Advice needed: To live or not to live

H

hong_zhong

New Member
dear all,

i have a close friend who called me recently to borrow some money as he is in credit card debts...
he told me his life is ruined and he is already thinking of ending his life ... he is only 29 this year...

i think he is owing around 25k and his monthly salary is only 2k plus...

anyone can advise on how can i console him before anything happens?
 


hi,

25k is seriously not a hugh sum of money to even worth cutting your skin, not to say die. The worst case secenario is getting a lawyer letter from the bank and then work out an istalment scheme with them, but of course the lawyer fee, interest, etc will be part of his repayment.

Not worth for your friend to pay his life with it...
 
thanks anticipate ..

i did told him that but according to him, his life is badly damaged and he also couldn't possibly get married and his parents are also dependant on him...the stress is piling on him and he has tried to get loans from all friends but to no avail...

he is looking for kind souls who can loan him 25k to clear off the debts so that he will pay back one party every month instead of a few..

he is also worried that he might go bankrupt..

i'm worried that he might do something silly these few days ...
 
hmm... alternatively, he might want to go down to the bank and try negotiating with them? Tell them that he's really unable to pay but happy to work out some sort of instalment with them. But would probably save some $ incurred from legal, admin fees.. No harm in trying to ask...

The other method is carrying on paying the minimum sum + some additional, slowly clearing off the debts.

I think it's difficult to find someone to loan 25k at one shot, esp in this current market condition. Everyone probably worried if they'll have a job tomorrow and reserving their cash for 'just in case'.

Wouldn't go bankrupt yet I think, they lawyer letter will come first and negotiate with the bank. And do keep an eye on him, NOT TO GO to a loanshark...
 
i just called him...
he said he failed to pay the minimum sum for both banks this month and the banks are already taking action on him...

he is in a loss now ... i can't help him much
he keep asking me which method to die is easier ..

haiz..
 
Aiyoo... does he think that dying can resolve the problem?

Can he go talk to the bank and see if he can work out something with them?

Quite difficult situation since he seems so despair now... and everything is dependent on him. Can he take up another job and earn some extra cash?

I'm sure there's some suggestions and he might want to go to the Credit Counselling Service suggested by doLL as they should be the professional to deal with such case.

But on your part, have to keep a close watch that he don't do anything silly.
 
pick up the phone, call him and fark him nicely...

25k = 2k x 12 mths or 1k x 24mths or $500 x 48mths...

not taking to account interest, But 4yrs and he's ok liao. in the meantime just work harder to increase income...

i had a 40k debt and my salary was 1.2k, then 1.5k... took me like 4yrs but i still got out of it. it just takes time... be a man to face the consequences of having overspent and give yourself time... it'll be over before u know it. Life isn't bad at all, it's bad becos we screwed it up... and we can always Rectify the faults n problems...

it looks tough now becos it's over 10times of what he earns, but then it's not insurmountable.

but honestly it's really weak to be thinking of suicide over 25k...
 
hi powder thanks for your advice ..
then does he needs to declare bankrupt?

cos he already failed to pay the bank for 2 months

did u declare bankrupt in your case ?
 
Hi Hong Zhong,

Honestly, its only 25K in the picture, not 250k.

Please tell your friend to work it out with the bank. 25k is not really a big sum to work off. And for the moment, delay the wedding plans if any.

Your friend might be in slight depression now. Do spend some time with him and also let him know his parents still need him.
 
Frankly, your friend have a serious issue. Its not the debt but his mentality of wanting a way out.

Its only 25k for goodness sake! Instead of helping him out financially, what he really needs is a wake up call.

He is worried about his parents dependent on him and yet he wants to kill himself. Come on, that's completely ironic. IF he really thinks about his parents, killing himself will not be an option.

Credit card interests are very high. He should be looking for personal loans offering lower interests to clear off these debt first. Don't sit there, lament and feel sorry for himself. All the thoughts of killing himself... what a lame guy. Dwelling in self pity and doing NOTHING about it.
 
Hong Zhong, for 25k it's not very wise to be declared a bankrupt... trust me in another 10yrs - it's small money and u'll feel stupid if u did that. some of the forummers here have already suggested working out a plan with the banks... that's something quite normal and viable... my fren owed like 80k from his study loans... took him 7yrs but he still went thru it. his parents are super old and retired, he also started 1.5k like me and he's making abt 10k now... so seriously, it's not something u kill yourself over... What abt his parents??? he has the youth and time to get over and get ahead of things... why should he be giving up so easily?

do talk to him but be firm.
 
ps: i was on the verge of bankruptcy but some changes in bankruptcy laws back around jun 1999 (if i rem correctly) actually saved me. anyway i was already talking to the bank that loaned me abt paying in the instalments... i cleared my debts in feb2003. i started at 1.2k, faithfully paid my instalments til i have climbed to abt 3.3k... just need Patience and curb spending. Life is wonderful, nobody should end it... it's in our hands...
 
I'm wondering if all these are real. New poster writing 3 new threads at the same timing over unrelated stuffs all seemingly trying to trigger responses.

He is :-
1) Analysing attractiveness of department directors
2) Fearing the death of a really lame friend
3) Start idiotic poll over rubbish.

Go figure that out.
 
milo...
i think u have a tired day already
better go home and have some rest..
dun think too much ....
if stressful...get a dog to play around
:P
 
can i help to name some more ?

erm

1) Janice
2) Vios
3) Habe
4) Doll

Pick one from list
or should i start another thread on them?
hahahs
 
HI Anticipate,

I called up my friend again to check on his situation... he said that he already received letter of demand from both banks..he has also tried calling both banks to ask for installment plans but is hard to get them..

meanwhile, there are some calls from borrowers (his friends) pressing him for payment...he told me he's going to see a doctor later cos the pressure is killing him..

haiz..
sad case
 
In any case, it's not worth to get his whole life ruined/destoryed because of 25k.

Probably best to see a doc and they will give professional advise on how best he can go through this and be strong about it
 
Hi Hong Zhong,

Just curious.

Why are you doing such polls?

a) doing research for projects
b) really just curious
c) others (please state)
 
people who asked for ways to kill themselves will not have the courage to do so. there must be a rule that says if you don't know how to google, you are not allowed to commit suicide. nor to have a credit card. nor to live. nor to die. nor to anything.
 
25K come on...its not worth to kill oneself. Becos of 25K start to think of killing oneself, how is he going to face greater challenges later in life.

Please fark him for us. Go talk to the bank and make an arrangement to pay instalments. Remember, show the bank that he is sincere to pay and would like to work out something with them. And like all of us here, don't even think of going to loan sharks or doing something ridiculous like selling kidney.

The banks act difficult to reach - thats natural, what debts did he owe? Credit card debts? First be thankful he still have a job, pay off whatever he can every month - this action shows that he is able to pay and willing to pay.

its not in the interest for the banks to force him to die and his debt becomes dead debt - and have to be written off. I am sure the banks are willing to work something out.

then for god sake, downgrade his lifestyle where possible - if got car, sell car, got condo sell condo. Just live within one's means. He will be able to pay off for sure - don't look for easy way out to try to loan from someone...is he tinking of borrowing from friend like even if he don't pay, friend unlikely to do anything?

29 years old is farking young to kill himself loh...his parents will be devastated.,
 
hi all....
why are you still replying to him when you should have realized by now what a troublemaker he is. His stories are only to trying to stir up more responses. Its not even real!
 
aiya. $25K only.

i know of ppl who owe banks more than $100K.
they also nv jump.
just call up teh bank, provide documents. Agree to pay a sum of money per month loh.

but really, it's more like keep paying the INTEREST only. sigh.
the principal sum is like NEVER being paid like that.

that's why i ALWAYS advice ppl if you can't pay ON TIME, then Don't use a credit card
 
hmm cant he treat it like it is a newly fresh grad with tuition fee loan to return and scramp more to pay off his debts? it may take perhaps approx 3 yrs but it is better then to continue to run away from reality. he needs to reflect how he amounted so much debt with his credit cards? did he overspend? is it possible for him to sell off items he have bought etc. i agree with sotong=> if u cant pay on time then dun use crdit card, it can be bad habit to use too much.
 
Hong Zhong, receiving a letter of demand is rather common for debtors who failed to fulfil their promise of payment for 2 months. A letter of demand is a letter of warning that futher legal actions will be taken if he continues to default payment. I believe the staffs of the banks had actually called your friend before they passed the case to a law firm, which I also believe that your friend either didn't come up with any concrete instalment plans or break his promise time and again. Inform your friend that dying is never a good soln, pick up the phone and get in touch with either the bank or law firm and negotiate an instalment plan with them. Inform your friend that he has to keep his promise to make payment to the banks before further legal actions might be taken against him.
 
To TS

I think your frd indeed is a very lousy guy who grew up with very little self worth, let alone be a man.

Getting him bankrupt is really not worth the debtors choice if he is indeed "MAN ENOUGH" to work out a re-payment scheme with his debtors.

If he prefers the easy way out for himself then it's better for the debtors to make him a bankrupt lah,,serves him right too and a required lesson to learn in life..
 
hi folks,
thread have been inactive for some months liao. Not sure if TS really need help now!

I wasn't even sure if he needed help then. He was a trouble-maker writing all kinds of stuffs to trig responses.

======================
Take note over what I wrote on
on Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 5:54 pm:
I'm wondering if all these are real. New poster writing 3 new threads at the same timing over unrelated stuffs all seemingly trying to trigger responses.

He is :-
1) Analysing attractiveness of department directors
2) Fearing the death of a really lame friend
3) Start idiotic poll over rubbish.

Go figure that out.
 
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