Singaporebrides | Weddings 101
May 2021
10 Tricky Wedding Problems Every Bride Will Encounter
Let us guide you through these tricky wedding situations you are bound to encounter during your wedding planning and on the wedding day itself.
Whether you are planning a wedding for 50 or 300 guests, you’re bound to come across some awkward and downright tricky situations that will put you in a difficult position during the course of your wedding planning or on your wedding day itself.
Regardless of whether you are figuring out how you can invite both Aunt Susan and Aunt Mary without them bickering and causing a scene at the wedding or how to turn down your uncle’s kind offer to photograph your wedding, we’ve got the solutions you’re searching for to these 10 tricky wedding problems you might encounter.
1. You want to keep the wedding an adults-only affair
Linette and Joshua’s Autumn-Inspired Bohemian Wedding at Hotel Fort Canning by Androidsinboots
Whether you want to include kids in the celebration or keep it adults-only is entirely up to you and your fiancé. However, if you decide to go ahead with an adults-only wedding, do be prepared that some of your guests may not be able to attend as they may not be able to find sitters for their kids, especially if they have young children.
Solution:
Instead of hosting an adults-only wedding that most of your married-with-young-children friends may have to sit out on, you can consider setting up a kids’ corner with fun activities and prepare special goodie bags filled with kid-friendly items or snacks to keep the little ones entertained throughout the wedding so that you can mingle with your friends freely.
You can even appoint a handful of your bridal party to keep watch over the children at the kids’ corner so that their parents can socialise without worry throughout the celebration.
2. Everyone wants to have a say in your wedding
Joleen and Clement’s Dreamy and Intimate Wedding at Singapore Marriott Tang Plaza Hotel by Leslie Ang Photography
As excited as you are about planning your wedding, your family and friends are equally as excited, and in their excitement, their suggestions on what you should do for your wedding might come across as commands, making you feel pressured to go with what they want instead of what you want, especially if these suggestions come from your parents or parents-in-law.
Solution:
In a tricky situation like this, it’s best to know how to pick your battles. If going with your parents or parents-in-law’s suggestions will not make you unhappy, then try and compromise. If you can’t see yourself having the wedding they want you to have, then you need to have a talk with them to let them know that while you appreciate their suggestions, it is not what you had in mind for your wedding. It is best for you and your fiancé to come to an agreement before you sit your family down to reject their suggestions as you’ll need his support, especially if you are turning his parents down.
It is normal for them to feel disappointed or even angry after you’ve turned them down, so don’t feel too guilty or let it mar your wedding planning experience too much. Give them some space and time to get over this rejection, and as your wedding day draws nearer, their excitement and joy for you will help them forget about this incident.
3. The whole family wants to come wedding dress shopping with you
Michelle and Atticus’s Intimate Garden Wedding at The Summerhouse by Multifolds Production
When it comes to wedding dress shopping, it is best to bring along as little people as you can to make the experience more enjoyable and less confusing. But things get a little tricky when your family members offer (or insist) on coming along with you to shop for a wedding dress when you rather they do not.
Solution:
Having too many people present during your wedding dress shopping can make the experience confusing and miserable for you especially if there are too many differing opinions on what you should wear. So, thank your family for their kind offer but let them know that you prefer to keep the dress a surprise and the wedding dress experience a private one between you and your fiancé.
If they still insist on coming along with you to your appointments, consider coming to a compromise and take them along after you have chosen a dress, so they can get a glimpse of it before you walk down the aisle in it. That way, even if they had any opinions about the dress, you can simply inform them that you’ve made your choice and it cannot be changed.
4. You have additional guests who turn up unexpectedly on the day of the wedding
Yeonhee and Pei Qian’s Elegant Destination Wedding at Andaz Singapore by John15 Photography
It’s rare that you’ll have guests who have RSVP-ed for one person but turn up with a plus one or two on the day of the wedding, but it is not a problem that is unheard of. Unfortunately, it is not something you can fix before the day of your wedding, even if you’ve done your due diligence to follow up days or the day before the wedding to confirm their attendance.
Solution:
It isn’t too much of a problem if your venue is able to add on seats for additional guests, but things can get a little awkward if they are not able to. To prevent this from happening, you should be as specific as you can in your wedding invitation on who and how many people are invited. If you are not inviting your cousin’s latest squeeze to the wedding, your wedding invitation to her should only consist of her name. You can also subtly inform your guests that it will be an intimate wedding by including it in your invite.
But what happens if one of your friend’s plus one is someone you don’t like? If you know that this person will definitely disrupt the wedding in one way or another, be honest with your friend and ask if she can bring someone else instead. Otherwise, you may also choose to let it slide for the sake of your friendship.
5. Family or friends who weren’t invited to the wedding stay angry after the fact
Sun Yang and Wen Qiang’s Ethereal Wedding at The Barracks Hotel by Arture Photography
With COVID-19 still very much a threat, couples are forced to downsize their weddings, which means some people won’t make it into your guest list and they may not feel too good about that. Even pre-COVID-19, unless you’re planning a grand and lavish affair, you’ll still have a group of people who will take it personally when they are not being invited to your wedding.
Solution:
Appease them by explaining personally why you have to keep your guest list trim (even if they know that there is a cap on the number of guests you can have at weddings), and offer to arrange a post-wedding dinner with them or meet up for drinks so that they can still celebrate your union with you.
If that still does not calm them down, then don’t try to force a reconciliation immediately. Give them some time and space to get over their disappointment of not being invited to your wedding while continuing to be their friend and reach out to them as you would usually do. Eventually, they’ll come around, so don’t be too concerned over it.
6. You’re not sure how get feuding family members or friends to get along at the wedding
Nadine and Owen’s Quirky Vintage Pre-Wedding Shoot at Golden Mile Tower by Fleur and Craft
We all have family members or friends who don’t get along with each other and cannot stand to be in the presence of one another, which makes inviting them to the wedding and seating them a little tricky.
Solution:
First, you can give them a heads up on who you’re inviting to the wedding so that they won’t be taken by surprise on the day itself and kick up a fuss. Have an honest chat with feuding family members or friends and let them know that you love them both dearly, and you want them there on an important day such as your wedding.
However, make it clear that you would like them to be civil with one another and not cause a scene on your big day if you know they are prone to fighting the moment they see each other. You should also try to seat them as far away as possible so that they have little to no chances of exchanging a glance or crossing paths with each other at the wedding.
7. A friend offers their photography or styling services for your wedding
Cherie and Issac’s Sunkissed Shoot at Lower Peirce Reservoir and Sum Yi Tai by Andri Tei Photography
We all have that one friend who is dabbling in photography or interested in styling and offers their services out of goodwill so you don’t have to hire a professional wedding photographer to commemorate your big day. The problem is, you prefer to hire a professional you really like instead.
Solution:
With your friendship and your friend’s pride on the line, you should handle your rejection of their offer carefully. Start by thanking them for their offer before you break the news gently to them that you’d prefer hiring a professional instead. Then, explain that you’d want them to fully enjoy themselves at your wedding instead of running to and fro chasing moments.
To stem their disappointment and possibly hurt feelings or pride, you can ask them to help you with other areas of the wedding like preparing a video montage of you and your fiancé if they still wish to contribute.
8. You have bridesmaids who are uncooperative or insensitive
Evangeline and Joel’s Ethereal Impressionist Monti Wedding by Trouvé Photography
Even if you’ve picked the best girls to be your bridesmaids, you may still run into trouble with one or two of them along the way. When one of them oversteps their boundaries and makes an insensitive or hurtful comment to you or the other girls, or when someone fails to pull their weight at the last hour after promising to do so, try not to take it personally and fly into a rage, although we know it may be easier said than done.
Solution:
Instead, try to come to a resolution peacefully by speaking with them privately about their actions and ask them to be more mindful in the future. Or, you can also ask your maid-of-honour for help in speaking to them and managing their behaviour. If that doesn’t work, you may want to consider switching them out for someone more suitable and reliable, or even, have less bridesmaids than you intended to have if you’re unable to find a replacement.
9. Your bridesmaids have planned a wild hen’s night for your last hurrah as a single lady, but that’s not what you want
Pretty Fun: A Bright and Happy Hen’s Makeup Party Styled Shoot by A2i Makeup by Lightedpixels Photography
You bachelorette party may be your one last party as a single lady before you officially become a Mrs, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend a wild night out with your girls, especially if that is not the kind of party you have in mind.
Solution:
If you prefer something more subdued, intimate and quiet, like a pampering spa session followed by a nice meal at your favourite restaurant and a girls-only staycation with your bridesmaids, don’t be afraid to let them know that. The idea is to let them know what kind of party you prefer, not to demand a luxurious celebration, so that you don’t get forced to do something you don’t want and they don’t end up wasting time and money planning a party you don’t want.
But, if a wild night out partying is your idea of fun, then by all means go ahead, just remember to stay safe and have fun responsibly.
10. Your guests get way too drunk and rowdy, and disrupts the wedding
Joymarie and Mackenzie’s Fun, Tropical Bali Wedding by Apel Photography
With alcohol free-flowing at a joyous celebration such as a wedding, your guests (or even your groom) may get too carried away with the party and drink way over their limit and end up causing a scene.
Solution:
If you are worried about your guests or groom getting too drunk and making a scene, you might want to consider a no-alcohol wedding. However, if you decide to include alcohol in your celebration, there are ways you can keep drunk guests in line. You may ask your bridal party to help manage guests who get too loud and rowdy after a few rounds, or you can implement a start and cut-off time for alcohol to be served during your wedding reception.
If your wedding runs late into the night, consider asking your venue to prepare some light bites for your guests so that everyone is not running solely on alcohol.
Feature Image from Cleo and Paul’s Minimalist and Ethereal Art Gallery Wedding by Iki Company
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