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Heart, we ROMed in 2001 and customary done a year later, in 2002.

My mom, brother, sis-in-law, 2nd sis, 2nd bro-in-law already knew about my bf. In the dark are my dad, eldest sis and eldest bro-in-law.

By the way, I think I told you that bf is African, yah?
 


doll, the reason why i can't sleep tonite is that it really hit me juz now that how come it took me one full yr to realise that i no longer love my HB. tat now i no longer care wat he did, when he come home. the oni time we talk is becoz of our boi.
 
doll, my ROM was in yr 1999 and customary is yr 2001.

ya, u told me abt ur African bf either on thur or fri when i ask you abt it. was abit confused inititally when hunky kept saying u prefer chocolate.

i think i understand the reason for keeping ur father in the dark. my guess is he's the conservative type of guy, might be unable to accept. however why is ur elder sis in the dark also? is she very close to ur dad?

u have quite a big family
happy.gif
i've oni one sis and one bro
 
Heart, then you must read this book I am talking about. It will help you to clear up your thoughts further.

As for me, I still loved my ex-husband even by the time I decided on divorce. It was so painful, you know. Gradually, I realised that he isn't the man whom I can spend the rest of my life with because of his dubious character.

This book sort of like set me thinking about a man's/woman's character, how important it is for the success of a relationship.
 
well heart, at least u realise that after 1yr..for some it takes longer...n some..never till too late..So that is a gd start..next is to think of what to do...
 
Heart, you got married pretty early hor?

My family (excluding the in-laws) is only one member more than yours leh. Hehe.

I wanted to be more certain about my bf before letting my dad knows. As for my eldest sis, she is more judgemental than the rest of my siblings. She has ever said that shouldn't go for a younger man, non-Chinese, etc. She will be the last in the family to know if I decide to introduce bf to family formally.
 
Author is Gordon Livingston. I borrowed the book from a public library.

After reading some chapters, I already knew my decision was right. So I stopped feeling guilty for bowing out. Lovey feelings alone cannot sustain a marriage.
 
I know your age, Heart, as you have said it before.

I am 36.

Don't worry about growing old alone. It is better to feel lonely alone than to feel lonely when you are with someone whom you don't trust nor respect.
 
For me, I also had a few sessions with my relationship counsellor and have benefitted from it. One of the things she said is - I should never avoid being in a relationship again. Must learn to overcome the fear and insecurity. Don't deny yourself but don't rush it too.
 
Sorry, Heart, I am Dog hor! Was born Jan 1971 so in the Lunar calendar it was still the 12th month of the Year of the Dog.

I think I can bark your head off haha.

By the way, my bf is also a Dragon. He was born Dec 1976
 
doll, how did u come across ur relationship counsellor?

actually i beeb thinking of going counselling for quite some time. i need to talk to someone.... to make my anger go away, so tat i can live in peace with myself
 
I felt I had come to a bottleneck in healing. Back then, I was already with my bf and had been thinking of giving up on him as I was still very troubled by the past. So, my journalist contact recommended me to the counsellor who has been interviewed many times on TV and in newspapers.

Heart, you have to forgive yourself. You have to love yourself. That's the beginning of healing.
 
doll, my bro in law also doggie and he was forever making fun of me... haiz....

thought u say ur bf is 6 yrs ur junior?

well, i'm older than ur bf... i'm born may 1976... my boi is may 2005, he's a rooster but is nite wan... hence he likes to sleep alot
 
doll, i dun blame myself. i need to talk it out, the hurt in me need to be xpressed and acknowledge before i can be at peace. the things tat i saw and heard..... is a torture to me.
 
I was born Jan 1971 and he, Dec 1976. So, six years right?

I think it's good that you have a boy. I have always wanted a boy ever since I wanted to be a mom few years back.
 
Yes, Heart, do see a counsellor. She can't resolve your problems but she can help you see clearer. You also need to learn to let it go, all the negative thoughts and emotions. I also think that when you begin to commence the D procedure you will instantly feel more relieved.
 
believer, u hiding in a corner reading but no contribution?

i might suddenly log off .... my boi seems abit awake..... was point my laptop juz now and even laughing.... but now back to sleep liow
 
Ok, ok.

But Believer, cannot just love someone blindly, so I am still observing, though I won't get suspicious anyhow. So far, I find him generally honest, logical and straightforward. These characteristics are what I value highly now in a partner.
 
doll, i scratch head leh

believer, indeed he had lots of fun with his rooster lantern and also was at the playground with lots of kids playing with him.

juz now when i was driving to and for simei, i let him watch barney in the car, he was singing along with it and kept pointing to me and smile... warm my heart.....
 
believer, ur children very big now hence no longer watch barney is it?

doll, it was very great difficulty that i have this child, hence will always treasure it. if life had been smooth, i could have two actually. maybe its fated. the miscarriage last yr might be god's will, to let me found out the affair.....
 

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