Hi JJ,
I didn't do GDL, an chuang and all those things, mainly because both our parents agreed that there was no need to do them. I suggest that both sides meet up and discuss these together, to avoid future misunderstandings.
I don't really care about what's on the kua. To me, dragons and phoenixes do not represent the devil, they're just mythical animals. I didn't wear the kua for the reason that I found it stifling and heavy, so I wore a cheongsam instead.