Lost... Husband is having an affair

may_tan

New Member
Hi, I have been reading quite a bit on local and overseas forum on this issue.

I am a working executive with no children. Hubby and I, are in our early 30s, have been married for 4 years plus and had an affair with a girl younger than him by 8 years who is his new colleague whom he only got to know this year after he switched company in Jan, the affair probably started in Feb after the CNY. Worse, she stays near me, 5 minutes drive from my home and has same birth date as me according to her facebook.

I was already suspicious when hubby came home on one occassion at 1.30am when he normally comes back latest at 9 or 10. He switched off his hp when I tried contacting him and even called 2 hospitals to check if he had got himself into an accident. I asked why he came home so late, he just said he wants to think things over and he wants freedom. A few days later, he came home at 4 am. Then he lied on where he went when I saw a reciept for dinner for 2 at somewhere else. He said he was thinking things again... My heart really sank.

2 years ago, he also tried to go on a "date" with a female colleague for movie and dinner. When I found out via his hp sms, he argued with me and said more unbelievable lies to cover up. We quarrelled and patched up later after he said he cancelled the appointment with his colleague though he never admit that it was a date.

Back to current situation, I questioned him on who is the 3rd party, he never admit and said he went out with friends. My sister advised me to get a PI. I got one to tail him for 4 days and indeed he was seeing this girl. The day I confronted him at my mother-in-law's (MIL) place, he was still trying to cover up and never believed that I would get a PI. He thought the photos were taken by me using my own hp. He is currently staying at MIL place but she does not trust him anymore and this is giving him a nervous breakdown.

I have been married to him for 4 years plus always supporting his decisions and standing by him. I waited for him everyday to finish his stuff, including his gym and swim and etc and to come home for dinner with me. I never forced him to do things that he does not like. But now he is saying he has been unhappy in the marriage, he wants his freedom and there was nothing at home he is looking forward to.

I talked to him on 2 occassions after we have even attended marriage counselling. I have gone to the lawyer to start the legal proceedings. He said he would not contest with me for the house and stuff as he felt he had let me down. But right now, everyday I have been crying buckets because I truly miss him and hope to rebuild our marriage again... I know I am hopelessly silly... Will he regret one day and come back to plead with me?
 


scopefun

New Member
Another stupid woman crying 'why I have done this done that being a good wife and he fucks someone else'. LOL~

LOL~

You should consider yourself lucky. If you divorce now, you may still have a choice.

You are not lost, you are just refusing to admit your marriage is a mistake right from the beginning. You demand the wrong thing from the wrong man.

Obviously, he is not the One... and you married him. Too bad, he got himself a smart wife. If you are foolish enough, you will never get to know and your marriage will be intact. Hahahahahahahahahaha...

Now to that sour grape Chocolatte...
 

margret

Member
u are not lost, why say u are lost. u know how to get a pi, u know how to confront him. but from what i read in your posting u seem to have other hidden agenda here.
 

guest28

New Member
Hi May

Sharing with you this article (from sweet 40):

这文章看得我心里酸酸的。é€ç»™æ¯ä¸€ä¸ªçˆ±è€å…¬çš„女人。
  俗è¯è¯´çš„好。 å†å¥½çš„鱼肉åƒå¤šäº†ã€‚也还是想å°å°å¤§ç™½èœçš„味é“。
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  我们有我们æ¯ä¸ªäººçš„事业。åªæ˜¯ä¸ºäº†æ›´å¥½çš„生存。
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  你把我看的轻如鸿毛。
  就别指望自己还是我心中的泰山。
  他深感愧疚。
  决定把家里的一切留给我和孩å­ã€‚
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  他希望得到我的ç¥ç¦ã€‚
  他还主动说起那个女孩。
  她æœæ°”蓬勃。跟她在一起。他有被点燃的感觉。
  想起自己曾ç»ä¹Ÿå¹´è½»æ¼‚亮。æœæ°”蓬勃。也曾ç»é‚£æ ·å¸å¼•ä»–。
  我与那个。åªæ˜¯éš”了几年的光阴。
  å´è¢«æ˜Žæ˜¾è´´ä¸Šäº†æ—§çˆ±ä¸Žæ–°æ¬¢çš„标签。
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  “抽奖得了一å—香皂。â€
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  “é€å¥¹ä¸€å—20元的电å­è¡¨ã€‚â€
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  “跟朋å‹æ‹¼é…’。â€
  他陶醉在自己的幸ç¦é‡Œã€‚满眼的温柔。
  而我。
  åƒæ‰€æœ‰çš„黄脸婆一样。
  精打细算。
  过问他æ¯ä¸€ç¬”开销。
  买åŒè¢œå­éƒ½è¦è´§æ¯”三家。
  我ä¸è®¸ä»–抽烟。ç¦æ­¢ä»–å–酒。更å对他å†ä¸‰å–四的赌åšã€‚
  “和她在一起。我感觉心跳加速。干什么都充满力é‡ã€‚â€
  他显然已有几分醉æ„。
  我打断他。
  “从此以åŽã€‚我ä¸å†æ˜¯ä½ çš„黄脸婆。â€
  “ä¸å†æ˜¯ä½ ä¸ç”¨æ”¯ä»˜å·¥èµ„的佣人。â€
  “我å¯ä»¥èŠ‚çœä¸ºä½ ç†¨è¡£æœé…领带的时间。æ¥æ‰“扮自己。â€
  “我å¯ä»¥èŠ‚çœä¸‹ä¸ºä½ ä¹°è¡£ç‰©çš„钱。给自己挑几件拿的出手的时装。â€
  “我å¯ä»¥ä¸ç”¨ç»žå°½è„‘æ±åœ°æœç´¢é±¼çš„Nç§åšæ³•ã€‚ä¸ç”¨è®¨å¥½ä½ çš„胃。â€
  “想åƒé¥­æˆ‘å°±åšã€‚ä¸æƒ³åšé¥­ã€‚我å¯ä»¥åŽ»åƒå¿«é¤ã€‚â€
  “我å¯ä»¥ä¸å†æ‹…心你抽烟伤了肺。å–酒伤了è‚。â€
  “我ä¸å†ä¸ºä½ æ´—å的一塌糊涂的被å•ã€‚â€
  “ä¸ç”¨åœ¨ä½ é†‰äº†é…’。ç¡åœ¨è¡—è¾¹æŸä¸ªè§’è½æ—¶ã€‚一边哭一边满大街的找。â€
  “我å¯ä»¥ä¸ç”¨å†æ“心你è€å®¶çš„亲戚今天è°åšå¯¿ã€‚明天è°å¨¶åª³å¦‡ã€‚â€
  “ä¸ç”¨å†æ¯ä¸ªæœˆç»™ä½ çˆ¸å¦ˆå¯„生活费。â€
  “ä¸ç”¨æ¯å¹´è·Ÿä½ ååŠå¤©çš„车。æç€å¤§åŒ…å°åŒ…èµ°å多里山路。åªä¸ºé™ªä½ çˆ¶æ¯åƒé¡¿å¹´å¤œé¥­ã€‚â€
  “是啊。离婚。真是太好了。â€
  说完这些。我泪如泉涌。
  而他则楞楞的看ç€æˆ‘。
  我一直都表现的很冷é™ã€‚
  å¯æ˜¯ã€‚一点酒精就把我的内心出å–了。
  三å多å²çš„女人。è°ä¸åœ¨ä¹Žè‡ªå·±ç»è¥å¤šå¹´çš„婚姻。
  我åˆç¬‘èµ·æ¥ã€‚
  “离å§ã€‚离了看你得æ„多久。â€
  “你å分爱她是å§ã€‚她也å分爱你是å§ã€‚â€
  “走到一起åŽã€‚一起生活几年。看你还会ä¸ä¼šè§åˆ°å¥¹å°±å¿ƒè·³åŠ é€Ÿã€‚â€
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  “等你折腾够了就会å‘现。â€
  “你åªæ˜¯æŠŠæˆ‘们走过的路åˆé‡å¤èµ°äº†ä¸€é而已。â€
  “你醉了。â€ä»–有些紧张的看ç€æˆ‘。
  “我没有天真å•çº¯è¿‡å—。我没有年轻美丽过å—。â€
  “我把你é€çš„一åªé“œæˆ’指。一本书。一枚书签视若çå®ã€‚â€
  “冒ç€ä¸¥å¯’为你织手套。â€
  “我也å分爱过。â€
  “å¯æ˜¯èµ°è¿›å©šå§»ã€‚女人的角色就å¤æ‚了。â€
  “在爱的åŒæ—¶ã€‚有了很多责任。â€
  “她ä¸å¯èƒ½å†å分专注的爱一个人。â€
  “她è¦ä»Žè¿™å分爱中分出一分爱公公婆婆。â€
  “åˆè¦ä»Žä¸­åˆ†å‡ºä¸€åˆ†æ¥çˆ±è‡ªå·±çš„父æ¯ã€‚â€
  “还è¦ä»Žä¸­åˆ†ä¸€åˆ†æ¥çˆ±å­©å­ã€‚â€
  “å分的爱ç»è¿‡å©šå§»çš„洗礼。â€
  “就åªå‰©ä¸‹äº†ä¸ƒåˆ†ã€‚â€
  “当å¦ä¸€ä»½å分的爱袭击她的幸ç¦æ—¶ã€‚她就无以抵挡。â€
  “拉ç€å°å§çš„手。一股暖æµæ¶Œå¿ƒå¤´ã€‚â€
  “拉ç€æƒ…人的手。酸甜苦辣样样有。â€
  “拉ç€è€å©†çš„手。等于左手摸å³æ‰‹ã€‚â€
  “左手å³æ‰‹éƒ½æ˜¯è‡ªå·±çš„手。è€å©†æ¯•ç«Ÿæ˜¯è‡ªå·±çš„å·¦å³æ‰‹ã€‚用刀划破自己的左臂å³è†€æ—¶ã€‚痛的ä¸æ­£æ˜¯è‡ªå·±å—。â€
  最终。他åšæŒä¸è¦ç¦»å©šã€‚
  我问原因了。
  他说。
  你清醒的时候没有醉酒的时候ç†æ™ºã€‚
  也没有醉酒的时候èªæ˜Žã€‚
  你把我骂醒了。的确啊。这个家是æ¥ä¹‹ä¸æ˜“的。
  ä¸ä¼šæœ‰äººæ¯”你更了解我。
  也ä¸ä¼šæœ‰äººèƒ½ä»£æ›¿ä½ åœ¨å­©å­å¿ƒç›®ä¸­çš„ä½ç½®çš„。
  我努力打拼了这么久æ¢æ¥çš„美满家庭。
  我差点亲手æ¯æŽ‰ã€‚
  è€å©†ã€‚对ä¸èµ·ã€‚原æ¥æœ€çˆ±æˆ‘的人。
  一直都在我身边。
  原æ¥ä¸èƒ½æ²¡æœ‰å¯¹æ–¹çš„人。
  是我。
  爱。ä¸æ˜¯**。
  爱。是想和她ç¡è§‰ã€‚
  相伴一生的枕边人。
  谢谢æŸäººã€‚勾引我è€å…¬ã€‚
  谢谢æŸäººã€‚让我è€å…¬çŸ¥é“。
  他最爱的人是è°ã€‚
  ç»ä¸èµ·è¯±æƒ‘的男人们。
  请仔细看看你家的“黄脸婆â€éƒ½ä¸ºä½ åšäº†äº›ä»€ä¹ˆã€‚
  为你付出了多少心血。
  åƒäº†å¤šå°‘苦。
  还在默默的支æŒç€ä½ ã€‚
 

scopefun

New Member
Yeah, he'd come back and plea with you... silly woman, then fucked elsewhere again and again lah...

Margret, so what if a woman finds PI and bla bla bla? What is she trying to do? Destroy her marriage?

If she doesn't find PI and accept those lies FOREVER, won't she have what she wants? A marriage! Yeah~

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha~
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha~

So funny. Singaporean women are very very entertaining.
 

margret

Member
scope, u will never understand. As u are not married.

We Singaporean women is better than u. That's why u can never get anyone to love and marry u.
 

sweet_40

New Member
Scope, dun think u understand women fully.

We dun like hubby to hide things from us, the more they hide the more we think n wants to dig.

The reasons why women engage a PI is to convince tat our 6th sense r wrong, our suspicions r wrong, etc.... We r not trying to destroy our marriage but we just wan to know what is happening coz when we ask hubby they always seem to hide something from us. We dun like tat kind of feeling n want to know the truth.

I know some wives who found the truth after engaging PI, they actually cool down n ponder over it n they decided to destroy the evidence n pretend nothing happen. They stopped questioning n hear no lies anymore, they change their lifestyle n make an effort working towards their marriage n guess wat their hubby change, too.

Leaving a marriage is always an easy way out. Staying in one n work on it is a harder way. Nowadays pple chose easy way out of every problems, we no longer believe in hard work. Which explain why nowadays so many couples r divorcing.
 

scopefun

New Member
Margret,

Actually, I have dated Singaporean women... the thing is just the opposite, they wanted to marry I didn't want to.

Better than me?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Hope so.

Sweet40,

Just too bad, I am a man with alot of secrets. The only thing that I won't lie is that I have other women...

But you are right, some wives marrying for the sake of marrying would just destroy the evidence and go on with a love-less marriage. Even Irene Kang that idiot... Jack Neo's situation is known to all, she can still stay.

I won't doubt that. This is Singapore women Margret is saying who are better than me. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha... Please, I have no doubt Irene was a beauty when she was younger, but I will not marry an idiotic Singaporean woman.

I think I have explained the issue of 'hard work'. The real explanation why nowadays many couples just divorce is simply because they don't understand love.

Down has two kids, everybody can say I don't know what women want because I don't suggest Down should divorce... and such.

Just that I don't want to give what women want... other than love.

It's not that I don't understand women... though I really don't understand why women love me. I know what they want in a relationship, but it's true... I don't want marriage.

I hate marriage. I find marriage disgusting. I hate to be tied down with a stupid international law that will have loopholes.

Most women online are selfish... it can be seen in Down's case. They never give real thots about the children and their needs. Many just insist on divorce. I remember Margret asked me... if my wife betray me...

Women...

You want this you want that, are you worthy? That's the question.

Why should men be expected to give you what you want?

To Margret again,

If that's why I can never get anyone to love and marry me, that's fine.

Just yesterday, I had sex with a new girl I met. She's Malaysian working in Singapore. She loves me... she wants me... till she wants marriage, I don't mind. I also need company.

And you women can go on talking about I don't understand what women want.

I don't need to. So why should I care???
 

jenny_lim

New Member
u can boast how much u want. no one believed u.

to u u think if a women have sex with u means he love u? U are childish, u are naive. If i am not wrong that is a prostitute who just want your money. No need to reply u will say otherwise
 

jenny_lim

New Member
Actually u are no different from a animal, just having sex without love. Also u don't have to boast around claiming how many women want u and such. If a women can have sex with u on the first time u meet, it show how cheapsake she is. So it's no surprise only this kind of women love u. LOLS
 

margret

Member
HA HA HA. There is a good joke. I really can't take it anymore. U really make me laugh.

U are the kind of people who don't know what is love. U went to a hooker and u think u so great that she want to marry u. HAHAHA. This is the kind of man who had being cheated by so many women.
 

scopefun

New Member
Strange. I am too scare of STDs to visit hookers, Margret.

You said Singaporean women are better than me... Hahahahahahah~

I am scare of STDs, and you still assume without basis, is this the standard of Singapore women? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Please. You don't represent Singapore women.
 

margret

Member
I don't represent All Singaporean women. I am talking about myself who knows what is love and marriage.

U don't have to be proud just because a Malaysia women went to bed with u( if it's truth). Because Singaporean women are too smart, u won't stand a chance with them.
 

scopefun

New Member
Janey,

Why am I a scum?

What's so good about Singapore women who only impress me by calling me scum, hoping me get STDs, hoping me to get hookers and what...

Give you all a chance to show me how good you really are. Hahahahahahaha...

Assume more, and keep me entertained.

Tell me, why should I know what Singaporean women want? This kind of standard still can ask me to give them what they want... I'd be amazed.

Am I a scum? Am I not just pointing out the obvious?

Margret, just keep on laughing like a joker. Hahahahahahaha...

语尽è¯ç©·å°±æ— ç†å–闹,这就是新加å¡å¥³äººï¼ŸHahahahahahaha~

本大爷哪会稀罕这ç§å¥³äººï¼Ÿ
 

scopefun

New Member
Margret,

Too bad, I have not only dated 3 Singaporean babes, and... there were mine.

If Singaporean women are as smart as you... or May Tan, you won't need a PI. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Please lah, I am not only a man, I am also a school debater. Don't come talking nosense when you can't justify.

All my girls know I am scare of STDs, that's why I don't go to hookers. You made me laugh so hard...

Yes. You don't represent all Singaporean women, that's very obvious.

So tell me, Singapore woman... why do I need to know what women want? Other than insulting my girlfriends... even insulting fellow Singapore women who were mine, may I know is that the best our Margret can do?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

You have never met a man like me, Margret.
 

margret

Member
Yes, thank God. I will never never met a man like u.

Anyway u can boast who u are, what so great about school debater? is this the only thing other than saying u have sex with a women on the first date?
 

ckgal

Member
Scope, give to see in the mirror(if the mirror don't crack) and u will see a scum. Or am i wrong? u are worse than a scum.

LOLs
 

scopefun

New Member
Hahahahahahahahaha...

No no no no no, don't thank God, God is punishing you by not having you met a man like myself.

You know, Margret... You are really childish. Look at yourself... æ— ç†å–闹,说è¯ä¸ç»è¿‡å¤§è„‘,笑也ä¸çŸ¥é“笑什么, what kind of men do you expect to meet?

If you are the mother of your son, will you want a daughter-in-law to be talking like you?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha~

There is nothing great about school debater, but even that, I know you can't be a school debater.

If you want to talk about how smart Singaporean women are, at least you have to represent them, and to do so, you must have some impressive qualities. Am I not right to say that?

Now look at you...

Repent?
 

ckgal

Member
ha ha ha. Who is the moron going around calling names, when people expose them. U REALLY GOOD FOR NOTHING.

No way any women will love u. U are really sick. Anyway no use to argue with u. i have better thing to do on a sunday. not like a loser like u, staying at home alone.
 

margret

Member
god is really good to me. Even if i know u, i will never never be associate with u.

At least i am using english, not like u who can't express yourself.

Ya ya. Talking to you now make me puke.

Shut up and behave like a man.

There are better things to do than to talk to a scum. Ha ha ha.
 

scopefun

New Member
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Impossible women are impossible.

No no no no no no, you really need a man who can reign you in. But really, look at yourself, even if you do meet such a man, with what will you keep him with? Hahahahahahahahahahaha...

English or Chinese, you can't even express in Chinese? Education has then failed for you lah~ So you are really a waste of all those years of subsidies. If you are a chinese, then you are just a brat who has no respect for your own ancestry. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Why should I shut up? Hahahahahaha...

Are you a man? How do you know I am not behaving a man? Hahahahahahahahahaha...

You women are so funny, entertaining to be exact. I really like to know what kind of men would want such jokers. Hahahahahahahahaha...

简直是无ç†å–é—¹~嘿嘿嘿~
 

guest28

New Member
Woman having sex with u on the 1st date doesn't mean she love u, she's just want to satisfy her sexual needs as u...
 

scopefun

New Member
New woman doesn't mean we haven't been seeing each other for 7 days. I don't know how come the 'sex on 1st date' occurs.

But I do agree that women have sexual needs.
 

may_tan

New Member
Actually, I hope if you don't mind, please don't argue here. Sorry Scope, but I don't think your comments helps in the forum but just agitate the people here. Maybe if you have any constructive comments, we welcome you, definitely, if not, please kindly refrain.

I don't have a hidden agenda. I am wondering if I should wait for him to turn back. I know I am silly but I love him still and not to want to let go of the marriage and if he is willing to work with me. I met him just now, I know I am silly, to ask if he wants to try to rebuild the marriage by going for counselling together and work towards a common goal, he was astonished. He expressed some difficulty, not sure if he is still making plans with the 3rd party. Actually I can't tell very well if he is still hiding stuff from me.

I also sorted out some stuff like asking why it is my fault only like I am not spicing up our marriage life and why he didn't play an active part in suggesting. I have been kind not to pressurise him to drive elsewhere to eat after he had a long day of driving around and he dislike queuing up for food at crowded places, and now it is my fault for always going to eat at nearby places. I really lashed out at him for the first time after he came up with so many crap reasons on how boring marriage life is for him and he needs his freedom, etc.

At the end of today, I felt better. I felt that I have tried, and tried hard to save our marriage. And I have explained my position better that "look it is NOT my fault that we had a so called boring marriage life". And I walked away knowing and feeling that it is better not to salvage a marriage with a undeserving guy like him. I felt that I have seen a clearer picture and instead of compromising, I could get a better guy and relationship in future.
 

inloveandwar

New Member
Congrats , u gain enlightenment. The biggest revenge u can do now is to make yourself stronger, better and prettier, one day when he sees u again, he will regret letting u go.
 

scopefun

New Member
You are not the only one with problem here, May Tan. These people are problems themselves.

Agitating them? LOL~

这些人根本ä¸è®²é“ç†ï¼Œæ— ç†å–闹,简直和疯å­å·®ä¸å¤šã€‚

Seriously, they are my personal entertainment. They have nothing but blind personal attacks, and they think they are very smart. LOL~

Just a bunch of clowns, you know...

I know your feelings on this matter. But you are wrong. I don't think you ever realise the need to realise WHY he was dating outside in the first place. And why he won't stop dating thereafter. All I see is you, you just want the marriage, you just hence do this do that...

Of course he's astonished.

Compared to these morons who likes blind personal attacks, interestingly, I used to counsel women. See? I know all your problems...

Your approach is understandable, but self-centred. You just want the marriage to go on for the sake of it.

So after all these, tell me why he dates outside, and why when he was confronted he said he got problems with this marriage... hmm? Why ah?

What makes you so sure he won't date and have sex anymore outside?

In Love and War congrats you, he/she is just talking rubbish.

You do not love him. You don't choose to understand him, how can you love him?

And you are right... You CAN'T tell very well if he is still hiding stuff from you.

May, the problem is still there... silly.

You expect the morons here to sayang you? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Try to be entertained by these morons and me, but don't try to interrupt. It's bad for your sanity.
 

musica77

New Member
Been reading a few posts here and can't help but feel administrator should really do something about this scope guy who's been nothing but a menance and nuisance. God created people with different personalities to make this world a more colorful place but this is really absurd for his case
 

simpleman

Active Member
There are two ways to handle crap people here.

One is you complain to the moderator - which I believe may not be effective.

The other most effective way is to ignore that person 100%. However, most people here, mostly women cannot understand this and continue to engage and yet they are complaining about him. The more then complain or even scolding him - the more is he engaged and it will go on and on. This is a simple logic but most would not be able to see it or refuse to see it this way.

Have fun guys and gals.
 

ckgal

Member
ya, i agree with u. but sometime it's very difficult to ignore him.

there is another way. expose his true identity in real life and he will dare not post anymore nonsense or he might even disappear.
 

scopefun

New Member
一群垃圾~呵呵呵呵~

想投诉就投诉å§ï¼Œåæ­£ä¸è¦è„¸çš„是你们这些幼稚无èŠçš„饭桶。
 

a_reader

New Member
I think in real life, he has no family, no love, no gf, no sex, no money, just plain jack looking, no confidence, no good job. Due to lack of above, he imagines he has all of the above and imagines he is so well-loved by so many women (thus his claim of he has 100 over gf). Just living in the beautiful dream he creates for himself, to make up for what he lacks in real life.

One who claims to be looking for the "One" will not be so loose sleeping around with girls. With such low quality sleeping around, I reckon he expects his the "One" also to sleep around lossely. So how good is the "One" he is looking? If not, how can his perfect the One" accepts his imperfection? How can he expects a perfect the "One" if he is so imperfect in the first place? If he really has so many gf as he claims, or so many girls go after him, wouldn't he be decreasing his chance of finding his the "One" the more he sleeps around (cos he is making him more imperfect which fails him to be anybody's the "One").

His theory of people's marriage fails because they have failed to find the "One" to marry. Ok, Scope, then tell me, how do you find the "One"? How are you so sure the person you have found is the "One"?

When he fails to further his argument, he will just degrade to calling people names.

He is not constructive in his comments/opinions but mostly just engage in childish scolding, attack and name calling. He disregards topics discussed in threads and come in just to keep himself entertained at the expense of the feeling of TS who starts threads asking for opinion or advice.

This type of people is just pitiful. Let's just pity him for his lack of everything.
 

a_reader

New Member
Expected response from him. My point proven.

Another point to take note :
People who boast excessively - (eg have >100 gf, so many girls find him great lover, able to bed a girl just known) - these are the people who lack self-confidence and most of the time also lack the things they are boasting. So normally they are actually the opposite of what they are boasting.

Forums are just one good platform for excessively boasting since he is just hiding behind the computer as avatar, there is no need to prove these are true.

Put it this way, if he has so much charisma to be able to attract so many women, why do so many people in this forum find him annoying? If he has charisma, he will be attractive as well even in his words.
 

scopefun

New Member
You open a new account all because of me...

ä¸çŸ¥é“赞你够无èŠï¼Œè¿˜æ˜¯è¯´ä½ çœŸç™½ç—´ã€‚

简直是个moron.

原æ¥æˆ‘那么有影å“力。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~

这么多户å£å°±æ˜¯ä¸ºäº†æˆ‘开,难å…感到è£å¹¸ã€‚哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~

å¯æƒœæ¥çš„都是疯å­ã€‚

éšä½ ä»¬çŒœï¼Œåªæ˜¯ç¬‘得最大声的就是我了。
 

a_reader

New Member
This you also can boast? Ok ok, you have å½±å“力 (everyone just thinks the opposite will do, we understand). Amidst so many sad stories in this forum, you are one big joker to liven the mood.

Didn't know in this world, there can be so high degree of 自æ‹ç‹‚。No problem, I understand, cos you are deficient in so many things, including your er, down there? So you got to boast to self-console. No problem. I understand.

Oh, we are morons. Yes yes, we are morons cos' you are the moron. Remember you talk the opposite? So when you say we are the moron, actually you are the moron. Thank you for your compliment.
 

scopefun

New Member
Hahahahahahahahaha...

Go on guessing. Nowadays MOE teaching is about teaching students to think a thesis on pure guesses and imagination.

Hahahahahahahahahaha...

If I am not wrong, your 1 and 2 and 3 posts in this forum are about me. Hahahahahahahaha... Seeking my attention, and you get some attention just like a beggar.

But if you have nothing concrete to spell, eventually I'd be tired of your nosense when the fun ends...

By the way, exactly how old are you?
 

a_reader

New Member
Psychology defines the frequent use of words like "Hahahahahahahahaha...", "哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~", and incessant scolding of people "morons","白痴", "ç–¯å­ " etc as a way to cover up self-deficiency, thus the self-consoling laugh and incessant retaliation via scolding.

You fit the bill. You claim this yourself.

I am happy to be entertained by you.
 

ckgal

Member
he is lonely, no one wan to be with him, a loser in real life, that why he have so much time writing nonsense here and making people angry with him to attract attention.
 

scopefun

New Member
Well, you have come to 4 posts and that's the best you can do...

Not entertaining. I was looking for something special from a moron who tries to act smart. Hahahahahahahahahahaha~

If you enjoy talking to yourself, you should create more accounts. Hahahahahahahahahaha...

Morons.
 

a_reader

New Member
Of course I am not entertaining. But you are.

Of course I am not a moron trying to act smart. But you are.

Keep entertaining me. After reading so many sad stories in this forum, I don't mind having some entertainment from you.
 

whyagain

New Member
Hi May,

I feel for you.

In fact, it's quite simple to know if your husband still loves you anot.. like what my husband told me, if a man really has an affair, the man would have divorced the wife cos having an affair means he already loves someone else, not the wife anymore.

If there's an affair, the man will be going out with the other party all the time, and will not still be here with the wife, trying to amend the broken pieces and work the marriage out.

To err is human, sometimes they just succumb to temptations but not to the extent of giving up their wife or not loving the wife anymore..

Does your husband shows signs of staying or wanting to work your marriage out?
 

cococherry

New Member
he mentioned that he wants his freedom, he's already attracted to his life outside and that should have been for quite some time. I believe he knows its not gonna work in this passionless marriage.
May, it's definitely not yr fault solely cause I believe he had lost the interest to make things work and His heart had changed. Some couple can perform the same old task daily but never feel bored. He will not plead unless experiencing problems with ToW and it seem like yr husband didn't really intend to continue the marriage anymore.
 

sweet_40

New Member
But I know some men wanted the best of both worlds. They do not wish to divorce wife not becoz still love them but becoz of responsibilities n convenient. They appreciate wat their wife had done for the family n they need someone to b at home for the children, house, parents, etc.. While the men have their fun outside.

Men like the freedom to do the things tat they wan with no restraint. They wan to feel young n happy once again, they like new excitement, do things tat they nor do b4......

They will only divorce when the wife found out abt the affair n demand it, when their gf is pregnant or when their gf demand a marriage.

Some men know where to stop (all men is the same but the degree of wanting this freedom is different as different men have different needs) but some dun know. That is why some men turn back in time n some can't.

Bottomline is wat do u wan? Do u just wan to b in a marriage so u have a complete family but no love (just like matchmake couples in olden times) or be on own where u r in control of yr own life or to b in a blissful marriage (have to work on it)?
 

may_tan

New Member
I think he is still seeing her and keeping in touch with her. And he is still lying and never have the guts to admit. He has no balls, is a coward and perpetual liar.

Last Sunday, I met him outside. He went for a longer than usual toilet break. I suspect he went to text TOW concerning our conversation. I maybe panaroid. But read on.

When I asked him if he is intending to marry her after our divorce. He straight away said no no no... I looked at him and asked again. He looked into my eyes and said NO. He said he is not going to get married and divorce and the alimony stuff all over again.

It sends shiver down my spine, as his expression looks like the same when he first lied to me after returning home at 4am. Then I asked him who is the 3rd party. He said no. I pleaded him many times. And he looked into my eyes and said NO, saying that dating is not for him, all he wants is freedom. He is not going to go into the dating game and lost his freedom, freedom to be with his friends and doing what he likes and be accountable to someone. But what happened? He went shopping with her, holding hands, hugging, kissing in shopping malls and parks like a new lovey dovey couple. Is that dating or a fling? He is lying!

And last Sunday's question, he still lied. After that I went away feeling relieved. Because I don't think even if I am keen to rebuild the marriage after all that he has done and to trust him again, he is ready to stop his lies. Actually it is not the act that disgusts me the most. It is the deceit. When I asked him on last Sunday if he had made plan to marry her, if it is yes, he can tell me so that I can move on. He should have mercy on me in this sense. But he didn't and choose to lie. I believe in my sixth sense and his expressions and words were the same when he first lied to me. He has no guts. He would only blame our marriage which I honour so much for his extra marital affairs and refused to look at himself for his contribution into his so called boring marriage.

A marriage cannot be broken except under 2 conditions: till death do us part or broken by external forces. The marriage is dead, and no matter how hard I want to revive it, I know very well, there is no way to. I just can't believe that the man whom I always thought promised to grow old with me and travel with me would change into this callous heartless guy... This is the most heart-broken part. I know I am naive but that is how much I have contributed to my marriage and trusted him.
 

cococherry

New Member
May's husband didn't ask for forgiveness and one most important factor he will not hesitate to divorce is that they have no children. It's easy to sever this relationship to start another family with his tow.
End of the day, many will choose their own happiness than responsibility. Children plays an crucial role, many men couldn't bear to lose their kids.i could be wrong but from her two posts it just seem he had planned something.
 


may_tan

New Member
At the end of the day, I know that he would regret. On this earth, no one would love him more than I do although he kept saying that our marriage is boring when all I think are his needs and place them above mine.

When he first came back late at 1.30am and did not tell me this year, I called his mobile phone and there was no response, I called 2 hospitals A & E department to check if he had got into an accident since his phone is dead and he was rarely out until so late. That was the first time when he came home and tell me bs stuff like he went out to think things and wanted his freedom. My jaws dropped. When we travel overseas, the cost is always a 50-50 split as I love him not his money. I have always done my part to make him feel that we are together not because of money and because of love. I am sure that he would not find someone else who loves him so much like I do and I am sure if he leaves me he would regret. My love for him is genuine and not self-seeking... But what I have not done is guarding the intrusion of the third party into my marriage. Or perhaps he is just like this, and I have not really seen and known the real him when dating.
 

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