I thought its was only a one-night stand but...

M

msangel

New Member
As my job need to travel alot i have alot of temptations around me and i was able to control myself. However early this yr i met a married guy, to cut the story short things happened, i knew i shouldn't but i slept with him. When i got back home i was pretty lost as i have a very loving fiance and we are planning to get married end of the yr.

I feel bad and can't help thinking why i did it. I knew it was pure lust,the excitment and most of all i knew becoz i was able to get away with it.

We never keep in touch until i was on another worktrip 4 months later and we met up again. Then another trip, it was like a booty call.

While planning for my wedding lately, i realised how much i really love my fiance and how loving we are but can't help being confused and hate myself for having an affair. The worst part is i actually miss the other guy.

It got me thinking how true really is my love and wedding. I recently change job and will not get to travel anymore. I may never see him again but there will always be a question mark in me.

i always hate ppl who cheat on their partners, now i am one of them.
 


angry.gif
i also hate ppl who cheat on their partners and call themselves "ANGEL".
 
its supposed to be a ONS...done liao n bye bye...so y u keep thinking about it?..unless u lose ur 1st time in tat ONS or ur lovely guy performed badly in bed compared to the married guy
 
hehe ... i just find 'LOVE' post's funny, but yea ... kindda true ...

anyway, dear thread starter, since you've already changed job and getting nearer to wedding day, just move on and don't think too much. This experience's just part of your life journey.
 
ai ya... Angel is just a nickname mah... maybe she likes angel? not neccessary means that she herself is an angel...

siao's nick also doesnt means that he is siao wad.. hor? oops! =X

anyway, i think 知错能改，上莫大焉 (correct not huh?)
 
angel, everyone makes mistakes. you hv acknowledged you hv done wrong. pick up the pieces and move on. it's already done. dont be too hard on yourself ok...
 
Quote: "While planning for my wedding lately, i realised how much i really love my fiance and how loving we are but can't help being confused and hate myself for having an affair. The worst part is i actually miss the other guy."

seems like Angel is confused with what she wants. personally think that Angel should stop her wedding preparation until she sorted out her thoughts.
 
ONS..which you have already done it and u shld forget it and life still has to go on. No point thinking abt him as he's married liao... and u too coming soon...& no need to feel missing him and do not place your heart fully on to him just sort ur heart out and place ur "fiance" fully 100 percent on to U.

Hope u have a blissful marriage!
 
to me, infidelity is something that i cannot forgive! how can you say you still miss that guy when you said how much you realised you love your fiance? that's even more unforgivable! so you think you deserve him? if so, please get your mind to think carefully who is the more impt person to you now?

just hope your fiance will never get to know your fling..good luck!
 
Angel, you know what, this married man whom you have slept with probably sleeps around. You're probably one of the numerous women he has taken to bed to. If you are not one who sleeps around, just forget him.
 
a one-night stand is exactly what it is but what you're having now is an affair.

despite saying that you love your fiance, there must be some underlying issues that had made the other guy seem appealing to you ..

if you two have a really solid relationship, i don't think you would even consider having a ONS despite knowing that you would most probably be able to get away with it.
 
Thanks for the feedback everyone.

I can understand why some of you feel so strongly about my action as i mentioned before i too couldn't accept infidelity yet i did it. I know i'm such a hypocrite.

Well, my finance is not ignorant as well, he knew something must have happened the moment he take one look at me when i got back. I wasn't myself. something was bothering me.

We have a long talk and i denied everything knowing that if he knew it will crushed him and he will never forgive me as his ex cheated on him as well. I always give him the confidence i won;t and i have always hated ppl who did. (i know hypocrite)

Well, my finance didn't buy it of coz and he wanted to have a break. He was really hurt and it broke my heart to see him that way and to know that i cause him all this pain. at one stage i thought of leaving just to end all this and if he can't decide i'll decide for him. I kept thinking if i can cheat on him it must be that i dun love him anymore. (we were constantly arguing that period before my overseas trip) I knew even if we broke up i will never tell him the truth becoz it will only cause him more harm (to have 2 gfs cheated on him in a row or maybe i'm just selfish)

after more conversations we finally decided we still want to be together and he told me if he ever hear anything anywhere about wat happen during my trip, then its over. Till today i think he knew what i did but just doesn't wanna say it and i have always denied it.

Every once in a while he will say that he is not stupid alot of the times he chose to keep quiet doesn't mean he doesn't know things.

The only good thing that came out of all this is we became more loving. It wasn't easy just to get back together...it took alot of effort and time to be slowly back on track.

I have move on but sometimes once in a while i'll still think about what happened as its part of me, a chapter in my life (a closed one and hope to remain tt way)

Maybe being on the other side of the fence for once, now i know how it feel to be the other woman who cheated.
 
Sounds like you now have a fiance who is like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode? If I were you, I will not jump into marriage for the sake of getting hitched. When the problems (I don't mean this ONS thing but there must be some other issues) in your relationship are not properly addressed today, they will find their ways into your marriage and resurface one day in the near future. You said you two have become more loving now, but love is not everything in a good marriage. If there are other issues in the way of a great relationship, resolve it NOW.
 
angel,

If you treasure this relationship then just forget about the incident. Don't ever think of telling him . It is over, past, so forget about it.

Build on your relationship now. Marriage can wait. Don't let this incident affect you or your mood. It is difficult I know but you have to - no choice.
 
actually before u fark ard with that guy did u think of yr fiance.. how deep u will hurt him?? Pls change yr nick to slut bah.. sorry i am just blunt.
 
Angel, you r guilty and your finance is suspicious. u 2 really decide to sweep everything under the carpet and get on with the wedding? A marriage signifies a lifetime tog, you have a long way ahead of you. Are u sure u 2 hv closed this chapter or like doll said leave the bomb ticking? There are bound to be arguements and disagreements at some point in time, what you've swept under the carpet will one day resurface and choke you... Thrash it out if you can.
 
Green... i know everyone makes mistakes.. but hers is too serious a mistake to make but just to let Angel know that what ever she has done she has to answer for it. Even if her fiance forgives her.. the scar remains..
 
Angel, you are just being selfish. you love your HTB, yet you wanted more. Your HTB is just nice and simple(Maybe boring) that why u wanted to try out something more exciting and got hook to it.(Lust) You never want to let go of HTB because you know of both guys, your HTB will be the only one to take care of you and life will go on. He is the guy for you when you have nothing. And yes, you love him too.

Today you know that you are wrong and yet complaining abt yourself. But after your ROM chances of same mistake or affair will still arise if same situation happen again.(Because your character and mindset still same)

Now you love the excitment of craving marks onto your beautiful vase which you and your HTB created. You hope your HTB nv find out. Once the vase break you will try to fix the vase back, the cracks will still be there and you hope your HTB wont mind. He might keep quiet and pretend he doesnt sees it.(if he love you too much) But in his mind he will never feel comfortable cause he created this vase with you and yet you invite someone to break it with you.

You might be thinking you are able to control the situation now. Yes, because the guy didnt come and tempt you anymore. But if there is chances things will still go back the same.

Now there is no point telling your HTB what you have done,(No point showing him the vase is broken), it will hurt him deeply and you know the feeling of heartbroken? If you really mean to salvage your wonderful relation and yes, will be wonderful if you manage to enjoy it and love him whole heartly.

HOW?
Challenge the mind of how lust is created.
 
angel, think the rest is rite, move on.

if you still cant, you must also ACT like you had moved on.

when you keep thinking that you are hurting him over what you had done. he can sense it. and with pressure and stress from both, the marriage is on the way to the d papers.

honestly, here is this guy willing to forget about what happened (or close one eye) and move on liao. you still harping on the past. sounds like asking for trouble.

if you really want to make amendments, next time got quarrels or when he is unreasonable, give in more lor... make him happy lor.

just my 2 cents.

enjoy the wedding prep!
 
Angel, better not get married unless u wake up your ideas.

Dun make others pay for your mistake. (future kids or HTB)

I travel a lot too. but i do not sleep ard cos i am very particular abt hygience. Pls go for a STD check up.
happy.gif
 
Hi Angel

i hope you've moved on - going by this, i meant that you really,really will forget abt your past affair(the lust,excitement n such) and really,really will carry on to establish the love b/w yourself and your bf.

Everyone learns by going thru' some stuffs that are unexpected. Hence, I find the part abt thinking what had happened could ONLY be useful -in reminding yourself how impt your bf is to you, and ironically, it may be the turning point of your love life.

Otherwise, don't get indulged in such thoughts for memories' sake.
 
Angel,

Actually what u did is really very unfair to your HTB. You mentioned that u still miss the guy..i think you better not to proceed with your wedding and not hurt your HTB by having a wife who think of other ppl's husband.
 
Angel,

So poor thing, try to share, try to change, yet some of you just think she should die and rot in hell, come on.

Don't even see her talking already, someone you don't even know, don't even understand her full situation, just want to make her malu then happy. What's with those harsh words about her? Even if want to 'scold', don't sound like some... paikai.

Humans are very complicated, always say and do differently. We are all the same. Let her decide what to do.
 
angel..

it sounds to me that you might have a committment issue.. if you guys have already decided to be together, why not just postpone the wedding for a while, and just be together? i'm not sure if i should say this, but how about just cohabiting first?

i think u are probably at a point where you don't want to leave ur fiance cos u love him, but u feel guilty and your heart can't settle down. in my personal opinion, i might just try to live with this guy for a year or two, and then try to work things out. if things really can work out, then get married in 1-2 years time..

hope you are feeling better.
 
Angel, honestly, i don't feel that you are ready for a marriage. Do not enter a marriage just for the sake of it. I understand that people do make mistakes (esp in relationship) but what actually leads to that mistakes? Is there some problem between you and your HTB? Since he knows that something has happen during the business trip but both of you remain to keep quiet about it and "forget about the whole incident". Have both of you really "forget" about it? I am afraid it the issue may resurface one day and hunt you again.
 
Sigh....ladies swaying from relationship and marriage much more often than the rightfully men's role of swaying nowdays.....i wonder why.

Marriage is just a piece of paper afterall with no embedded meaning.....except the woman's charter bind.
 
Yap is it a trend? I tend to see more women straying these days. I see lots of office affairs and these are women with really good husbands or fiance.
 
not say a trend lar..just tat in our parents generations, dad outside working n mom housewife..so dad got more chances to stray but not mom...

now women are working n hence always faced w temptations, just like men..so u see more women are straying now lor
 
yello mozzie & ah siao! yeewww huu...

why huh why huh why... is it the nature of kids nowaday...? too boring to stay with juz 1 partner true-heartedly?? I dun even feel comfortable chatting with a male fren on msn without telling my hubby about it in the first place...
 
hahaha.. he knows i'm still pretty active in here mah.. its my best snake tonic leh... but he barred me frm voicing too daringly.. kekeke hahahaha
 
but hor, he thinks here all gals mah....maybe he doesnt know u chat w a siao male here leh....must report to him tonight hor..lol
 
no la.. he knows wan.. cos sometime when i read interesting thread.. den i'll tell him...also told him about this ah siao thats always talking craps with me... & this powder who always talk so much sense into pple...
 
again!!..tis is defamation!!....give me ur address, wait for my lawyer letter!!!!...

ya ya..going for a short break from work..keke
 
pls hor... dun try to get a married woman's address huh... I'm not desperate housewife hor.. dun need extra marital affair.. ahahahaha. ekekekeke...

so nice to get a break! I haven't even get to go honeymoon yet! where are u heading for fun?
 
chey, if me got the time, i woul rather go for single gals!!...for u, i just wan u pay for defamtion nia leh!!..wat u think off!!!...lol

last wk took break..tis wk also..cos must clear some leaves mah..not going anywhere..just laze ard nia.......

how come both so bzi until no time go honeymoon?..
 


haiyo... our boss la.. got exhibition in Frankfurt in oct...so we gotta rush all the design works out b4 he go lo...so we can only go abroad frm oct onwards..
 
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