Christian Brides

hi wedding girl, try to tok to ur parents and ILs if both of you are paying for the banquet and nego to have a smaller if its not within your means cos most of cousins ended up paying alot more for the banquet bcos they dun get the APs back.

pray abt it and leave to God. initially for us we wanted a hotel banquet bt ended up wif a restaurant bcos we dun wan to be bogged down wif the expenses at the end of our wedding.
 


mehmeh thanks....i got the mail, but now got 1 problem. When i click on download, the stupid media player starts then how can i download to disk? hehehe i not pro in all these IT stuff.

Maybe it is because of my office pc...go home n try on my pc, see if its the same.
 
Hi mehmeh and jazol,
fiance and i intend to pay for the dinner, but we really need to work out our finances. will also need to talk to both our parents about it. usually if the couple pays for the dinner, and i'm not keen on receiving jewellery from ILs, what should the ILs give? i know mum expects something from them.
well, will discuss more with fiance and parents and update again. thanks lots!

and wishing everyone here a blessed and joyous Christmas!
 
Hello All Christian Brides,

Wanna say Merry Christmas to you and may the grace of God be with you....Enjoy the long weekends
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MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

wedding gal, just try to tell them how u 2 feel n how u want the wedding to be. Ask God for help.

At first my hb only wanted 1 event either the church or dinner thing. I choose the church, i know its hard to tell my mum that it will only be 1 event. Reason why my hb wanted 1 event is because he dont want to be so busy running around the whole day. He want to be able to enjoy his wedding. Make things simple. I break the news to my mum and i try to make her understand that now its very modern to do it this way.

I pray to God for help and he give me everything in the end. my mum is o.k with the idea of 1 event and my hb dont mind having 2 events. hehehe so now i will be having both.
 
BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

yup wedding gal, pray to God abt your plans and submit everytin to God and HE will do wonders.

for my preparation, I give glory to HIM cos almost everytin had went on smoothly except for the house issue. bt my FH n I trust that God has plans for us so we didnt bother much anymore.
 
hi wedding girl,

actually the giving of jewellery, si dian jin or si dian zhuan, is a teochew custom.. But these days, it's a common practice to do so whichever dialect grp, of coz subjected to the financial ability of the MIL.. If u're not keen for ur ILs to give jewellery, maybe u can ask them to bless in more practical ways & get a really simple piece of jewellery for 'yi si'

hi Summerice,

Great!! it's the right song yah? heehee

dear sisters

<font color="aa00aa">Merry Christmas!!</font>
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Hope everyone is done with their Christmas shopping.. I'm going to brave the crowd now! heheh
 
mehmeh ya its the right one thank you so much....i love it a lot...hehehe keep listening to it.

The problem now is the song is kind of long...and i plan to use it for march in at dinner....dont know how to prolong it. My hb dont want to show video montage....so i am lost as to how i can make sure the whole song is being play plus i am thinking of doing the march in at the part of "As we walk down....."
 
mehmeh, you must be very busy tats why doing a last min shopping, I had done mine aldy and completed them on wed.

happy shopping!!
 
The crowds are terrible... I'm the kind that would prefer to avoid crowds... though i know there are people who love crowds for the atmosphere... when i see so many ppl dun feel like shopping liao.

In any case, have a deep and meaningful Christmas everyone!

<font color="aa00aa">Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. 1 Tim 1:17</font>
 
hi summerice,

hmm.. hb &amp; i sang tt song acapella, so we had some control over the length.
generally before u take ur march-in, there wld be a portion of it played then the doors wld be opened.. and after tt march-in, u prob have to cut the dummy cake, so the song can still continue while the AV technician wld turn down the vol as ur MC mentions u &amp; HB are in the act of cutting the cake (sthg along these lines)

hi jazol,

yahyah, bz before i went out of town.. and after tt bz with rehearsal for Christmas &amp; no idea what pressies to get *headache* managed to gao dim some today, really great buys! Praise God
 
Summerice, if you don't mind doing a bit of tweaking, there's a music software (I think it's called Media Jukebox) that allows you to edit your mp3s to the length that you want, so you can cut out certain parts that drag or so on. You just need to have a keen ear for the beat and where it can be joined together seamlessly.
 
mehmeh &amp; sharon thanks for the suggestions.

wha mehmeh must be very romantic. did u capture that part down on video?

mehmeh, we are thinking of skipping the dummy cutting part since we already cut a real one in the afternoon. hehehe but i never cut a dummy cake b4 plus the dummy cake has many tiers which look nice in pics. Not decided yet whether to skip it.
 
hi summerice,

yupz, captured on video.. heheh, no lah, not romantic.. just give it a slight twist. maybe u &amp; ur FH can sing to each other the last stanza? heheh

or u cld dance briefly during the last stanza
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sharon hope u r better now.

mehmeh that the last time u can expect from my hb...he wont sing n dance in front of so many ppl. hahaha. Thanks for the suggestion.
 
hi all,

hope u had a blessed Christmas
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hi sharon,

Do hope u're on the road to recovery already

hi summerice,

Hahahah, just some wild ideas *winks* U're most welcome!
 
Hello sisters,
hope you all have an enjoyable long weekend.

I have a question. What time will you get the caterer to come in and setup for the church reception? Before the HM starts or in the midst of the HM ceremony? Do you ask the catering IC to station there and look after the reception?
 
hi coco, my caterer will come in 2 timing. 1st they will decor my guest reception area thn half an hr b4 buffet they will set up the buffet area.. i dun tink my helper will be at the reception area to look after at most prob employ 1 of their service staff to be there to help ard n serve...
 
hello everyone
just to seek all of your advice.
are you all serving hard liquor at your dinners? I was only planning on wines and beer.

a few of my FH's friends have asked if they could bring their own hard liquor. I am SO reluctant to let them do so, as I know what could possibly happen. I've seen enough of what they can get up to, and am so worried for what could happen after the dinner.

Have any of you experienced this before? Should I just be firm and say no?

Also, any tips on how I can ensure that they get out of our room later that night? Everyone wants a bit of fun but I sometimes think that they use weddings as an excuse to indulge! (at the expense of the bride and groom sometimes)
 
hi sharon,

Praise God!! Do hope all discomfort wld cease soon..

hi coco,

What time are u having ur church recep? If it's 4-ish, then i suggest have the set-up to be completed by the time HM starts.. At least it gives more time for any buffer needed. Ur catering IC can be there when the caterer starts &amp; finishes the set-up, and abt 15-30 min before the actual start of the reception.

Wld u also be having service staff for ur recep? If so, then ur catering IC need not stay there thru'out..He/she wld love to be witnessing your wedding yah?
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hi Corsage,

Hmm.. Def put ur foot down on this. Explain that they can have another round of celebration with &amp; for you 2 on another occasion.
Hahah.. have ur/Fh's parents ard when ur frens are there? Hopefully tt wld restrain ur frens a little
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Corsage ya like what mehmeh say...sometimes maybe when the parents voice out liao say dont play already they are tired let them rest...maybe they will go off..hehehe
 
mehmeh and summerice:
Oh, I've nvr thought of getting the parents involved! I'm not sure they want to =p But thanks for the suggestion, maybe I'll get our siblings to help instead.

I think I'll say no to hard liquor. As for the getting them out of the room thingy that's much harder, because I also don't want to overly offend.
 
Hi all

My bf proposed over the weekend. So I guess I will be kept busy over the next year as he wishes to have the wedding next yr end. I need help!!!

Can someone pls let me know which are the nice churches (those with pews and not chairs kind) that will allow non-members to hold their weddings there? What will the cost be?

Has anyone had their church wedding first thing in the morning, before tea ceremony? What's the pros and cons of having church weddding first vs having the normal tekan session + tea ceremony then church wedding in the afternoon.

I wish to have a simple wedding but his parents would like to have a dinner. So how to make it simple, meaningful and yet make the parents happy? Haiz....
 
mehmeh: Thanks! Everything's back to normal now, don't have to take the medicines liao. Thank God!

corsage, how my FH and I sidestepped the liquor issue was to just declare the whole event liquor-free, except wine (no champagne even) because we don't want our friends getting super-drunk at our wedding. We said that this was a nod to our wedding being a conservative Christian one, and everyone was fine with that. Yup~~

BB_Queen: Congratulations!!!!! That must have been a really special present! =)
I'm having a short tekan session first, then getting ferried off to church for the solemnisation, and then back for the tea ceremony. I do feel (and so does he) that it's most important to get God's blessing first of all. My mum insisted that I go get married in church first anyway.
 
hi corsage,

u're welcome.. Commit even this aspect to God.. Like u said, sometimes the fun is really not done as good-fun, but at the expense of the couple

hi sharon,

Yeahyeah! Praise God.. Can enjoy the year-end properly
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hi bbqueen,

I think either on this page or the prev archived thread, there are some churches listed with some costs included.. U go seeseelooklook on tt k?

Having church wedding first w/o ur FH picking u up in the morn is a rather romantic idea.. heheh, when u walk down the aisle with ur dad, it wld be quite breathtaking for ur FH, as tt wld be the first time he sees u *ithink*

I didn't do tt myself.. but I really like the idea!

Not much advantages abt having the tea ceremony b4 the church wedding.. but i must say tt if the tekan session goes out of hand, it may spoil the mood of the day or if the groom consumes sthg he cannot stomach, things may not be tt ideal
 
Hi Jazol &amp; mehmeh,
Thanks for replying. My reception will be around 12plus or 1pm. I don't have a service staff. So I wonder do I need to get someone to station there and look after the food. Also, it is advisable to have the buffet setup before the HM starts?
 
Hi coco

it is advisable to have the buffet setup before the HM starts. Normally in between the HM than the food will arrive.

I believe caterer should know how to arrange their timing. You just have to tell them your HM time and your reception time.
 
Hi ladies,
I am also a Christian BTB in June next year and would like to rent a Kua with no dragons stuff,can someone pls advise me where to rent one?
Thank you!
 
hi coco, setting up ur guest reception table and ur buffet line will be 2 diff time. so u need to chk wif them on the timing...

hi slgerman, welcum to this thread. to wat I know Kua hv dragons and i dont tink there will any without dragons... cos whn i look for my bathrobe for AD all hv dragons thn finally managed to find one without it...

hi BB Queen, congrats you must be very happy whn ur bf proposed to you. the previous thread has a list of churches tat will rent the premise to non-members..
 
hi coco,

u're welcome! Hmm, u had better check with ur caterer.. As far as i know, both the set-up &amp; food arrives at the same time. All the food wld be in place, but u can opt to have the burners lighted later
Honestly, unless tt someone u want stationed there to take care of the food is paid, otherwise i think ur frens/relatives wld love to witness the wedding.. Just my 2-cents worth

hi slgerman,

Welcome to this thread.. Have u checked with ur BS if they have kuas with floral embroidery? If they do have, then u can save the cost on renting fr other vendors. Not sure if BSs wld rent out, but I do know of this place which sells a variety of Kuas - House of Etiquette.. Heard their designs are quite exquisite
 
<font color="0077aa">hi coco, during my wedding, the set up and food came separately, about one hour apart.. i have a fren who liaised with the caterer when they arrived and to make payment.. she was in the service during other times..

by the way, did you previously ask me for the bridesmaids' dresses contact? email me if you want.. i am quite happy with the dresses for the amount i paid.. =)</font>
 
Hi

Thanks to all who replied.

Sure, I will look through the previous thread. I am happy because he really made an effort in preparing the proposal. However, I am vexed too because I know there will be a lot of things to be done. And me, being a perfectionist, will be super stressed.

Both of us think that the church first idea is good because we want to commit our marriage to God and place God first in the relationship. I think it's also romantic because that means my husband will then have the first glimpse of me as I walk down the aisle. I suspect he may tear :P However, that means our friends won't be able to have fun.

I think I will have lots of reading and researching to do over the weekend. Still need a lot of advice from you sisters in the months to come.
 
Hi,

I always see this thread and on and off have been reading this forum. And dear Sisters-in-Christ, really need your great advices!!

I am a Christian BTB and really have a few concern issues.

1) We are self-employed and my FH did not do well last year. We save just barely enough for renovation. the house downpayment is still short of $10,000

2) we got a home already waiting to get the keys on Mar 2007. with that, Mortgage about $1085 will kick in while we renovate the house in April.

3) my dad wants a simple Cantonese tradition where my FH has to deliver a Roast Pig and Ping Li to my parents. and i am not very keen on it.

My FH still insist of going according to as planned: renovate the house in April, incur mortgage for April, May, June, July when we are not even moving in. And have to buy Bed for MBR, sinks, taps, lights along the way.

My head is very big now. i wanna delay our collection of keys in order to delay our renovation and our mortgage. and to go ahead with the Church wedding in July 2007. We have not even bought our wedding rings and taken our Bridal Shoot!

I expressed to him that i am not comfortable in getting all these things done up when we are now constantly draining our savings and praying hard that every month we hit target to pay for the mortgage. it will be rather tiring. and i would rather save more now for a better start or marriage.

My FH says that everything must be shared. I thought that BS, Church wedding and Ping Li is his portion? We are like: he is waiting for me to initiate things to happen and i am waiting for him to do something. and he, being believing that sharing cost, he seems relax. and i simply now dunno what to do now. I am out of my mind now. He seems so relax and peaceful that i really wonder if he really sees the issue and feel panic about it.
 
Hi MiCar,

after reading...found that it is quite normal for couples to find something call money not enuff...and another thing about relationship with husband or wife with the parents/parents in law...par toh days...no say much thing...it is during the wedding preparations...suddenly got many things to say.

This is what i could think of...for the house...depending on the amount of reno u need...if it is a standard flat...est abt $30k...if some parts no need reno...est abt $10-20k

For wedding rings expect a couple of hundreds...bridal shoot...a normal package is about $2-3k...if add photos would be around $5k.

Agree that if possible to postpone the collection of keys to delay...but still have to spent the amount of $$$ later.

For parents and in law matters...it would be better with the child in the picture...means u tok to your parents...your husband must listen togather...to avoid any misunderstanding lor...try to get the 'win win' situation lor.

Try to spend within limits for wedding...especially things that are for other pple to see...personally think that banquet is possible to do away then do away...replace with lunch or something simple...but still serve the same purpose
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What to share?...hmm...this is a tricky question...we cant really say who pay for what in this...would be better to discuss with your husband lor...in this modern days...most of us err...for myself...we share share pay lor...at least both of us are involved in the paying part...
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final part...pray...pray and still pray...we human can only do the human part...what is left is the worrying things that we cant do...only God can!...ask from Him and He will give...for He loves us so much to see us not to suffer!

remeber when we enter in marriage...it is a covenant...it is not a 50-50 relationship...but a 100% from both parties...u are there for him...and he is there for u...ask him to think about as well
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it is a wedding for BOTH OF YOU...so both of u must enjoy every part of it
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<font color="0077aa">micar, i think you should talk to your fiance and iron out each other's expectations... pray for wisdom on how you should approach this topic.. =)

erm, how the finances are split depends on the two of you... in my case, i was supposed to pay for the wedding.. and my hubby will take care of the costs of house and reno.. while the other couples may share the wedding expenses.. =)

finally, commit your plans to God with your fiance in agreement.. He will provide.. dun worry.. in all things, seek Him.. =)

He will not deprive you of a dream wedding simply because you are His beloved child, not forgetting that He sent Jesus to die for you.. what's all He will not give it to you?

if you have read my earlier post, i have a fabulous wedding..in exactly the way i wanted.. and God has been faithful in His provisions.. The entire wedding expenses were covered with surpluses.. all glory be to God!

God bless you and fiance richly!</font>
 
Hello,

Thank you for your advices!

Well, We are not going to hvae a banquet in Singapore. Both side of the parents are from East and West Malaysia. I told my dad that we want to have a very small dinner in West Malaysia for my parents. My dad says that he will take care of wedding tables there. My FH will have his in East Malaysia. Plan not yet discussed as to whether to have a small one. The last time my Fh went back, he was not specific about the things to discussed on.

The think about my FH is that he is not specific. God made men to be very big picture. but i just cannot take it now as this is really way too big of the picture that he sees. he overlooked alot of things. he din even ask things in details.

For the Reno, we are already taking away what is not necessary and have bring the figure down to $15k.

Now that we are going to spend a life together, i cannot always have my way. Or maybe i always think that i reason it well. all these while in the relationship, my reasonings has always been sound. Just do not know why this time round, he still want the house and expect us to throw in the mortgage for 4 months when the house is only being renovated and he moving in for awhile. I know he is eager to move in for as he is a malaysian. but the financing if hte mortage is a headache. How am i gonna draw a timeline to let him know.

I really dunno what to do. Committing all these to The Lord and i feel challenged. I am not carrying any expectation. Maybe just one: that is the finances will flow thru smoothly. I do not want to stress over this $$ issue.


And Pandalic, could you direct me to your date of posting where you share about your dream wedding?
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Hi Meh meh &amp; Jazol,
Thank you for sharing..i m taking ala carte,so no Kua provided..aiya..got to search then.

Hi Micar,
Aiyo..i typed out a super long message for you..and there was some prob with posting..all deleted...grr..let me start again now brief version
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..

I think the most impt issue is the expectations of you n your HTB.It seems he is having a totally different mindset from you.Why dun you sit him down and be totally frank to sort it out?

Communications is very impt.In the life ahead,reno process,weddin prep,there are bound to be even more arguments,compromise..so this is jus the beginning..

If you need to move in aft church ceremony,then u need to reno.I have frens who spent $15k on reno,n it is nice n comfortable.Some others even stay with inlaws first or rent an apt.

The most necessary to spend on reno is flooring (get contractors),electrical wiring (get direct electrician) and painting (can DIY).

As for purchases,lights n toilet accessories are the absolute must.As for the mattress n bed frame,as long as u make allowance for the space,u need not buy it yet.

As for reno stuff,I was super hands on during reno,so if you need the any details,i will go dig and send to u okie?

As for your dad's requirements,y r u hesitant towards the idea?Religious?$?I checked with my mum,some old folks like the idea cos of face issue,so they can distribute to relatives to eat.But then n again,the most impt is tat you talked to ur dad abt y he wans it.

Take heart..remember "With God,nothing is impossible!" Amen?

We are here to support each other..so hang on..
 
MiCar,

Maybe I share from my own experience how we cost-save, since I'm also a cash-strapped bride?

Regarding renos and furniture:
I also originally wanted a great reno, but my FH and a church friend advised me this--it's better not to get into serious money debt at the start of the wedding. You can have your dream home, the two main factors are money and time. If you have money, then time taken to achieve the home is short. But if money is short (which it is for me), then it's a matter of time.

Give yourselves a time-frame in which you want to achieve the dream home by. You've eliminated what is unnecessary. Now, think carefully what you can live with until then. Is the house an ugly colour? Then maybe you can just repaint for now. Get good friends to help along, make it an outing for you all? If the toilet is crap, you can reno that first, and what you might want to do to save money and get a nice reno still is to go and find IDs that are looking to update their portfolios. They will offer you cheaper prices but you will have to give them the right to do use the pictures. They may also do a better job because it's their portfolio--a bad visual job would reflect badly on them.

Furniture-wise, keep a look-out for warehouse sales in the papers, like Brighton in Aljunied has some nice stuff and they're okay prices, or you can trawl the Marketplace forums in sgbrides, some people are selling their old stuff, and from what I've seen thus far, they aren't usually older than 5 years old for the furniture, so they're still steady. Every year just add and add on.

Appliances: buy from neighbourhood stores. They are a lot cheaper (though range is limited and not so up-to-date--meaning you won't find the latest Samsung LCD TV, just last season's design lor) and you can bargain. Delivery is always free, esp if you buy in bulk from them. Thong Seng down at Alexandra Village isn't too bad.

Bridal shoot:
Ask yourself: is this absolutely necessary? If it's not, then don't do it, because it can eat a big portion of your budget in terms of top-ups. If you feel that you want it though, try the bridal studios in JB, they charge about half the price, and the service and quality is apparently better.

Wedding rings: honestly speaking, these can come closer to the date. My FH is a super-thrifty kind, so he waited until the rings were on 50% sale and then he go and buy! And he announce proudly to me some more! So keep an eye out for sales. If you're busy and stuff, I can help you keep an eye out for these things, since I'm quite free! Just PM me la.

Anyway, zong3 zhi1, do commit everything to God, sit your FH down and pray over the finances and preps every week. Cheers!
 
Thanks slgerman and Sharon for your concerns and your advice.

I have been talking to him about delaying the collection of the keys. and even offer him to temporary stay in my home for 2 months after the church wedding while our home is renovated.

I even thought of getting the keys in December and temporary stay in my home after the July Church wedding so that we can save up more cash for the house.

to him it is a pride issue to move into my home. he will think, what will his parents think that he is marrying into my family. What kind of tradtional values is he thinking? to me, tradition kills. Yes there must be respect. but in marriage, when 2 people are together, there is no EGO right? Anyway it is only temporary. and i really feel comfortable in my home. I would not want to stay in his rented room. in fact, i never liked to go to his rented room for many reasons: not his house, and not good to be stuck in a room alonw with him before marriage.
 
<font color="0077aa">micar, you can be confident in expecting.. dun give up hope.. HOPE in the bible is defined as the confident expectation of good in Christ.. it's not the worldly hope that i am saying here.. =)

remember, whatsoever you ask in Jesus' name, believe and you shall receive.. believing also come before receiving.. .=)

i think my post is just one archive before this.. =)

hee, we almost stayed at my place after the wedding.. but that being said, nothing beats having your own place.. =) my place wun be ready until end of 2007... but God provided a temp apt for our enjoyment..

i think while the marriage unites 2 persons, there are 2 families in the broader picture.. kekeke, while my MIL suggested the solution of staying at my place previously, i know she would much prefer us to stay on our own..kekekek so yah, you gotta understand him in this aspect... dun put him in a tied spot also.. =)</font>
 


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