Any Mixed Marriages here? Esp Chinese-Malay Muslim couple

Hey marnie :

I don't mind shipped together, as long can reach London hahahaha Going economy only mean suffering a bit, but anyway u stil arrive same destination and same time as those sitting on business class. Going economy, you're saving the $$$ and then you can spend more on shopping!!! HAHAHA

Hi gals, I've just attended marriage guidance course (express) today ... At first I kept on thinking that it's gonna be a boring and I'll fall asleep for sure. However, I think the course is very informative and not boring at all. I did feel sleepy but that is because I didn't get enough sleep and the course starts at 9.30am (too early for me kekekke). Feel like i gain more knowledge after the course hehehe.
 


Good for you that you completed your course, Ipz. I took the express one myself. It was really good and informative. Didn't feel sleepy at all (well, not when it started raining that day!
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You are so right about the economy class v business/first class. It gets to the same destination. The money can be used to do my shopping. It's so shiok to have something tangible after enduring a 15 hr flight.
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Sheeesh...my hubby is probably shaking his head reading this!
 
Hello peeps .. wondering how everyone is doing .. this thread seems to have gone all quiet for the last few weeks.

Sofi is doing well .. she is now 8.5 months and quite a handful since she's learnt to crawl ..

Here she is, pretending to be shy ..

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Eh eh........Sofi is soooooo super cute! Cuclainne, before you know it, you need to start interviewing candidates who have expressed interest in her....!
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Idyll, i don't want to think that far yet .. let me enjoy this time before she grows up and THAT happens .. hahahahaha ..

how's your travels coming along?
 
That is so true Cuclainne! Babies grow up so fast! My nephews and nieces are all growing up too quickly! Grrr...

I'm slowing down on my travels. I think this old body cannot take it lah. Hahahaha. Apart from KL, the only other trip before the Europe trip in October, will be to Koh Samui next month. Meraj got a free stay at a hotel there so might as well make use of it. Then no more travels until end of the year when we're attending a wedding in Bangladesh.
 
Hey guys!

I too am getting married to the lady of my life, who is a malay muslim. I'm a chinese guy by the way. Convertion is already sorta in process.

I have several questions to ask... But i guess one can answer little on such short notice. I'm concerned of the chinese cultures that have to be altered.

Below are few points i'm stuck with:
1) Incense burning to my elders
2) The whole chinese wedding ceremony get up
3) Bringing in my Confucian, Yin-Yang or Feng-Shui trinkets into my new home

Thanks in advanced for the advices that will be given.
 
Marnie, wedding in Bangladesh sounds like fun .. relatives of Meraj? my wedding photographer went to bangladesh for two weeks for his friend's wedding and he was describing the experience to us .. sounds like massive fun!

Keny, i'm sorry but i don't know how to help you ..
 
Haloooos ppl! It's been a long long time since i've been here.

Seems that there's quite a no. of newbies ah! heehee

I'm so glad that this thread is still active & alive! ahahaaa..i'm trying to find chance & time to resize & choose my wedding photos then once they're uploaded i'll let u guys know k! Hehee...

Hey Keny -
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to the club! Heehee...

With rgds to ur qtns, i think:

1) Incense burning is not allowed in Islam (i consulted my Ustad on this at Darul Arqam la) - cos it's considered worshipping..

2) I dun really understand ur 2nd qtn leh. Chinese Ceremony get-up meaning?

3) My own beliefs are - confucian, Yin-yang & Feng Shui stuff are considered as cultures, not religion. You can have ur home be as Ching Chong as u are/like but u're still a Muslim mah. So no worries. Hehe..my point of view on this la. Heheee...just take reference from the Chinese Muslims in China
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Cuclainne: OMG! Ur babieee is gonna be such a HOTTT babe!!!
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Hey Marnie, yea we shld arrange to meet up again leh! It's been a longg longg time since we last met! Haahaa...

My wedding photos(Studio) will only be done in mid-Sept though...LOL. If not can show to u guys...Hahaaa
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shameless me
 
hi guys...
any ideas on where to get a hall for nikah that seats abt 400 ppl?

aiyo.. i thot nikah should b a small family thing right? haii headache la.. parents always saying if dont invite this person that person then how?

anyways...

if near woodlands/admiralty would be great..

Am Sporean but currently in New Zealand finishing uni.. FH is in Sg.. he's been doing most of the running around. feeling so useless!!

any suggestions, adivce, ideas would be very much appreciated.

thanks in advance!
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wow ami, that is a lot of guests you are inviting to your nikah .. mine had 40 relatives and my sanding had 1500 guests - maybe you can try CC?
 
yah CC can sit about that many ppl... thats a lot of ppl..

i am still having headache for our nikah this nov... coz HTB is chinese..
 
thanks cuclainne & Yanee

i agree it is alot of ppl.. i would have thought around 50 max
haii.. maybe i'm confusing the actual nikah with the lunch afterwards?

please excuse my ignorance.. the last time i attended a wedding was when i was 10.. eee.. and i've been in NZ for quite awhile now so havent been exposed much lol..

parents are quite caught up in their own probs so i dont wanna trouble them.. FH and i are doing most of the planning..

is it true that for the nikah the girl's side does everything?
 
if it was up to my husband, he would have wanted less people to attend the nikah .. he wanted me to keep it down to 30 but my parents were like, cannot.. must invite this person, that person .. so in the end we had 40 which was not too bad.

yah, i think you might be confusing it with the sanding which is the lunch ..

i don't know how true that is but me and my family did most of the planning cos my husband is a foreigner and has no clues as to what to do.
 
hehe.. i just checked with my parents and ya i was confusing it with the sanding..

PHEW.. huge relief..

But still gotta find a place for the lunch.. CC is a good idea.. i think tts what FH has in mind too.

hmmm.. i'm gg down to Sg in dec for 10 days.. cos need to do the wedding course and dont wanna leave it to the last min since there are limited English ones.

i was just wondering what i could do in the 10 days that i am down.. like should i look for a gown while im there? i'm thinking of renting one.
my AD is on the 5th July 08 God Willing.

hai i just wanna spend as much time as i can with my darling when i'm there.. miss him la
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cuclainne, ur hubby is a foreigner? where is he from? btw, saw ur baby's pic.. she's adorable..!
 
ami: maybe you can delegate the task of choosing the CC to your family - that way they can go to see the place and decide if it's right .. i'm not sure how far in advance you will need to book the hall but better to do it quickly than to lose out on the date you wanted because it wasn't done soon enough yah ..

i did the express marriage prep course (4 hours) somewhere near golden landmark (bugis). you will need to register for the class cos like you said, there are limited english ones. perhaps you can register now cos dec is not too far away ..

i rented my costumes - you can check out urusanpengantin.com for the bridal shops. maybe you can do a shortlist of your favourites and then make appointments to make a visit when you're back to have a look at their collection and a feel of their service. you can bring your darling along with you - it shouldn't take more than a day
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after all, he needs to be fitted too ..

yes, he is a foreigner - from stockholm, sweden .. thanks - sofi is such a handful now that she has perfected the art of crawling .. argh!
 
hey guys just a quick update on what's been happening with me..

cuclainne, like u suggested, i've given the responisibility of getting a CC to my uncle&aunty, FH is helping too. he's already doing most of it dont wanna give him too much. poor guy is studying & working so he's got alot on his plate...

so far they've looked at Woodlands CC but apparently that might be going for renovation around the time of my nikah and anyways they dont take bookings til 6 mths prior to the event. we'll still keep scouting around

i checked out urusanpengantin.com since i dont understand much Malay it took awhile for me to figure some stuff out.. but thanks for the link. it did help
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hope everyone else is doing great
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Yikes, its been such a long time since I've posted here. I'm kind of embarrassed that I'm not in here as much as I should be.

Cuclainne : Sofi is growing up to be such a beautiful little lady
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emilia jo : Thanks for the links
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Looks very helpful!

Been flipping through a bridal magazine and that overwhelming feeling keeps starting, every time I try to start planning.

Argh!
 
Hi all,
Hope everyone is well!

Many months ago, I came in here looking for ideas for my wedding. i got great advice and ideas and I thought at the time it would be useful if ppl who had already gotten married to come back to the forum to which they looked to for help, to share their experience AFTER everything had happened. It's great that some do, like Marnie and Cuclainne for instance (whom i've never had the good opprtunity to meet but thanks for the good advice back then!).

So anyway, I got married, wedding's over and done with (last Oct) and now i'm living in London with the husband. Here's a link of my wedding photos for your interest and anybody wanna pick my brain, pls feel free! Here's me giving back..hahah

http://family.webshots.com/slideshow/562221750gaYcPB

We had the nikah held at Bishan Mosque, a dinner held at a hotel the same night, and two traditional malay receptions the next day. I had a gown made to order for myself and kept it, we found him a suit also to keep, and we rented our malay outfits. We had no probs with any of our vendors, everything was up to scratch, the entertainment was without a doubt of high standard and the food was awesome (and this coming from a very fussy bride n groom). We also of course had an incredible team of friends running the show according to my husband's minutely detailed programme those two days, so without them it would have been absolute chaos. So peace of mind in all aspects..
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Many initial ideas didn't go to plan due to exasperating vendors or sheer fate, but it was all a blessing in the end. Many things happen for a reason and we can only appreciate this on hindsight, so in the meantime, brides, just breathe, and on the day, let go n enjoy! it goes by so fast.. :D
 
ooh forgot, my husband's uncle posted up a short 46sec video of the lovely musical ensemble, Sri Mahligai, whom we had at our dinner (and the next day at his family's recep but not shown in this vid). We also had a very very good dance/kompang troupe (Sri Wana) come in but i haven't finished editing the video for that, so tht will have to come later. I personally can't stand the kompang groups who come in mismatched outfits and sullen faces, like c'mon where's the joy n professionalism! But these guys were seriously, top-notch! love them!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxQc9ITCrz0
 
suhfyera: hey - glad to hear that everything went smoothly at your event. your photos were lovely .. thanks for sharing the pics with us. how are you coping with london - you working there now? i'm still in sg - gave birth to my second daughter in jan 08 ..
 
Hi Suhfyera, happy that your wedding went smoothly - you both look happy and good together.

Are you settling well in London? We may be neighbours soon. I applied for school in Cambridge - awaiting for results in April. Also got 2 job offers in connection with school. Still deliberating. But London is an exciting city - whereabouts in London are you? I've booked my flights to London in May. If you need anything from here, feel free to let me know.
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Hi Cuclainne, I've been busy as usual. How are you coping with 2 girls in the family? Girl power eh?
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I've been busy as usual at work - nothing new in that department. Got my rubella jab last week and got insurance to cover maternity costs and complications etc (I'm paranoid lah...lol) so we can finally start planning to expand the family. Also want to try taking driving lessons before we move out of Singapore permanently - cheaper to do it here.
 
hahahah .. yes, that is right .. Elias has found himself outnumbered by us girls in the family .. not that he mind, of course..
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re: driving lessons, he has been pushing me to get one of my own so i can drive the kids around instead of relying on him as the driver .. but no time .. argh ..

so this move is a permanent one?
 
Cuclainne, yeah....I figured I better start learning asap cos' if I get into school in Cambridge, I am going to be commuting a some point from London, I think. And then there's the eventual move to OZ in the next few years. We can get by with city living in Sydney (though I am not for it) but if we decide to get into Melbourne, we definitely need a car and I need to learn how to drive. Better get used to drving in this part first then starting out new in a new environment.

I'm not sure yet whether it's permanent, but, most likely it will be with regular visits home to Singapore. My mom has already sold off her flat and got a much smaller one so that they can get a house in JB to retire to, so it's good timing now, I suppose.
 
wish you all the best for the move!
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what about your home - you going to sell or rent out? my FIL went to desaru last year and came back with a property pamphlet for us .. we're now trying to get him to buy instead so he can retire here instead .. heheheh ..
 
Thanks Cuclainne.

As strange as it sounds, we're going to sell early next year, the current home we're in, to our neighbour (their son is living in their house with a 20 month old -- 6 adults altogether!) and we're getting a new and bigger one somewhere nearer to town, which can then be our "holiday" home when we return. That's the plan anyway, I haven't officially spoken with my neighbour about it though I know she really wanted to by our flat when the previous owner wanted to sell (they didn't know then).

It makes home hunting so much easier with Meraj being a PR now so we have an unlimited choice so to speak.

Hey...Desaru home sounds soo summer holiday!
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i was talking to elias the other day about how nice it would be to get a jumbo flat but there's no point cos it's just the 4 of us and it'll be more difficult to sell off .. oh well. elias reckons we should rent a landed property the next time to let the kids have space to run around .. guess we'll have to see how the property market is when that time comes.

oh yah, meraj got his pr ah .. and elias is still sitting on his application ..

hahahaha .. yes it does huh ..
 
How many bedrooms does a Jumbo flat come with? I know that when we were on the hunt, there were lots of people on the hunt for Jumbo flats so usually, when there was one in the market, it was snapped up pretty fast.

Rental and purchase properties are stabilising at the moment. The prices are still crazy, in my opinion but at least, it's stable. I hope that by the time we go on our active look-out, the prices will go down. I think they will go down, just very slowly. There’s hope yet!

meraj’s application is expedited courtesy of moi! I completed the forms and just put “post it†notes at the places where he needed to sign. It makes it so much easier for the man to bring it to ICA with his photos! He jokes these days that he has a personal at home secretary…aiye….
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i think it's between 5-6 bedrooms .. one of my dad's friend had one but had difficulty selling it off. i suppose nowadays a lot of people value the space.

yah, we moved last oct cos the landlady raised our rent by 1K and we decided to look for something with another bedroom for the kids .. thankfully we managed to find one with a reasonable rent and fairly close to my family's home so they can easily come over to assist me when i'm going crazy with the kids! hahaha ..

i completed the forms for elias too but he was supposed to get some supporting documents from sweden - till now, he hasn't done anything about it yet - sigh .. what would they do without us huh?
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Wow! That's a HUGE flat...you can have a few generations living under the same roof.

Ahh..Elias still procrastinating ah...Meraj would be the same had I not told him that I will not move on my paperwork for the OZ PR if his is not moving...hahaha.... --> terrible me I know!

So now, serve me right, got to start moving on the PR for OZ. I have been putting in a folder all the plane tickets, holiday snapshots etc to prove to the OZ govt that our “love and binding relationship†is the real deal.
 
yeah .. one large family staying together .. must have good relations or else .. hehehe ..

oh yes, i basically got that from the swedish embassy previously when i enquired about resident permit (this was before we got married) and subsequently as well, even though we've had sofi by then. i sure hope that with two kids, they better not insinuate any more that my marriage is not the real deal!
 
*sigh* One step at a time, I suppose.

I'm thankful that that we have friends over in Australia already who are willing to be our "witnesses" and give their statutory declarations in support of our application. If not, I think our application will be further delayed.
 
Hi there,

First timer posting here..

Am a malay girl getting married soon to my bf, a japanese guy. He's going for classes alhamdulillah.

so anyway, now i'm stuck in a rut.
On mak andam services and all..
Is Anggun Andaman good?
Or are there any others which are better?

Thanks in advance!!
 
Hi ayu, congrats on your impending marriage. And syukur alhamdulillah re. your fiance's conversion classes.

I love the lacey stuff which Anggun Andaman have in store...I'm not too sure about the services though. Why don't you make an appointment with them to have a feel for their works and their services? My wedding was almost 2 years ago so I am totally lost on what's hot or not in the current malay wedding business.
 
wow Cuclainne, you have a second daughter! tht's lovely!! :D congratulations..!

n hi Marnie, awesome, you're coming to england!! thanks for the offer of bringing stuff up for me ;)

London's a very old and amazing city...they're v cultured but at the same time can b cold, i think it stems from their observance of class... but that said, there are plenty of friendly ppl as well, and u can get most anything here...!

we're settling in nicely though we still occasionally get pangs of acute homesickness tht i'm sure will pass with time..
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and cuclainne, i'm not working! hahah... ;)
so if marnie, u need help finding things, lemme know, my email:
[email protected]
 
Suhfyera, thanks for the offer, I may just take up on it. Though I suspect we'll be fine - Hubs spent his growing up years there before moving to Australia and we've made our annual trips back since marriage so I have been fine moving around and I feel comfortable on my own. Even went for interviews on my own with public transportation from North London to Clerkenwell etc.

So what have you been up to there not working?

Ps. Did I hear correctly that it snowed there a couple of days ago?!
 
Hi gals,

I'm new to Sgbride actually. And Cuclainne (thanks gal) invited me to this thread from another one that I started. Is this thread still active?

I'm a malay getting married in 2009 to an indian muslim. I'm currently deciding on a mak andam (Chinta/RH/Anggun) however I'm having second thoughts on enagaging the malay bridal shop to do my make up.Malay mak andam tends to pile on the make up on the brides. I feel like I should get a make up artist instead. The fees are higher and I have to worry about renting the baju/wedding gown tho. Any comments ladies?
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hi riza .. i think nowadays a lot of the mak andam do not go for that heavy make-up look because they know it's not fashionable now. have you gone down to any of the mak andam to check it out?
 
Cuclainne, I checked out the leading ones and i shortlisted Chinta & Anggun. Have not gone to RH. I still find the make up too thick tho. I'm starting to wonder if its just me :p

Anyone asked for trial make up before signing with the mak andam?

Btw Cuclainne, your daughter is just too cute!!
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my cousin took RH for her wedding in 2006 - i think the make-up done was not so nice. but maybe you might get a different mak andam so who knows?
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i think you should be able to get a trial make-up, if you asked. have you only shortlisted these three bridal stores?

thanks for the compliments .. sitting here on the terrace, freezing even though i have a sweater on .. brrr....
 
hello! not sure if there is anyone who's still lingering on this thread. i've been lingering here the past couple of weeks, reading thru all your old posts. im new to this forum. new to this whole wedding thing.

i'm of a rojak descendent supposedly to be getting married to a chinese guy in dec 08. both families are agreeable to the union(of cos mine is if he's converting). problem is we havent planned the wedding yet. its not that we don't want to but he still havent decide if he wants to convert yet. we've been thru the beginners course in islam. he's doing he's readings and research but he's still not sure.

then y rush in the marriage? you may wonder. here's another problem, we already purchased a flat, got our keys and doing reno now. so we need to produce our marriage cert asap.

i'm not keen into presurring him to convert so i let him take his time. but time's running out now and im getting abit concern. i'm not excited abt the wedding preps so i havent done any. i mean, y bother preparing for a wedding when u are not sure if its going to happen or not right?

i just want to understand what he's going thru right now. maybe if i can understand better, im able to help him out. If you have been in a similar situation, be it in mine or in his shoes, i will appreciate any advice u can give.
 
hello hellbride
i am not an expert in conversion etc etc..
if he want to convert, then need to finish the course also wun take that fast.

the flat, and the ROM cert, you can write a defer letter to HDB. my neighbour took key in september last year and till now still no plans to ROM as they not decided to ROM separate with AD ( chinese customery wedding).

if really cannot defer, i suggest go for ROM under civil marriage not Registery of muslim marriage.

if you are not demanding kind or want a grand wedding, can do a nice reception at your lovenest cum ROM there.

then if your future in law, want banquet, can slowly plan. because if you wan to book hotel/restauarnt now is rather impossible, unless got people transfer to you.

hope this helps. =D
 
Hi all,

I have a good friend who just converted a month ago. Initially she was touched by the conversion and all but I guess her non-Muslim friends are starting to tease her.

Now she says things like "I don't want to be sooo Muslim", "My children are not gonna take Malay as 2nd language" etc. I feel helpless..what can I do to help her love the religion?

I have been following the thread "silently" and I'm happy to read bout some of you peeps frm being single to getting married to having children..like Huichin, marnie (from the other thread, hope I get the info correct)etc..=)

Thanks in advance gals!=)
 


hi. just wanted to let you know that i too have a good friend who converted to islam years ago. even after her divorce, she still kept to the religion.

not letting her kids take malay as a second language does not mean that she doesn't love the religion .. have you talked to her lately?
 
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