Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

August 2023

8 Ways You’re Annoying Your Bridesmaids Without Even Realising It

Are you upsetting your bridesmaids without even knowing?

Your wedding day is a joyous celebration, and your bridesmaids are an essential part of the magical experience. These close friends and family members stand by your side as you embark on this new chapter, sharing in your happiness and supporting you every step of the way. To make sure this journey is full of smiles and cherished memories, you want to avoid making these faux pas. From not setting clear expectations to dictating their looks, mishandling communication, and more, these 8 things could really annoy your bridesmaids and mar your time together.

1. Not Setting Clear Expectations

Remember, your bridesmaids are your friends and family before they’re your wedding support team. Treating them with respect and consideration will set the tone for a memorable wedding experience. It’s essential to establish clear expectations upfront to ensure a smooth ride and minimise misunderstandings. How many bridesmaids have happily said Yes! only to resent their bride when they realise how many WhatsApp groups, gown fittings, hen parties, girls’ nights out, and bridal shower craft workshops they have to attend, not to mention that they’re also expected to work as emcees, stylists, florists, chauffeurs, and reception registrants, for free?

Reversing the usual order of events can help. Before inviting your bridesmaids to be part of your bridal party, define your expectations, the costs involved, and time and other commitments. This proactive approach eliminates resentment, drama, and last-minute changes.

2. Disorganised Communication

Your bridesmaids lead busy lives, juggling work, relationships, and personal commitments. Make communication effortless by designating one consistent communication channel. Whether it’s an email chain, a group DM thread, or a shared Google doc, this ensures that updates and information reach everyone without disrupting their routines. Keep your bridesmaids informed about important dates, schedules, and expectations. Clear communication helps them plan their commitments and responsibilities effectively. No one wants to be left in the dark for months, only to be flooded with notifications on 12 different chat groups the week before the wedding. Having a consistent line of communication will help ensure they won’t feel overwhelmed or pressured by their role and can truly enjoy being part of your special day.

3. Unrealistic Expectations

Remember that, although they’re incredibly happy for you, you’re the one getting married, not them. They have their own lives, so don’t expect them to be available 24/7 for wedding-related tasks.You also shouldn’t expect them to be able to jump on a call whenever you have a random thought, or berate them for not responding to a message within 20 seconds. Your bridesmaids shouldn’t feel like they took on another full-time job in addition to their already full plates.

Lydia and Gary’s Bright and Beautiful Spring Wedding at 1-Atico by Lydia K Photography and Stories with Ryan

4. Being Inconsiderate of Financial Limitations

Recognise that your bridesmaids have varying financial capacities. You can’t force someone to buy a specific dress, hire a hair and makeup artist, or fly to Bali for a girls’ weekend just because you named them your bridesmaid. Understand that one person may be able to or want to spend $100 and another $0 on an item, and both are perfectly entitled to do so. To foster inclusivity and prevent discomfort, address financial aspects thoughtfully. Instead of imposing specific financial demands, approach bridesmaid requests with flexibility, and don’t put pressure on anyone to participate in auxiliary events like hen parties or bridal brunches. Try to give options for outfits and accessories, or if you’re set on a specific look, then allocate your wedding budget to cover the costs.

5. Obsessing over a Uniformed Look

Your bridesmaids come from diverse backgrounds with unique styles and preferences. One might not feel confident wearing a form-fitting maxi and another might look washed out in the burnt orange shade of your wedding palette. When it comes to attire, inclusivity is key. Involve bridesmaids in the dress selection process to empower them.

Instead of telling everyone to wear a particular dress, you can opt for a colour, pattern, or fabric, and empower your bridesmaids to find a style that resonates with them. This also applies to accessories such as shoes or jewellery, and hair and makeup. Don’t force everyone to have the same curled locks and matching headpiece, or insist everyone buy the same pair of heels. This approach celebrates their individuality and makes them feel valued, and it’s no wonder that the modern bridal party is less about matching dresses than about a cohesive look that allows each girl to look her best.

6. Going Over-the-Top for Your Hen’s Party or Bridal Shower

Dreaming of an unforgettable bachelorette? It’s wonderful to plan exciting activities, but remember that not everyone might be able to afford or attend them. For a balanced experience, plan optional activities that cater to various budgets, schedules, and comfort levels. If some of your girls aren’t comfortable with late night drinking, suggest a candle-making workshop or a high tea. If it’s difficult to coordinate schedules in a big group, consider celebrating in a few smaller events so you can spend meaningful time with each friend in a way they prefer.Consider footing the bill for attendees who might face financial constraints. This thoughtful gesture ensures that everyone can partake in the celebrations without unnecessary stress.

Michelle and Juen’s Heartwarming Wedding at 1-Arden by Leslie Photography

7. Inconsiderate Tasks

If you need help from your bridesmaids, ensure tasks are aligned with their strengths and preferences. Don’t ask someone who hates public speaking to be your emcee, or rope a busy mum of two into styling your whole ceremony. Try to turn wedding favour craft sessions into bonding experiences by laying out snacks or wine and chat while you hot-glue 200 DIY candle holders with flowers.

8. Not Showing Your Gratitude

The number one thing that will make your bridesmaids happy is feeling appreciated. Express your gratitude early and often with meaningful gifts that show you’ve thought about their preferences and needs. Choose practical and personal gifts that go beyond the wedding day, leaving your bridesmaids with a lasting memory of your special bond, and write a note to express the specific ways you’re thankful for their friendship and their help on your wedding day.

Your bridesmaids are more than just a supporting cast; they’re your cherished friends and family members. By navigating the journey with grace and thoughtfulness, you’ll create a wedding experience that’s filled with genuine smiles, heartfelt laughter, and memories to treasure for a lifetime.

Credits: Feature image from Sheena and Jing Wen’s Elegant Forest Wedding at Clifford Pier by Pixioo

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8 Ways You’re Annoying Your Bridesmaids Without Even Realising It