Being 'Friends' with Betraying Husband
- Thread starter herley
- Start date
powder,
these are not words for my husband. I don't get angry with him saying all these cause he didn't said in a complain tone, just a remark. What I see physically here is harsh comments about gender differences that spark the fire within me. COuld be a case I misunderstood? Since I don't get to hear their tone?
I don't like pointing fingers at any person hence I do not like to give conclusive comments. I read books and go to parenting websites (singapore's) to understand child-rearing issues.
I also don't know how the guys in the postings are reading my post. I just answer a simple question posted by someone and others started bombarding my post....hey, Thought I should be the one or the person who commented that post getting angry. What has it got to do with those who wrote after my 1052 hrs post????
I do sound harsh and angry from my subsequent post. Guess the guys here made me mad.
This is also the first thread that I lost my cool...
these are not words for my husband. I don't get angry with him saying all these cause he didn't said in a complain tone, just a remark. What I see physically here is harsh comments about gender differences that spark the fire within me. COuld be a case I misunderstood? Since I don't get to hear their tone?
I don't like pointing fingers at any person hence I do not like to give conclusive comments. I read books and go to parenting websites (singapore's) to understand child-rearing issues.
I also don't know how the guys in the postings are reading my post. I just answer a simple question posted by someone and others started bombarding my post....hey, Thought I should be the one or the person who commented that post getting angry. What has it got to do with those who wrote after my 1052 hrs post????
I do sound harsh and angry from my subsequent post. Guess the guys here made me mad.
This is also the first thread that I lost my cool...
Come to think of it.....I would thank Milo if he gives me the studies cos I do like to read about parenting and human relationships.
Milo,
Waiting for your info. Don't have to prove anything to me. It's not about winning. It's about learning. But if you think otherwise, then be it.
Hope to see your reply soon
Milo,
Waiting for your info. Don't have to prove anything to me. It's not about winning. It's about learning. But if you think otherwise, then be it.
Hope to see your reply soon
tat's fine lah... but just letting u know where i'm coming from...
there's something there that u should know... it's that some of us fathers may not fuss over our kids, nor do lotsa research... but we still get the job done. it's the basic diff between the genders... we're more like nike - "just do it"...
sm has 3 kids, i was just asking him regarding some child-development paths a week ago cos his kids are well spread out and he's playing a dual-parent role to them. when he said it isn't rocket science, i agree with him. having kids does not make us experts, neither does reading books etc. nothing beats hands-on experience in our specific spore climate and education system... i'll be taking more reference from parents like him, than from books. cos books aren't able to capture our specific environments... and that's my view. btw, i have read my fair share of books n gone online for some specific problems before as well... otherwise, i dun read too much and fuss too much.
there's something there that u should know... it's that some of us fathers may not fuss over our kids, nor do lotsa research... but we still get the job done. it's the basic diff between the genders... we're more like nike - "just do it"...
sm has 3 kids, i was just asking him regarding some child-development paths a week ago cos his kids are well spread out and he's playing a dual-parent role to them. when he said it isn't rocket science, i agree with him. having kids does not make us experts, neither does reading books etc. nothing beats hands-on experience in our specific spore climate and education system... i'll be taking more reference from parents like him, than from books. cos books aren't able to capture our specific environments... and that's my view. btw, i have read my fair share of books n gone online for some specific problems before as well... otherwise, i dun read too much and fuss too much.
Hi powder,
that's also sharing of "tips" from others right? Same as mothers who share around with their own friends mah....just that context is different.
We meet, you ask via internet?
I also use similar methods on my kids like SM. I practise love and discipline at the same time. Isolate and let my youngest child cool off first before talking and giving him the hugs.
Though I'm not yet a single mom but I am the main caregiver for my kids. My MIL don't help out at all and my husband always away for work....So I do have my own ways of teaching.
I read alot and share alot but I don't fuss over it as well....it's knowledge gain to me
that's also sharing of "tips" from others right? Same as mothers who share around with their own friends mah....just that context is different.
We meet, you ask via internet?
I also use similar methods on my kids like SM. I practise love and discipline at the same time. Isolate and let my youngest child cool off first before talking and giving him the hugs.
Though I'm not yet a single mom but I am the main caregiver for my kids. My MIL don't help out at all and my husband always away for work....So I do have my own ways of teaching.
I read alot and share alot but I don't fuss over it as well....it's knowledge gain to me
tired mom,
I think you are very presumptuous in a couple of points made. We are already off-topic from the main thread and discussing a side-topic about being gender difference and yet you threw in more
Like "Men will be-grude a woman's maternity leave" (Why would you even want to assume this and discuss about this?). Whoever gives you the impression that we men think women having holidays after pregnancy.
For the record, I don't. In fact I think the govt should give more.. up to 6 months for the mother. I have staff on maternity leave and always support them - ask them to rest longer if that is what they choose to do. It is just re-arrangement of assignment and getting additional help. I even blogged about this.
Secondly, I was alluded to the fact the MIL/DIL has more problems than SIL/MIL but doesnt mean SIL/MIL don't have problem - just lesser. This is on a very general basis - based on the friends/relatives I know that has MIL and their relationship. Of course there are some, like you who don't have problem with in-laws but my assertion is that due to the way women are being hard-wired - it is more likely for them to have problem in in-laws as opposed to men.
And thirdly you are again assuming that I was communicating with powder via the internet. Presumptuous again, we actually spoken in person
But so what if we communicate via internet? Less valid?
the whole gist of my point is not to say women are not good parents - far from it. But I do see the tendency of women to be over-parenting and the feeling that they know best.
I do go online for parenting tips as well - as you mentioned Asian Parenting and such.. they may give you useful tips but at times you have to apply it and not necessary it is applicable in all situations.
And I shook my head in the incident in the shopping centre is not because the child was throwing tantrums (which 2 to 3 years old don't thrown tantrum) but the fact that the mother was engaged in a shouting game with her child.
My youngest child did thrown tantrum in public (when she is with the mother) but surprising NEVER when I am around. this is because each time when she throw tantrums at home, she will be isolated and she learnt very quickly it is quite pointless to throw tantrums with daddy around.
And please, we are not bombarding.. and if you still want to bring up more presumptuous statements, we have to refute it.
I think you are very presumptuous in a couple of points made. We are already off-topic from the main thread and discussing a side-topic about being gender difference and yet you threw in more
Like "Men will be-grude a woman's maternity leave" (Why would you even want to assume this and discuss about this?). Whoever gives you the impression that we men think women having holidays after pregnancy.
For the record, I don't. In fact I think the govt should give more.. up to 6 months for the mother. I have staff on maternity leave and always support them - ask them to rest longer if that is what they choose to do. It is just re-arrangement of assignment and getting additional help. I even blogged about this.
Secondly, I was alluded to the fact the MIL/DIL has more problems than SIL/MIL but doesnt mean SIL/MIL don't have problem - just lesser. This is on a very general basis - based on the friends/relatives I know that has MIL and their relationship. Of course there are some, like you who don't have problem with in-laws but my assertion is that due to the way women are being hard-wired - it is more likely for them to have problem in in-laws as opposed to men.
And thirdly you are again assuming that I was communicating with powder via the internet. Presumptuous again, we actually spoken in person
But so what if we communicate via internet? Less valid?
the whole gist of my point is not to say women are not good parents - far from it. But I do see the tendency of women to be over-parenting and the feeling that they know best.
I do go online for parenting tips as well - as you mentioned Asian Parenting and such.. they may give you useful tips but at times you have to apply it and not necessary it is applicable in all situations.
And I shook my head in the incident in the shopping centre is not because the child was throwing tantrums (which 2 to 3 years old don't thrown tantrum) but the fact that the mother was engaged in a shouting game with her child.
My youngest child did thrown tantrum in public (when she is with the mother) but surprising NEVER when I am around. this is because each time when she throw tantrums at home, she will be isolated and she learnt very quickly it is quite pointless to throw tantrums with daddy around.
And please, we are not bombarding.. and if you still want to bring up more presumptuous statements, we have to refute it.
powderful07
New Member
Guys...
When are you going to learn that you're not going to win when you're arguing with women?
PS : Yes, I'm being sexist...
When are you going to learn that you're not going to win when you're arguing with women?
PS : Yes, I'm being sexist...
powderful07
New Member
You'll learn...my young Padawan
Argue with women from the Dark Side...do not...
Vomit plenty of blood...you will...
Say "Yes, you're right"...you must...
Only then good life...you will enjoy...
May the Force be with you...
Argue with women from the Dark Side...do not...
Vomit plenty of blood...you will...
Say "Yes, you're right"...you must...
Only then good life...you will enjoy...
May the Force be with you...
yes...yes...do learn.
Don't argue with women.
Sorry, I can't continue arguing with you all till late night because those hours belonged to my kids. Too bad it may seem that I'm avoiding or escaping...but you are free to think whatever.
All are replies to the "after 1052hrs" postings, that's why I say it's out of point and out of frustration from seeing all the emails.
So you all can argue till the cow come home about my "after 1052hrs" postings and prove that I AM SEXIST AGAINST THE 3 OF YOU.
Nothing to avoid or escape...just nothing to do with you. Too bad if you do vomit blood. But definitely I'm not from dark side....to me, you are from dark side. Sama...sama...
Don't argue with women.
Sorry, I can't continue arguing with you all till late night because those hours belonged to my kids. Too bad it may seem that I'm avoiding or escaping...but you are free to think whatever.
All are replies to the "after 1052hrs" postings, that's why I say it's out of point and out of frustration from seeing all the emails.
So you all can argue till the cow come home about my "after 1052hrs" postings and prove that I AM SEXIST AGAINST THE 3 OF YOU.
Nothing to avoid or escape...just nothing to do with you. Too bad if you do vomit blood. But definitely I'm not from dark side....to me, you are from dark side. Sama...sama...
powderful07
New Member
Tired Mom...
Interesting to note that you're the one who accused people of being sexist and somehow it ended up as you proclaiming yourself as being accused of being sexist.
Nothing personal; if you can't stand up to the scrutiny of your comments by other people in this forum...then you might also wanna consider how you voice your comments here...
It's getting quite common to see people stirring up an issue; and when the tide turns against them...they just throws up their hands in exasperation and resigns themselves to being "victims" of online bullying...
I think my comment to you is for you to review through what you have written and look at it objectively...It's not very common for so many people to "gang up" (for want of a better word) against a single person...You must have done something to tick us off...
Be it your accusation of people making sexist remarks or your negative assumptions of powder (and guys in general) being against pregnant colleagues...
You could have mounted a better defense of your comments...but you chose the easy way out...
Interesting to note that you're the one who accused people of being sexist and somehow it ended up as you proclaiming yourself as being accused of being sexist.
Nothing personal; if you can't stand up to the scrutiny of your comments by other people in this forum...then you might also wanna consider how you voice your comments here...
It's getting quite common to see people stirring up an issue; and when the tide turns against them...they just throws up their hands in exasperation and resigns themselves to being "victims" of online bullying...
I think my comment to you is for you to review through what you have written and look at it objectively...It's not very common for so many people to "gang up" (for want of a better word) against a single person...You must have done something to tick us off...
Be it your accusation of people making sexist remarks or your negative assumptions of powder (and guys in general) being against pregnant colleagues...
You could have mounted a better defense of your comments...but you chose the easy way out...
thanks for the advice...
I still maintain my stand. I'm not a victim. Don't worry, I don't see myself as one and don't need any people to see me as one.
I just voice my comment and was read as sexist and I asked. That's all. subsequently all my posting is about that. I don't log on at nite and came back in the morning to see SOOOOO many posting on that so of cos get angry.
I never say I was bullied, just mentioned that I was bombarded with so many posting on 1 single post. Unless all of you felt that the word bombarding sounds like bullying, then nothing more to say.
You and milo kept saying I find easy way out, avoid questions, etc....do you think so?
Anyway, don't have to further explain as whatever you mention would sound like "SEXIST" comment lah....already being labelled as dark side and sexist....it's ok.
I don't know any of you anyway.
I still maintain my stand. I'm not a victim. Don't worry, I don't see myself as one and don't need any people to see me as one.
I just voice my comment and was read as sexist and I asked. That's all. subsequently all my posting is about that. I don't log on at nite and came back in the morning to see SOOOOO many posting on that so of cos get angry.
I never say I was bullied, just mentioned that I was bombarded with so many posting on 1 single post. Unless all of you felt that the word bombarding sounds like bullying, then nothing more to say.
You and milo kept saying I find easy way out, avoid questions, etc....do you think so?
Anyway, don't have to further explain as whatever you mention would sound like "SEXIST" comment lah....already being labelled as dark side and sexist....it's ok.
I don't know any of you anyway.
powderful07
New Member
Last that I check...
Bombarding sounds a lot like bullying...
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bombarding
You said "I just voice my comment and was read as sexist and I asked"
AGAIN...No one accused you of being sexist from the start...You did!...perhaps you might want to review your post again...You started all these sexist discussion...Not us...
Nobody accused you of anything; until you started it...
You don't know any of us?
But yet; you have no qualms about accusing people of being sexist and making negative assumptions on people...
Ok...now we know what kind of person we are dealing with...figures...
Bombarding sounds a lot like bullying...
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bombarding
You said "I just voice my comment and was read as sexist and I asked"
AGAIN...No one accused you of being sexist from the start...You did!...perhaps you might want to review your post again...You started all these sexist discussion...Not us...
Nobody accused you of anything; until you started it...
You don't know any of us?
But yet; you have no qualms about accusing people of being sexist and making negative assumptions on people...
Ok...now we know what kind of person we are dealing with...figures...
powderful07
New Member
Tired Mom...
Then did you notice us attacking your other posts if they have made sense???
We don't behave like a pitchfork weilding mob squad you know?
If you talk sense; would we have refute you?
Go think about it...
Then did you notice us attacking your other posts if they have made sense???
We don't behave like a pitchfork weilding mob squad you know?
If you talk sense; would we have refute you?
Go think about it...
that is b'cos you had started viewing it as "problem" post. That's why the posting started.
I did not change my way of writing in other posts. I don't say harsh things or cheem cheem words or even something like what you wrote? pitchfork weilding mobb squad????
Really don't know what you guys are writing. Wrong frequency, that's the only thing I can say.
I did not change my way of writing in other posts. I don't say harsh things or cheem cheem words or even something like what you wrote? pitchfork weilding mobb squad????
Really don't know what you guys are writing. Wrong frequency, that's the only thing I can say.
powderful07
New Member
Woo saa
Woo saa...
I was right yesterday...should have follow my own advice yesterday night...
Guys never win when you argue with a woman...
Woo saa...
I was right yesterday...should have follow my own advice yesterday night...
Guys never win when you argue with a woman...
I wrote "Oh dear...are we into sexist topics?....will never end...You and me see things at different perspectives."
It was read as "we ARE into sexist topics". That's how I see the why the post are coming in. Of course, anger comes in after that. Bombarding to me is throwing in lots of posts to me....like throwing bombs?
I did not make any negative comments about anybody unless you refer to those post after I was bombarded? Then that is true b'cos I see bombarding posting from 3 of you after I comment my view on a post by someone else.
Actually I don't feel anything with SM's first post b'cos he is very general but it's subsequent post that I read angers me.
It was read as "we ARE into sexist topics". That's how I see the why the post are coming in. Of course, anger comes in after that. Bombarding to me is throwing in lots of posts to me....like throwing bombs?
I did not make any negative comments about anybody unless you refer to those post after I was bombarded? Then that is true b'cos I see bombarding posting from 3 of you after I comment my view on a post by someone else.
Actually I don't feel anything with SM's first post b'cos he is very general but it's subsequent post that I read angers me.
powderful07
New Member
It's all right...you win...
We're sexist...
Woo saa..
Woo saa..
We're sexist...
Woo saa..
Woo saa..
powderful07
New Member
Trust me...
I'm the nasty one...sm and Milo can't even compare to me when I'm pissed...
I'm the nasty one...sm and Milo can't even compare to me when I'm pissed...
powderful,
why trust u if u're the nasty one? the values dun match leh...
being an INNOCENT BYSTANDER watching from the sides... i think wavelength all salah... she dun speak the same way as u so interpretation will be abit off too... i'm not finger-pointing, but i think sometimes if wanna go into discussion... the least pple can do is to be more aware of the points and address them in point.
But then not all of u were from debating teams like me when i was in Uni... having participated in the inter-varsity, inter-continental and inter-universe competitions, perhaps i'm the only one here who developed that keen sense...
so conclusion is what? well... chicken and duck talk... hard to understand and catch. end up the tiger (me) eat them both... keke
why trust u if u're the nasty one? the values dun match leh...
being an INNOCENT BYSTANDER watching from the sides... i think wavelength all salah... she dun speak the same way as u so interpretation will be abit off too... i'm not finger-pointing, but i think sometimes if wanna go into discussion... the least pple can do is to be more aware of the points and address them in point.
But then not all of u were from debating teams like me when i was in Uni... having participated in the inter-varsity, inter-continental and inter-universe competitions, perhaps i'm the only one here who developed that keen sense...
so conclusion is what? well... chicken and duck talk... hard to understand and catch. end up the tiger (me) eat them both... keke
Milo,
when I say I don't want to comment, you say I avoid or find easy way out.
When I say I see fire in comments and I couldn't stop it but add on, you say you are the one at fault.
Not pinpointing you but already say in my post to powerful how all this starts. All b'cos of mis-interpretation. Seems like you are still in the game. No intention to break ice with you. Just find that your postings are still full of anger.
Powder, you are right, it's chicken and duck talking....so no end.
when I say I don't want to comment, you say I avoid or find easy way out.
When I say I see fire in comments and I couldn't stop it but add on, you say you are the one at fault.
Not pinpointing you but already say in my post to powerful how all this starts. All b'cos of mis-interpretation. Seems like you are still in the game. No intention to break ice with you. Just find that your postings are still full of anger.
Powder, you are right, it's chicken and duck talking....so no end.
miloice
Well-Known Member
oh man... I'm not full of anger.
I simply pointed out the incorrect claims which u pretended and avoided answering to them. And so, I gave up trying to talk sense with you since 8.44pm on wed.
u and powderful went on and out of no where u went on to say I'm full of fire.
That's so funnie loh. Instead of anger, I'm laughing with amusement. Its truly surprised rather angry really. My bad that I'm pretty sarcastic about that. In fact, I use them alot more in humour than anger.
Nevertheless, I agree that is duck and chicken talk. I joke and suan, u think I'm angry. So funnie. Maybe, u should stay around longer to notice many of us suaning each other quite abit. One should differentiate between humour and fire?
I simply pointed out the incorrect claims which u pretended and avoided answering to them. And so, I gave up trying to talk sense with you since 8.44pm on wed.
u and powderful went on and out of no where u went on to say I'm full of fire.
That's so funnie loh. Instead of anger, I'm laughing with amusement. Its truly surprised rather angry really. My bad that I'm pretty sarcastic about that. In fact, I use them alot more in humour than anger.
Nevertheless, I agree that is duck and chicken talk. I joke and suan, u think I'm angry. So funnie. Maybe, u should stay around longer to notice many of us suaning each other quite abit. One should differentiate between humour and fire?
