Trust n Insecurity

peppermint,

i had a gfren who sleeps at 10pm... i sleep at 3am. whilst u may think it's sweet to fall asleep together, i'll be lying there next to her feeling like sh!t, feeling like i'm wasting my time sleeping it away... i can function for another 5hrs, drink coffee with frens, read a book, watch discovery channel or advise on the forum...

not all men are the same. i dun play games... i load-up on information and re-evaluate my thoughts on issues that will affect my future. to me, those 2-3hrs in the early mornings are Crucial to my success...

my wife doesn't complain... when she knew me, i was sleeping at 3-4am, dun even go home by 2am... and i dun go pubbing/drinking etc. i just like driving around to meet frens for chats... So knowing my lifestyle, she does not expect to change me... nor force me to sleep early. i'm a workaholic and hyper-active thinker, Not everyone enjoys sleeping and lazing around...
 


powder,

ha ha hyper-active

For me, I can either sleep or don't sleep.. really depends.. But mostly I won't sleep early. Some nights though I will sleep early, especially when my little girl insisted.. so I lay beside her and sleep.. sometimes I woke up after she slept, other times I just sleep through..
 
hi bro,

i wish i can function like this. When I go on without much sleep for days, the headache will come. Down with one right now.
sad.gif
 
For me, its a super waste of time taking long periods of time thinking and staying undecided what/where to do/go/eat/buy.

We need to plan to stop wasting time wondering and undecided. I only do the lazing around when I'm sick and resting at home or on a holiday where I'm not the planner nor the driver.
 
Don't know.. headache is a very complex topic..

some people are just plain lucky like me.. I can don't sleep .. and when i sleep i sleep easily.. won't have insomnia .. guess the bad thing about me is that I do snore.
 
sm, I normally do sleep easily and well.

But if there is something bothering me enough, it can make me sleepless for long periods of time. So far, only my work and worries for my parents do that to me. And of cos, Champions League.
 
peppermint

I went solo travel before!
well, not really that solo lah. I joined those land tours like contiki type

you share a tour bus with strangers from all over the world
the bus will drop you off at desinated places of interest & you can roam around yourself. very shiok to read maps & try to find your way around independently

then gather back at the pick up point & the bus will bring you back to the hotel

relatively safe in that sense since you only travel during the day. Of course you still need to be alert since you are travelling alone.

In the evening, if got mood, can join your tour mates for a drink or comfortably tuck inside your bed & write postcards to friends

natas fair coming up. you can go check it out
 
milo,

ha ha.. you must learn to let your mind go..

for me, if I want to sleep.. i let go of all issues and go to sleep..

Nothing can stop me.

Champions League and sports another issue altogether..
 
yah... i guess its about learning to let go.

When younger, it was difficult bugs that couldn't be solved that stays in my mind throughout my sleep. Even that, I was able to sleep well.

I cannot say the same for now. We have with different issues as we go thr the various phases of life. Learning to let go is indeed the toughest lessons in life.
 
And sometimes there may be difficult problems/issues that you need to resolve.. I normally think about the problems/issues, try to think through and then I go to sleep..

funny thing is that when you woke up the next morning, while in the toilet, you may have different perspective and may be able to solve your problem.

I am not saying it works all the time.. but the mind works in wonderful way..

In my studying days, I always believe study and then fell asleep.. I found that although I may not seem to remember what I studied.. I discover that somehow the knowledge did get in when you are sleeping..

I don't know.. but I feel sleeping can be a powerful tool..
 
sm, ya i do that too... there was once i was sleeping with my daughter in her room and my wife was worried sick in our room, calling me but phone was on silent... normally after i wake up i'll just go back to doing my things... but must admit nowadays seem to need an extra hour of sleep during weekends... age is catching up i believe.
 
bro milo,

i dun get those headaches, maybe once a year or something... maybe it's really mind over matter cos i'm highly motivated by nature...

nah, it's not thinking of problems... but thinking of improvements... i normally surf information tat can better my longterm decisions in property, investments, life... when all the forces makes sense then i go into it more specifically. it helps to know the general sentiment and find opportunity in such hard times... the only thing that stands between us and a better life is our ability to determine where the world's market is headed and what's gonna be hot and what's no longer viable. these few hours every nite actually can help us shave 10-20yrs of unhappy working life away... else short-term problem can eb decided pretty fast within a day.

like sm, when i sleep, everything is detached and i doze off within 5mins.
 
I love to sleep though I don't sleep that much on a daily basis. Oh, simply love the indulgence of a weekend nap for an hour or so!!!
 
lost_in_ direction, you will get used to it after sometime..

after some time, i realize i can do with little sleep
 
hi powder needs some advice from u...hope u can drop some insight here...

i have also written in another post but the topic here on trust is very apt to me. my husb of one year plus just admitted that he actually liked someone but not now anymore. I found out from the messages he sent her recently. The change of his behaviour towards me started soon after he knew her. He was very cold to me and we were no longer lovey dovey.
after i found out, i want a separation but he doesnt want. he said he will not contact her and the feelings for her already over few months ago. i mean i also dont know whether to trust him or not.
since he doesnt want the separation, but he is rather cold to me. we seldom talk and go out. he always complain of being tired and sleeps.
i do asked him several times why is he so cold towards me initially (when i dont know about the TOW yet) and he said his feelings for me has faded a lot. And it has gone on for 7 months til i found out about her few days ago.
what can i do?
to save the marriage or out?
 
hi MaryJane,

he is probably feeling lousy and struggling himself. He will need time to time and find out what he really wants. What you can only do is give him space to figure things out but at the same time, work on a definite time line. Don't leave things entirely at his court or let things drag on infinitely.

Meanwhile, take time to work on your career, family, hobbies, friends. Basically, catch up with your other aspects that you might have neglected. At the same time, you should also start thinking about the marriage and for yourself.

You guys need to search the answers from within.
 
Hi MaryJane,
I have total trust for him and give him alot of space, unfortunately, my trust is misplaced. I was in denial stage for more than a year (a very painful period for me) until I confronted him. I found out that his love for me was lost 2 years ago. He started dating gals from the Internet behind my back. He knew this gal about 8 months ago and has decided to divorce me. I was so naive to think that he will come back to me when we decided to see the marriage counsellor. To be hurt once again when he insisted that he want a divorce. I have learnt that as I do self reflection on what is wrong with me and the marriage, I sink deeper into depression. I have been crying every day since I knew about the truth and I get regular panick attack, insomnia, persistent feeling of emptiness and easily agitated. I am seeking help from psychiatrist (for the anti depressant and sleeping pills) and will be seeing a psychologist soon. It is a very painful process for me to let go but to prevent myself from falling deeper into depression, I have decided it is time to move on.. I have learn that it is important to keep yourself occupied with hobbies, activities, friends and family members. I am very lucky to have good friends and family members' support during this period. It helps in my healing.
 
what do i want?--> i am lost and i dont know what i want. i simply cant accept a man whom i trust so much and love so much has betrayed me.
Do i still love him-->yes, still alittle i guess beneath all the hurt and anger

last night, he told me he cant bring himself to improve the marriage as he is thinking of TOW.

I really at my wits end. didnt go work today as i couldnt sleep at all the whole night.

any advice?
 
dun think u're seeking for advice yet...

u're still in shock and paralysed, so better to let things sink in first. u're currently more in need of someone telling u exactly what to do next...

i'm more adapt to sharing how to overcome...

for a start, it's not a betrayal yet, but of cos this varies... some girls 'cry father cry mother' and consider it a betrayal when their partner watches porn...

Thing is - u have to search yourself... How do u really feel? honestly i think u're mixed up now becos u're feeling 'what women should feel', but that's not necessarily what You should feel.

most times i read posts, i can tell if a lady is There yet. there are some who wants to find a way out, and there are those who want their story to be heard and garner lotsa hugs first. i dun offer hugs, but i think wat u need now is hugs.

whilst u receive your hugs, remember 1 thing... u either get your Hugs and move on, or u keep getting your Hugs and stay in your sad zone. i may be wrong, but u're looking for an identity amongst betrayed women Now... u might have forgotten tat u've not officially been betrayed Yet.

Dun be too quick to identify yourself as a victim of betrayal just so that u can quickly jump into a group of the betrayed and seek hugs... When u're in this group, u will subconsciously be pushing for bad things to happen to u.

read your last post... if it was your best fren instead of u, the actions are actually pretty obvious, isn't it?
 
Hi Powder
I often read your posts.
So, for my case, do you think is There yet?
I have a lot of ??? in my head with regards to my hb behaviours. However, I somehow feels that he still cares for me but I cannot comprehend why he replied in emails to TOW that he loves her. Is this a moment of fun for guys? Being a guy, wat do you think my hb will feel if I tell him the truth that I checked on his email and found out all the email correspondences between him and TOW?
 
sori was out of the country...

what are the facts presented to u now? do u see them? what do they tell u?

being a guy and being your hubby are 2 different things, so i cannot answer your "Is this a moment of fun for guys?" question. If u have established facts, Why do u need to find reasons to dispute that fact? Did u ask yourself tat question?

kfanss, i'm married with a kid and to a certain extent, i still care for my ex-gfrens and my buddies. so Obviously he still cares for u to some extent, shouldn't he? u're his wife afterall... But should that be a reason to determine if he loves u? and if he Does, should that be a reason to determine if he will want to be faithful and committed to u for the rest of his life?

the answer is No. u're looking for answers in all the wrong places becos u peeked at the answers and know what they are already. Now u're pretending u didn't peek. Is that possible???

he cheated on u.

what's your plan? do u still envision a lifetime with him? can u handle it?
 
If I were you, I will ask him to leave that woman, and tell him if he doesn't, I will leave him. If he said no, I will leave him (maybe will slap him also). But I am not you, so I cannot help you decide. And you have a kid. The kid suffers next time too. I am from a broken family too. And I always feel ashamed having to talk about my family background when I was in school. But now not anymore. Its different era now hehehe But I pity my mother had to gone thru all the pain when she was young last time. She never cried in front of us so I never knew if she was sad because I was still very ignorant. Its only after I grown bigger, after i finished my studies, one day suddenly talk about the past she cried for the first time. I love her very much.

Its just a matter of choice ... my guy friend cheated his wife 3 times, but his wife always forgive him. Now he is a better person...and they just got a baby. Cannot guarantee that he will not cheat again, but the point is the marriage still goes on, and life still goes on and he still loves his wife ... I used to seek for perfect relationship, perfect guy perfect life... but now I understand there is nothing perfect in the world...

Don't give up! Be strong ok! Life is full of ups and downs.
 
Powder, thanks. Your comments always hit the nail. I guess I am in a denial state. I still cannot accept the facts that he cheated on me but deep in my heart, I know I will eventually forgive him. I still envision a lifetime with him but I am scared and have no confident. There is already a crack in our marriage, I guess I need time to heal.

Marilyn, is true that I am a perfectionist. I am looking for a perfect relationship, I used to tell myself that if my hb cheated on me, I will not forgive him but now I am doing otherwise. Life is not so perfect afterall. No matter what happen, from this incident, I think we women must be strong and love ourselves more.
 
if u envision continuing a life with him, ask yourself Why? isit becos he's a really great hubby? or isit becos u're to weak to leave knowing that this is gonna ba a hanuting issue...

if he's a great hubby and it's a Moment of folly/weakness, i think u can find your way out of darkness, forgive him and move on.

if he's a great hubby and has no intention of stopping or puts himself in such positions too often when he's got no willpower to resist temptations... then u gotta decide if u're gonna be able to close one eye as long as he comes back home to u at the end of the day.

if he's not a great hubby and is in a moment of folly/weakness - u might consider giving it a go All in the name of Marriage. and hopefully the moment stays A Moment.

if he's not a great hubby and has no intention of being committed in staying faithful... Then u know what u should do.

Life is not short, but it's not long either... most pple think they can only find happiness in One environment. But i can tell u this - there's many environments that we can find happiness, it's just that we're too afraid to let go becos we Tend to settle for Less and think that That's all we're worth. we dun seek to reach the highest peak and tell ourselves to be happy at the ground, becos for some strange reason - we dun believe we deserve better!

just surf the sad threads on the betrayed or abused women and u see one common characteristic - Low self-esteem, self-worth and Loads of denial. i sometimes wonder how pple can lie to themselves everyday til it becomes Their Life. for some reason, they managed to even convince themselves that they are Not Worth happiness!

how sick and low is that??!!??

u definitely need time to heal... i would too. But the bigger question is - is he holding the knife tat's gonna be slashing and stabbing at u whilst your wounds are healing???

Would u ever wanna see your own daughter in this same hole? what would u tell her?
 
I am another sad n stupid woman who duno how to let go of my 6 yrs relationship. I am stuck there, duno how to let go of him and duno how to move on. He said he duno how to put into action to give up either both of us. So he stuck there also. We both stuck here duno how to move forward. I am still crying almost everyday. It is the worst if u koe tht he has feeling for another woman but he still come to show care and concern towards u, as a gf/wife how to differentiate? Someone who is so close to you for the past few yrs how to accept he has changed? He did came back work hard w me for few months n suddenly he unsure again, told me cannot move forward. I m like PepperMint I still think he still loves me, tht is y i keep giving him chance but y he keep hurt me again n again?
Trust has broken, there is no way to find back the secure feeling, I m draggin myself everyday i felt v tired. But i duno how to let go when he still sms me everyday. I also wan to move on, everyone ask me to let go move on, but i also juz cant do it. Y? Anyone can teach me how to let go?
 
<font face="Comic Sans MS,Tahoma"><font color="119911">Always remember when God made you lost something is to let you have something better!This is the magic sentence that made me move on and find my true happiness.I believe everyone should be treated fairly.Please don't ill-treat yourself.</font></font>
kao_babydust.gif
 
hihi.. im another sad and depressed woman. I really dun wan to let go my 9yrs r/s. we gg to get marry but nw everthing gone.. my wedding called off, hse coming soon, banquet oso booked le
 
funny... u mentioned the 9yrs relationship, u mentioned the wedding, u mentioned the house, u mentioned the banquet.

how abt the guy???

what are u really sad &amp; depressed abt here?
 
I think there is something happen in the relationship then everything turn out differently. Then, unable to accept everything has changed.
 
See Elyn82's post in "Forgive or not" which explained why her bf decided to call off the wedding. It was dated 5 Aug 12.10 am.
 
Hi hi, im back. n i need serious wake up calls fr you guys. Recap: my hb had affair, and left the house for TOW. He insisted the affair is over, he jus needed to settle some issues with her. I told him, stop contact or leave the house. thus he left. He always say he left becos i chased him out, the affair is over.

Recently he was out at sea for one month, so we had v sparse contact. That month, I progressed alot emotionally, gain my footing on the ground, sorted out my feelings n finally feel tat I am be happy n secured alone.

When he came back, he asked for reconciliation. I dunno the exact reason, he didnt say. But i figured maybe the solitude he experienced (being away fr me n her) gave him time n space to think n decide wat he really wants. He said he has ended contact with her and ask for my trust n chance to be together again.

AGAIN!!!!!

Immediately I fear. I cant trust him. I cannot tolerate another episode of chasing him out of the house when he resumed contact w her again. Simply the tot of chasing him out again, sent tremors down my spine, gives me gastric pain, headache. I cannot handle that. So i said, good that u ended contact, but let's jus take it slow.

It has been one mth into our "reconciliation". He has spent most of his free time with me n baby. He has talked about our future. He even talked of buying a big car for our 2nd n 3rd kid. I hear n laugh in my heart. I am very skeptical. I fear. I don dare to hope. Hope has not got me anywhere for past 3 years.

We are still staying apart. Last week, I chanced upon his phone. Yes, I did it again. I checked his phone, and saw smses to her. I didnt feel anything. Maybe in my heart, I already expected to find n anticipated it. I didnt confront him, cos i know he HATES me snooping on him. But he knows i checked his fone, n he was VERY VERY upset.

He said if i want this marriage, I shd trust him. He said, stop snooping on his fone, judge him based on his other actions. He says I need to get it out of my mind tat he is NOT having an affair. So what if i checked n found out he is in contact? So wat if they exchanged some smses? Why am I so fixated on meaningless things rather than things tat really matters?

I said, go apply itemised detailed billing to show me tat u are clean. He flipped. He said," Your logic is warped. I have nothing to hide. BUT I just hate the fact u need to snoop on me like tat. Im not your dog or toy. Im your husband. I demand respect n trust. Im willing to wait. But its pointless if you are not willing to give.

Finally, he said, okie, he can give me detailed billing. But then, it will be pointless to carry on the relationship. I can hv his call records, but there goes the last min of respect n trust he can get from me. If i cannot trust n respect him, then we shd divorce. I said, I shd hv known better than to let u screw up my life again. He said, I screwed myself. If this marriage ends, its not becos of the affair. Get REAL.

Is he right? Is he reasonable?
Or is it me? How shd I handle this?
 
wat would you all do, if:-

1)you found out your HTB has visited pros/FL before he got together with you?
- you tried to forget the whole matter thereafter, while he denys all these and said these are just emails out of curiousity in sammyboy forums and he did not do it.

2)you both were trying means to patch things up, build the bond stronger and getting ready for next move into marriage. booked hotel venue, bot rings, paid house 20% downpayment

3)things were good and infact improving since the very last quarel you can remember..you feel the bond is stronger and you both have managed to keep cool when problem arises now.

4)soon, his mom has an issue with both of you..out of nothing at all coz she refused to speak up wat she is unhappy about, she raises her voice and rude behaviour at you, forbids you from going to their house, and claims both you and HTB has not repected her, when we told her about our AD date. but she certainly knew we had intentions in geting married coz we even showed her the units no available for our hdb selection
However, your HTB has stood by you and defied her in her unreasonable behaviour, though this is very unsual for anyone in his family to revoke against her.

5) ever since this dispute/ unhappy issue with his mom and us, he has come over to stay overnight, and hence begins to be close to my mom and bro..he appreacites my family more and has been very good to me eversince. i can feel our r/s nurturing in this difficult times.
many topics which we used to quarel like his OT, our tone of voice in debating a topic, etc has been resolved by mutual respect..i feel
we do not shout at each other/ get angry easily..coz it has been a long time since we qaurel and gradually this has become a habit for us to stay more cool.

6) just as you feel negative stuffs are adding on but gladful your HTB is by your side, and both of you are on better r.s now,just 1 fine day, recently, you searched his sammyboy nick on google and found out 2 more posts he created in that FL forum as such:

a) thread subject: 17 year old FL available, those interested only! uniforms available

HTB: hihi, im interested. please contact me via [email protected]
10.49pm >>>>>>>>>>so , he has urge at this time?
Dated: 14 jan 2007

>> 1.5 years before you 2 officially get together as a couple despite the fact that you 2 have always been together since 6 years ago
you recalled how sweet it was then, on 14 Feb 2007..on how he passed you the valentines's flowers and asked you to be his gf..an advancement from close fren to being his gf officially.. and how disgusted you now feel, having to recal your HTB is actually interested in FXXking a young girl, almost 11 years younger? you see gals on street, assuming they are 17 years old and you started to remember these posting on net..feeling terrible! yet you have to keep reminding youself that these are the pasts!!

you dropeed him an email, with the screenshots of these previous posting of him on that dirty forum, feeling devasted at work!

and mins later, he replied to you via email, "stop digging on the past! im just curious if she will reply coz i dun feel a 17 year old will be so daring to advertise her own body on line! if you have time, try to find ways of how to improve things for a better future!"
i did not reply and he came and fetch me as usuak after work..nothing was commented/ exchanged..i dropped off at some pub for a drink to unwind myself while he drove off for his OT nearby. din expect him to turn up after his OT, but he did. and he acted that NOTHING has happened before while i cant help, feeling all sad and depressed and trying to conceal these..coz i feel there is no point to mention verbally..he will always deny and wat if he admit? it does me no good at all too.

2) 2nd thread i found: "fatty FL available"
HTB: hi, im interested! count me in!

im too disgusted and angry and shock to see this..yes i know this happen in 2006 and 2007..but i cant help feeling very depressed!

i tot i have gone over my period of depression ever since i consume anti-depressant pills from doc for 1.5 months supply.. i din tell him i took these..but i really managed to be optimistic, and let bygones be bygones.

until recently, this itchy handed me went to search his nick and again and found the above 2 threads he posted!

he has been trying to be nice to me these 2 days after the exchange of the email. fetching my mom and i to clinic for appt, accompanying my mom and i to supermarket to shop for groceries, stayed at my house while waiting for his appt at work..
i really cant help feeling insane within myself..when i see young girls on street, when i see plump and pretty girls on street..i feel like going insane!! and seriously, i feel very disgusted!!! and saddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!

wat should i do?
wat kinda tots should i create to make myself feel better?!?!??!?!!?
 
Pink Cloud

Are you able to face the music that your bf is really a jerk? If yes, are you able to leave him? Nothing much to talk about if you can't leave him or not open to this option.
 
pink cloud, i dont understand why you are not leaving your HBT... what's holding you back?? why cant you find your own happiness instead of all these miseries?? everyone can tell you the same thing, it's your life and your choice..

i hv not been following this...just my thots from a few glances.
 
Pink Cloud

Over the past one year you have shared in your various posts that your bf:
1. Bought a car when he can ill afford to;
2. Modified the car further when you two were tight on cash;
3. Does not give allowance to parents;
4. Is hostile to his mom; and
5. His colourful history with women

Do you think he qualifies as one?

The first three points would tell you that he has his priority in money wrong.

Point 4 - Even if he doesn't have chemistry with his mom or does not like his mom for whatever reason, I believe he shouldn't be hostile or rude to her. I am guessing that he did not stand up for you with his mom, but as a habit he goes against his mom's wishes.

Point 5 - Big no-no. He is a man not meant for exclusive relationship, let alone marriage.
 
yes, although i would want badly to say no.
im very breathless and suffocated now!
i feel like ranting out and shouting out all my misery!
 
i havent seen this thread b4 since but reading it i found so many many good advices on this thread..

do you realise that when your partner's behavior is repetitively hurting you in the same manner, you have to say no? otherwise you are just finding excuses for him time and again.

Yes, women feel insecure and lose trust sometimes but i don't think you deserve to be told by your partner to go handle yourself and that things did not work out bec u could not handle your insecurities pushing the reason for the failed rela on you..Esp if the insecurities and trust arose from misacts on his part.

If he isnt there to hold your hand now to understand your insecurities, and bec he wants you in his life and be willing to work at it and prove to you to dispel the insecurities. If he isnt there or willing to do this which only he and noone else can do then when can you expect him to hold your hand and walk with you?

mayb it's not abt whether you can accept the past, or let go and forgive.. mayb its abt the way he has and will always handle what feels impt to you.
 
Pinkcloud,

Like Doll, we had read alot of the things that you brought up about your bf &amp; his family.

Frankly speaking, what does a marriage &amp; wedding means to you?

Do you think you will be happy with the union? Do you visualise a future with your current bf &amp; his family? Are you in a hurry to get married?

No advises or anyone can guarantee you a life time of happiness. Only you can help yourself by picking someone whom you feel is able to give you these. If you are uncertain or cant get pass these trust &amp; insercurities issue, why not considering postponing the wedding first?

Have all these issue sorted out &amp; expectations / emotions all adjusted (you and him) before going into the marriage. Do you think such feelings will just go away after you are pronounce as his legal wife? Lets be real and faced it. There's no marriage when there is no trust.

You are always at this forum. You should have seen plenty couples sweeping away and ignoring these issues that surfaced before their marriage. Do we see their issues 'automatically' dissolved after their union and they lived happily ever after? Or we saw more threads created to ask for advise on savaging or couples spilting ways for the better of both?
 
Pink, if i were in your shoes, I will break free frm a man like this, try to be self sufficient, learn to love myself before going any further into this relationship.

When u don love yourself, u then start to become needy, n your happiness will depend on his actions. Once you know how to derive your own happiness, n realises that happiness also exists in other forms of relationship, like friendship, family kinship, picking up some hobby, or doing well at work... contributing to society by volunteer work, perhaps u will then realise tht actually the problem u are facing can be pretty insignificant in the wider scheme of things...

I guess in a way, i am replying to myself, telling myself to shape up n stop feeling like a victim in this episode as well...

Makes sense?
 
PepperMint

Forgiving your husband's affair is one thing, to rebuild life together after an affair is another thing. What he is doing - keeping in touch with his ex-lover and accusing you for your insecurity - does not help at all.
 
PepperMint

Forgiving your husband's affair is one thing, to rebuild life together after an affair is another thing. What he is doing - keeping in touch with his ex-lover and accusing you for your insecurity - does not help at all. I thought he should have known this better.
 
i know... but he refused to understand. in fact, he feels soo righteous about it. and even made it seem like im always the insecured women that has trust issues.

I know i have trust issues. But I really want to trust him. And its soo tough when he is like tat.
 
While you are ready to put his past behind you, it seems that he is not ready to put his past behind him by keeping in touch with the other woman. I don't know how you two can rebuild the relationship this way. I am sorry...
 
Is it really impossible to build the relationship ith him being in touch w TOW? Assuming they are really "just friends"?
 


I can't speak for all women but for me I wouldn't be able to rebuild the relationship with him while he still keeps in touch with his ex-lover. This woman is not an ex-gf that was with him before I came into the picture. She is someone who had an affair with him when he is already married to me. No, I am not so benevolent till I can be totally bochup.
 

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