I thank you for your reply. Your post is too interesting for me to ignore. Allow me to comment without offence.
Your description of me is very interesting. I may be 49, but everybody I came into contact with guess I'm only in my mid 30's at most. I feel very honoured that a 39 years old friend has asked me to marry him should I divorce one day. AND, please don't call him a moron, ok?
I have a baby face and I am very pleased to inform you that I have no problem fitting into my old S size dresses I owed before I had my 1st child. Everywhere I go, people addressed me as 'Miss' or 'mei nu', not 'auntie'.... lol
Judging by the way I write, I'm educated. I am perplexed why you feel I'm not. I used to work for MNC and Financial Institution for top-notched bosses well-known in their respective circle. I have very good testimonials and work appraisals from them. Be it self-satisfaction, recognition, praises, respect or monetary rewards, I have them all before I quit the workforce for the family.
At home, I am a devoted mum, understanding wife, a VERY good cook, and a handyman. I repair the cistern tank, replaced the wired door bell, change the power sockets, replace door knobs and repair gate lock singlehandedly. Of course, I've to charm the 'know-how bosses' to teach me when I purchase the parts from them. No 'touching' involved.
Last year, I successfully exterminate beg bugs when they invaded my living room and bedrooms and thus saved my husband thousands of dollars, should he had gotten a professional exterminator.I did it without even the need to throw away any furnitures. I surfed the web to find out all about bedbugs, their lifespan, habits and hiding place etc. To get rid of enemies, you have to know them well first, right?
I surf the web daily and read widely. Local news does not interest me as much as global news. I am abreast of what's happening, in and out of our small little red dot. Other than adult forums, I also visit the teenage and youth forums. I know how some teenagers view their parents.
Although I gave life to my children, but I never for a moment think I own them. Everyone is an individual, they have their likes and dislike, the need to be respected irregardless of age. The Sexuallity programme introduce in school from Primary school onwards, has made our children more aware and 'interested'. I know of children as young as P6 showing an intetest in the opposite sex. The culture in Secondary school now is very unlike those in my time. Secondary students are treated as young adults, the numerous group projects encourage students of different sex and diverse background to mix around. My daughter is a very pretty girl. At 16, 17 then, she was like honey to bees. As I say, I don't own her, I can't dictate what she does. I can only lay down some realistic rule (and back it up with good reasons), eg no boyfriend during Secondary School years. After 'O' level, at 18, do you think I can stop her from having boyfriend if she insist? The world has evolved, so has our children. You can only advise, and if they take your advice, you are considered blessed. Most of the time, they prefer to take challenge. See what happened when I put my foot down, she left the house to stay at her friends'. Therefore, I do not think I have done wrong as you said, neither am I stupid to let her date after 'O' level. Why try to stop what I cant stop?
Some hinted I tagged too much to academic success. I beg to differ on that too. I know my children well. I know what they can achieved. I often tell my children that to get As, one need not be intelligent, being hardworking is the trick. I have never pushed my children to get higher grades, I only demand that they be hardworking. My daughter is definitely not intelligent, but she's extremely hardworking. She is graduating in 1 week's time and is in the top 5% of her cohort. She has proved my point.
We lives in a realistic and very competitive world, so we have to be realistic. Last time, you can find job with just an 'O' level cert, now some can't eventhough they have a degree, as the market is flooded with degree holders. With so many degree holders, it is inevitable that employers would want to hire someone who can offer more than just a cert. Decades ago, one can still do reasonably well without education. In this era, it's not impossible, but it' going to be extremely hard.
Now, I do not wish to comment on other children or their parent's parenting style, as I said everyone AND every family is unique. My children I know very well. I did what I did because I believe a child has no concern for their future, a concerned adult secures his child's future.
Therefore, if I have to be strict, I have to. If I have to tell them what to do or even push them to do it, then I have to. But, I do try to balance it all up with love, spending time with them talking about their friends and cooking their favorite food etc.
Believe me, it' not easy to be a mum to my kids at all!
Having said so much, if you still think I am a simple-minded, not exposed auntie, you must be a moron!
You also said I met the wrong man. But, I can tell you, my husband used to be the perfect husband, and every inch a family man. I made the right choice then. The right man just didn't remain right that's all.
Take my advice, don't go round calling people names or judge a person by just reading a short story of her 23 years married life. You really sound like my husband.
Contrary to what you said, I don't find it a waste of time coming to this site as I wanted to share and see if I can learn something new. Some feedbacks are very insigthful, esp Power's.
I too can sense like you, and your post also made me sense you have a character problem. You need to learn how to respect others and share with tact.
Again, no offence mean....