Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

September 2023

7 Simple Things Grooms Can Do To Play An Active Role In The Wedding Planning

Grooms, it’s time to share the planning load and play an active role in your wedding planning with these seven simple things.

Like your wedding day, your wedding planning is a one-of-a-kind experience that belongs to only both you and your fiancée. It can also be an overwhelming and stressful journey as planning a celebration as grand as your wedding requires a lot of time and mental workload, so don’t let your love handle the wedding planning all on her own.

Be an active participant in this unique journey by sharing the responsibilities and workload with your fiancée. Not only will it demonstrate your investment in the journey to your big day, it also shows your love and support for her, creating irreplaceable memories and experiences that only you and your fiancée share. To motivate grooms to be an active participant in this unique journey, we’ve listed out seven simple things they can do to be present and committed to their wedding planning journey.

1. Show a genuine interest in the wedding planning

Vivian and Nicklaus’s Fun and Nostalgic Pre-Wedding Shoot in Vibrant Traditional Chinese Outfits by Freddy Wong Photography

As much as you want your fiancée to have the wedding of her dreams, leaving her to plan the entire wedding without being involved is not the way to show how much you love and indulge her just to make her happy. You can show a genuine interest in the wedding planning and be involved, and still give her a wedding of her dreams by actively participating in discussions and the decision making process, even if the little details don’t make much of a difference to you, or you don’t end up being the one making the final call.

2. Offer support and encouragement

Tabitha and Sean’s White Wedding at Raffles Hotel Singapore and Min Jiang at Dempsey by Fiona and Dan from Smittenpixels Photography

An easy way to be an active groom is to offer support and encouragement to your fiancée as she takes on the bulk of the wedding planning. Lend her a listening ear when she needs to talk through her options and offer constructive feedback or opinions when she needs help making a decision.

Wedding planning can get stressful, so if you notice her getting a little overwhelmed, help take her mind off wedding matters by bringing her out for a romantic date night out or couple spa session. You can also volunteer to help out with tasks that she rather not handle, such as dealing with logistics and searching for wedding vendors such as your solemniser or a wedding band, or offer to run errands or make appointments on her behalf, to help lighten her workload.

3. Take responsibility for your side of the guest list

Abigail and Brendan’s Enchanted Meadow Church Wedding by Highest Kite Weddings

Pull your weight for the wedding planning by taking responsibility for managing your side of the guest list, so your fiancée can focus on the other tasks on her wedding planning to-do list. That means, you’ll be the point of contact and coordinator for your side of the family and friends, and the mediator should any issues arise. Any essential information about the wedding that needs to be relayed to them will be handled by you, and you will provide your fiancée with the names and number of guests on your side, so you can prepare a seating plan for the wedding.

You may choose to delegate this responsibility to one of your groomsmen on the day of the wedding, so that you can fully enjoy your once-in-a-lifetime without having to deal with the nitty gritty details.

4. Plan for your and your groomsmen’s outfits

Sheena and Vivegan’s Stellar at 1-Altitude Wedding with Bold Florals by Thomas Tan Photography

Be responsible for your wedding outfit and take the initiative to search for a suit that not only reflects your personal style, but also complements the wedding dress your fiancée has chosen or will be choosing, instead of waiting for her to suggest some options for you.

Don’t forget to coordinate your groomsmen’s outfits as well! Take the initiative and find out what the bridesmaids are wearing, or if there is a specific themed outfit that your fiancée would like the bridal party to dress up in. If your groomsmen are required to dress in a classic black suit, most of them would not have a problem preparing the outfit as they are likely to own at least a set of the essential white shirt, and black blazer and dress pants.

However, if you require a different coloured suit or a special themed outfit, do let them know what their expected attire would be in advance, so that they have sufficient time to source for the required outfit.

5. Be involved in the wedding coordination

Alison and David’s Magical and Intimate Wedding at Tirtha Uluwatu Bali by Gusmank Photography

If your fiancée has taken charge over the aesthetic aspects of the wedding, then do your part by being involved in the coordination of your big day to lighten the planning load on her. Take over any logistical coordination required, such as hiring transport for guests, and familiarise yourself with the wedding day schedule and guest seating plans, so you can better host your guests or delegate the task to one of your groomsmen if necessary.

You should also be proactive and take charge of any post-wedding tasks on her behalf, such as returning rental items, clearing the space so that your vendor can proceed with the tear-down of the decor, or handling any leftover logistics. Similarly, you can instruct your groomsmen to handle some or all of the post-wedding tasks so you can continue to make merry with your newly-wedded bride and family.

6. Be present for appointments, dress fittings and food tastings

Vanessa and Bryan’s Classic Wedding with White Florals and Green Foliage at Capella Singapore by Iluminen.Singapore

While planning a wedding can be emotionally and physically stressful at times, it is also one of the most unique journeys that a couple can embark together. Being present for appointments with vendors, shopping for a wedding dress and attending dress fittings together, and turning up for food tastings is a shared experience that will not only strengthen the bond between you and your fiancée, but create precious memories that you’ll cherish for the rest of your lives.

Sentimental value aside, turning up for these important meetings and appointments offer you a great opportunity to voice out any questions or offer you a chance to share your input, which could be valuable in crafting a wedding that represents both you and your fiancee.

7. Plan a surprise for your fiancee

Ellie and Firdaus’s White Ethereal Wedding at The Clifford Pier by Nafimages

Last but not least, plan a surprise for your fiancée and make her wedding experience an out of the world one. Planning a surprise not only shows that you have been paying attention to her words during the entire time, even if you appear not to, it also shows that you care enough about her to take the initiative to contribute to her wedding experience by creating a special and memorable moment for her.


Credits: Feature Image from Nicole and Meng’s Lively Squid Game Themed Gate Crash and Joyous Wedding at JW Marriott Singapore South Beach by Multifolds Productions.

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7 Simple Things Grooms Can Do To Play An Active Role In The Wedding Planning