Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

May 2022

8 Questions You Might Want To Ask As A Wedding Guest

If you’ve been a wedding guest before, then you might have thought of one or more of these questions at one point!

Being invited to a wedding is always an honour, so you should always strive to be a good guest to your hosts by making sure that you don’t commit any etiquette faux pas by mistake or accident, or cause any unnecessary awkward situations during the celebration. With only the wedding invitation as a guide, you may have questions about whether there is a dress code and if you need to follow it, or if you can bring a plus one, especially if you’re new to weddings or have only been to a handful.

But, don’t worry; we’re here to help you. We’ve put together eight common questions that go through a guest’s mind when they’re about to attend a wedding, to help you identify common concerns you may want to clarify with the couple.

1. Do I have to follow the dress code?

Serene and Louis’s Charming and Romantic Wedding at CHIJMES Hall Singapore by Natalie Wong Photography

While there is no right or wrong to this question, it is in your best interest to err on the safe side and follow the dress code given to you. Dress codes are given to you to help you dress appropriately for the venue and celebration. It gives you an idea of how formal or casual the wedding is going to be, or whether it is going to be indoors or outdoors. You definitely don’t want to be caught over or under dressed for the occasion, so do abide by the dress code stated on the invitation.

If there isn’t one, you can take clues from the wedding venue. If it is a hotel ballroom, then do put on something more dressy; if it is an outdoor or beach wedding, then do dress up in a breezy and casual outfit with the appropriate footwear. If you’re still not too sure about what to wear, you can always clarify with the couple directly. After all, no one would be in a better position to advise you than them.

For weddings with a themed dress code, try your best to pick an outfit that fits the theme. While your hosts would love for all their guests to come dressed in the theme they have set, it is understandable if you can’t. So, don’t worry if you are not able to dress in theme; just put on an outfit that is appropriate for a wedding celebration, and you’re set.

2. When do I need to send in my RSVP?

Jennifer and Peter’s Intimate Wedding in The Presidential Suite at InterContinental Singapore by Depth of Tales

As soon as possible! Don’t make the couple’s life difficult by sitting on your RSVP only to tell them that you’re not able to attend at the last minute or worse, forget to RSVP completely. Many decisions ride on the couple’s confirmed guest list, such as the seating plan, inviting other guests who are second or third tier to be invited, and so on. So the earlier you can confirm your attendance or absence, the better it is.

3. Can I bring a plus one or my kids if the invite doesn’t say so?

Amanda and Stephen’s Elegant Chinoiserie Wedding at The St. Regis Singapore by Andri Tei Photography

If your invitation doesn’t include any mention of a plus one or kids, then the likely answer to this question is “no”. Most couples have a limit for their guest list and may not be able to fit your plus one into the picture, especially if they do not know him or her at all. Some couples also may prefer having an adults-only wedding, which means kids will not be invited to the celebration. Whichever scenario it is, it is good guest etiquette to respect and comply with your hosts’ wishes. Don’t turn up on the day of the wedding with an extra guest or children in tow, and make things awkward for the couple.

If you really need or want to, do reach out to the couple in advance about whether you may bring a plus one or your children to the wedding. If they are able to fit them in, they will let you know. Otherwise, only you will be invited to the celebration.

4. Will transport be provided? Is parking free?

Sheena and Vivegan’s Stellar at 1-Altitude Wedding with Bold Florals by Thomas Tan Photography

Unless the wedding venue is located far away from any public transport or is hard to access by public transport, you can safely assume that transport will not be provided and you’ll need to make your own way to the venue. You can refer to the wedding invitation for directions to the venue or its address, and make your own transport arrangements to travel there.

If you are planning to drive to the wedding, do check with the couple in advance if free parking tickets will be given out to guests, and if there is a cap on the number of free parking tickets to be given out. You might also want to let the couple know that you’ll be driving so that they’ll keep one ticket for you. If there is no free parking, you can ask the couple if they are aware of what the parking charges are, so you can better plan your travel on the day itself. You might also want to check with the couple if the venue has sufficient parking lots on site and whether or not you’ll be required to park nearby instead.

5. Is the wedding venue wheelchair or stroller friendly?

Geraldine and Sheldon’s Elegant Solemnisation at VUE at OUE Bayfront by Not Pixelated

If you’re going with elders who need a wheelchair to get around or young children in strollers, you might want to check with the couple if the venue is wheelchair or stroller friendly. If it isn’t, you might want to check with them if there is a separate entrance for guests with a wheelchair or stroller in advance to prevent any delays on the day itself.

6. Will the solemnisation ceremony and wedding reception be indoors or outdoors?

Joanne and Russell’s Magical Horseback Wedding at Capella Singapore by Pixioo

Just like how the dress code guides you on what to wear to the wedding, knowing if the solemnisation ceremony and wedding reception will be held indoors or outdoors will give you more clues on what outfit or shoes to pick. For guests with children, this will be extremely helpful information, as this will help plan your children’s attire. If the entire wedding will be held outdoors, then you might want to dress yourself and your children in loose fitting and lightweight clothes. If it is held indoors, then you might want to wear something a little warmer or bring along a shawl or cardigan to keep warm.

7. Will there be any vegan/vegetarian/halal meal options?

Cindy and Stan’s Stunning Wedding at Changi Cove Hotel’s Command House by Ivan Seah Photography

Guests with a dietary restriction can reach out to the couple to find out if there will be meal options offered during the wedding. If so, do you have to let them know beforehand, so that they can inform the venue, or you’ll be making the choice on the day itself?

8. What is the schedule for the day?

Ming Tong and Daryl’s Honest and Raw Wedding with Gold Accents and Sustainable Elements at Botanico at The Garage by Bottled Groove Photography

It is always good for guests to know what’s on the wedding programme so that they can anticipate and better plan their time, especially if you have very young children whose nap or feeding time may coincide with the solemnisation ceremony or tea ceremony. So, feel free to ask the couple if they can briefly share what’s on the schedule for the wedding celebration, so you may plan your time for the day.

Credits: Feature Image from Paige and Wilson’s Quirky and Intimate Night Safari Solemnisation by Leslie Photography

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8 Questions You Might Want To Ask As A Wedding Guest