"Guo Da Li (过大礼)" ??
- Thread starter trihok
- Start date
Hi, I think it's 2 sets. The set used at the gal's house can be a "hand me down" from the gal's parents. A new set must be bought for use at the guy's house. The new set will be given together with the rest of the gifts of dowry. My understanding is about 2 weeks before AD, the guy's side will send the pin jing and stuff to the gal's side. About a week to 10 days before AD, the gal's side will return some of the pin jing and some of the stuff, together with the tea set, clothes for the gal, jewlery for the gal, etc, all send over to the guy's house in time for the AD.
dear all,
if there's an extra set of teapot @ home, no need to buy two, for eg, ur sibling's one if hv. As for me, I used my bro's on my AD.
Hi Wendy,
dun tink too much, juz concentrade to be a beautiful on ur AD. Juz wanna share my experience, my hubby paid for everything for our wedding, wen our parents mit up to discuss more abt the details during food tasting. I was reali ver pissed with my inlaws ( ESPECIALLY MY FIL), they waited till me and Hb wen to toilet den they tok to my parents. As they are teochew, my FIL told my mum, "if u wan banquet, den no pinjin". My mum told him, "no matter wat, we are hokkien, so we wan. I am marrying my daughter off, no matter wat, its a custom.." Anyway, oso need to return some of it mah..... After the dinner, my mum den told me wat happened, I told my mum to ignore him, my HB paid for everything, he has no rite to interfere. Told my HB abt it, he oso agreed that his father is ver weird, dunno tok so much for wat, till now, we r married for a year..... I feel that can forgive but cnt forget.... I tink come to all this, one side bound to be more difficult, and the other side more easy gg, wonder y cnt they be like my parents, be more opened minded, like everything muz be to their advantage.
if there's an extra set of teapot @ home, no need to buy two, for eg, ur sibling's one if hv. As for me, I used my bro's on my AD.
Hi Wendy,
dun tink too much, juz concentrade to be a beautiful on ur AD. Juz wanna share my experience, my hubby paid for everything for our wedding, wen our parents mit up to discuss more abt the details during food tasting. I was reali ver pissed with my inlaws ( ESPECIALLY MY FIL), they waited till me and Hb wen to toilet den they tok to my parents. As they are teochew, my FIL told my mum, "if u wan banquet, den no pinjin". My mum told him, "no matter wat, we are hokkien, so we wan. I am marrying my daughter off, no matter wat, its a custom.." Anyway, oso need to return some of it mah..... After the dinner, my mum den told me wat happened, I told my mum to ignore him, my HB paid for everything, he has no rite to interfere. Told my HB abt it, he oso agreed that his father is ver weird, dunno tok so much for wat, till now, we r married for a year..... I feel that can forgive but cnt forget.... I tink come to all this, one side bound to be more difficult, and the other side more easy gg, wonder y cnt they be like my parents, be more opened minded, like everything muz be to their advantage.
Hi Mabel,
GDL = Guo Da Li.
It refers to the giving of the engagement gifts that the guy's family traditionally gives the gal's parents (ie. Pin Li and Pin Jing).
Perhaps you can find out from your parents/in-laws about it? Sometimes, parents/ in-laws may wish to do away with it.
there is no such thing as "a must". As long as parents/in-laws are happy doing away with it, it's okay.
GDL = Guo Da Li.
It refers to the giving of the engagement gifts that the guy's family traditionally gives the gal's parents (ie. Pin Li and Pin Jing).
Perhaps you can find out from your parents/in-laws about it? Sometimes, parents/ in-laws may wish to do away with it.
there is no such thing as "a must". As long as parents/in-laws are happy doing away with it, it's okay.
Help!!!! I am in distress too!!!!!!!
My Mum and MIL has met to discuss things for the GDL liaoz..
now the stupid old woman which is my MIL!!! giving probs and chu pattern lor..
can ppl pls advise me.. which one is by right?
1st she last min back out on the pin jin.. now my hubby got to think of ways by himself.. i also cannot help him.. cos i also no money.. nvm..
the 4 dot gold.. by right should be MIL give.. den end up.. ask my hubby to pay!! he pay liao.. den MIL told him.. u pay the for 4 dot gold.. i will pay the pin jin.. something like exchange like that lah.. den after hubby paid for the 4 dot gold.. she said to hubby.. pin jin u also pay yourself hor!!! got such thing..
Den she went to find out.. for hokkien.. if MIL give my grandma, grandpa and sister ang bao of $20.. is it true that my mum have to return a bit more den $20 to my BILs and elders??
MY GDL IS TOMOLO!!!!!
My Mum and MIL has met to discuss things for the GDL liaoz..
now the stupid old woman which is my MIL!!! giving probs and chu pattern lor..
can ppl pls advise me.. which one is by right?
1st she last min back out on the pin jin.. now my hubby got to think of ways by himself.. i also cannot help him.. cos i also no money.. nvm..
the 4 dot gold.. by right should be MIL give.. den end up.. ask my hubby to pay!! he pay liao.. den MIL told him.. u pay the for 4 dot gold.. i will pay the pin jin.. something like exchange like that lah.. den after hubby paid for the 4 dot gold.. she said to hubby.. pin jin u also pay yourself hor!!! got such thing..
Den she went to find out.. for hokkien.. if MIL give my grandma, grandpa and sister ang bao of $20.. is it true that my mum have to return a bit more den $20 to my BILs and elders??
MY GDL IS TOMOLO!!!!!
Hi Shanna,
I think pin jing must be given by in-laws. But these days, not so clear who actually pays it. Sometimes, husband pays for it. but when they present it to your parents, they will say they gave it.
Unless you are a teochew, it is not necessary for your MIL to give you the 4 dot gold. But most likely, she will give you a piece of jewelry which may even be a hand me down.
I'm not sure about returning $, but my understanding is the gal must give "gifts" to the husband's siblings and everyone who stays under the same roof.
If you feel your MIL is being unreasonable, get your husband to agree with you, then get your husband to speak with her. Ultimately, it is your wedding. Both you yand your husband must stand united.
I think pin jing must be given by in-laws. But these days, not so clear who actually pays it. Sometimes, husband pays for it. but when they present it to your parents, they will say they gave it.
Unless you are a teochew, it is not necessary for your MIL to give you the 4 dot gold. But most likely, she will give you a piece of jewelry which may even be a hand me down.
I'm not sure about returning $, but my understanding is the gal must give "gifts" to the husband's siblings and everyone who stays under the same roof.
If you feel your MIL is being unreasonable, get your husband to agree with you, then get your husband to speak with her. Ultimately, it is your wedding. Both you yand your husband must stand united.
aIYO!!! both of us has been keep quarrelling and arguing over his mum's opinion and my mum's!!! Sometimes i wonder i marry who?? him or his mum!!! until he and his mum quarrel.. i also feel bad!!!
but that stupid old woman.. only got 3 sons.. keep wanting to "wiN" ppl who has 10 children and dunno how many grandchild..
HELP!!!! I going crazy liaoz!!
but that stupid old woman.. only got 3 sons.. keep wanting to "wiN" ppl who has 10 children and dunno how many grandchild..
HELP!!!! I going crazy liaoz!!
tom_yam_goong
New Member
Maybe thinking to give $2k = 48000baht or $3k = 70000 bath plus ari ticket plus many many thigns.
You all thinks can or too little pinjin?
Need to spend alot for wedding, lucky still got to year to keep some more money.
Very streessed.
You all thinks can or too little pinjin?
Need to spend alot for wedding, lucky still got to year to keep some more money.
Very streessed.
Hi Goong
I think $2k should be presentable amount as pinjin. According to my elder relatives, they said that it is not so nice for the bride's parent to accept all pinjin from groom side... usually, they accept some and should return the rest back to the groom.
Hope this is a good news for you to know
don feel so stress...take it easy.
Hehehe...I'm having my Guo Da Li in Jan, so I think my FH need to work out his sum with me soon;P
I think $2k should be presentable amount as pinjin. According to my elder relatives, they said that it is not so nice for the bride's parent to accept all pinjin from groom side... usually, they accept some and should return the rest back to the groom.
Hope this is a good news for you to know
Hehehe...I'm having my Guo Da Li in Jan, so I think my FH need to work out his sum with me soon;P
tom_yam_goong
New Member
Thank you Leena,
in Singapore is still ok, then in that side, they may think too littler. I hope they understamd our money also no easy to earn. They are quiet nice, so I can talke to them. They not asking anything much, just I take ggood care of my wife.
See how first, maybe build a biger house than I can have peace of mind. Becuase I will bring my wife to bangkok after I settle CHangmai side the parent stay there with a big family.
Than after settle eveything will come back to Singapore.
in Singapore is still ok, then in that side, they may think too littler. I hope they understamd our money also no easy to earn. They are quiet nice, so I can talke to them. They not asking anything much, just I take ggood care of my wife.
See how first, maybe build a biger house than I can have peace of mind. Becuase I will bring my wife to bangkok after I settle CHangmai side the parent stay there with a big family.
Than after settle eveything will come back to Singapore.
Hi gals
Do d groom's side need to give cakes (li pin together with d wedding invitation cards to d groom's side relatives?? Cause MIL said need to do dat. Confused & getting irritated liao...
I personally haven heard abt dat. I thot dat only d bride's side do dat, as d bride's mother is marrying off her daugther or something like dat.
HB & me trying to keep thing as simple as possible. My mum didnt even asked for d dragon & phoenix candles & some other stuff for d GDL, (which we had agreed during d parents meeting discussion abt d GDL & Pin Jin). Now MIL asking for d cakes for d groom's side... wah kow...
Upset dat we agreed during d meeting what was needed & what to do without. And dat is sort of d conclusion, if they keep on adding on... as d date draw nearer, think it will b endless & cant get things done...
Most of all, need to know, is there such practise?
Do d groom's side need to give cakes (li pin together with d wedding invitation cards to d groom's side relatives?? Cause MIL said need to do dat. Confused & getting irritated liao...
I personally haven heard abt dat. I thot dat only d bride's side do dat, as d bride's mother is marrying off her daugther or something like dat.
HB & me trying to keep thing as simple as possible. My mum didnt even asked for d dragon & phoenix candles & some other stuff for d GDL, (which we had agreed during d parents meeting discussion abt d GDL & Pin Jin). Now MIL asking for d cakes for d groom's side... wah kow...
Upset dat we agreed during d meeting what was needed & what to do without. And dat is sort of d conclusion, if they keep on adding on... as d date draw nearer, think it will b endless & cant get things done...
Most of all, need to know, is there such practise?
darren__eve
New Member
Woooooooo $39.90 per box is very ex.
I ordered mine fom Kyo. Abt $8 per box only.
Can't imagine paying the $$$$$$ for 50 over boxes of cake.......My pocket will have 1 big hole.
I have pics of my cakes, let me know if anyone is interested to view. (multiply album)
I ordered mine fom Kyo. Abt $8 per box only.
Can't imagine paying the $$$$$$ for 50 over boxes of cake.......My pocket will have 1 big hole.
I have pics of my cakes, let me know if anyone is interested to view. (multiply album)
shootingstarz
New Member
Hi,
May I ask how many weeks is GDL b4 the AD? And on the actual day, does my hubby need to bring anything to my hse? cos me intending to have tea ceremony at hotel venue.. so wandering do we still have to set aside the morning time to do anything else?
May I ask how many weeks is GDL b4 the AD? And on the actual day, does my hubby need to bring anything to my hse? cos me intending to have tea ceremony at hotel venue.. so wandering do we still have to set aside the morning time to do anything else?
hi.. i dun have home here as i m foreigner, so nw i m staying in my FHB's home wif FPIL. when i buy all the GDL stuff, can i put his plc b4 GDL days? or i can use my relative's place to keep then do the GDL there? i dunno whether my aunt pantang or no ler.. how long in advance u gals pre to buy these thgs?
hi shootingstarz, usually GDL is at least min 1 week sm will actuali choose date to do it max is abt 1 mth... as for the AD, procedures all depends on ur mum cos he's bringing u hm after marrying out....
hi jane, i onli started to get my GDL stuffs this week n my GDL is next sat... so long as u hv a plc to keep no prob to buy early... for bride's side prob u might to chk wif ur aunty if cn use her hse.. cos you will need a plc on ur AD for ur FHB to pick u up...
hi jane, i onli started to get my GDL stuffs this week n my GDL is next sat... so long as u hv a plc to keep no prob to buy early... for bride's side prob u might to chk wif ur aunty if cn use her hse.. cos you will need a plc on ur AD for ur FHB to pick u up...
hi jacol,
for AD my FHB ll pick me up at hotel which my parents & sibling stay tat day. coz my aunts pantang for pick up bride... but for GDL i nvr ask. so i cannot buy those thg direct put in my current place which is my FHB 's house?
so GDL tat day maybe they ll meet my parent at restaurant for just pass the 'pin jin'..
sigh ... i dunno ler, so troublesome. but my GDL is not so soon lar, i just kiasu... keke GDL 11th Sept & 10 days b4 AD..
for AD my FHB ll pick me up at hotel which my parents & sibling stay tat day. coz my aunts pantang for pick up bride... but for GDL i nvr ask. so i cannot buy those thg direct put in my current place which is my FHB 's house?
so GDL tat day maybe they ll meet my parent at restaurant for just pass the 'pin jin'..
sigh ... i dunno ler, so troublesome. but my GDL is not so soon lar, i just kiasu... keke GDL 11th Sept & 10 days b4 AD..
shootingstarz
New Member
Hi jazol,
thx for the infos.
thx for the infos.
Any of u gers nt going to have things like potty, bath tub n etc for GDL?
My mum says she doesn't requires my fh to buy any of these for GDL...she's only expecting Si Dian Jin, oranges, long feng candles, some boxes of cakes n pin jin which she says she'll return up to 90% of it...she says dun even have to have cans of pig trotters, hard liquor n etc...
My qn is...issit ok for GDL to miss those items or is it up for us to decide?
My mum says she doesn't requires my fh to buy any of these for GDL...she's only expecting Si Dian Jin, oranges, long feng candles, some boxes of cakes n pin jin which she says she'll return up to 90% of it...she says dun even have to have cans of pig trotters, hard liquor n etc...
My qn is...issit ok for GDL to miss those items or is it up for us to decide?
Hi elchwong
My Mum didnt asked for the LongFeng Candles.
She asked for roasted pig (for d AD); oranges. cakes(and cakes vouchers) & pin jin for d GDL.
Think it is up to individual, & what were agreed upon during both side parents meeting discussion abt GDL, pin-jing, AD requirement etc etc...
But hor.... there will be changes along d way... i m experiencing it now.... can faint....
Just like my prevous posting, MIL started to ask for cakes (to be given to MIL's relatives)after d parents meeting... faint faint faint.
i have yet to heard dat d guy's side need to give out cakes to relatives together with d invitation cards.
My Mum didnt asked for the LongFeng Candles.
She asked for roasted pig (for d AD); oranges. cakes(and cakes vouchers) & pin jin for d GDL.
Think it is up to individual, & what were agreed upon during both side parents meeting discussion abt GDL, pin-jing, AD requirement etc etc...
But hor.... there will be changes along d way... i m experiencing it now.... can faint....
Just like my prevous posting, MIL started to ask for cakes (to be given to MIL's relatives)after d parents meeting... faint faint faint.
i have yet to heard dat d guy's side need to give out cakes to relatives together with d invitation cards.
hi elchwong, actually those potty and bath tub stuff to be bought by ur mother nt ur FH... as for mine, my mum only buy the table lamps, tea pot, sewing kit and the phoenix candle...
ice, actually my mum oso ask my FH to order more cakes so that whn she returns him he cn give to his relatives... cos nw didnt really follow the rules...
ice, actually my mum oso ask my FH to order more cakes so that whn she returns him he cn give to his relatives... cos nw didnt really follow the rules...
blurblur25
New Member
must we find a 'mei ren' for FH side to come along with the GDL?
My FIL side like bo chap kind. Also their side is no inviting any of their relative due to TROUBLESOME! FMIL is also vegetarian....
I know my parents want roasted pig, those xi bing(cakes).
Can any 1 tell me where to get a 'mei ren'? Does MIL need to come along when GDL?
Pls help...
My FIL side like bo chap kind. Also their side is no inviting any of their relative due to TROUBLESOME! FMIL is also vegetarian....
I know my parents want roasted pig, those xi bing(cakes).
Can any 1 tell me where to get a 'mei ren'? Does MIL need to come along when GDL?
Pls help...
darren__eve
New Member
My hubby came during GDL....
together with a friend and a friend's mum.
My hubby cannot enter the house first, after everything has been place in order then he can step into the house.
I have pics of my GDL.....
Anyone interested i can give u the link to view my album : )
together with a friend and a friend's mum.
My hubby cannot enter the house first, after everything has been place in order then he can step into the house.
I have pics of my GDL.....
Anyone interested i can give u the link to view my album : )
Hi jazol,
hmm... at least ur mum voiced out. What is bothering HB & me is why didnt they voiced out during d parents' meeting. It shuld b discussed & finalised during d meeting & now, asking for something else.... den what is d purpose on arranging d parents meeting... going xiao liao...
Hi Cactus
Heard from my cousin dat HB can comes along for d GDL. N it is up to individual whether d bride-to-be want 2 be present anot.
hmm... at least ur mum voiced out. What is bothering HB & me is why didnt they voiced out during d parents' meeting. It shuld b discussed & finalised during d meeting & now, asking for something else.... den what is d purpose on arranging d parents meeting... going xiao liao...
Hi Cactus
Heard from my cousin dat HB can comes along for d GDL. N it is up to individual whether d bride-to-be want 2 be present anot.
darren__eve
New Member
darren__eve
New Member
Im hainanese and hubby is cantonese.
I don't really know...
Mum and hubby settle everything themselves.
If i remember correctly there is 1 AP call "fu mu en qin"
For that hubby have to give a big one.
I don't really know...
Mum and hubby settle everything themselves.
If i remember correctly there is 1 AP call "fu mu en qin"
For that hubby have to give a big one.
darren__eve
New Member
Oh i know what u mean.......
Hainanese call it "JIN Da"
No i don't have it....
My mum simplify the GDL : )
Hainanese call it "JIN Da"
No i don't have it....
My mum simplify the GDL : )
darren__eve
New Member
Hehehe thanks!!
blurblur25
New Member
Hi Juv, the problem is FMIL dont really want to get involve. FH side oso not much relative and didnt keep in touch.
He only have 1 younger bro. Must find someone with experience right?
He only have 1 younger bro. Must find someone with experience right?
blurblur25
New Member
Juv: problem is MIL dont want to invite any relatives, so she not telling any of her realtive that her son is getting married.
sophisticated_bride
New Member
hihi...
wanna ask... im getting married before my bro. tat means i need to buy one pant for my bro and hang it on my door ya? izzit like tat?
wanna ask... im getting married before my bro. tat means i need to buy one pant for my bro and hang it on my door ya? izzit like tat?
