my bf and i have been together for 3 months plus.. at the start, things has been going well. though he is much older than me but we can hit off pretty well. for the first few months, we engaged quite actively on sexual activities. so everything were doing well and seems fine.
recently, i found a condom in a pouch he kept in his car. so i questioned him why there is a condom and his reply was in case we need to do it outside so we can use it. i kinda doubt his reply because we never engage any sexual activities outside and he knows that i don;t like to use condom. so the next day, i question him again then he told me since he was with his ex ex, he already have the habit of keeping condoms in his car cos they always have the tendency of doing it in hotels and hotels condom are ex. then i keep quiet and since then i never probe further. but in my heart, i still feel a sense of insecurity.
not only that, i realized that he has been actively visiting porn sites. this month, our sexual activities reduced.. last time within a month, we can do like more than 10 times but just this month, we did less than 5 times..
the reason why i choose him because i admire his loyalty. he told me that in every past relationships, he is the one who always get dump and he love to keep old stuff . i feel that we are quite alike in certain ways that why i accepted him.
not sure is it because i still couldn't get over the condom and porn thing. lately i try to avoid meeting him.. last time we meet practically almost everyday. but now i keep arranging many dinner appointments with my friends so as to keep myself occupied. maybe i am just trying not to rely on him too much in case one day we ended, i might be able to cope with the loss. or maybe i jus don't want to face him at all.
until now i not sure if i still love him still. but i know that if we ended, i will be really depress cos i don;t think i can find someone who can accept the way i am.. i don have to change a single thing not like my exs where i have to keep changing and improving myself to match up with them..
what should I do? should I continue?
recently, i found a condom in a pouch he kept in his car. so i questioned him why there is a condom and his reply was in case we need to do it outside so we can use it. i kinda doubt his reply because we never engage any sexual activities outside and he knows that i don;t like to use condom. so the next day, i question him again then he told me since he was with his ex ex, he already have the habit of keeping condoms in his car cos they always have the tendency of doing it in hotels and hotels condom are ex. then i keep quiet and since then i never probe further. but in my heart, i still feel a sense of insecurity.
not only that, i realized that he has been actively visiting porn sites. this month, our sexual activities reduced.. last time within a month, we can do like more than 10 times but just this month, we did less than 5 times..
the reason why i choose him because i admire his loyalty. he told me that in every past relationships, he is the one who always get dump and he love to keep old stuff . i feel that we are quite alike in certain ways that why i accepted him.
not sure is it because i still couldn't get over the condom and porn thing. lately i try to avoid meeting him.. last time we meet practically almost everyday. but now i keep arranging many dinner appointments with my friends so as to keep myself occupied. maybe i am just trying not to rely on him too much in case one day we ended, i might be able to cope with the loss. or maybe i jus don't want to face him at all.
until now i not sure if i still love him still. but i know that if we ended, i will be really depress cos i don;t think i can find someone who can accept the way i am.. i don have to change a single thing not like my exs where i have to keep changing and improving myself to match up with them..
what should I do? should I continue?
