Hi everyone, new here and also my first ever posting a thread
Sorry I'm not a good storyteller, try my best to write this as clear as possible. I have a problem that I need to let out but I'm too shy to tell it to friends...
I've been with bf for almost 3 years and going to marry next year. Our relationship is good that I can see my future with him but 1 thing has been bugging me is our sex life. The first 1.5 years we are together, we did it 3-4 times a week (honeymoon period haha) then decreased to once a week when he started to work until we pretty much stop since early October 2013.
Before I had my first sex (with him, we were both virgins), I know that my sex drive is quite high. I pleasure myself almost everyday and more than once per day when I need and time allows. I always imagined that my sex life would be very exciting, I'm very open to any ideas. But unfortunately, he isn't. We had many quarrels over this, perhaps whenever I suggested something I sounded demanding and also hurt his ego and pride. I know it was my fault not to be able to communicate it nicely.
Once when we were in heated argument (started because I initiated to have sex and he didn't want) he said had zero interest in me sexually. That sentence hurts me like thunder strikes me. I'm no supermodel nor have washboard abs and bubble but but I'm pretty confident in my physical look, hearing that I'm not sexually attractive from my bf was.. well you know how shitty it is.
So after that argument, I reflected on myself reading books how to be a better woman also how to understand men better. Our relationship has improved but our sex life is still nada. I tried not to ask him to have sex every time (I stay over at his place every weekends) I sleep with him but once a while I try but always rejected. Every rejections hurt me emotionally. I can't help to wonder whether am I that unattractive but his actions when it's not about sex shows that he really loves me. I offer him to blow jobs and he's not obligated to continue, I just want to kick start our sex life again, he would say "Hmm next week" or "Tired" or "Don't feel like", and if I pout when I hear that he isn't happy/annoyed.
I'm so stuck with this now, I don't know how to make him wants to have sex again and forgets all the 'trauma'. I tried to rub his penis, chest etc. but he didn't really let me cos he's very ticklish. I was thinking to buy sexy lingerie to arouse him but the situation isn't really conducive for me to do that and if he still rejects me after that I don't think my confidence can take another 'humiliation'.
If there's any advices that I can perhaps follow, please throw
Just a note, he does have a demanding and stressful job. I know this affects sex drive but I think that this shouldn't be main reason, cos work is always stressful and many guys with even more tiring and stressful job can still have great sex life…
Thank you for reading my essay haha.
Sorry I'm not a good storyteller, try my best to write this as clear as possible. I have a problem that I need to let out but I'm too shy to tell it to friends...
I've been with bf for almost 3 years and going to marry next year. Our relationship is good that I can see my future with him but 1 thing has been bugging me is our sex life. The first 1.5 years we are together, we did it 3-4 times a week (honeymoon period haha) then decreased to once a week when he started to work until we pretty much stop since early October 2013.
Before I had my first sex (with him, we were both virgins), I know that my sex drive is quite high. I pleasure myself almost everyday and more than once per day when I need and time allows. I always imagined that my sex life would be very exciting, I'm very open to any ideas. But unfortunately, he isn't. We had many quarrels over this, perhaps whenever I suggested something I sounded demanding and also hurt his ego and pride. I know it was my fault not to be able to communicate it nicely.
Once when we were in heated argument (started because I initiated to have sex and he didn't want) he said had zero interest in me sexually. That sentence hurts me like thunder strikes me. I'm no supermodel nor have washboard abs and bubble but but I'm pretty confident in my physical look, hearing that I'm not sexually attractive from my bf was.. well you know how shitty it is.
So after that argument, I reflected on myself reading books how to be a better woman also how to understand men better. Our relationship has improved but our sex life is still nada. I tried not to ask him to have sex every time (I stay over at his place every weekends) I sleep with him but once a while I try but always rejected. Every rejections hurt me emotionally. I can't help to wonder whether am I that unattractive but his actions when it's not about sex shows that he really loves me. I offer him to blow jobs and he's not obligated to continue, I just want to kick start our sex life again, he would say "Hmm next week" or "Tired" or "Don't feel like", and if I pout when I hear that he isn't happy/annoyed.
I'm so stuck with this now, I don't know how to make him wants to have sex again and forgets all the 'trauma'. I tried to rub his penis, chest etc. but he didn't really let me cos he's very ticklish. I was thinking to buy sexy lingerie to arouse him but the situation isn't really conducive for me to do that and if he still rejects me after that I don't think my confidence can take another 'humiliation'.
If there's any advices that I can perhaps follow, please throw
Just a note, he does have a demanding and stressful job. I know this affects sex drive but I think that this shouldn't be main reason, cos work is always stressful and many guys with even more tiring and stressful job can still have great sex life…
Thank you for reading my essay haha.