danielle367
New Member
Hi Tomas,Â
Thank you.Â
"for a marriage to work, you don't have to share the same hatred for socialism, enjoy the same humor or even speak the same language. life is short, keeping things simple and superficial can be less of a headache. leave the intellectual debates to your drink buddies. go home to someone who will serve you a bowl of tom ga gai for your hangover. someone who doesn't feel the need to tire you with her own existential crisis and women lib's expectations."
I am afraid this perspective won't work for me. This is partly because of the gender difference. This brand of marriage will work for guys, but it will hardly work for girls.Â
Gender difference: Much like a man may have a one night stand and forget the name of the woman he slept with, the woman who have a one night stand will not forget the name of the man. Men can operate rather logically and not be emotionlly involved, but women almost always engage emotionally. In the same vein, a man might first make love to a his wife out of need, then feels very connected to her after the love-making, but a woman need to feel connected first, thereafter she can enter into love-making, otherwise she tends to feel used. These are typcially gender differences. Also like young girls in schools tend to visit the washrooms in droves, because going to the washroom is a girls' thing and there are so much to gossip about which guy is cute and etc. even after all the hair tying and powderign is done, and they will take forever to come out of the washroom. But young boys in schools do not ask each other "hey, wanna go toilet?" Guys just go, get your job done, say a couple of "hi"s to people who know in there, and is out of there in a jiffy. So ceteris paribus, a woman usually needs some level of emotional connection in a marriage to feel fulfilled.
The perspective is also not possible for me partly due to the educational level and career mindedness that both my husband and I have. If I am indeed a village/low level office girl who is financially not doing great, then a Caucasian expatriate willing to have me is a ticket for security. I might find it a good deal, and wouldnt mind to be at his service, whether it is cooking for him or washing his laundry. Much like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, a village girl is concerned with security, food and shelter: Physiological and Safety Needs. I am passed that stage. Belonging &Love, and Esteem&Self Actualisation are things that matter to me now. (to be cont'd)
Thank you.Â
"for a marriage to work, you don't have to share the same hatred for socialism, enjoy the same humor or even speak the same language. life is short, keeping things simple and superficial can be less of a headache. leave the intellectual debates to your drink buddies. go home to someone who will serve you a bowl of tom ga gai for your hangover. someone who doesn't feel the need to tire you with her own existential crisis and women lib's expectations."
I am afraid this perspective won't work for me. This is partly because of the gender difference. This brand of marriage will work for guys, but it will hardly work for girls.Â
Gender difference: Much like a man may have a one night stand and forget the name of the woman he slept with, the woman who have a one night stand will not forget the name of the man. Men can operate rather logically and not be emotionlly involved, but women almost always engage emotionally. In the same vein, a man might first make love to a his wife out of need, then feels very connected to her after the love-making, but a woman need to feel connected first, thereafter she can enter into love-making, otherwise she tends to feel used. These are typcially gender differences. Also like young girls in schools tend to visit the washrooms in droves, because going to the washroom is a girls' thing and there are so much to gossip about which guy is cute and etc. even after all the hair tying and powderign is done, and they will take forever to come out of the washroom. But young boys in schools do not ask each other "hey, wanna go toilet?" Guys just go, get your job done, say a couple of "hi"s to people who know in there, and is out of there in a jiffy. So ceteris paribus, a woman usually needs some level of emotional connection in a marriage to feel fulfilled.
The perspective is also not possible for me partly due to the educational level and career mindedness that both my husband and I have. If I am indeed a village/low level office girl who is financially not doing great, then a Caucasian expatriate willing to have me is a ticket for security. I might find it a good deal, and wouldnt mind to be at his service, whether it is cooking for him or washing his laundry. Much like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, a village girl is concerned with security, food and shelter: Physiological and Safety Needs. I am passed that stage. Belonging &Love, and Esteem&Self Actualisation are things that matter to me now. (to be cont'd)