Support group - Divorce

ig1212

New Member
Hi Eve,
My situation is similar to yours. My husband betrays me in less than 2 yrs after we got married. We have both shifted out & our house is now vacant. My situation is more complex as I have a kid to consider. *sigh*
 


ig1212

New Member
Hi Eve,
My situation is similar to yours. My husband betrays me in less than 2 yrs after we got married. We have both shifted out & our house is now vacant. My situation is more complex as I have a kid to consider. *sigh*
 

blythecrazy

New Member
Hi, I'm new to this forum. Here's my intro. After about 2.5 years of marriage, I found that he has been fooling around and seems keen to carry on as long as I didn't know about it. Got a deed of separation 3 years as there wasn't ground for divorce. Stupid Singapore laws. After feeling cheated, you have to bear the responsibility and financial burden of getting a PI and lawyer, whereas the irresponsible guy just doesn't give a damn. And what if I can't afford it and not that poor to be eligible for Legal Aid? I wonder who's the law protecting. Anyway, 3 years have almost past. I'm glad but still troubled by many things. First, he left the country with debts uncleared. If I file the papers, the lawyers say the onus on me to find him. What the heck?? Where in the world would I know he ran to? And if he doesn't come back in time? What happens? Lose lawyers' fee yet no divorce??? Second, say he comes back when it's time, he said I have to pay for all the legal fees cos I'm the one who wants to divorce, and he wants to wait till our HDB flat can be sold in open market. But I am really going crazy and hoping to get the divorce over with asap. And I'm definitley hoping he'd pay half the legal fees incurred at least. But I'm so afraid he'd make a big fuss and not consent to the divorce. Does it mean I have to wait another year to get a divorce without consent? Anyone with similar experience or good advice is welcomed. I'm really breaking down...free legal help offered at some centres don't help either. So far all the "counsellers" or "volunteer lawyers" I've met are so cold and harsh, lack empathy. Please help. Emails are welcome too. Thank you in advance.
 

blythecrazy

New Member
Hi, I'm new to this forum. Here's my intro. After about 2.5 years of marriage, I found that he has been fooling around and seems keen to carry on as long as I didn't know about it. Got a deed of separation 3 years as there wasn't ground for divorce. Stupid Singapore laws. After feeling cheated, you have to bear the responsibility and financial burden of getting a PI and lawyer, whereas the irresponsible guy just doesn't give a damn. And what if I can't afford it and not that poor to be eligible for Legal Aid? I wonder who's the law protecting. Anyway, 3 years have almost past. I'm glad but still troubled by many things. First, he left the country with debts uncleared. If I file the papers, the lawyers say the onus on me to find him. What the heck?? Where in the world would I know he ran to? And if he doesn't come back in time? What happens? Lose lawyers' fee yet no divorce??? Second, say he comes back when it's time, he said I have to pay for all the legal fees cos I'm the one who wants to divorce, and he wants to wait till our HDB flat can be sold in open market. But I am really going crazy and hoping to get the divorce over with asap. And I'm definitley hoping he'd pay half the legal fees incurred at least. But I'm so afraid he'd make a big fuss and not consent to the divorce. Does it mean I have to wait another year to get a divorce without consent? Anyone with similar experience or good advice is welcomed. I'm really breaking down...free legal help offered at some centres don't help either. So far all the "counsellers" or "volunteer lawyers" I've met are so cold and harsh, lack empathy. Please help. Emails are welcome too. Thank you in advance.
 

blythecrazy

New Member
no, I mean I have not. can't afford to...but mostly can't bring myself to. knowing it is hard enough. call me silly but I always thought love and marriage is a thing in the heart. all that matters should be the heart, isn't it? he doesn't love me anymore what's the point in all these? anyway I know it's too late now to try to engage a PI. He's not even in Singapore. *Sigh*
 

blythecrazy

New Member
no, I mean I have not. can't afford to...but mostly can't bring myself to. knowing it is hard enough. call me silly but I always thought love and marriage is a thing in the heart. all that matters should be the heart, isn't it? he doesn't love me anymore what's the point in all these? anyway I know it's too late now to try to engage a PI. He's not even in Singapore. *Sigh*
 

helper

New Member
Halo

I know a lot of lawyers and I do have a family lawyer too. Maybe I can call-up my lawyer first and meet him up later. Before we meet-up my lawyer I want to want what other things you wish to tell me. You can e-mail me first and meet you up shortly. My e-mail is [email protected].
Please do not make yourself upset as there is definite a way-out if we help you. We will try our best to help you through our last breath.
 

helper

New Member
Halo

I know a lot of lawyers and I do have a family lawyer too. Maybe I can call-up my lawyer first and meet him up later. Before we meet-up my lawyer I want to want what other things you wish to tell me. You can e-mail me first and meet you up shortly. My e-mail is [email protected].
Please do not make yourself upset as there is definite a way-out if we help you. We will try our best to help you through our last breath.
 

il_mare

New Member
Hi Eve,
Fritt is right, don't be afraid of him. U can go to police station to lodge a report on his threats, don go to neighbourhood police post, go to police station. After loge a report, u can go to family court to apply for PPO ie. personal protection order against him.
 

il_mare

New Member
Hi Eve,
Fritt is right, don't be afraid of him. U can go to police station to lodge a report on his threats, don go to neighbourhood police post, go to police station. After loge a report, u can go to family court to apply for PPO ie. personal protection order against him.
 

sense

New Member
Hi Eve,

So sorry to hear that you are going to divorce your husband. Divorce may not be as bad as some people think. I not encouraging a divorce but I myself also divorced once and have remarried 2 years ago. I now very satified with my marriage life and I will never regret divorced with my ex-husband. I can recommend my lawyer to you if you have think twice and really want a divorce. Call Foo Chia Partnership at 65386188 to make an appointment with Ms Foo.
Address : 133 New Bridge Rd #11-09
 

sense

New Member
Hi Eve,

So sorry to hear that you are going to divorce your husband. Divorce may not be as bad as some people think. I not encouraging a divorce but I myself also divorced once and have remarried 2 years ago. I now very satified with my marriage life and I will never regret divorced with my ex-husband. I can recommend my lawyer to you if you have think twice and really want a divorce. Call Foo Chia Partnership at 65386188 to make an appointment with Ms Foo.
Address : 133 New Bridge Rd #11-09
 

freespirit

New Member
must we have exact evidence of his adultery ie taking photos of him and the girl in bed, or what else can we use to justify that he is unfaithful??

my hubby chats online with girls and go out with them as well...can that be considered??
 

freespirit

New Member
must we have exact evidence of his adultery ie taking photos of him and the girl in bed, or what else can we use to justify that he is unfaithful??

my hubby chats online with girls and go out with them as well...can that be considered??
 

odie

New Member
For adultery... you must be able to prove that they have sexual relationship. Even if you cannot get photos of them in bed, the evidences must clearly point to the fact that they are carrying out a sexual relationship.

However base on what you had said... you can try on the ground of "unreasonable behaviour" to petition for a divorce.

Do seek professional legal advice on this.
 

odie

New Member
For adultery... you must be able to prove that they have sexual relationship. Even if you cannot get photos of them in bed, the evidences must clearly point to the fact that they are carrying out a sexual relationship.

However base on what you had said... you can try on the ground of "unreasonable behaviour" to petition for a divorce.

Do seek professional legal advice on this.
 
A

annulling

Guest
Hi, I have just settled first stage of my divorce, its more of annulment. Is it divorce that u want or do u kno u can opt for annulment?
 
A

annulling

Guest
Hi, I have just settled first stage of my divorce, its more of annulment. Is it divorce that u want or do u kno u can opt for annulment?
 

garfield

New Member
I would like to know more about divorce.
How do I go about? Like how & where to approach lawyers? Any recommendation?
Thanks
 

garfield

New Member
I would like to know more about divorce.
How do I go about? Like how & where to approach lawyers? Any recommendation?
Thanks
 

fiona

New Member
Wow... this is scary!!! I guess all the above were written by ladies?

May I ask why you ladies want to divorce? May I ask for some explanation here so that I won't have to divorce?
 

fiona

New Member
Wow... this is scary!!! I guess all the above were written by ladies?

May I ask why you ladies want to divorce? May I ask for some explanation here so that I won't have to divorce?
 
A

annulling

Guest
I had to, my husband committed adultery.

I know he had to go and I deserve better.

But thats the extreme. I hope all here and think twice and thrice and try to salvage before the extreme measures.
 
A

annulling

Guest
I had to, my husband committed adultery.

I know he had to go and I deserve better.

But thats the extreme. I hope all here and think twice and thrice and try to salvage before the extreme measures.
 

fattybombombom

New Member
well....

According to singapore LAW.....
the couple has to be seperated for 3 years
before they can file for a divorce....
But your status will be a divorsee.

Annulment is a totally differnt thing.
If you are married for less than 6 months, and not been throught customery... you can do this.
your status will then remain as single...

hope it helps....

Luv,
Ah Fat
 

fattybombombom

New Member
well....

According to singapore LAW.....
the couple has to be seperated for 3 years
before they can file for a divorce....
But your status will be a divorsee.

Annulment is a totally differnt thing.
If you are married for less than 6 months, and not been throught customery... you can do this.
your status will then remain as single...

hope it helps....

Luv,
Ah Fat
 
B

betough

Guest
I have just separated from my husband. I feel horrible even though I don't think there's any point in asking him to come back when he doesn't love me anymore.

Just like to ask how any of you got through this difficult period. It is very tough for me now although I know I have to get over it no matter what.
 
B

betough

Guest
I have just separated from my husband. I feel horrible even though I don't think there's any point in asking him to come back when he doesn't love me anymore.

Just like to ask how any of you got through this difficult period. It is very tough for me now although I know I have to get over it no matter what.
 

helper

New Member
Hi Betough

What I can said is that times will heal the wound. Maybe I can suggest you that get few of your good friends to go shopping or travel.......
I know how you feel right now as I myself have come across it.
What the problem with your husband & you? Do you have any commient right now (Loans, House & .....) or third party? Sorry to ask you this kind of questions. Maybe you can drop your e-mail to me if you need any consulation. Take care and life have to go on.
 

helper

New Member
Hi Betough

What I can said is that times will heal the wound. Maybe I can suggest you that get few of your good friends to go shopping or travel.......
I know how you feel right now as I myself have come across it.
What the problem with your husband & you? Do you have any commient right now (Loans, House & .....) or third party? Sorry to ask you this kind of questions. Maybe you can drop your e-mail to me if you need any consulation. Take care and life have to go on.
 
B

betough

Guest
Hi Helper,

He has fallen in love with someone else. I know he truly loves her, not a fling. You said that time will heal the wound. How long did it take you to be back to normal?
 
B

betough

Guest
Hi Helper,

He has fallen in love with someone else. I know he truly loves her, not a fling. You said that time will heal the wound. How long did it take you to be back to normal?
 

helper

New Member
Hi Betough

Let me ask you how long your relationship with your husband?
I have my relationship with my girlfriend going to be my wife for 14yrs. You know how it hurt me it like a knife been in my heart.
I can said that you need to forget & forgive all the past slowly. I try to mix with new friends & establish new relationship like friendship, travel & makan kakis. My wounds still healing right now. I get to face to face with my girlfriend when I went shopping with my kakis and what I saw is that she is with other guy & her mother and know what she do next is that they start to run from the scence. You know how it hurts if their parents gang-up together to cheat you.
Do you want to join in our kakis group maybe you will start a fresh?
I got lot of things need to tell you is that outside there is more other people need our love more. Would you kindly drop your e-mails to me so that I can tell you more cruel things that she & her family did to me. Take care But you must have your meals.
 

helper

New Member
Hi Betough

Let me ask you how long your relationship with your husband?
I have my relationship with my girlfriend going to be my wife for 14yrs. You know how it hurt me it like a knife been in my heart.
I can said that you need to forget & forgive all the past slowly. I try to mix with new friends & establish new relationship like friendship, travel & makan kakis. My wounds still healing right now. I get to face to face with my girlfriend when I went shopping with my kakis and what I saw is that she is with other guy & her mother and know what she do next is that they start to run from the scence. You know how it hurts if their parents gang-up together to cheat you.
Do you want to join in our kakis group maybe you will start a fresh?
I got lot of things need to tell you is that outside there is more other people need our love more. Would you kindly drop your e-mails to me so that I can tell you more cruel things that she & her family did to me. Take care But you must have your meals.
 

freespirit

New Member
Hi both,

Can I join in as well. Though I am not separated but I am thinking about it. Hope that you give me your email addresses?

Thanks.
 

freespirit

New Member
Hi both,

Can I join in as well. Though I am not separated but I am thinking about it. Hope that you give me your email addresses?

Thanks.
 

helper

New Member
Hi Freespirit & Betough

Here is my e-mail as stated below:

chowjoseph@ yahoo.com.sg

Hi Freespirit

It is not a good idea for divorce since both of you are married. Do you have any childrens?

Bear in mind that children are always the one who suffer cos they are not grow in a proper family as parents are divorce.

Take care both of you.
 

helper

New Member
Hi Freespirit & Betough

Here is my e-mail as stated below:

chowjoseph@ yahoo.com.sg

Hi Freespirit

It is not a good idea for divorce since both of you are married. Do you have any childrens?

Bear in mind that children are always the one who suffer cos they are not grow in a proper family as parents are divorce.

Take care both of you.
 
B

betough

Guest
Hi Helper,

You must be very strong to overcome your problem. I have emailed you.
 
B

betough

Guest
Hi Helper,

You must be very strong to overcome your problem. I have emailed you.
 
S

suspic

Guest
Hi Betough,

I am like you too. If you read this thread "What if you see this message on your hubby's handphone?" You will find my story there. I am Suspic.

I left my husband because he betrayed me. It hurt hell at that time. In fact the intial period when I found out, I could sleep or eat. I cant even sit still. I cant talk even. I just keep trembling. And my heart beats so fast that I think if I had gone to a doctor, he will be shocked!

But I have now walked thru that dark period and am recovering well. I guess being emotionally strong and having the right perspectives in life is very important. My family kept me going.

But it wasnt easy. I was so sad, I lost so much weight. I developed light asthma. Wherever I go, even on buses, I cried. Even walking on the roads, I cried. Every nite, I had to pray and play christian hymns to keep me going. At first, I even needed sleeping pills and muscle relaxers to rest well.

How are you now? Staying at your parents? Are you occupied with a job? Financially ok?

I can tell you are a very strong gal. Hold on! When you are at life's lowest pit, be comforted that there is no other way than up! And I m sure there many people who loves you. In fact, we all at this forum care for you even though we dont know u personally.

Take care, be strong and if you like a listening ear, you may email me too [email protected]

I started the above email account when friends and people in the thread requested and they emailed me. And I related some of the more personal details to them thru that.
 


S

suspic

Guest
Hi Betough,

I am like you too. If you read this thread "What if you see this message on your hubby's handphone?" You will find my story there. I am Suspic.

I left my husband because he betrayed me. It hurt hell at that time. In fact the intial period when I found out, I could sleep or eat. I cant even sit still. I cant talk even. I just keep trembling. And my heart beats so fast that I think if I had gone to a doctor, he will be shocked!

But I have now walked thru that dark period and am recovering well. I guess being emotionally strong and having the right perspectives in life is very important. My family kept me going.

But it wasnt easy. I was so sad, I lost so much weight. I developed light asthma. Wherever I go, even on buses, I cried. Even walking on the roads, I cried. Every nite, I had to pray and play christian hymns to keep me going. At first, I even needed sleeping pills and muscle relaxers to rest well.

How are you now? Staying at your parents? Are you occupied with a job? Financially ok?

I can tell you are a very strong gal. Hold on! When you are at life's lowest pit, be comforted that there is no other way than up! And I m sure there many people who loves you. In fact, we all at this forum care for you even though we dont know u personally.

Take care, be strong and if you like a listening ear, you may email me too [email protected]

I started the above email account when friends and people in the thread requested and they emailed me. And I related some of the more personal details to them thru that.
 

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