Why am i in so much pain???
- Thread starter adelyee
- Start date
for someone who kept calling and hang up, i think it's super childish. and for someone who is so childish, she wouldn't give up no matter how u scold her. she might just have the thought: i won ur husband anyway.. and most prob, she will juz complain to that guy after being scolded, picturing herself as a victim.
and TS might get questioned by the guy for being irreasonable and stuff. y even bother to waste ur breath then? i don't mean to ask u to avoid. but there's no need to place urself at "her level"
and TS might get questioned by the guy for being irreasonable and stuff. y even bother to waste ur breath then? i don't mean to ask u to avoid. but there's no need to place urself at "her level"
Hi totallylost,
sorry to hear your story...
More often than not, it takes two hands to clap.
be it if its a blissful marriage or otherwise both parties take part in it...
If your husband is all set to let go of this marriage, theres nothing much you can do but to be strong, and give him your blessing.
It takes time...no one knows how long it'll take to heal a heart, but we all have to take our chances when we experiences losses and changes.
So, dont waste time THINKING on how to recover.
Just grieve...and then you move on.
Sometimes, we gotta protect our hearts.
So dont hold back your emotions, one day, you'll recover and good things will come your way then...just believe in yourself. =)
As for the nuisance calls, is it on a frequent basis? If yes, report that to your mobile subscription host, i suspose they can do something for you by monitoring it.
No harm checking with them i guess and listen to their suggestions.
And i agreed with Milo on e Rocks,get immune to it, because such people is on a lower human basic level and there is really no point getting vexed for them.
If you have free incoming calls, all the more reason for you to think of a brighter side....you're not the one who comes up with such Shallow actions and definitely NOT the one with heavy bills at the end of the month...=P
Take care.
sorry to hear your story...
More often than not, it takes two hands to clap.
be it if its a blissful marriage or otherwise both parties take part in it...
If your husband is all set to let go of this marriage, theres nothing much you can do but to be strong, and give him your blessing.
It takes time...no one knows how long it'll take to heal a heart, but we all have to take our chances when we experiences losses and changes.
So, dont waste time THINKING on how to recover.
Just grieve...and then you move on.
Sometimes, we gotta protect our hearts.
So dont hold back your emotions, one day, you'll recover and good things will come your way then...just believe in yourself. =)
As for the nuisance calls, is it on a frequent basis? If yes, report that to your mobile subscription host, i suspose they can do something for you by monitoring it.
No harm checking with them i guess and listen to their suggestions.
And i agreed with Milo on e Rocks,get immune to it, because such people is on a lower human basic level and there is really no point getting vexed for them.
If you have free incoming calls, all the more reason for you to think of a brighter side....you're not the one who comes up with such Shallow actions and definitely NOT the one with heavy bills at the end of the month...=P
Take care.
adel.. weekend is for relaxtion. take the time to pick up some yoga classes. have lotsa fun with ur kids etc. bring urself out for some programme. as long as u r distracted, u wun have much time brooding over it.
indeed, the upcoming festive season may make u uncomfortable. celebrating festive season with loved ones are wat we always say. but loved ones can also include family members and close friends. who says u need a partner for this? lotsa singles out there are partying and having fun always too!
another suggestion is, u can also meet up with the forummers also! we will be glad to organize something, maybe a outing with u..
indeed, the upcoming festive season may make u uncomfortable. celebrating festive season with loved ones are wat we always say. but loved ones can also include family members and close friends. who says u need a partner for this? lotsa singles out there are partying and having fun always too!
another suggestion is, u can also meet up with the forummers also! we will be glad to organize something, maybe a outing with u..
blurblurman
New Member
IMM, water playground and shopping
miloice
Well-Known Member
hi bro,
its actually botanic gardens.
But, every singaporean I know calls it botanical gardens. I only realize it this year when my company had an event over there. When I checked the map and realized I have been calling it wrongly all the time. It seems to be a common mistake. Just heard DJ making the same mistake on air this morning.
its actually botanic gardens.
But, every singaporean I know calls it botanical gardens. I only realize it this year when my company had an event over there. When I checked the map and realized I have been calling it wrongly all the time. It seems to be a common mistake. Just heard DJ making the same mistake on air this morning.
Actually there is no difference between "botanic" and "botanical" garden. They mean exactly the same thing... can be used interchangeably with one another.
Officially it may be called "botanic" garden but it is not wrong to refer to it as "botanical" garden.
As long as we all understand where is it and what it is.. is more important.
Officially it may be called "botanic" garden but it is not wrong to refer to it as "botanical" garden.
As long as we all understand where is it and what it is.. is more important.
adelyee,
ask yourself frankly, even if you managed to keep him, would you be able to really forgive and forget?even if he returned, i dont think he'll be the same in your eyes anymore, dont you think so?
you're afraid because you're facing a big change, and you're holding on to everything dear.. its not going to be easy, but it has to be done. hold on to your pride. there may be greater blessings in front of you.
trust me, when you feel that you've run out of steam and have no energy left, you just need to search within and you'll find that a woman is at her strongest when she feels she's at her weakest.
ask yourself frankly, even if you managed to keep him, would you be able to really forgive and forget?even if he returned, i dont think he'll be the same in your eyes anymore, dont you think so?
you're afraid because you're facing a big change, and you're holding on to everything dear.. its not going to be easy, but it has to be done. hold on to your pride. there may be greater blessings in front of you.
trust me, when you feel that you've run out of steam and have no energy left, you just need to search within and you'll find that a woman is at her strongest when she feels she's at her weakest.
may_be_divorced_soon
New Member
Totally lost,
Not sure if it works for you. For my case, I shifted out as it is getting unbearable for me and from then on, I start to live life without him and pick up the pieces from there.
Not sure if it works for you. For my case, I shifted out as it is getting unbearable for me and from then on, I start to live life without him and pick up the pieces from there.
find a better guy than him and prove to him that u can lead a much better life without him being part of it. ur happiness is the best element to show. of coz maybe not now since u juz met with this situation. but gradually, open urself up to more ppl, not only it will kill ur boredom, it will also widen ur social circle and also increase ur popularity.
by then, u will be so different even if u chose to stay single. independent woman with confidence will be admired. =)
by then, u will be so different even if u chose to stay single. independent woman with confidence will be admired. =)
christmas09
New Member
Hi Totallylost.
I could understand how you felt after your husband telling you that he wants his freedom and his gf thinks that she having an upper hand in the relationship.
If i were you, I will definitely sue my cheating husband since he is the one trying to be young and free after so long. There should be consequences for every actions that he take. The problem that he taking such stand with you, maybe he knows that you will let him win and wait for him.
In fact, humans are very strange beings (no offence), they will not treasure what they have now and take things for granted. Once the treasured things are missing from their life, they will come chasing after it again. To me, show a strong side to your cheating husband. Prove to him that you can live or even live better without him. When things are not rosy over the other side, he will come crawling back to you.
Besides, you have 2 kids. You can choose your lifelong partner, but they cant choose their parents. Have more time with your children, definitely better than seeing your cheating husband any time.
Ya, you will having lonely moments, self-pity, convincing yourself to just wait for him to come back. Is he worth the wait? It is a phase to grow out of so have the patience and the courage. It is never easy to be alone again. But give yourself some times. Focus your life on other areas. No point crying over spilt milk. Upgrade your market value, have confidence in yourself.
AS for the gf, just ignore her. She probably thinks that your cheating husband will divorce and marry her. Well, from what i know, once a cat taste the fish, it always want to eat the fish again. unless it turn vegan. Haha..
I could understand how you felt after your husband telling you that he wants his freedom and his gf thinks that she having an upper hand in the relationship.
If i were you, I will definitely sue my cheating husband since he is the one trying to be young and free after so long. There should be consequences for every actions that he take. The problem that he taking such stand with you, maybe he knows that you will let him win and wait for him.
In fact, humans are very strange beings (no offence), they will not treasure what they have now and take things for granted. Once the treasured things are missing from their life, they will come chasing after it again. To me, show a strong side to your cheating husband. Prove to him that you can live or even live better without him. When things are not rosy over the other side, he will come crawling back to you.
Besides, you have 2 kids. You can choose your lifelong partner, but they cant choose their parents. Have more time with your children, definitely better than seeing your cheating husband any time.
Ya, you will having lonely moments, self-pity, convincing yourself to just wait for him to come back. Is he worth the wait? It is a phase to grow out of so have the patience and the courage. It is never easy to be alone again. But give yourself some times. Focus your life on other areas. No point crying over spilt milk. Upgrade your market value, have confidence in yourself.
AS for the gf, just ignore her. She probably thinks that your cheating husband will divorce and marry her. Well, from what i know, once a cat taste the fish, it always want to eat the fish again. unless it turn vegan. Haha..
haha.. to get anor man in my life just so to prove tt i'm living better than him is definitely not the option for me now. I'm not saying tt i'm fat and ugly tt no guy wants me. Its just not the correct mentality. Tts how i feel. Besides, i'll be deceiving myself too.. how is it ever possible to get anor man and lose all my love for my spouse or ex husband to be overnight?
as for the gf, she's got wad she wanted, all i want is to have is some peace.. and stop thinking tt her bf is with his ex wife when he's not ard her.
i find tt bringing kids out will not be a great idea coz no.1 will not think for a sec tt its wrong to bring daddy into the picture whenever he sees something.. and its gonna be so much more painful whenever i couldn't tell him tt daddy is no longer part of family.. to watch him grow up together...
as for the gf, she's got wad she wanted, all i want is to have is some peace.. and stop thinking tt her bf is with his ex wife when he's not ard her.
i find tt bringing kids out will not be a great idea coz no.1 will not think for a sec tt its wrong to bring daddy into the picture whenever he sees something.. and its gonna be so much more painful whenever i couldn't tell him tt daddy is no longer part of family.. to watch him grow up together...
christmas09
New Member
Hey, what i meant was not like that. Living better than him means that nothing can bring you down. especially after what he had done to you. Doesnt meant that you now go find another man. But in fact is to live your life meangingfully. not sobbing and feeling lost about the future. It is you to feel confident and secured about your future. Knowing what you want for your remaining life for yourself and your kids. For example, getting a job that you want, seeing that your kids get good education and grow up healthy. And you able to have a social life with friends and family.
For that gf, she likely not to stop her harrassment until you two are officially divorced. Basically, she is also insecured about this relationship. She using this advantage to haunt and bully you into giving up on your husband. Even, if you guys are divorced, i suspect she will once awhile appear to disturb you when things are not so good between them.
I am not sure how old are your kids. But children are very smart. They can sense something even you try to assure them that everything is alright. They might grow to be insecure and start to blame themselves for the separation of both of you. Or another scenario will be that they will start to blame you for chasing him away. This is from a child psychology point of view. It will be better to let them know things abit at a time.
For that gf, she likely not to stop her harrassment until you two are officially divorced. Basically, she is also insecured about this relationship. She using this advantage to haunt and bully you into giving up on your husband. Even, if you guys are divorced, i suspect she will once awhile appear to disturb you when things are not so good between them.
I am not sure how old are your kids. But children are very smart. They can sense something even you try to assure them that everything is alright. They might grow to be insecure and start to blame themselves for the separation of both of you. Or another scenario will be that they will start to blame you for chasing him away. This is from a child psychology point of view. It will be better to let them know things abit at a time.
flowerygal
New Member
Hi Totallylost,
Sorry to hear about your situation.. how did your hus got involved with this bad woman? As usual it is always temptations hard to resist. But surely your two kids should make him stop his affair. Perhaps you should take more pics with your kids and develop them & place them somewhere obvious to show him that he's an absence dad.
Sorry to hear about your situation.. how did your hus got involved with this bad woman? As usual it is always temptations hard to resist. But surely your two kids should make him stop his affair. Perhaps you should take more pics with your kids and develop them & place them somewhere obvious to show him that he's an absence dad.
take care of ur health. There's a long bumpy road ahead and u need to stay heathy and sane in order to survive the ordeal.
has the situation in your marriage improved a wee bit? or has it reached the point of no return? don't raise the white flag without putting up a fight if u really want him back. communicate, through sms, mail, fb, whatever.. don't beg though.
if he really wants a closure, u really have to move on and never look back. what's done has been done. take care
has the situation in your marriage improved a wee bit? or has it reached the point of no return? don't raise the white flag without putting up a fight if u really want him back. communicate, through sms, mail, fb, whatever.. don't beg though.
if he really wants a closure, u really have to move on and never look back. what's done has been done. take care
coloursabc
New Member
Hi adel,
I just read through your posts and even though you express yourself really well, I don't think i can ever understand the pain that you have gone through.
I can see that you are currently undergoing a rather challenging state; i'm just wondering if you have anyone to talk to if you are feeling overwhelm?
I just read through your posts and even though you express yourself really well, I don't think i can ever understand the pain that you have gone through.
I can see that you are currently undergoing a rather challenging state; i'm just wondering if you have anyone to talk to if you are feeling overwhelm?