Cant help but feel annoyed with in Laws

Cloudia

New Member
Hi, need advise here.

There is a saying "its easy to get along but hard to stay together", now i fully understand what this means. I am married with my husband a year ago. I really get along with his family, his mom is a single mother and he has an older sister that is currently single. His mom and sis are very nice people. we are currently living together in a rented place. at first, our relationships was okay. i get along well with his sister, we are like friends. we joke and even exercise together. Recently, my husband and I are getting our own flat soon, and i really dont feel like staying together with my mother in law and sister in law due to different living habits. Recently things got abit awkward between us as I cannot help but to feel annoyed by everything they does, and all i want to do is to avoid talking to them in order to prevent myself from saying the wrong thing.
My sister in law always wfh, she likes to work in the dining table, which causes inconvenience when i wfh or I want to eat my lunch or dinner on the table, its just not very convenient where you are eating and you have someone working there with a laptop, the dining table is not very big. Apart from that, she always switch on her loudspeaker whenever she has work meetings or on the phone, and whenever we are in the living room, we have to keep quiet in order not to interrupt her. it gets so loud that I could even hear it in my room and sometimes it will woke me up from my sleep. Since young, her mother always takes care of her , she doesnt really do any housework, she always leave the dishes unwashed for the whole day until her mom come back from work (my mother in law always come back late). She owns alot of things, she used to just leave her bags in the living room until i told her in a nice way to keep her own things. I have tried to talk to her about these things, she was okay and accepted when i told her nicely, but somehow, things get awkward between us, seems like she didnt really want to talk to me. initially i tried to be friendly with her ,but after a few days, i realized that im not asking for too much and why would i need to suck up to her attitude. so now, i refuse to talk to her as well.
My mother in law always cook for us, i know these are good gesture, but i prefer to eat out. because she has allergy , everytime while cooking, she will sneeze alot and there are times where i saw that things are not very hygienic. Also, she likes to cook large amount and keep alot of unfinished dishes for days and cook it again. she too , is a messy person, she doesnt has the habit to keep things tidy. when we first stay together, it had bothers me whenever i see the living room filled with their belongings and so messy, but after week of struggle, i managed to convince myself that this is just a rented house and not my house. However, now we are getting our own place, i have expectation on how i want my home to be.
All these things that bothers me alot, i have spoken to my husband about it and he tried his best to solve these issues but its not easy. i do know that its not an option to ask them not to stay with us because i understand his situation, it will be unfilial to do that. still, i cant help it but feel annoyed with them. now it bothers me so much that everything that they do kinda rubs me up the wrong way. what should i do?
 

newproject

Active Member
Clarify. Current understanding/agreement is when your house ready all of you including MIL WIll move to your new flat from rented place?

Who is paying for the new flat?
 

Cloudia

New Member
Clarify. Current understanding/agreement is when your house ready all of you including MIL WIll move to your new flat from rented place?

Who is paying for the new flat
current plan is all move together and they will be staying with us until SIL buy her own flat. but as of now we dont know when she will buy probably staying with us for atleast 2years.

for new flat its under me and my husband name, we will be paying. my husband say that will let his sister help to pay for a bit .

money is one thing, honestly id rather rent out the rooms , atleast tenant will just be staying in the room and its easy to set rules for them since we are the landlord . if for in law,its kinda difficult.
 

newproject

Active Member
If it's just two years just put up with it lah.

As someone who has stayed with both my mother and mother in law (3 years at least each time), I've been on both sides.

Not saying that it's easy but it's possible.

But my family all very easy going, but these days most people are very anal, my way or it's the high way type so I can understand why so many complaints are nowadays
 

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