each other have their ow private life and so on...
Its not easy... to say divorce and get divorce. After all, marriage is one important decision made when both are deeply in love. Unless, with reasons den divorce is easy.
I myself did question (J) and myself, does he still miss and love (HL) his wife??
Though (J) answer me No, and that he does not want to talk about her anymore and that he jus wants to concentrate on building our relationship better, i know in my heart that there's a high possibility that he still misses or loves her.
Otherwise, he will not choose to marry her 2 years ago and have a child together. It's his deep love for his to make a decision like that. And having loved deeply, how can it be so easily replaced?
Seriously, the chance of both (J) and (HL) get together is low. Unless, something change.
I have decided and told him that, i will love him and give him my trust till April. If till then , i dont see any divorce proceedings, i will leave.
(HL) have sleep with so many people and many of the people also know. If he goes back to her, dont u think he is disgraced? Furthermore, she has nothing for him to go back to, except the child.
I have a lot more to give than her and i will share and give everything to him and my future for him if his love for me is true.
I agree man do cheat. And honestly, only those who is 100% scare of wife or love the wife, then the man will not cheat.
However, that is only 10% of the man left in this world.
I have seen married mans sleeping with my frens and classmates. Its being common already. Jus be statin the fact, everytime for 30 years see the same face and same body also will get bored. Sometimes see hot face and sexy body will get turn on. When they het turn on, they will lust.
First few times, feel guilty... Thereafter , they will be a fact and regular thing.
Frankly speaking, even if in future, my husband cheat, i will forgive him too. As long as he promise to keep his condom on and no feelings involve will be best. I mean finding prositute.
However, if he ever have an affair and involves feelin, if no child probably ask if he wans a divorce. IF got child, will ask him to continue be a good and responsible husband and father, fulfil his duties and i will close one eye.
In (J) case, he probably need a mother for his child. Probably, also, been cheated by his wife already, he will also treasure his second marriage more.
However, there's also a posibility that he is hurt by his wife and no trust left for me.
But in everything, time will tell .. & i will know... Time also heals all wounds and build the trust.
In all, if i still fail in this relationship or not, i thank u for all ur advise.
I choose this path and i will walk on no matter wad. i will have no regrets and will always keep the memories inside me. Life is short and only once, if i give him up... i probably will regret that i never give him and me a chance.... But if it fails, at least i tried my best... I will be a good mother to his daughter.
I wan to thank u all for removing my anger and self denial and to love his daughter back again... She will be coming over to my house for CNY... To see my parents.
My parents wanted to get a Xmas present last year, but it was early and i wasnt prepared.
If my love and relationship is easily removed, and doubt, i guess i wasnt really love him and i was only tryin to love him...
Thank you for making me realise that i really love him and no matter wad, i still need to trust him and that this love is unconditional to make it special and true...
Thank you!
En Xuan