Singaporebrides | Relationships

May 2019

4 Ways a Wedding Can Ruin A Friendship and How to Avoid It

Don’t let a one-day event ruin a friendship that has stood the test of time!

Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life and will undoubtedly be a happy occasion. The months leading up to it, however, can be stressful—especially when it comes to decisions like choosing bridesmaids and picking out dresses.

Sometimes, the dynamic between the bride and her friends can become a little fraught. Head off tension and uncomfortable situations ahead of time by following this guide to maintaining your friendships through the wedding planning process.

1. Your friend hates her bridesmaid dress.

How to handle it: Choosing bridesmaid dresses can be a delicate matter. If you have friends with very different body types or skin tones, it can be difficult to choose a style that’s flattering for everyone. However, this is your wedding day and you will ultimately be the one making the decision. No matter what the dress looks like, your friend will only have to wear it for a few hours out of her life.

If your friend’s issue with her dress is more about cost rather than aesthetics, you might want to reconsider. See if you can find a similar dress at a lower price point, or shop around to see if your bridal shop can give you a discount code.

Michelle and Byron’s Beautiful and Elegant Wedding at The Ritz-Carlton, Millenia Singapore by Bobby Kiran Photography

2. Your friend is upset she wasn’t chosen as bridesmaid.

How to handle it: Choosing your bridesmaids can be a fun task, but not if you must leave someone out. No matter the reason – whether it’s financial or logistical – you do not have to feel guilty for whomever you choose to include in your wedding party. However, if you suspect your friend feels slighted by this, face the problem head on. Explain that while you would have loved to include every single one of your friends, it simply wasn’t a feasible option. Then reiterate how important your friendship is and include her in a different way. If she’s got an eye for design, ask for her opinion on flower arrangements. Does she love fashion? Bring her dress shopping—then treat her to lunch. She’ll feel appreciated, and any lingering annoyance should melt away.

3. You’re worried about everyone not getting along.

How to handle it: First, don’t panic! Everyone is coming together to celebrate you, so try not to worry about it too much. Try designating one of your more outgoing friends (or your maid of honor!) to act as a kind of emcee for the weekend. She can help make introductions so that you’re not stuck trying to facilitate conversations the whole time.

This is also a great time to use ice breakers and games. Sure, they might be a little cheesy, but they also get everyone involved in the party. Let your maid of honor know if you think this would be a good way to make everyone feel more comfortable.

Gayle and MarcGayle and Marc’s Bohemian Backyard Wedding at Wheelers Estate by Andri Tei Photography

4. Your wedding is becoming expensive—for the bridal party!

How to handle it: When it comes to your big day, it’s understandable that you want everything to be perfect. For some, that might mean an intimate engagement party, a sophisticated bridal shower, a wild bachelorette party, or all three! No matter what kind of wedding you’re planning, though, it’s likely you and your groom aren’t the only ones feeling some financial pressure.

Try to let your friends know as far ahead of time as you can what costs they’ll be responsible for, whether it’s a certain bridesmaid dress or a plane ticket to Bali. This will allow for them to budget money for your wedding must-haves. However, it’s important to be flexible for friends who are strapped for cash. If one of your girlfriends is unable to attend your destination hen party, be kind and understanding. Make it clear that you appreciate her being part of your wedding, regardless of her money situation. It doesn’t need to be the basis for every decision you make but do try to keep costs reasonable as best you can.

These are the women who will be by your side every step of the way, from the moment you get your engagement ring to the day you say “I do.” Moreover: you’ll want your girlfriends to continue to be part of your life long after you get married, so try not to let one day stand in the way of true friendship.

Kerri and GabrielKerri and Gabriel’s Romantic Solemnisation at Lewin Terrace by Said & Meant

Credits: Featured image from Caiyun and Terence’s Gorgeous Romantic Wedding at Montigo Resorts Nongsa by SVK Studio.

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Caiyun and Terence

4 Ways a Wedding Can Ruin A Friendship and How to Avoid It