I am married to a "dirty old man".

[60secs]

I WILL come right out and say it - I am married to a "dirty old man".

When I married him, he was a decent enough person and seemed like he would be a responsible husband and father. That was 33 years ago.

Until a year ago, I still had hopes that we would grow old together, and understand, support and care for each other. I trusted him totally especially as we are now in our late 50s and he no longer had any interest in any kind of physical intimacy for some time now.

I just don't know when he morphed into a dirty old man. One day, he left his handphone at home and I found several sexually explicit messages from some woman. He had been calling her and some other women very frequently.

I had never touched his handphone before and he knew I trusted him and would never check on him. Also, he had been going out nearly every night and spending the occasional weekend away "for work".

One day, a package of pills arrived for him. He claimed they were health supplements, but after checking, I found out they were sex stimulants.

Recently he has been upgrading his wardrobe, buying new clothes and shoes. Since I am retired with a pension and my children are working, he spends his entire salary on himself.

I was furious, frustrated and depressed and until today, I cannot bring myself to be in the same room as him or to even hear his voice. I can never forgive him or love him anymore.

If he wants to spend all his time and money on sex stimulants and young women instead of growing old gracefully with me, that is his choice. There is still the rest of my life to live and I want to spend it with a light heart and a happy smile. And no stupid, dirty old man is going to ruin that.

Finally, to all the silent, suffering wives out there - you are not alone. Cut all emotional ties with that dirty old man of yours. Tell yourself that he is not worth suffering for. Don't shed one more tear for him. You can be happy again.

SixtySecs

 

[ariel84]

60secs, I am sorry to hear about what you are going through.

Throughout your marriage, has he ever cheated on you? How has he been as a husband throughout the 33 years?

 

[kittenpie]

this post is most likely fake.

you could search on 60secs to find out about the previous posts of this avatar.

do not respond to this post.

 

[ariel84]

May, so sharp of you.

Kaoz... wasted my time feeling sad for her (him).

 

[kittenpie]

that's just another internet troll.

i have colleagues in their late 50s. they don't write in this way. that is the number one giveaway.

 

[daemonkoh]

When i saw the nick, i thought this nick belong to a man??

 

[couragefinding]

This is an article from asiaone.com.

 

[simpleman]

may,

You can tell a person's age from their writing?

 

[kittenpie]

SM,

yes.

" WILL come right out and say it"

50 something people simply dont speak in this way.

 

[simpleman]

then how 50 something people will put it?

Nabei, limpei ka li kong?

 

[ariel84]

SM, I really LOL at what you said!

 

[simpleman]

Or

"lao niang gen ni jiang"

 

[kittenpie]

SM,

it is like when i first started reading the forum i already know you are not young without knowing your age .... something like that. hard to pinpoint the specifics but it is the overall language and tone ...

 

[simpleman]

Of course I don't should young.. but I don't sound like 50s.

 

[thommy]

LOL...so bo liao ah?

 

[powder]

seems the idea of aging gracefully will be to plant orchids, prune bonsais, do some afternoon tea with nitetime community centre dance classes and maybe line-dancing in Lau Pa Sat every thurs nite...

if dad was a widower, i'd be happy to see him having a 2nd life without mum. and i guess sex May require some stimulants and enhancements... else how to keep up?

and if 50+yrs old dad is supposed to find 50+ yr-old woman to date, then good luck. cos he'll find himself planting orchids and pruning bonsai and going for community centre dance classes anyway... instead of other activities.

no wonder grandparents are always the front-runners when it comes to taking care of kids... many expectations fall on their shoulders to fulfill this role...

i am so leaving the country and hiding from my kids when i'm older... dun wanna spend my remaining days taking care of babies and plating orchids... sianz... my heart should still remain 35.

 

[simpleman]

powder, I don't think so.

I don't plant orchids nor go to community centre dance classes. My lifestyle is not very much different when I was 20 years ago.

Most of my friends are in their 30s, some 40s and also 20s.

We don't have to conform to what the society expects us to be..

 

[powder]

yalor, judging by the 1st post of ageing gracefully... i'm getting pictures of flowers, butterflies, parks and bonsais... hehe

 

[magicalhome]

LoL.. made me feel sorry for poster. At least we know its fake now. haha

 

[bedokboy]

for the sake of conversation, i think men and women are not meant to grow old together, cos they are simply too different.

mwahahhaahahahahhahaha...

 

[pinktweet]

growing old together, holding hands & strolling in the park, enjoy the romantic sunset, etc .. kekekekeee

 

[babystorm]

Sm and powder are around the same age?

Powder, I don't think that far.. Don't know what kind of old lady I will grow into. Maybe a grumpy one. Haha.

 

[powder]

just hope u dun lose your libido...

 

[babystorm]

Ah peks can even father a child in their 80s? Read an article somewhere.. Amazing.

 

[simpleman]

No. I am much older than powder..

 

[thommy]

miyako, u cham liao...u say powder old...

 

[miloice]

sm, to me, u do sound 50. Its the wisedom and experience that is telling. Although many exchanges we had, I truly respect your knowledge and advises that you offer.

 

[simpleman]

I am not conscious of my age at all. most of the people I mix with are 20s & 30s..

I do most things that 20s & 30s are doing.. and certainly not the community center line dancing or gardening (although I did that last time when I live in landed)

My daughters always say I am very hype and updated about even teenagers thingy - like the kind of music, craze with K-pop (and J-pop previously), anime, rock and all that..

 

[pinktweet]

let me guess, sm is mid-40s and powder is mid-30s?

 

[powder]

i'm 36 liao... but feeling 28 always... it's a number, just like weight etc... these are measurements and units... not instruments that will cause happiness nor unhappiness... hehe

anyway my family genes are such that we look older than our age until maybe past 45... then we'll look younger than our age. hehe... so i have to wait til maybe 50 to 'look young'.

 

[simpleman]

guy's look don't change much from mid-30s to early 50s.. especially if you maintain your fitness

 

[powder]

isit? alamak... thought got some special genes... suddenly dun feel so young anymore... but i can be like alan tam, bluff myself for 20yrs...

 

[babystorm]

Wahahaa.. Thomas.. You ah.. I didn't mean it that way.

Both sound very mature and provide plentiful insights so..

Sm, I hope my future hubby is like you. Savvy and don't conform for the sake of comforming. Not many can do that though. Who says old aged couples cannot go dating, hold hands or give pecks in public? I always find such sights very heartwarming. Hopefully by then, we are still attracted to each other.

36? Interesting.

You speak as though you are going to take care of your grandbabies soon! LOL.

 

[miloice]

LOL....

Maybe I sound I like still playing marbles.

 

[babystorm]

Milo, you sound like you are 60. Wahahaa.. I guess should be around the same as James.

 

[miloice]

no lah... come play marbles with me.

 

[babystorm]

I don't play marbles.. Prefer rubbers. Guess we are from different eras. Haha.

 

[thommy]

I play both marbles and rubbers last time

 

[miloice]

How about spiders?

 

[thommy]

spiders NO...too creepy for me. Ugh.

 

[babystorm]

Thomas serious? I thought little boys love to play with insects like spiders, grasshoppers, crickets, etc.. At least the ones I know do. Always out in the field capturing and putting them into cages.

Spiders are ok.. But roaches make me scream really loud almost everytime I have a huge phobia against them! I wonder why..

 

[thommy]

erm, not me definitely...those things give me the creeps. The best I've tried was to catch grasshoppers though.

Roaches are ok, but flying ones are not. LOL

 

[miloice]

I used to catch roaches with my siblings for fishing. The best catcher is surprisingly my sister. And BIL is afraid of roaches.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Fish eat cockroaches meh?

 

[miloice]

yes. Depends on kinds of fish. They can be great baits.

 

[sgbabydoll]

mmm, didn't know that leh. Anyway, I am absolutely terrified of cockroaches, especially flying ones.

 

[miloice]

yah. the flying ones is scary because it can fly onto us really fast and crawl into all kinds of places.

 

[simpleman]

I am the cockcroach terminator.. I love to kill cockcroaches.. flying ones or not.

 

[sgbabydoll]

SM, how do you catch the flying ones?

I only dare to spray insecticide at cockroaches.

 

[simpleman]

I use a racket or newspapers (rolled up) and smack them. I used to have a net that was lost when I shifted house.

I would wrapped the cockcroaches in newspapers and burn them alive with the newspapers. Or sometimes, I poured boiling water over them.. and them dispose them afterwards.

But the best is to eliminate the source.. if there are eggs then they need to be destroyed... Pert control can control to some extent - if they come and treat your house - then for at least a year or so, the cockcroaches will simply not visit your house (probably visit your neighbours)