Chatters

[sgbabydoll]

Lynn, don't have to care about what he says lah. The more you entertain him the more confused you are going to get.

After I decided to divorce the ex-husband, he threatened once again to kill himself or run away from the country, I remained nonchalant. It was then that he knew I meant business. I used to break down when he went missing for a few days or made suicide threats. So, keep your cool.

 

[lynn_c09]

Pinky,
i agreed wif wat u said, we married the man we loved. here i am trying to salvage the marriage, there he's doing nothing....

 

[sgbabydoll]

Lynn, like to share some quotes from a book called "Too old soon, too late wise"

"While it takes two people to create a relationship, it takes only one to end it."

"One party typically feels and expresses less affection and respect than the other. This appears to be a bid to seize control of the relationship."

"Any relationship is under the control of the peson who cares the least."

 

[lynn_c09]

another thing to share, lately i found out that he wen to a ger's hse to help her wif her com, i recognised his spec, he made it for our wedding in '05. den i asked him y he was there, he said his frd dragged him there. den i asked me y he nv tel me he said he scared i angry, i told him tat if he nv tel me hw he noe i will be angry. he said he sure noe i will be angry. well done! wen i go see the pix again, it was taken on the 3rd dae after our wedding! den there was a videoclip of tat ger, no 3rd person ard.

 

[cheerio]

Pinky, of coz you should not give up your marriage lightly, but before going for the counselling, you got to talk him into opening up when in the counselling session. its no point if he is not comfortable to share his tots and let a total stranger know what is going on in his mind.

 

[xiao_li_64]

Siao, ya i was very tired after that r/s. Although he treated me very well (whenever he was not in his "crazy" mode), i just couldn't picture spending the rest of my life with someone who has such a violent streak (and we're not even married yet). Like the lyrics in a song: Sometimes, love's just ain't enough.

 

[sgbabydoll]

This is not to tell you to be nonchalant in your future relationship in order to be in the upper hand, ok. I merely want you to know that it is a reflection of the state of your current marriage. A healthy relationship is well-balanced on both sides.

 

[crazy_guy]

xiaoli,

tis kinda pple mostly beahve in tis way one..they're much sweeter than most guys..but when turn violent, they can be like monster one..n tats y some gals cant get out of tis kinda r/s..

 

[sgbabydoll]

Siao is right. That's my observation too.

 

[lynn_c09]

Babydoll,
i ever read frm smwhere tat, it says that in relationship, the person who makes the most noise is the one at fault. i was still tinking i am the one at fault cos i made too much noise, bt cm to tink of all those he had done, he caused me to be like tis. find it ver weird, everytime i see his com i will find out new things, he accused me of keeping the contract and deposit frm a cilent cos we were separated for long and undergg divorce. haha! since wen we were separated for long, onli one mth. wat a joke!

 

[crazy_guy]

cos with tis kinda guy, u got up & down in r/s n can be spicy....w average guys, ur r/s might be too stable n hence bit boring to say

 

[sgbabydoll]

Lynn, since there is no remorse in him, please stop entertaining his cheap talks.

 

[crazy_guy]

lynn,

if he's doing fishy things, i dun see u have anything wrong to make noise..

 

[xiao_li_64]

"cos with tis kinda guy, u got up & down in r/s n can be spicy"

Siao, this makes me think abt those Korean melodrama leh. The male lead is damn sentimental and romantic, but at the same time get into violent fights all the time. Hahaha

 

[lynn_c09]

ah siao,
i feel that too.... if he claims that the sms was a joke, and he reali loves me, i feel that the more he will cm and pacify me, wen i saw the sms, i cried and cried... it happened juz b4 i wen to wrk.... wen i confronted him, i reali felt cheated and i slapped him, i dunno y i slapped him, after i did that, i feel that my heart is ver pain.... he onli care abt y i slapped him....

 

[crazy_guy]

xiaoli,

i dun see this kinda waste time drama..keke...but to me, no matter how angry u r, hiting someone is just wrong...

lynn,

i just feel tat if u love someone deep enuff, u wont bear to hurt her..well, maybe slapping him is not a gd thing to do...

 

[xiao_li_64]

But Lynn, you mentioned in your earlier post that he told you he doesnt love you anymore. So maybe that explains why he didn't pacify you. Sometimes we have to face the harsh fact that people do change...

 

[lynn_c09]

ah siao,
i noe i shld nt hv done that, i reali felt sori after doing it.... but i reali felt cheated and being betrayed..

 

[lynn_c09]

Xiaoli,
he onli told me recently. Tis sms thingy happened in Oct

 

[xiao_li_64]

Siao, I can emphatize with Lynn. Sometimes you keep that anger and sadness inside you for so long, that when it erupts, you just cant control yourself. I've had similar experience too. For girls, we will usually bottle up our unhappiness until it reaches a peak.

 

[crazy_guy]

i know..tat's y i said its not right, i din say its wrong...cos i can understand..

n lynn, since he already laid down his cards, he no longer love u, now u have to make ur decision...how old r u??

 

[cheerio]

relationship is such a difficult thing right, Ah siao? but dont be frighten to commit because of all the sorry stories, k.. kekekeke...

 

[dreamster]

haha.. u noe wat. Tat remark made by ah siao is kinda y i broke up with my ex bf. hahahaha.. OMG... Im asking for trouble. And it is true, my hb is a very sweet person during his normal times. He's attentive, gentleman and he makes me feel like being a xiao nu ren for him. But then when he had his outburst, it was realli horrible. But there r juz some decisions he make in his life tat i feel the complete opposite. We have very different views in a lot of things.

Cheerio, I agree with u, I noe i will need to have a heart to heart talk with him. But he's a guy, and he always feels he's rite and he may not listen to me. So I dont noe how raising the issue on marriage counselling will get him to go for it. However, I hope tat he will agree to it, on the fact tat he sees our marriage as an important thing in his life.

If i were to end my marriage now, it will also create a lot of unhappiness. Coz no matter wat, the main reason y we r married is becoz I was already preg. Its juz sort of makes everything even more complicated.

 

[lynn_c09]

ah siao,
i am 27 he's 28... i had called up a lawyer, bt she's nt ard, bk on mon, she will cal me wen she's bk... gonna do a DOS.. those things he had done can be considered unreasonable behaviour mah? actuali got more to go wan...

 

[cheerio]

Pinky, just focus on how to help him solve his emotional issue, like you say you marry him because you love him, so dont remind yourself of the complications because of your pregnancy, it wont make you feel better

 

[skylar]

Lynn,
guess ur ex keep quiet when u said that coz deep know he knows ur the best! but too bad if he treat u badly..

As for abusiveness or those guys who will threaten death at the slightest things are not good or healthy at all..

For my case,I used to have my ex who also threaten to commit sucide if I were to break off with him, worst is that we are already not getting along fine, think prob is more with me but he die die will not accept a break off so he also cut wrist,it took me close to 1 year to make him understand that I wanna break off.

 

[snowflo]

hi,
sorry to interrupt, but reading the later posts here make me want to share a real case.

in this scenario, the hb just mia. the wife has no way to contact him. his mobile is permanently off, he does not reply to her emails n she does not hv his mailing address nor knows where he is in china.
yes, wife only knows he is in china but no idea which province let alone which city or even village!
however, she knows that he was back in s'pore (fr the transaction details in the hb's bank acct) but doesn't know if he is still in here and he has not made any attempt to contact her.
the hb has mia for like 1 year. she is thinking of freezing his personal bank acct to flush him out of his hole.
would any of u know if this freezing of bank acct thing can be done? the bank acct is the hb's personal bank acct, not joint acct.

 

[crazy_guy]

cherrio, how u know i have commitment phobia?...LOL

pinky, usually pple have 2 faces one...usually u see one is the good one...how ulgy is the other one usually u wont see until..hmmm

lynn, u r still pretty young...many future ahead of u....u should not have a problem getting a better guy next time

 

[lynn_c09]

ah siao,
i feel tat God is making a way for me, i was able to get out of depression ver fast! one of my gd frd who wrks at mt e came to see me wen i wen to see the doc, she got a shock! y am i like tat nw.... she nearly teared wen she saw me looking so pale and down.... my bro told my mum, man marry woman is to love and cherish them, not to hurt them... he told me to leave him....

 

[crazy_guy]

true..indeed very true....u marry her is to love n cherish her, not to destroy her....

u r still young....give urself a chance to seek for a better future

 

[cheerio]

wei wei wei... siao, your memory fail ah, the other time you just mention that after hearing all these stories you rather stay single leh...

that was you right...? correct lah...!

 

[lynn_c09]

ah siao,
hope i can find a better one next time.... i asked myself, i had nv done anything wrong, y do i deserve all tis....? do u believe, i had onli received one card frm him since we dated and married.... it had been 4 years... i reali wonder y i married him.... love is blind.... the 1st promise he made has yet to be carried out... haha

 

[dreamster]

Thanks Cheerio, I will and tat is wat I intend to do too. I will try my best to stop myself from having expectations on him and putting more pressure on him. I juz dont wish to see tat other side of him anymore. I noe the possibility of getting rid of it is hard, but at least minimise?

 

[crazy_guy]

haha..ya ya....see n heard lotsa cases...very glad tat m still single actually...dun think i will ever gonna change tat too....sometime i feel tat chasing a r/s is just simply waste of time

lynn, tat one i dunno liao lor..maybe its just ur fate

 

[lynn_c09]

yalor.... muz go temple more often to pray....

 

[sgbabydoll]

Snowflo, are you the wife of your above story? Anyway, I don't think the wife has the right to freeze or close the account that belongs to the husband only, even if she is the wife. If she can move on from there, I like to suggest that she files for divorce on dissertion.

 

[skylar]

ya.. if account is not urs then u cannot freeze it de.. most to most, what u can do now is to go police & seek help ba..

 

[dogtag73]

skylar moi o_0

 

[dogtag73]

how i wish my wife divorce me because of reason like i had an affair with a pretty woman like Lin Zhi Ling or Jolin Tsai...hahaha. at least i have a normal sex life with another woman rather than waiting for sex visa...Zzzzz

 

[skylar]

Meng,
why u see me with small & big eyes???
ah.. kekeke..
then i return u with @.@ kekeke...

if there is really such a thing like sex visa, must make sure u get "multiple entries" leh.. lol

 

[mayimayi]

woah.. jus got back from a long meeting..

pinky and lynn, hope u both are feeling better after that chat here ya.. Jia you and stay strong!! xD

 

[lynn_c09]

hi Mayi,
Thanks for ur encouragement! I am better! Hope tat the "rainbow" will cm after the "rain" hehe

 

[dottyback]

skylar she cant freeze it but she can take all the money out if its a joint LOL i did dat rem?? wahahhahaha

 

[skylar]

Serene..
yes I rmb that!! lol...

but the worst thing is that its not even a joint acc otherwise I would have taught her that lor.. kekek..

 

[dottyback]

i going to a weddding dinner later...hai..another 'duno wats there to be so happy abt' occasion

 

[green_tranquility]

Went to watch Golden Compass this afternoon. The computer effects are marvellous but the plot is long-winded.

First time saw such a beautiful witch leh in movie!

 

[green_tranquility]

Pinky,
Yah control yourself from saying too hurting words and go for counselling together with HB.

Dun give up on the marriage. Both of you have overcome many hurdles to get together.

 

[green_tranquility]

Serene,
Then just go and enjoy the food lor

 

[cheerio]

wu lang bo....?

 

[green_tranquility]

Me nia...