Singaporebrides | Relationships

January 2022

8 Relationship Resolutions for the New Year

By Tansey Tang

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Make this year your best year yet as a couple!

It’s a new year, filled with hope and possibility. As you make new year resolutions to be a better version of yourself, whether you aim to exercise more regularly, have greener practises, or become more frugal, why not take a moment to think about your relationship and set actionable goals to make it stronger and more loving this year? Being intentional about improving your communication, building trust, and upping the romance in your relationship can yield positive change to make your connection stronger, healthier, and more passionate. Here are some relationship resolutions you can make to strengthen your union in 2022. Make this year your best year yet as a couple!

1. Don’t Take Each Other for Granted

Remember how touched you were when he first sent you home? Or how loved you felt when she got you a bar of chocolate after a hard day at work? If it’s been a long time since you’ve been dating, you may have settled into a comfortable routine with your partner where you no longer notice the things about them or the things they do that used to give you butterflies. They may still be doing little things for you, like holding the door open, or giving you a shoulder massage when you’re tired, but you may be so used to them that you’re taking your partner for granted.

It’s great to reach a stage of being comfortable with your partner, but you shouldn’t take your partner for granted either. Don’t fall into the trap of plodding along without giving your relationship much thought. Appreciate your partner, take the time to notice and thank them for the little things they do, and you’ll find that your relationship takes on a more positive glow. Once you see them in a more positive light, you’ll naturally have happier feelings towards your partner, leading to a more satisfactory relationship.

2. Do Something New Together

Best-selling author Dr. Helen Fisher and neuroscientist Dr. Lucy Brown’sresearchled them to conclude that: “Doing challenging, exciting, new things with your partner has proven both in and out of the lab to be one of the single most effective ways of keeping the spark alive.” Regularly planning to do something new together, whether it’s discovering a new cafe, taking a baking course, or trying a new sport, sustains the romance in your relationship. While it might not sound romantic, research shows that your brain associates the excitement of the novel activity with your feelings for your partner when you do something new together, leaving you with higher feelings of satisfaction with your relationship. Make it a goal to try something new together this year to make your relationship happier!

3. Be Present

Have you ever been on a date where your partner is constantly looking at his or her phone? They don’t hear you when you make conversation, or they grunt unenthusiastically in reply. Losing your partner’s attention to their phone can make you feel unloved and unimportant. This year, make it a goal to be fully present when you’re with your partner. Put your phone away during meals with your partner, and press pause on your sitcom when they’re talking to you. Being present for your partner and giving them your undivided attention will go a long way into making them feel loved and appreciated.

4. Listen When You Fight

It’s a myth that happy couples never fight. All long-term relationships have to deal with conflict, so it’s inevitable for you to argue with your partner now and again. This year, make it your goal to fight better by taking turns to listen to each other’s point of view. Give each other the space to express their complaints, without interrupting or jumping in to defend yourself or correct them. Take turns to have the floor and explain your point of view, while the other partner listens without interruption, and then recaps what they heard to show that they understood you. When couples are trying to win the argument and cutting in to defend themselves or tell their partners how they got things wrong, no one feels heard or acknowledged, and the argument doesn’t end. When you listen without interruption, you let the other person know that you acknowledge their point of view.

5. Change the Way You Argue

Most fights are filled with accusatory statements. “You were so late for the movie and you didn’t even answer your phone! Why are you so irresponsible?” “You’re always making excuses not to meet my family.” However, when you change the way you express your complaints to your partner, you could see a big difference in the way you resolve conflict.

Think about what you really want from your partner. Instead of using accusatory statements, turn your complaints into expressions of need with “I” statements. For example, “I felt unimportant to you while I was waiting for you at the cinema. Could you please be on time for our dates?” or “It’s important to me to spend time with our families together. What is something you wouldn’t mind doing with my family?” Rather than hearing a complaint barked at them, your partner will appreciate you asking them about the situation, and sharing how you feel about it. Instead of starting a fight, you’re opening the conversation.Shi Yun and Darren’s Hiking Pre-Wedding Shoot on Coney Island by Happyphotopeople

6. Share Your Dreams

You’ve made some resolutions for the year, and written them down. Instead of keeping your goals to yourself, why not open up and share them with your partner? Sharing your dreams and hopes for the futures brings you closer together as you get to understand what’s important to your partner. Support and cheer each other on as you both work towards your goals for the year. You are each other’s best source of support as you work on becoming your best selves.

7. Check In

Remember the early days when you stayed up all night talking on the phone? You knew every little thing your partner did that day, and how they felt about it, and you felt so close to each other. As you fall into a routine, it can be easy to forget to check in with your partner and keep up to date with everything that going on in their lives. The couples who feel emotionally connected to each other are the couples who make it a point to know what’s happening in each other’s world—whether there’s a new stressful project at work, or a fight with a friend. Stay in touch with your partner simply by asking them about their day.

8. Say “I Love You” Often

These three little words mean so much, so why not say them often to your partner so they know how much you care about them? Hearing “I love you” often makes your relationship happier and makes you feel more secure, so while you may think your partner already knows that you love them, go ahead and tell them again!

For a relationship to grow and thrive, couples need to be committed to strengthening it. Setting goals together for your relationship can be very effective in growing your love and commitment. Whether you choose to incorporate the resolutions above into your relationship, or set your own goals, this year, be intentional about growing a stronger and more loving relationship.

Feature image from Phyllis and Leslie’s Lush, Light-Filled Wedding at PARKROYAL COLLECTION Pickering by Kai from Kai Picture

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