CharsiewRice,
I had it at Hilton hotel. It's a lifetime to remember..i agree. Charsiew, the norm is that the guy side will give the dowry. Usually, it's up to the girl's parents whether they want to take the money or use it to spend for the wedding or give to the daughter. Then, they will exchange gifts btwn families. It's NOT a norm for MIL to buy jewellery for the daughter. However, it's a NORM for either an elder person usually grandmother(seldom MIL)or the eldest aunt to put the ring on the daughter's finger. Usually that happens ONLY during engagment. On wedding day, it is the husband.
For that special couple, i guess the MIL just wanted to do something special. Becoz culturally, they don't have such thing as tea ceremony. And that means, they don't have to do it. So now i hope with my explanation, you can get over the bitterness already.
About the name, i also had fair arguements. My parents couldn't accept my baby to have chinese name also. They stated all the reasons why and me & hubby realize that the reasons were justifiable enough. I mean...after all that happen. They were justifiable. So, we only retain my hubby's chinese surname. After all, coz we think of the future that next time my son's IC, his race will be chinese due to the law. So, if don't put the chinese surname, it will be a bit funny. My parents also agreed to that. They are rational ppl. Can say that... Even then, we use that as the middle name. I think you better don't show your in-laws your daughter's BC! If not, sure kena nagged left & right!
Ladies,
I think it's up to individual's luck whether to get an in-laws who like you and can treasure you like their own daughter. Actually i think whether you marry of the same race or different, it's the same. Hmm.... truthfully speaking, i also didn't get anything from those old ppl during my wedding day. In fact, it's quite a day to remember coz they rejected the tea during the tea ceremony in front of all the relatives. Seriously, i haven't see those old ppl since my wedding day. And neither have they seen my baby son also. But i told my hubby it's up to him to see his parents but don't bring my son along. Coz, after all, his dad once said, they don't consider us married. That's why even though they already know i've given birth, they don't want to see + they already inform all the relatives that we're not married according to them. Oh by the way, my hubby is the eldest son & eldest grandson in the family. I know to chinese that is very important. I already gave in as much as i can during the wedding. But since, they still can't accept it, there's nothing much i could do. I take that as a positive view that since they don't welcome me to the family, then i have nothing to do with them. So, they're strangers to me. Nothing related. When my baby son grow older, we will tell them what happen. That is one explanation both of us have already prepared...
So ladies, life's like that.
Huichin,
You're so lucky to be married to a good family. Make sure you treasure. This kind of thing is very hard to come by. Not all girls can marry the man they love that comes with a good family who treasures you as well.
