Should I proceed or should I let go

[scope_guy]

Hi BedokBoy and Hweebs,

Having no desire to know Scope further as a person is just pure laziness. LOL~ Sadly to say, 'want' is a very subjective issue, and exploited by players in excessive fashion to cheat women.

Which is to say, Hweebs, outfront rejecting is already putting you at a disadvantage in this game. LOL~ Sugar coated sweets may attract many ants, but mostly are poisonous. In Chinese 良è¯è‹¦å£å´åˆ©äºŽç—….

How do you know I am not your one if you don't know and understand? (Roars out laughter...)

You can commit, pledge loyalty to employers or husbands... no problem, and even married then you find out... But during the period of time, you'd also reject other employers or love interests. And chances are, intended exploration with a preset list of looking-outs usually turn out to be disappointments.

When you are little girl, you also want this want that in a guy... then when you are a teen, you want that and that else, then when you are an adult...

'Want, or don't want'... Do you know what's wrong with your idea? LOL~ Hweebs, how silly will you intend to be?

You are still trying to be your own God/Goddess aiming to twist fate.

If I happen to be your One, you can search elsewhere high and low, find out here and there... when your love fades, another women appeared, when you are old and ugly, your insistence to play Goddess will only mean bad news. LOL~

This is merely to illustrate, as I don't date local online forumers.

Let me be frank... Ling has married out of her 'successful' exploration of love, Seawaves6 as well, probably Monokuro and Sadtz... You are a counsellor, after so many cases, when in the time of need... turns out NONE ever had love in the first place to turn things around.

And what? The entire forum then calls for divorce! Curse the guys! Condemn this and that...

Don't tell me relationship is a decision. That's pure rubbish... unless you are already very sure that you know where your true love lies. But if you know, you don't even need to explore. LOL~

Exclusive...

What? You think man is a commodity that can be exclusive as a contract you so suggested to one of the troubled case?

If you are not interested to know me further as a person, this person in me will still be me, but you have hence a judgement based on what you won't know... which means, Hweebs... Whatever decision you make is never rational from the beginning.

And to you, it doesn't matter to be blind. LOL~

There is a long journey ahead... If you are blind right from the start, and you choose to be blind from that start... you'd be blind at many many turns.

You can be exclusive to, say, 4 men without involving Scope, which is the quantity of your desire explorations... However, let me point out AGAIN.

Can you make the decision that the 4 men will be exclusive to only you as well? LOL~

Unless you are the Goddess... You still don't get it, you can decide for yourself, but a relationship always have two. And you can't decide for the other.

If you choose to reject (eg) Scope, make sure he is not the One for you. But the problem is... LOL~

Who are you to decide? Can Monokuro decide for her husband? Can Little B decide on how her husband would treat her? Can Ling decide her husband shouldn't be a nerd?

BedokBoy, are you serious? LOL~

The only one who can decide who and who are exclusive... is God. What you mortals can do is to play hide and seek seriously. LOL~

Eternal bond is actually true love. Only will such a bond make sure loved ones will rally together through thin and thick.

You can drag on exclusively... but make sure you understand... while a lady's youth is so precious... men can become more attractive towards 50yo and can be sexually active until they die.

The bond of love can only be broken by death... Exclusive commitment... can be broken by divorce or even hardship.

Well... Silly woman... You either seek for the One, and be exclusive to a man where one day you are ugly and old or some hardship befalls, and you be discarded.

Again, tell me relationship is a decision only when you can magically decide also for your other half. Or I shalt decide for you that that idea is merely nosense.

You can decide not to come closer to Scope... but you can't decide if Scope is not a nice chap, nor if he is even the One for you. Understood? LOL~

Don't be a baby and whine that the other baby must give you your toys... and insist that's your rules. This is not relationship, this is pure naive self-denial.

Seriously, do you people really think you are your own Gods or Goddesses?

 

[scope_guy]

Hi Bedokboy,

Recently chatted with a woman in her early twenties, then we went to her bed and ... ...

LOL~

I asked her when she was in my arms all naked... "What do you think is the way to get a girlfriend", and she replied "Sweet talking". LOL~

Actually, there is a psychological state of mood-swinging women on monthly basis that someone whom the girl hates... could end up the biggest potential she'd be madly in love with.

The woman rested her head on my chest... listening to my heartbeats... ... If I see her two more times, she might start seriously feeling for me. No... I don't woo women online.

Love cannot be ordered.

Even my research is to understand certain social issues, and to help me to locate or filter out women to save my time searching.

Married without love, and pre-marital sex... without love... to me, it's only a matter of legislation. LOL~

 

[bedokboy]

serious about what?

my views or that you can make girls so 烦 they don't realise they are falling in love with u?

haha...

 

[scope_guy]

Hi Bedokboy,

LOL~

烦. My true opinion... local women mostly 庸人自扰. That's why I don't 烦 local women but seek foreign beauties.

I got another new date on the card... So... ...

Haha. Seriously, if any women are 烦. Fine with me. Relationship is always a decision to them. For me, it's always love. Impossible to reconcile... I can't buy such ridiculous nosense. LOL~

 

[bedokboy]

my chinese poor, maybe 烦 is the wrong word to use.

but u know what I mean lah. U cocky-funny them until they dunno what hit them, wonder why always think of you.

Haha.

 

[scope_guy]

Bedokboy,

I used to 'play' (or tease) with girls who were so ridiculous... There is some truth in what you said. Ends up some wrote love letters to me. LOL~

Love and hate... But I still don't like ridiculous girls.

I am thinking of seeing the new girl I know recently. She was real hot till I mentioned her ex... LOL~ I guess she's like as 'lonely' as myself.

If you are talking about my 'beloved' Junkie, she's really tailgating me everywhere, and instantaneous enough in 'thinking' of me. She's like trying to know me. LOL~ She's getting my attention, no doubt.

LOL~

 

[sgbabydoll]

Bedokboy & Hweebs, of course one can commit to another person without really loving him/her, just like one can have sex without loving the sex partner but would you hope to find love with him/her along the way?

 

[bedokboy]

orh i dunno about junkie but i started this 烦 cos Hweebs like out of the blue say she won't consider u mah or something like that.

yeah doll certainly (agreeing with what you said). I'm talking more about relationships tho. Yes if for sex without love is certainly possible. Find love later also depends, if the 2 of u are in an exclusive relationship? haha. yes.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Depends on what kind of commitment. To commit to a person for exclusive dating or even relationship without loving him/her first is possible. But to commit to him/her for marriage without love and hope to develop love along the way.....and if love is not developed, what next?

 

[scope_guy]

Bedokboy,

Which is really strange. I don't know Hweebs, I don't even know how she looks, and I never said I want to hook her up...

Did I?

She's like imagining me day in day out lusting after her heart, mixing imagination with reality that in her dreams, the princess said, "Sir Scope, I shalt not succumb to your seduction..."

This sort.

By the way, it is possible to first commit then humtam the guy is the One... if you are that lucky. You are like talking as if women are all high-rollers. LOL~

And then, their marriage wrecked... they blame this blame that, blame ikan bilis... but they forgot...

They are the very ones who said relationship is but a decision. LOL~

Try decide for Scope... and see how.

 

[miloice]

Hi guys, after all these talk. Who defines what's love? LOL.

The idea that love is forever, I don't fully agree. Nothing is permanent. Let alone love. This is real life, not fairy tale. That emotion called love is so influenced by our perception that is ever evolving. Call it whatever you want in theories and dream about the most idealistic love. It will come a time to walk the talk. At least, I'm very much happy and contented with my marriage thus far as I continue to walk my talk. Meanwhile, enjoy your search.

 

[denise80]

Milo,

Love indeed can be forever till the day one dies and cannot feel anymore. Why not? While others may sound too idealistic, don't you think you're a little too pessimistic? Though my grandfather had passed on years ago, I still love him till today and I'll say this love remains till the day I die. Isn't this about love is forever?

I believe the search for the 'right' one is important. Many marriages we read here failed because they thought they found the right one. Some worse. They knew they hadn't found the right one but just went ahead to tie the knot.

Of course, life is unpredictable. There is this much that we can do. After finding the 'right' one, we still couldn't guarantee that happily ever after ending. But without a proper search and decision-making using both the head and the heart, we're only making life more predictably miserable later on. That being said, those in happy marriages, pls count your blessings and continue to work on your fulfilling relationship.

 

[hweebs]

doll: is the first type of commiting u are talking about lar...not commit to marriage

must know guy's value systems before i decide on whether i want to know more about him as a person

then if know liao see if develop love or not, if not just stay as friends lor

but for someone whose values i cannot agree i dun even invest energy to know, not to mention love.

out of the blue i say i wouldn't consider scope ah? becoz he keeps insisting i am in denial, keep saying that love is possible, which i find is totally ridiculous. To stop the roundabout argument i decided to use the most straightforward way to say it lor. bedok, u are right, he really very the 烦 . But will not 烦 until i give in...i juz can visualize got fly or mosquito keep buzzing around, plain irritating.

scope, not to discount u or what. I'm sure there are many girls who will find u fascinating, charming etc., but not me. Because the first thing i will look at in a person is values, which u have exhibit in detail in this forum, i dun need to know u physically to know that we are of different types. Not my cup of tea. And I'm sure I'm not yours as well, so stop insisting that love between us is possible and is now only impossible because i am stubborn, in denial, etc etc etc.

And

Who I am has no bearing on ling and her relationship what, why u mix the 2 issues? Your thoughts and brain very the disorganized leh. IF u are writing an essay i will fail you because u keep going out of point. I only offer my viewpoint, that is there is more than one possible love in life, whereas yours is that there is only a destined one. Why u start to condemn my views and that it will affect ling for 20 years and beyond??? She has yet to make her choice or show her stand in her beliefs, why u so eager to knock my views out of the way? I am not even suggesting about love fade etc, only her idea that they are, according to her, still in love.

Who are you to decide that only your views are right. U really think u are god ah?

 

[miloice]

demise,

we all view love very differently. As long as we find our right match for happiness, then its good.

I don't think its pessimistic at all to realize emotions can change all of the time. When I say, it can change, it doesn't mean surely it will not last. It can help one realize how vulnerable it really is. And if we cherish it, we should appreciate the time we have with our loved ones. Memories we have are forever. When our loved ones die, we treasure that. But its not the same with relationships with living folks. Our goals and objective change. What we believe as the one today might not be tomorrow. Nothing really pessimistic, rather, its realistic for me. We can still treasure the memories but its idealistic to believe that the love doesn't change.

I don't see the need to 'compare love' at all. The thread seems to have moved away. Does TS need to adapt her love to one kind defined by you, me, scope or anyone else? Her search should be finding happiness. Simple as that.

 

[miloice]

hweebs, u need not convince anyone. Just find that right match and live your life to your fullest. Walk that talk and pick up your own personal lessons. Scope will always talk. Sometimes, its really valid stuffs and I wouldn't doubt that at all but when it isn't, don't bother disputing it with him. He will fire with all him ammunition regardless if its relevant or not.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Oh, I see, Hweebs. What kind of value system will match yours?

Is physical attraction important to you at any point?

 

[miloice]

attraction isn't a decision. Neither are the emotions and affections. The decision is whether one wants to pursue and develop the relationship. You need both factors to play a part. At some stage, you will need to take the decision to go beyond. So, is it love or decision?? Its like asking if chicken or egg comes first.

 

[scope_guy]

Hweebs,

LOL~

Then we'd see, Hweebs. You are very the green indeed.

LOL~ Mark my word, you are great in self-denial. ^.6 This will help you in the future.

Love is possible, just that we don't know what fate holds. But you are right, you are not my type. But it's goodwill I'm showing you your issues.

 

[hweebs]

doll,
physical attraction ahh....hmmm...usually i can admire people who look really good like works of art. I dun feel physically attracted until i get to know the person well lor. And usually when i get physically attracted it's the attraction of the intellect and charisma. Very different from the usual hor? If it's just usual questions, I'm fine. But are you trying to pick on me? For you seem to be sending barbs here and there.

Milo, thanks ya. Will heed your advice

I will do nothing less than walk my talk, otherwise wouldn't i be making a joke of my own existence?

scope,
green or not, we are looking for different things in life. I may seem green to you, you may seem stale to me, doesn't matter, because we can both live our own exciting lives without interference from each other.

 

[scope_guy]

Hweebs,

Whatever you like. Like I said, most people who end up coming to me for aid are people who are no less disturbed as you.

Truth hurts. I wish you all the best. ^.6

Basically, we are not looking at different things in life... You just still haven't understood. You'd take time.

 

[hweebs]

i can say the same for you.
let me use your words?

whatever you like. Most people who end up coming to me for aid are people who are no less disturbed than [sic] you.

truth hurts, i wish you all the best.

basically we are not looking at different things in life...you just haven't understood. You'd take time

 

[sgbabydoll]

Hweebs, I think you are being over sensitive lah. I don't bother to use much tact on the forum because I am mostly typing away during office hours, no time to mince my words. And maybe you didn't notice, I use the same tone to everyone, including people whom I know slightly better.

 

[miloice]

Doll, sometimes I have the same feeling from your replies as well. But, after corresponding long enough with you, I know its your pattern. Its really quite normal. Words can be taken personally easily. We normally choose to clarify.

Similarly, scope has his own irritating pattern as well. The diff is, he enjoys being a pest.

 

[sgbabydoll]

The attraction to the intellect and charisma of a person is physical attraction? I thought physical attraction is of the physical form or physique.....

As for intellect and charisma, they are associated with the personality of a person. No?

 

[sgbabydoll]

Hey Milo, when I said "I use the same tone to everyone, including people whom I know slightly better", I was thinking of you and a few others hahaha. I believe you are one of those who knew my "pattern". No offence please.

Largely when I talk to myself, I use this same tone. I don't bother to be courteous to myself. I seek to be honest with myself.

 

[scope_guy]

Hweebs,

Interesting. Stubborn woman you are.

Hopefully you won't fall in love with me with all the godly differences you are hugging for me. LOL~

If that'd be, should I then kiss you real hard or laugh till stomach pain? LOL~

 

[hweebs]

scope: please laugh, if that ever happens i'd probably deserved it.

doll: ok cool

i must clarify mah, cannot anyhow assume things. Perhaps i quite weird lar, i only get physically attracted after i know a person. The chemistry only kicks in for friends and above...no go for strangers

 

[scope_guy]

Hweebs,

Fate shalt decide. Maybe I'd really fall in love with an avatar? I don't even dare to challenge my good old friend, Mr God, on that.

But that's bad on your side... Why should I get a stomach pain if you fall in love with me?

The moral of the story from me to you: Don't be your own goddess. ^.^

Ciao. I got a babe to hug now. Perhaps you'd get your turn. LOL~ My arms are well-known to be cozy.

Which great love stories didn't begin with two fvcked up strangers? LOL~

You're a good tease nonetheless.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Hweebs, you are not weird just not spontaneous in regard to matters of dating and relationship, I think. You have a fixed idea how you will meet your other half but who will know what will happen to us tomorrow? Be open.

 

[flowerygal]

Depends how individuals see from their point of view.

If after marriage is boring, definitely both parties must maintain it by engaging in mutual activities to keep it going. It is both parties responsibilities. If the flame gets smaller, something need to be addressed. Remember the content of the marriage vow? All these must put in effort and push the guy if he did not. Push & think of intelligent way to make him do something. Being a lady, must be patient.

Cannot easily give up unless either party is unfaithful.

Hope this enlighten u abit.