Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

June 2018

20 Ways to Know Your Relationship Will Last

As you’re about to head down the aisle, it’s natural to wonder if there are ways to know your relationship will last.

There are clear signals when a relationship isn’t right. He cheats, she’s abusive, or you have completely different values. It’s trickier to know when a relationship is right. How can you tell when the person you’re with is someone you could actually spend the rest of your life with, happily?

It’s an incredible thing when, out of the thousands of people they’ve ever met, two people find each other and somehow, understand and love each other enough to make a relationship work. Here are some ways to know if you’re in the right relationship.

1. You don’t hide stuff from each other.

We’re not talking about your hair waxes or feminine stuff, we’re talking about issues that could potential derail your relationship when they come to light, such as exes, chronic illnesses, criminal offences, past addictions, your real age. If you feel the need to hide something from your partner, the relationship is probably not right.

2. You trust them and you don’t go through their stuff.

On a similar note, you trust that your significant other isn’t hiding anything from you, so you don’t snoop through their phone or laptop to check up on them.

3. You like them meeting your family and friends.

If you’re happy in your relationship and proud of your partner, you can’t wait to introduce them to your parents, your friends, and the people in your life.

Hashy Yusof and Marc Than’s Stunning Pre-Wedding Shoot and Inspiring Story of Overcoming Paralysis by Chris Ling International Photographers

4. You don’t think they’re inferior to you.

You have to be able to respect your mate, whether it’s intellectually, financially, professionally, spiritually, or socially. You should be feeling blessed that you landed such a catch.

5. You fight well.

You may have some disagreements, but you don’t bottle up your anger. You tell your partner how you’re feeling without accusing them or being critical, and you help them see your point of view without things escalating into a shouting match.

6. You forgive.

You let things go instead of holding on to grudges and bringing up a laundry list of faults each time you fight.

7. They don’t “complete” you.

You don’t depend on them to fulfil every emotional need, provide you with the family you never had, or be the reason you feel good about yourself.

Steph and Weilun’s Travel-Themed Capella Singapore Wedding by Bobby Kiran Photography

8. You don’t lose yourself.

You didn’t change to make them happy or pretended to be someone you’re not. You remember whom they fell in love with in the first place and don’t let go of your self-identity.

9. You respect and value each other’s opinions.

You don’t force your opinions down your partner’s throat, nor are you sarcastic about things you don’t agree on. You value their opinion and turn to them when you make decisions.

10. You inspire each other to be better.

You believe in each other. You help each other see what you’re capable of. Your partner’s confidence in you galvanises you to be whom they believe you to be.

11. You like the person you are around your partner.

The people around us bring out different aspects of our personalities—you might indulge in cake and gossip with some friends while only discuss politics with another group. When you’re with your partner, you like the person that you become.

Tina and Nick’s Peach and Gold Wedding with Giant Paper Flowers by AndroidsinBoots Photography

12. You have similar values, goals, and beliefs.

You don’t need to have the exact same opinion on everything in life, but if you’re in this for the long-term, you should be sharing important values and beliefs. It’s not really going to work out if one of you doesn’t believe in material possessions and gives everything away, while the other aspires to run a business empire.

13. You talk about the hard stuff.

We mean money, religion, politics, where you want to live, the number of kids you want to have, if any. You’ve had heart-to-heart talks and you know what your partner thinks about the heavy issues, so there won’t be any surprise deal-breakers later.

14. You respect their time apart from you.

You have friends outside of each other and you don’t control each other’s time with them.

15. You share financial goals.

One of the major reasons couples divorce, finances is a tricky thing in any relationship. If you share similar goals about what do to with your money and how much of it should be earmarked for savings, vacations, family, your house, etc, you’re on the right track.

16. You’re intimate.

You feel emotionally and physically connected to your partner. You meet each other’s needs between the sheets, and are not afraid to talk about sex and what you need from them.

Shaotong and Abel’s Intimate Faber Peak Wedding by One Eye Click Photography

17. You support each other’s dreams.

You’re their biggest cheerleader when it comes to their life’s goals, and they’re the same for you. You are willing to support and encourage each other, and adjust your timelines to accommodate each other’s dreams.

18. You understand each other.

“You know me so well.” Those are the words they should be saying to you, because you know all of their food foibles, quirky habits, and likes and dislikes. You feel that your partner also truly knows who you are.

19. You lift each other up.

You don’t put each other down. After over 20 years of research, marriage expert Dr. John Gottman concluded that contempt was the single best predictor of divorce. Contempt is when one partner constantly treats the other with negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm, instead of with respect. If you put each other down instead of lift each other up in your communication, it’s not a good sign.

20. You’re in it completely.

You’re not second-guessing yourself or your partner. You’re not secretly waiting for the relationship to fail. You’re not protecting a piece of your heart, just in case. Because if it’s not worth getting your heart broken, then it’s not worth it all.


Credits: Feature image from Diana and Sufiyan’s Gorgeous Engagement Session and Blush and Green Wedding by Colossal Weddings.