will you accept your HTB remaining friends with the first girl he slept with?

[Luminous]

I recently found out from a friend that my HTB slept with his best friend before knowing me. He confessed all his previous relationships to me except this one cos it was apparently a One Night Stand. This also explains why all along the both of them have been so close and the girl seems to have some power over him.
Can you girls accept this?

 

[JuzDream]

You mean to say he is still on a very good terms with this girl that he had one night stand with.

Personally i cant accept it. Is either he cut all ties with her to be with u.

If he has excuses about this, it means he is reluctant to do so.

I am sure yr htb wun want you to be in such good terms with a guy u had one night stand with

 

[life_is]

Usually such friends are cause of quarrels between couples. Perhaps he didn't tell you the truth as there is nothing going on and they want to retain this friendship on a platonic level.

If he introduced this friend to you and allowed the exchange of contacts between you and her, it is probably quite safe. Just got to see how much you can trust him based on his actions. I got quite a few female friends and haven't had much problems introducing them to my exes. Better to be transparent than to hide, as it will only breed distrust.

 

[octobride]

I cannot accept it. It's either he stay away from her or stay away from me! What if he had other ONS and never tell you because it's just a ONS?

 

[Luminous]

You mean to say he is still on a very good terms with this girl that he had one night stand with.

Personally i cant accept it. Is either he cut all ties with her to be with u.

If he has excuses about this, it means he is reluctant to do so.

I am sure yr htb wun want you to be in such good terms with a guy u had one night stand with

Yes, he is still on very good terms with this girl he had one night stand with. Actually the girl is already married with kids. However , they meet in a group on a regular basis.
The girl rarely brings her husband to such gatherings and always forbids my HTB to bring me to their gatherings as well. And if i do appear for their gatherings, I'm a complete outcast by the group.
I'm just wondering how I can confront my HTB about this whole thing without stirring up a big fight.

 

[Luminous]

Usually such friends are cause of quarrels between couples. Perhaps he didn't tell you the truth as there is nothing going on and they want to retain this friendship on a platonic level.

If he introduced this friend to you and allowed the exchange of contacts between you and her, it is probably quite safe. Just got to see how much you can trust him based on his actions. I got quite a few female friends and haven't had much problems introducing them to my exes. Better to be transparent than to hide, as it will only breed distrust.

The thing is he introduced this friend with the others as a group and all along I thought they were just good friends cos they came from the same school.

Although I have the girl's number, but we have never become friends on a personal level.

I get the vibe that she strongly dislikes me whenever I see her.

Sometimes, she'll also challenge me by acting intimate or talk as if she knows my man better than I do.

 

[Luminous]

I cannot accept it. It's either he stay away from her or stay away from me! What if he had other ONS and never tell you because it's just a ONS?

Well the tricky part to this situation is that this ONS happened before meeting me. However, during our relationship, he did go on a trip with his other good friend while claiming that they shared the same room but not the same bed.
Which one should I be more worried about?

 

[octobride]

The thing is he introduced this friend with the others as a group and all along I thought they were just good friends cos they came from the same school.

Although I have the girl's number, but we have never become friends on a personal level.

I get the vibe that she strongly dislikes me whenever I see her.

Sometimes, she'll also challenge me by acting intimate or talk as if she knows my man better than I do.

That's a nightmare!!! So scary to know that a friend of your HTB actually slept with him before. And she still dare to behave in this manner towards you??

Well the tricky part to this situation is that this ONS happened before meeting me. However, during our relationship, he did go on a trip with his other good friend while claiming that they shared the same room but not the same bed.
Which one should I be more worried about?

I think he should come clean with you in the first place. Somemore this person is someone whom he meets on a regular basis!
Some women can be really so cheap.

 

[JuzDream]

Yeah i agree!! Just because the lady is already married they can still be possessive as well.

Is better for yr htb to cut all ties away from the group to stay away from her

 

[Luminous]

That's a nightmare!!! So scary to know that a friend of your HTB actually slept with him before. And she still dare to behave in this manner towards you??



I think he should come clean with you in the first place. Somemore this person is someone whom he meets on a regular basis!
Some women can be really so cheap.

Yes it is a nightmare and I haven't been able to sleep on it for nights.
I kept telling myself he should have come clean with me right from the start, but he didnt... which made me even more disappointed...
Ideally I want him to cut ties with her entirely cos I'll feel ectremely uneasy if I ever seen her again.
what makes things worse is that woman is gonna attend our wedding...

 

[Luminous]

Yeah i agree!! Just because the lady is already married they can still be possessive as well.

Is better for yr htb to cut all ties away from the group to stay away from her

Yes you are right. The woman had an affair with her colleague, who's also married with kids.
There was a period of time she kept asking my HTB for advice on how a guy will feel when he's cheating and fall for someone like her.
In the end that affair didnt work out, she got very stressed out, she asked my HTB to go on a trip with her to 'de-stress'.
Good news was he turned her down...
Well anyway, I'm still trying to compose myself before clarifying with him.

 

[octobride]

Yes it is a nightmare and I haven't been able to sleep on it for nights.
I kept telling myself he should have come clean with me right from the start, but he didnt... which made me even more disappointed...
Ideally I want him to cut ties with her entirely cos I'll feel ectremely uneasy if I ever seen her again.
what makes things worse is that woman is gonna attend our wedding...

Totally understand how you feel!

Yes you are right. The woman had an affair with her colleague, who's also married with kids.
There was a period of time she kept asking my HTB for advice on how a guy will feel when he's cheating and fall for someone like her.
In the end that affair didnt work out, she got very stressed out, she asked my HTB to go on a trip with her to 'de-stress'.
Good news was he turned her down...
Well anyway, I'm still trying to compose myself before clarifying with him.

Wtf! This woman really not easy! I think you better settle this issue before the wedding. It's either you or her.

 

[JuzDream]

Yes you are right. The woman had an affair with her colleague, who's also married with kids.
There was a period of time she kept asking my HTB for advice on how a guy will feel when he's cheating and fall for someone like her.
In the end that affair didnt work out, she got very stressed out, she asked my HTB to go on a trip with her to 'de-stress'.
Good news was he turned her down...
Well anyway, I'm still trying to compose myself before clarifying with him.

Sounds like this woman like attention from multiple men to be honest.

Please inform your hubby not to invite this woman to your wedding. What if she make things v ugly at your wedding?

 

[buddhabar]

I will play the devil's advocate here.
As a wife on your day. Please be assertive and firmly tell your HTB she's not welcome. This is a women who sleeps around and she probably doesn't give a hoot on your HTB is getting married. I can imagine her aloofness knowing she's beyond your control

 

[miloice]

the question frankly isn't about you accepting it or not. Rather, how sensitive is your husband about your feelings. He is playing with fire here. You can voice your discomfort but beyond that its his call. Your husband can have good friends, regardless of gender but he needs to draw the line, even if his friends crossing it, he should take steps to limit it and put a stop when necessary. It is not wife supervising and imposing restrictions. He ought to exercise more discretion and assurance to his spouse.

Insecurity is in built to some extend regardless how trusting one is.

 

[KopiO666]

I recently found out from a friend that my HTB slept with his best friend before knowing me. He confessed all his previous relationships to me except this one cos it was apparently a One Night Stand. This also explains why all along the both of them have been so close and the girl seems to have some power over him.
Can you girls accept this?

Ermm frankly not easy to accept. Ask him how he feels if its the other way round. Can he accept it? Reverse physcology

 

[Eunice Lyeeunkok]

It's not easy to accept girl, he should cut all ties with the best friend of her if he's going to marry you. You see it's messy even if you two aren't married yet, what if you're already a married couple? Please you should talk this with your htb and please clear all that the things that you're keeping to yourself.

 

[ginish]

I think you should talk to ur htb. Stay calm and tell him how it troubles you after you learn of the truth. Yes your htb should be sensitive to your feelings. He should also know that his Friend is trying to be mean on purpose, he should be able to see it himself and protect your feelings instead.

 

[SnowAngelx93]

Tell him to get away from her if they have slept before. If he respects and cares, he should do this so that you won't feel insecure and worry they might get together like before.