He is imperfect cos go around f so many women. So he just assumes every marriage will break down and every man is like him. And all the breakdown because of the women's fault, because women fail to find the "One". But has he ever offered the definition of the "One" and how to find? And when found someone, how to guarantee it is the "One"? Just talking rot.
See his many posts demeaning women who are in marital problems.
Scope, EU women are good. But please ponder whether you are good for them? Don't come back crying they dump you cos you are so imperfect! When you think they are your the "One", they might think you are not their the "One". So happy searching.....
Ever since I told him he has a comprehension problem, he has been using it against me. Stop mimicking me. If you have a valid point, you do not need these insults and shock tactics. Did u say u were in debate team? I was wondering why ur arguments feel so high school. Talk abt arrested development. Seriously, get ur own vocab and stick to the point. I might respect u more.
For a man, you not only do not think highly of women, you do not even think highly of ur own gender. You assume if a woman is cheated on, she is stupid. You assume if a man cheats, he doesn't love his wife or he cannot control his urges. Not everything is so black and white. So ur idea of a marriage consists of a stupid woman and a lecherous man? I wonder how humans managed to evolve with such terrible DNA....
And then u assume that all men are the scums you describe, well it takes one to know one. But there are good honest men with integrity, who are actually happy in a committed relationship and they are actually have some depth. The reason you cannot accept this fact is you're not one of these men, and perhaps you even secretly want to be one. The good news is u can, it's ur choice.
Of cos a person tries to be his best when he's in love, but what happens when the first rush of love fades? If he is someone when single likes to frequent massage parlours and hookers, who is to say he won't slip into his old ways when he experiences stress in the Rs? While a good man may or may not succumb to temptation if it finds him, he generally doesn't go looking for it.
The difference between the 2 is the man who visits the hookers is weak, he chose a temp fix. The other man learned skills to figure out long term solutions to his problems. You understand what I'm saying, everything is a series of choices. I won't argue w u over fate, to each his own. But fate only takes you so far, in the end you must choose.
For you to insult people the way you do in this forum, calling everyone moron, why are you surprised that they are impossible?! It's like u chose to hit someone and expect them to not retaliate. You have a choice, you can be nice and others will be nice and if you don't, don't expect any different.
Firstly, I am not a gender. I am not race. I am not a profession. I am just me, he is just he, you are just you.
Secondly, this is ANOTHER one of your baseless assumptions: "The reason you cannot accept this fact is you're not one of these men, and perhaps you even secretly want to be one..."
There is no such thing as a first rush of love, darling. If you mistake the excitment of romance or just the moment of experience with something new... this is NEVER love. Love is something that lasts a long long long time. Basically, eternally.
There is no such thing as the man goes to hookers, he's weak, he'd will do it again more than a man who doesn't...
It's the same as saying... the man who will abuse Soisuka will certainly abuse another woman who turns out to compatible and will then bla bla bla... No no no no, your thinking is wrong.
Let me give you a very simple example... A perfect couple... once the woman dies and the man met another, the man could end up going to hookers or quarreling or fighting and divorce. Man is not an equation.
I don't know why I am here explaining this... because you won't likely to comprehend. But I hope some other people will realise this.
I do not call everyone morons. LOL~ If you are not a moron, you are not. If you are a moron, you are.
Did I call Piggyan a Moron? I don't recall so. See? You got a comprehension problem, and it's not really because you errantly used that on me.
Remember, my darling... There is no such thing as marrying a good man of integrity or what the fock... It's either the One, or...
Would you marry a ugly fat man with bad breath no money but with integrity...? No right?
There are men who APPEAR to be good honest and got integrity... like me lah... GOOD, BLUNT, and got integrity. Hahahahahahahahahaha... Now the point is, how with your thinking will you ever sort them out?
I can be good to you, I can be BLUNT to you, I have more integrity than Milo Meelo who will turn and twist with Zulu, Hokkien, or even turtle-shell language...
Now let's be honest, Soisuka... Look at Margret, she is telling me Singaporean women are so smart...
... so smart in front of May...
Please... I have been trying to be nice. But LOGICALLY speaking, I definitely have a trouble in trying to settle in you people's funny funny logic.
Honestly, and GOODLY, I am absolutely blunt.
And I have to tell you... there is no such thing as a good man or a bad man. It's only the One or it's not. He either loves you forever and ever, or he's not. Simple and straight.
It's impossible to WORK and expect the marriage works. No no no, it doesn't work that way.
So it's still: If you don't want to cry later, you don't start with the wrong guy.
May has a choice... Maybe she got a One, and he is NOT married yet. But Faith probably has no choice... if she were to be hit, because unlikely a man will be single at 40yo...
That's why May is probably lucky things happen fast.
The only way to avoid a repeat for May is to learn to HUNT for the One.
If she is not prepared for the hunt, then don't expect too much from men. She could have kept her marriage (an empty shell right from the beginning) if she chooses to be stupid and not send PIs. She won't.
Woah what a flying rage.... Actually u still don't make alot of sense here, maybe I don't have a comprehension problem but u have a logic problem? You keep proving to us time and time again that u have no integrity nor respect for any one...u treat everyone here like they are beneath you.
All ur so called logic here just sounds shallow and baseless. Not once did u provide proof nor background to back up ur claims. I'm guessing u will say u dun need to defend urself?
An abusive man whether physical or emotional will remain abusive until he recognizes the problem and get help. By saying that he will abuse me but not a more compatible one, are you saying that I asked for it? Aren't u blaming the victim? aren't u in effect furthering my hurt?
Read all the comments u write, how many is spent blaming the woman for being stupid. Go read it if u have any rational mind left. You can twist and turn and make illogical arguments till ur blue in the face. I do NOT buy ur crap.
You're just spewing words here that don't even make sense, is English even ur first language? Seriously what's ur agenda other than to make people feel bad and stir up arguments. You're a troll.....LEAVE
As to ur qn abt whether I would marry a fat ugly man with bad breath, no money but got integrity. Here's the truth, my ex is fat, not good looking, not much money and occasionally he has bad breath. I almost married him until I realised he had no integrity.
The thing I don't get abt the forum is this, a lot of you man or women will blame the victim more than the offender. If a man cheats, the woman did too much or did too little, or the woman never choose properly or she has low self worth or self esteem or this or that. It's rubbish!
Man got brain too, they think no?! They make choices no? They know it's wrong to lie and cheat and exposes their partners to hurt and potential diseases no? They are grown men with free will. Come on!
It is this mentality of letting the offender off the hook that is creating entire generations of cheaters. Other men tell them it's ok, women say they're just being men, their partners forgives them. Are they ever reprimanded or punished? How many of these men realise the pain and damage they brought to the Rs, how many of them are truly remorseful?
I don't care if a man never promises anything or ever say he loves me, leaves. If I choose to get hook up with no promises its my choice. But once a man makes a woman believe he loves her and then he hurts her deliberately. It is HIS fault.
Seriously Scope, You DO have a comprehension problem.
I wrote, "Of cos a person tries to be his best when he's in love, but what happens when the first rush of love fades? If he is someone when single likes to frequent massage parlours and hookers, who is to say he won't slip into his old ways when he experiences stress in the Rs? While a good man may or may not succumb to temptation if it finds him, he generally doesn't go looking for it."
Have you never had the luxury of experiencing the honeymoon phase? If you haven't, i feel sorry for you.
In essence, what I am saying is, after this phase, love becomes something less intense, it could become like the kind u experience in friendship or family. Basically, just different, less intense. If you had a solid foundation, the rs goes on, if you don't, when the true colors shows, the rs might fail.
I do not mistake the first rush of love as true love, I understand it as just what it is, a rush, a crush, whatever . I am more interested in what happens after. You don't seem to understand my reasoning, or read beyond just words. You are twisting my meaning either for the sake of arguing or your comprehension is just poor.
I am actually agreeing with you and you still find ways to have a debate... APPLAUSE!!!
I wrote the below, please read properly..... I actually agree with you....
"I do not mistake the first rush of love as true love, I understand it as just what it is, a rush, a crush, whatever . I am more interested in what happens after. "
I don't want to argue the good boy bad boy thing. All I'm saying is u let an offender go free often enough, he or she will think its ok to keep doing it. And if bystanders keep focusing on what the victim did or did not do then all the more the offender will keep doing it.
And besides men get to choose too, if the so called good man have no balls to act on his so called love, don't blame the woman for choosing the jerk. It does take two to start a Rs u know.
Nicole Ng chose... Ting Yi told me, it was 2009, and she should be now close to 40yo...
I CANNOT tell her she chose the wrong guy. I can't! Because I am NOT the One for her. So I said... she has to decide. Love is fate, I can't say he's definitely lying.
Even I... am a 'victim' of this game. Because IF the girl chose a jerk who doesn't really love her, I WILL BE banished. And what wrong did I do? My error is because I fell in love with her, and it wasn't my choice to love her. I just love her, till now and forever.
When it comes to love, it's very simple... The women, including Ting Yi, will choose.
And when you choose, you also choose to banish. It's not just you choose and that's it. If he is not the One, you banish the One when you chose a jerk. So in this game...
You find it very funny May was lambasted... She chose a jerk, she WILL choose a jerk again if she never learns. And at the same time, she'd not seek the One, and the One will be banished.
Did u ever consider that she chose the other jerk bcos ur the bigger jerk or perhaps she just doesn't love you. I dunno why you think ur a goodie though, goodie pp generally don't insult pp or put them down or kick them when they're down. Are u like bitter or just delusional about own self image?
Entertain this theory of mine, bcos ur love for her is forever and ur upset that she didn't choose u, so whomever ur with, you're never gonna really love her or be happy. So do u think whomever ur with will ever be?
Ok maybe we are agreeing to a certain degree. I think I will choose a jerk whom I believe loves me over a good guy who doesn't.
But men also can choose and they do choose. Love and Rs is not just the responsibility of women u know? You expect women to shoulder all the burden and the decision making? If my ex had chosen me over his addiction and lies, believe me I will stay. But he didn't, he chose to lie, he chose his addiction. He didn't fight for us, he didn't fight for the truth or love, he didn't fight for anything. Like you, he thinks women choose, he thinks women alone decide the life and death of a Rs.
But I don't believe in the one and only. I believe we will love many people over our life time. And when it ends, the love u have will slowly fade and becomes just nostalgia. If you don't let the old love go, where is the space for a new one? Love maybe fate but commitment is a choice.
It just sounds like u have an intense hatred for women over this one woman who didn't choose u.
Well... In gambling, nobody choose to lose, the gambler always blame lady luck. Indeed lady luck can bless and give you good endings... But why not ah?
Cos you are a gambler.
Men can choose... if you let man choose, how many emperors in history only choose one, may I ask?
Very sorry. For men, it is possible to TRULY love multiple women. What May has encountered is a guy who never truly loved her. See?
Intense hatred for women...
Indeed I am devastated even now to learn of her marriage. It's very sweet to hate her... but I can't. Actually since 16 years ago, I had my time with other women. I don't hate those women. In fact I felt for them.
So now we entertain your theory...
You are too narrow but you think too much.
I never really think the woman I love chose a jerk, the only thing from my experience is that man is immature, and I doubt he truly loves her. She has probably become a property...
But I am quite sure when the woman I love is old and ugly and there is temptation... the man will be lost.
Am I a bigger jerk? LOL~
Too bad I am not going to print 'good' on my forehead, engrave 'honesty' in my chest, and burn 'integrity' onto my penis...
Of course you don't know why I am goodie.
Pretenders usually won't insult pp or put them down or kick them when they are down.
Am I bitter or just delusional about self-image?
Have I been bothered about morons like JennyLim, A Reader and bla bla bla? Are you born yesterday?
I am not bitter because the woman I love is in the arms of another... Moron is moron, I have my own 'thesis', I don't need to be bitter or delusional.
You people are the ones who need to think about your self-image.
Are you bitter towards men because of addiction and lies? Hehe~
I believe in the One and only... I am going to love that woman forever, and try to stop me... ...
You are not a very good people-reader... Hopefully you will become more mature in time to come.
Ever since you lost woman, Scope, you've been blaming women with failed marriages here for choosing their men in the first place. Sosuika is right. The men chose too. It's a mutual decision. No one forced any one to be together in this case. You sound so bitter that your gal married some other man but you and that she's gonna be upset in her marriage because she didn't choose to be with you the right one. Seems to me that you're super duper affected till today that you can't help but to think women with marital problems all chose the wrong men due to their own selfish reasons and not 'true love'.
Wow, I'm totally amazed by your ability to remember tiny facts about my hubby kissing me on one of our dates and you even tried to size him up by indicating that this shows a person's lack of honesty/integrity and that gals just love bad guys? Duh. A man who kisses another without permission? I would have given him a slap if I didn't enjoy that and he wouldn't have been my hubby today. You really cock in your inability to rationalise due to your overwhelmingly agonised emotions over the gal you lost many years back.
C'mon, look forward in life. The day you're blissfully married to your european wife will be the day we'll start listening to your success stories okay?
Of course you enjoyed that kiss, which is the point. Because you enjoyed, so he is ok. If it was others, you'd say it's no honesty, no good, no integrity... Read again.
Whether the woman choose me or not, it doesn't affect my thought. Because this comes from experience from many women, and deep research in sociology and psychology. If you do not comprehend, why not you try to apply?
Soisuka is of course right lah... it's always mutual decision, HOWEVER, you as a woman chose and chose the choice the man made. The man has chosen to love you or not... So May has married a man who chose to fock and go...
As in the 'experiment', if I were to woo May alongside with the Jerk, I won't get to fock May... And her casualty starts with the wrong man.
If I were to be good and honest and proper with integrity, I won't choose to kiss you, and you'd never get to enjoy the kiss... Which is, I will never get to fock you. Got it?
What I was pointing to Soisuka is simple. Women choose who to be the One, not the One.
Then I also point out to Soisuka, given that me and that jerk, our Soisuka will still choose that Jerk. So I'd never get to fock Soisuka because in Soisuka's judgement, I am the jerk when I'm the one who love her. LOL~
While it's true it's not easy everyday... to know the woman I love is in the arms of another, but I never really am bitter, because it was partly my fault. I wanted something else much more than her back then, or that was what I thought. Moreover, I couldn't be myself whenever I was around her, nor can she be herself whenever she talked to me.
I never wish her marriage fails... In fact, I am worried if we were ever meet again... because... I am not cheap, I am not a spare tyre.
In this life, I have many women, I got one rejection before I met her. That was all.
If you don't believe that marital breakdown is because you chose the wrong man, that's not my problem... You can choose the wrong man, you can choose a jerk and apply that stupid theory that marriage can be worked to work and try lah...
Looking forward, I will still love her truly... no matter if she thinks I am a jerk a pest a whatever. I don't need to choose to love her because it was never my choice to love her. If I were to choose, she's probably not the type of girl I'd go for.
Denise80, there is no need be amazed I remember details of yours. You were outstanding from the rest, and to someone who did research, candidates like you are very interesting. Of course I'd pay more attention on you.
I am no longer the same shy guy when I first met her... I now have the courage to tell her straight how I feel... It may be too late, but I have grown up obviously.
I am a man... My love for her means if we were together, for eternality, I won't get to fock other women. She chose another man... therefore I end up with other womEn, and my life experience thicken.
If you people continue to think that it is because of this woman I become antagonised with other women... It's not my problem. If you think that's the reason why I blame (eg) May... I have already explained, debated...
I have been hurted thoroughly but I am not bitter. I have done everything for this matter of the heart, I don't have much regrets towards her. I see things in cold hard rational way... If you don't believe, try debate with me.
True love... Hahahahahahahahahahaha... ...
Argh~ My European venture... and my Eurasian children...
anyway sidetrack a bit. I was watching 127 hours, anyone know this true story about this canyoneer trapped by a boulder and he amputated his own arm to save his life.
Amazing, I admire his courage.... He had to slowly cut off his right arm with an army knife...gosh! OMG I feel so bad for whining now. what's my pain compared to his? I shall find back my joie de vivre!!! And god bless May and other broken hearted women and men, may you find it again too!
He tallks no sense, he only talks nonsense. Soisuka, surprised you tried so hard to wake him up. Useless lah, he is in different league. He belongs to IMH. Those in IMH will think they are normal and think those not in IMH are morons. He fits the bill.
he is just playing with you... not that everything he say is nonsense but he will always claim that ONLY things he says are correct. Everyone else are morons. Even when his points are proven to be crap, he just throw another insult or accusation to attempt to deviate.
He claims he knows everything, he has seen the world, he has so many girls chasing after him to give him free f with no strings attached. He declares all others are morons and frogs in the well. When he is unable to refute your argument further, he just calls you moron and expects you to agree you are a moron. If you disagree that you are a moron, he continues scolding more.
He simplistically declares all whose marriage fail due to your failure to find the "One" and those who are still in happy marriage will bounce to fail in marriage due to their failure to find the "One".
Only he is capable of finding the "One". He thinks his the "One" will drop from the sky and once she drops from the sky, he can immediately recognise her as his the "One" and can marry and will live happily ever after.
He claims he is waiting for his the "One" but yet can satisfy himself with any woman that come along, even at the expense of dumping his parents for the woman whom he don't even consider his the "One".
He claims he is a great lover and has so many gf but till now not able to find the "One". He is actually an ostrich hiding his head in the hole. He has been jitted by the woman he likes but cannot get over it, so come out with all imagination that so many women chase after him. With his type of look, level of IQ and EQ, I wonder if any woman fancy him.
Tomorrow he might tell you we are all frogs in the well cos only he has been to the moon and we are still stuck in our little red dot. He better just go to wherever he wants, don't pollute our little red dot.
Sigh... Why bothering to reply Scope. I skip many of his threads...
Thank you everyone. I have decided to move on and serve both of them the divorce papers. The point is he does not love me anymore and does not want to stay in this marriage as he needs his freedom (actually it is to be with TOW which he would never have the guts to acknowledge.) Rather than staying in a loveless marriage and face a heartless man, I will leave.
Although he is staying at his parents' place now, he quarrels with them almost everyday according to his parent. He blames the entire world for his problems, for not trusting him and said that he does not want to bother on fixing his ties with them. He used to love his dog very much and now does not care about it. He is bent on moving out and making plans for themselves. I feel so scary and sad about this person and for him to want to be with TOW (though he claimed he only wanted freedom), he lose himself and fell out with his family. There is nothing else I can do besides to leave him. I am sure he would regret one day and find it not worthwhile to pursue such a relationship and theirs is not love at all. But all would be lost. Our marriage and I are gone.
It is ok Soisuka. Let him laugh at me. I don't mind at all... really... Please continue to laugh and make fun of my situation if it so pleases and entertain you. We know you are sick... Please continue. I don't mind at all.
There are two types of women in need, one is they absorb help and the other is like May... she cannot.
If you observe carefully, she never cares... outside of what she wanted, she seldom cares. The world is all in her head, not in reality. I have been patiently bringing you to see this...
The way she manages herself and her husband... nobody has a say but her. She thinks she is right, she sees herself a victim. But she is her own choice of problem. The real problem is still with her.
Even at the height of her drama, she still chooses to believe in what she is doing is right. She doesn't care about why the man doesn't really love her, why the marriage is a loveless empty shell, why the man goes to TOW, and all she cares was she thot she loved the man and her love for the marriage.
And now, she hopes the man will regret...
So what he regrets?
May is a gambler... like every gambler, hoping Lady Luck will be with him or her.
When she first appears, I already known this type of women... Take it or leave it.
There is no need to sayang her... the more you sayang her, the more she will not have a chance to see the other way, and she'd gamble again.
You think you are doing her a favor... You are just pushing her radical side.
Now she is saying the man is heartless... Why has she chose to marry a heartless man who can't love her?
Because she THOUGHT he loved her.
There was never love... this marriage has been empty... But does she care? No... She was only bothered about trying to be a wife, trying to secure a marriage... then when it cannot be savaged...
Oh the man is heartless...
But the man has always been the same man.
She never blames herself... everything else is wrong... but her. Just like a gambler... when losing, Lady Luck is wrong, everything is wrong, but her gambling is right.
You sayang her... She won't take responsibility in the failure she creates. That's bad news.
Why would anyone care about scope's advice on marriage? He's single for goodness sake. Couldn't hold on to a relationship for any length of time (100+ gfs). Unrealistic expectation when it comes to his The One. Immature reaction after getting shafted by his The One (that gal is no moron). So not only is he never married, he is unable to sustain a relationship and he has failed to win over the only chick he thought worthy! Most people in his position would be listening and learning instead of talking and teaching. But a big ego is a big ego.
Interesting. A very long time ago, opal and I had different views on how to sustain a relationship or marriage. I also poInted out her inadequacy to give advice cos she's single and never even had a bf before. Wow many forum old birds came on to tell me my view is narrow minded as she could have read all that fr books, thru talking to ppl etc. so perhaps it's still possible just that how persuasive one is depends on the person receiving it.
Experience is not everything for sure. More importantly one needs to apply judgement in accepting or filtering any advice given. What I do know is most people prefer advice coming from an experienced source. If you add to inexperience a lack of success, then you've reasons to doubt both the basis and the credibility of said advice.
Long story short, some people are just born shameless with no conscience so don't waste your time expecting them to have any sense of guilt. Expectating something from a jerk not only waste your time, it would also cause you disappointment as always. Its never too late to start fresh. When you found a new love, pamper yourself, give yourself some 'me time'. Do not always sit around and wait for your man to come home. Show him that you have your own things to do or places to go when he's not around. Giving each other a chance to miss each other by doing what you want to do is the key. Be strong May.